I'm Not Chuunibyou: Cafe Sculptor Showdown
I'm not chuunibyou. The carving knife spun fiercely as it hurtled toward the robber. Even to me, the thrower, the sight of a tool meant for sculpting flying like a dart was downright mesmerizing.
"Wh-what the fuck, you bastard!!"
The robber shoved Raichel aside in a panic. He barely managed to knock the carving knife away with the dagger in his hand. To track it with his eyes and react like that—yep, this guy definitely wasn't your average civilian.
"You started this! I was trying to keep it peaceful!!"
Bullshit. Grabbing an innocent bystander and threatening her was "peaceful"? What an idiot. No medicine for stupidity, huh? Too bad.
The robber charged at me, gripping his dagger in his right hand. As he barreled forward, I took one step back and drew a carving chisel and mallet from my belt.
"Hold still."
I tossed the chisel into the air.
"Wouldn't want it to miss and cause trouble."
At the precise moment it hung level with the floor, I swung the mallet and smashed it.
-Ting!
With a crisp, clear ring, the chisel rocketed straight ahead. It buried itself in the robber's left shoulder blade at blinding speed.
"Gaaahk!! Y-you fucking bastard!!"
His body shuddered as he screamed. The pain clearly sapped his momentum—his movements shrank back dramatically.
That was one of the biggest differences between erosion entities and humans. Erosion entities threw everything they had at destroying whatever was in front of them, but humans? Most couldn't push past the wall of pain.
That's why humans were way easier to deal with than erosion entities.
I pulled a spare carving knife with my free hand and closed in on the now-deflated robber.
"D-don't come closer...! Stay back!!"
Did this guy even remember he was the one rushing at me just moments ago?
I ignored his pleas and kept advancing.
"You goddamn fucker!!"
-Shwick!
He swung the dagger vertically. I sidestepped it.
-Shwick!
Horizontal slash next. I stepped back to evade.
Attacks this telegraphed? I couldn't get hit by them even if I tried.
"Poor bastard."
The words slipped out unbidden, and this time he didn't swing—he lunged with a straight thrust. Aimed right at my heart.
Targeting vitals? Smart. But blindly stabbing at them without any feints? That just made it easy to read. And most newbies never realized it.
-Clang!
I swung the mallet hard, smashing his incoming dagger aside with force. He didn't drop it, but the blade that had been gunning for my heart ended up stabbing empty air instead.
"...!"
The distance between us closed naturally. If I went for his heart right now, I could take his life without breaking a sweat.
But my goal wasn't to kill—it was to subdue. So no vital organs.
That said, non-vital spots? Fair game.
Decision made in a flash.
-Stab!
I drove the carving knife straight into the joint of his right shoulder, no hesitation.
"Gaaahk!!"
His arm jerked violently, like it was spasming. Must hurt like hell. Joints have way more nerve endings than other spots.
I remembered in my past life getting stabbed in the knee joint by an erosion entity—it wrecked me for weeks. Hurt so bad I wanted to die.
Bet this guy's feeling the same right now.
Drooling spit, the robber finally dropped his dagger and collapsed to the floor with a thud. Red blood poured from the punctured shoulder and blade.
"...And with this, another masterpiece!"
Seeing that blood, the words slipped out unconsciously. I flinched inwardly.
This mindset wasn't exactly normal. Half-mad artist vibes.
No wonder people might shun the world. Syncing with the sculptor consciousness while wandering around could get me mistaken for a lunatic.
Better limit it to combat situations only.
With that thought, I released the consciousness synchronization. My clothes and appearance reverted to normal.
"Phew."
The chisel and knife embedded in him vanished without a trace, but the wounds they left stayed put.
Perfect. Crisis averted—for now.
I rolled my shoulders in a stretch and headed to the counter, speaking up.
"Uh, sorry to bother you. Any idea when my drink might be ready?"
The dazed clerk blinked, snapping to attention. "Y-yes? Oh, the grapefruit ade? J-just a moment, please!"
"No rush. Take your time."
The clerk nodded frantically, like she was being chased, and started remaking the drink. As I cleared my parched throat and reached for my smartphone, a message popped up in front of me.
