Victory's Afterglow and Yunet's Shocking Spouse
We'd taken down that supposedly tough lich. Amid the rubble of the shattered altar, reduced to ruins, Mari and Yunet looked utterly triumphant.
"You saw that, right? The way I smashed a ton of them earlier?"
"If we're counting shattered statues or the number of magic stones, I got more. Your attacks were so inefficient, sis."
"Huh? Who calculates every single AoE strike? That's why your boyfriend got stolen."
"Hah... maybe I should just beat you properly today..."
Those two got along so well. Watching them bicker with their weapons set down on the ground, that was the thought that crossed my mind. They were always at each other's throats like this. That must be how they showed affection.
"Um... Huu... nim."
"(Yeah? What's up?!)"
I'd been spectating, wondering who would win between Yunet and Mari, when Ludia appeared at my side. She'd been rummaging through the dust, so her clothes and hair were caked in black dirt. Her face was smeared with it too—what the hell was that?
"Can I sit here?"
"...?"
Why was she suddenly acting so awkward? This was the girl who'd grabbed my arm without hesitation before.
I patted the empty spot beside me to brush it off, whatever it was. She looked like she had something to say.
"(Of course! Sit down nice and firm! I'll grope you all you want! Guhahaha!!)"
"Hah... haha..."
Damn this cheap ring. I knew glaring at it wouldn't help, but I shot it a piercing look anyway, pretending to stare it down. I had to express my frustration with my whole body just to survive.
She plopped down.
"That wasn't... your real feelings, right?"
Thankfully, Ludia sat naturally. I'd expected a smell of dirt, but instead, a faint, sweet scent tickled my nose. Then she cautiously rolled her big eyes toward me.
I nodded.
Nod nod nod nod.
I gave her a firm affirmation. I'm a really pure guy. Hard to believe, but I've never even properly held a girl's hand...
"...."
This wasn't something to brag about. Better keep my mouth shut.
"Did I... help at all today?"
I'd just been nodding nonstop without much to say, watching Mari and Yunet's epic bickering show, when Ludia spoke first.
"(Of course! You're the one who smashed the lich's heart today!)"
I thrust my thumb out at her. Of course the credit went to Ludia. The girl who usually cried or trembled had plunged into the chaos, digging through piles of stone. And with my vague description—something like a brown jar about yay big?—she'd found and destroyed it perfectly. We could lounge here in these ruins now because of her. Otherwise, we'd have been drained dry and turned into jerky.
"Heehee... Good. I thought I was just a burden to you this whole time, Huu-nim."
A gentle smile bloomed on Ludia's lips, the ones that usually went "Kyaa!" or "Eek!" But her eyes gazed emptily into the distance, somehow bittersweet. It wasn't a happy smile.
...Was she craving praise??
Thinking back, Ludia hadn't shone in combat during this dungeon crawl. Yunet or Mari had swung the blades to keep her safe most of the time. But she'd helped me a ton. Like when she stood up bravely despite fearing Luzadio, or when she stepped forward while I was out of it. If she felt inadequate, that was my fault. So I had to praise her. Tell her we'd made it this far thanks to her.
"(Guhahaha! You helped a bunch!!)"
"Yes?"
Ludia whipped her head around at the booming voice. Her long black hair cascaded silkily around her.
"(Looking forward to more! I can trust you with my back!!)"
"Ah..."
Ludia's face flushed from the neck up, heat rising without a squeal effect sound.
I'd meant to say something softer and kinder, but... well, it worked anyway.
Poof.
"..?"
But this I hadn't expected. Her body tilted toward me. Her flushed, pale cheek brushed my shoulder, filling the spot beside me with warm softness.
"Th-that's cheating."
"....?"
Cheating? All I'd done was praise her. But her words didn't sound like a complaint. Maybe because of the melting softness. I froze silently and let her do as she pleased.
"...Thank you, Huu-nim."
"Ugh. (Why?)"
"For protecting me all this time... that's why."
"Ughhh. (I've got responsibility for branding you—what do you mean?)"
Worried the ring might screw up, I rumbled from my throat. It probably wouldn't transmit anyway, but better than vulgar words.
After a moment of silence,
"If we get a chance at the hot springs... please run away for sure."
"...??"
Suddenly? I turned to her. She met my gaze steadily, unflinching. She'd always talked about running, but I'd never seen the resolve before. Had something changed?
"O-of course, I can't promise... but..."
I stared silently, and she bashfully turned away, trailing off.
Run away, huh. Hm... yeah, that was the original plan.
"Huu!!! Ludia!!! Come collect some magic stones!! We're gonna make bank!!"
"Huu-nim! There's a ton of magic stones!"
I patted her shoulder and stood.
The thing the lich had been trying to summon was Tantaros, once a loyal servant of a demon god. But it was so powerful that summoning it required massive amounts of mana, holy power, sacrifices, and more.
"Whoa... that lich must've been loaded."
"Even scrimping on food and sleep, it'd take forever to gather this much..."
Magic stones in this quantity?? We gawked at the piles stacked several times our height. After hours of gathering scattered and broken ones, we finally beheld this spectacle.
"With this much..."
