Spit Out Your Desires
We boarded the Magic Train heading north from the empire and raced toward the northern hot spring resort.
When we traveled from Mt. Ksir back to the empire, we had simply rented a single car. This time, however, an entire exclusive train had been provided because a member of the imperial bloodline was traveling. With only us and the crew on board, the environment was extraordinarily comfortable.
The route led to a place famous for its resorts and tourist attractions, so there were countless stations along the way. Yet our train never stopped at any of them, simply charging straight ahead at full speed.
Each time I caught sight of the bustling platforms packed with people, a strange thrill ran down my spine in contrast to the quiet, cozy atmosphere inside our train.
Ah, this electrifying pleasure! The taste of power and privilege! Special rights that ordinary people could never enjoy!
This was what life was all about!
While I sat there basking in cheap superiority as I watched the common folk outside, Serena came over and sat directly across from me.
She had sent everyone else away, then crossed her arms and legs, fixing me with a steady gaze.
“So? How does it feel to score a free vacation? You gobbled it up without hesitation because you’re confident you can handle anything that so-called brother of mine tries, right? You already know what kind of schemes he’s cooking up?”
“Huh? I’m not part of his crowd, so how would I know what he’s plotting?”
My nonchalant answer made Serena squeeze her eyes shut.
Watching her take several deep breaths to calm herself, I took a huge bite of the snack her attendants had brought and added,
“That said, it’s true I’m confident I can handle anything he throws at us. The Crown Prince—”
“When it’s just the two of us, call him whatever you like. I don’t consider that bastard my brother, and I certainly don’t think of him as the Crown Prince.”
I accepted Serena’s request immediately.
“Understood. Then no matter what kind of crap that pathetic fuck pulls—like sending assassins last time—at the very least, protecting you and myself won’t be a problem. That assassin was definitely sent by that loser. Even when I warned him right to his face, the coward couldn’t say a single word. If I show him a few more examples, he’ll probably just hole up in his room trembling like a scared little rat.”
“......”
The moment I received permission to speak freely and actually did so, Serena stared at me with her mouth hanging open.
Then she suddenly burst into laughter.
“Ahahaha! I told you to call him whatever you wanted and you really went all out? What if I decide to hold that against you later?”
“I didn’t think you seemed like the type to pull such petty tricks, Your Highness—unlike the Crown Prince. Or did I misjudge you?”
Knowing full well that Serena wasn’t the sort to make such lame excuses, I answered with a grin.
Hearing me openly call the Crown Prince a moron and a loser, Serena’s mood clearly improved. She uncrossed her legs and grinned right back.
“No, you saw correctly. It’s just surprising. No matter how much I despise that man, and even though it’s only the two of us here, I didn’t expect anyone to actually take me up on the offer to insult the imperial family—even as a joke.”
“As you go through life, there’s bound to be at least one person like me.”
Serena chuckled and stretched luxuriously.
“Somehow you don’t really feel like a bodyguard. It’s not that we haven’t known each other long. It’s your attitude and tone—they’re subtly polite yet treat me as an equal, which makes them feel almost insolent…”
A little close to home.
The truth was, I only acted this casually and joked around because it was Serena. If the person I served had been Amari, I would have stayed rigidly formal.
In the game she was labeled a villainess, but she was simply a character who interfered with the romance fantasy plot. She wasn’t truly evil.
The real traditional villainesses were Amari and a few others.
Maybe that was why I had been treating her less like a vertical employer-guard relationship and more like an old acquaintance.
“If it made you uncomfortable, I’ll correct my behavior.”
“No, this is actually better. Every bodyguard and servant who stayed with me until now… either died secretly at that bastard brother’s hands or suffered endless harassment and disadvantages until they couldn’t endure it and quit. There weren’t many I could even talk to. If it looked like I was getting along with someone, it always ended badly, and everyone knew that…”
Serena gave a faintly sorrowful smile.
“After Her Majesty the Empress passed away, His Majesty has been especially weak toward that bastard. Since he’s the only child she left behind, he wants to believe in him until the very end. They were both such wonderful people. How did someone like that come from them…”
“Still, it seems His Majesty the Emperor cherishes you greatly. Wasn’t it out of concern for your future safety that he recognized my ability and specially assigned me as your bodyguard?”
At my words, Serena drew her knees up with a complicated expression and rested her chin on them.
“Yes, Father probably knows in his heart. That if that good-for-nothing becomes emperor, the threat to me will be on a completely different scale. But he can’t completely reject his own son, so he’s helping me in this roundabout way…”
Then she looked at me and smiled faintly.
“Still, it’s fortunate that you’re both skilled and trustworthy. When I first saw you, I thought, ‘Where did this guy even come from?’”
“As I’ve said many times, Your Highness’s own conduct back then was clearly problematic—”
“S-shut up!”