Hm. Achievement cleared for sure this time. 200 Fate as reward. Not game-changing now that daily quests are unlocked, but nice bonus. See? Good deeds pay off.
That's when a rumbling noise came from the cafe entrance.
"Everyone, hands up and drop your weapons! We got a call and—...Huh?"
Police-looking folks barged in, barking orders. But scanning the quiet interior, one tilted his head, sensing something off, and asked cautiously.
"...So, who's the suspect?"
The entire cafe pointed as one at the robber crawling on the floor.
One cop frowned, staring blankly at him, then pulled out his radio.
-Crackle.
He radioed it in, then rummaged for handcuffs.
* * *
After that, things wrapped up smoothly. The robber was fully cuffed and loaded into a squad car. A few cops stayed to take witness statements.
It was only natural they'd hear I'd subdued him.
"Thank you so much. Thanks to you stepping up, no civilians were hurt. If it's not too much trouble, could you share your name and ID?"
The dog-eared cop bowed politely and asked.
"Park Jeonghyeon, freshman at Providence."
"Ah, a Providence student. We'll report your actions to the faculty today. Expect a commendation later, and per regulations, a reward of about 500,000 Mirwan."
Commendations helped nudge up your Providence ranking a bit. Nothing dramatic—just a supporting factor, good for 1-3 spots maybe. Not for the top ranks, obviously. But I was still mid-tier at best.
"Just did what needed doing."
"No need to be modest. You're a hero right now."
Ahem. Wasn't out here chasing praise, but... it felt kinda embarrassing.
Then a welcome voice rang out.
"Order 31! Your grapefruit ade is ready!"
Oh, finally. I grinned, snatched the ade, and gave a small bow.
"Thanks. Uh, can I head out now?"
"Yes. Thanks for your help today!"
With the cop's okay, I chugged the ade on my way out. The cool refreshment soothed my scorched throat perfectly.
"A bit bitter."
Still mostly sweet, so not off-putting. And it went down smooth. Gotta savor it.
Whistling happily, I headed for my apartment. Or tried to.
"W-wait a sec!"
A high-pitched voice called from behind after just a few steps from the cafe.
"Yes?"
"How dare you make this Dark Flame Master go without even a thank—waaah!"
Raichel burst out of the cafe, lost her balance, and faceplanted.
"Ow..."
Tears glistened faintly in her eyes.
"You okay?"
"O-of course! Not a scratch. This body has long transcended mere pain."
She scrambled up, puffing out her chest like it was nothing.
"Good to hear. So, what'd you want?"
"Ah, yes. How dare you reduce this Dark Flame Master to some third-rate punk without even a word of thanks. The audacity!"
Basically, she wanted to say thanks before I bailed.
"Ahem. Normally, trash like that falls to a flick of my finger. But my power is sealed right now. You stepping in was a timely save. Thus, I personally thank you."
Sealed power? More like hiding her identity.
"Just the right thing to do."
"Your humility isn't entirely unwelcome. However... I have one question for you."
"Shoot."
Her eyes sparkled at my go-ahead.
"Are you, perchance, one who walks the path of darkness as well?"
Path of darkness? What're you on about, weeb?
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Heh heh... I can tell at a glance. Those mutterings you let slip while facing that fool—they mark you as one who dwells in shadows, like me!"
What'd I even say to set her off like this? I racked my brain.
-Hold still.
-Poor bastard.
-...And with this, another masterpiece!
Hm. Yeah, easy to misinterpret. She must've clocked the sculptor's speech patterns and lumped me in with her type.
"Nah, not me."
"Fufu, everyone denies it at first. But soon you'll see—we're different from the rest."
"Uh-huh."
I brushed off her delusion and changed the subject.
"Anyway, you a Providence freshman too?"
"Indeed. I, Raichel, mingle with these fools only to reclaim fragments of my sealed power."
She covered her face with her palm in some dramatic pose.
"Remember this well! I am Raichel—the Dark Flame Master who shall devour this world, the harbinger who scatters shadows upon it!"
Spouting nonsense like she was lost in her own fantasy. But surprisingly, one truth hid in her ravings.
Yeah.
"The mastermind that shall plunge this Providence into chaos!"
She wasn't just role-playing. She's a real mastermind.