"We could live off it forever. But... by church rules, it all belongs to the order."
"Aaaah!! No! I don't want that!"
As Mari tried to continue, Yunet shook her head wildly. Her blue ponytail flailed chaotically.
"It's all mine! I smashed the most!"
"Sis! You're a paladin of the church!"
"Argh! You serious?! Just hand over all that?! Screw it. I'm quitting the paladins."
"Haa..."
Was this sister dying to become a heretic? Mari pressed her throbbing temples, muttering to herself.
But Yunet persisted, pleading: how about we fairly split half? Come on, yeah? She tried convincing Mari and Ludia.
"But sis... how do we carry out all that?"
"...?"
Ludia, who'd been struggling with Yunet's tirade, pointed out the practical issue.
"Uh... uh... well..."
Yunet turned into a stammering fool.
We had to pass through the paladin camp right at the entrance. Roughly a thousand strong. Sneak all these magic stones past them? Impossible from the start.
"Haa..."
A sigh like her soul was escaping. Yunet's shoulders slumped, her face vacant as she stared at the stones. Seeing this pitiful side after all her usual antics was almost heartbreaking.
"(Guhahaha! Succulent bitch! Why so disappointed! I'll make you plenty happy!)"
"Tch... shut up, you zombie bastard..."
Yunet whipped her gaze to me, glaring daggers. At least she still had some brains left. Reacting right away to my crude comfort.
"(But really! Do we have to give up all this?! We could pocket a few without notice!)"
I didn't know much about magic stones, but I knew they fetched high prices from mages. A few chunks wouldn't stand out if we didn't get greedy.
The problem was...
"No. Rules are rules. All of it belongs to the church."
Mari. She'd planted her greatsword in the ground and stood blocking the stones, her expression screaming touch and die.
"And if even one is found on you... or Ludia-nim... nothing good will come of it. Especially right in the heart of the paladin camp."
Mari's bold voice before Yunet softened. She spoke harshly about rules, but her real goal seemed to be Ludia's safety.
"Haa... fine. I get it."
In the end, Yunet raised both hands in surrender.
"No wonder luck's been good lately. Fought a legend, took down a lich. Sigh... let's be satisfied. Satisfied."
Yunet grumbled as she picked up her spear.
"Let's go then. Tell the troops to haul this when they arrive. No more skeletons anyway?"
Finally leaving this damn dungeon. She rolled her shoulders, loosening up.
"Yeah. We wrapped this mission well, so let's rest up."
"Agreed."
"(Guhahaha! Gonna sleep for days!)"
We shook off the magic stone regrets and took a few steps. That's when it happened.
Rumble rumble groan...
"...?!?"
The stone door to the chamber we'd entered and sealed rumbled open noisily. Through the rising dust, a hazy silhouette appeared.
"Argh! Pesky to the end!!"
"Huu-nim! Protect Ludia-nim!"
"Ugh!"
"I'll fight too!"
Remaining skeletons?! Didn't they all die with the lich?! Or more stragglers? The more I thought, the tighter my grip on the sword.
"Uh... General Yunet?"
But an unfamiliar male voice echoed.
"...??"
Yunet reacted to it. Mari seemed to realize something too, lowering her guard and shouting.
"Is that you, General Chest?!"
"...?! Mari!"
As the dust settled, hundreds of paladins crammed the entrance. At the front, a man in white armor wrapped in holy symbols and a familiar golden-haired woman emerged.
"(Huh? Isn't that the lecherous yellow bitch?!)"
"Lady Amelia!"
"It's been a while, Ludia-nim, Huu-nim."
Amelia smiled kindly, her purple eyes sparkling. Beside her, the man looked puzzled, like who are these people?
"(And who's that male next to her?! Like that Luzadio guy I beat last time?)"
"That's General Chest. The commander here."
Ludia bowed politely, murmuring.
"Ugh. (Ah.)"
High-ranking. I bowed as she did. But why now? On purpose? Coming fully armed like this took serious resolve.
"Daaarling--!!!!!"
"???????"
I'd been thinking paladins were opportunistic go-getters when Yunet suddenly spouted nonsense. Then whoosh! forward.
"Kyaa! Darling! You came to rescue me?!!"
Whoa--!! Before my jaw could drop,
Yunet threw her arms around General Chest and clung.
"Y-Yunet... General! Ahem! Not in front of the troops..."
Chest looked troubled, eyes darting as he tried prying her off.
"Huh! Stay still! Let your wife hug you a bit!"
"W-well... just a moment, darling. Yeah? The subordinates are watching, my dignity..."
"......"
She was married?! My head spun. More shocking than killing the lich today. But everyone else took it in stride, like it was routine.
"(That succulent one...)"
"Shh. Huu-nim. Mind your words now."
"Ugh. (Right.)"
Married. So she was just a wild, quirky female knight... Wait a sec.
- Succulent bitch!
- I'll play with you in bed!
- Panting nonstop without tiring!
".........."
Every crude line I'd flung at her flashed through my mind. I'd been trash-talking the wife of the paladin captain?? This whole time??
"Ughhh. (Ah. Fuck... really...)"
A cold drop of sweat trickled down my back.