Realizing that charging an underground base with only two bodyguards had indeed been reckless, Serena’s face flushed red.
After that, we talked about many things throughout the train ride to the resort.
Serena shared stories of her life, especially tales from her childhood playing with Amari. She grew particularly animated describing how Amari, a year younger than her, used to call her big sister.
When she spoke of Bryden’s underhanded tricks, she exploded with indignation. When she recalled the loyal maid who had been framed and forced to leave the palace, or the reliable bodyguard who had been assassinated, she even shed tears.
After talking for a long time, Serena’s eyes sparkled as she turned the question on me.
“What about you? Sir Luke said you survived incredibly harsh training. What kind of training was it?”
“Ah, that. It’s a very deep story—one that can’t be heard without tears.”
I told her about the way I had grown up as well.
Honestly there wasn’t much of a story. From around age five I had performed mana circulation training for over ten hours a day, and from age eight it had been sixteen hours daily of nothing but physical conditioning and survival training.
Since Serena had only encountered the name Mt. Ksir in books and thought of it merely as “a very rugged mountain that’s difficult for humans to live on,” she didn’t seem to fully grasp just how horrific those days had been.
“…That’s how I learned that goblin balls taste like rotten eggs. I really wish I didn’t know.”
“That… must have been hard…”
“That damn crazy old man. Of course I can’t say he had no hand in making me strong, but I can’t stand how everyone treats him like some legendary mentor! Your Highness, if you ever become emperor, you must immediately pass a law that executes child abusers on the spot—”
“S-shh! You can’t just say things like that!”
The moment I mentioned her becoming emperor, she jumped in alarm.
“But you said it’s only the two of us here. If saying something like this would cause trouble, I should have already been in trouble when I insulted the Crown Prince earlier.”
“Still…”
“Instead of shushing, why don’t you shout it out loud? Why not honestly spew out every feeling you’ve kept bottled up inside? It might make you feel better. It’s not like I’ll tell anyone, and there’s no one I could tell anyway. The only person I serve is you, Your Highness, so it’s perfectly fine if I hear it.”
Serena scratched her cheek.
I encouraged her and decided to take the lead.
“Shall I go first? Aaaah! I want to earn money without working! I want money to fall from the sky while I laze around doing nothing for the rest of my life! I want to build a harem with beautiful women in a villa at a southern resort! I want to cut off that old man’s head!”
Since Serena had cleared everyone else out, there was no one in the car but the two of us. I freely poured out my desires.
Serena blinked several times, then her face turned slightly red.
“…Your wishes are so vulgar and crude.”
“Isn’t that how all people’s innate desires are? Why don’t you try it, Your Highness? It really does feel good.”
Serena refused several times, but my persistent coaxing finally swept her along and she spat out a few words.
“I… want… to become… emperor…”
“Your voice is too quiet! Again!”
“I want to become emperor…”
“Is that all your desire amounts to? Becoming emperor is the end goal? Again!”
I had noticed it before when scolding her on the street, but Serena had a tendency to get easily carried away when pressed like this.
After I pressed her repeatedly like a training instructor, Serena finally screamed as though releasing every ounce of pent-up resentment.
Having poured out the desires hidden inside her, Serena shivered all over and breathed heavily.
“Haa… haa… haa…”
“You’ve never said any of that out loud before, have you?”
“N-no…”
“Doesn’t it feel refreshing?”
“I… guess…? Hahaha… ahahahaha!”
Serena laughed so hard that tears leaked from her eyes, then collapsed limply against the seat as though all strength had left her.
“Haaaa… Somehow I feel incredibly relieved. Even though nothing has actually changed.”
“With me here, how could things not change? I haven’t met that many people since coming down from the mountain, but I seem to be quite strong.”
“You’re not simply strong… you’re something completely alien. I’ve never seen a knight or a mage use techniques like yours. But yes, you are strong. Hmm… All right! As your employer, I’m issuing an order!”
Serena had never given me a direct order before, so I straightened my posture slightly.
“Should I get down on one knee?”
“Ha? No need. You shoulder-checked me from behind the moment we met, yet now you’re pretending to be polite.”
“As I keep saying, Your Highness’s conduct at that time was also somewhat problematic…”
“Aaaah! Enough! This is an order from your lord! Listen carefully!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I simply sat up straighter in my seat and listened to the order she was about to give.
She glanced away slightly as she spoke.
“Never fall for Bryden’s schemes like the previous bodyguards and servants. Stay with me until the end. Don’t quit, and absolutely do not die. Honestly… you’re arrogant, have no manners, and don’t know proper etiquette… but when I’m with you, I feel at ease and my mood improves.”
I smirked at her first order.
“That’s far too easy. There’s no need for any special effort on my part.”
