Pwease Sparrow Me

“Kyaaaaagh!”

Lihel twisted Velli's wrist.

The girl shrieked and thrashed, but in the end she was dragged down onto the ground.

“This is going to hurt a little.”

The joint lock came down a moment later.

…That's a mage?

What mage on this earth fought with wrestling holds?

Lihel was single-handedly dragging the very concept of "mage" through the mud.

And yet.

“….”

Watching Lihel move, I felt something strange stirring in me. How should I put it — like she was pleading with someone.

Hm.

Ever since I'd become a Grand Sparrow Mage, I'd been getting these feelings now and then. A little jolt of static, followed by the sensation of realizing something.

Probably just my imagination, though.

In the end Velli couldn't endure the pain and passed out, and Lihel brushed the dust off her hands and murmured quietly.

“…This should be enough.”

She gazed down at Velli in silence.

Something felt off.

Was there really something there after all?

No way to tell.

Either way, the incident was resolved. Nothing worth wringing my feathers over.

But what about the TA, though?

From what I'd gathered, Velli's family was holding the TA's family hostage. Even if Velli got beaten black and blue, the situation itself wouldn't change.

Lihel reached out a hand toward the TA and spoke.

“Teaching Assistant. Don't worry about what comes after. Whatever happens, I will help you.”

Revered by the cadets as an object of pure terror, Instructor Lihel.

Honestly, she's a pretty decent person.

Flapping slowly, I took my leave.

-Flap, flap!

Tonight I'd sleep with an easy heart.

Of course, it wasn't actually bedtime yet.

Hm.

Not that there was anything to do even if I stayed awake.

I decided to flop onto the bed and think for a while.

Roll, roll.

Being round made rolling around on a mattress wonderfully easy. Being a sparrow really did have its perks.

Anyway.

After rolling around like that for ages —

…Life is boring.

An overwhelming wave of ennui washed over me. Bored, bored, bored.

They say the solution to boredom is to make your life a paid subscription, but where exactly was a sparrow supposed to spend money?

Sigh. Fine, magic experiments it was.

I squeezed my tiny little brain.

Unlikely that squeezing a sparrow's head would produce anything, but still.

Building-destruction magic.

Mm. No twist there. Feeling pathetic that this was the kind of magic I was daydreaming about, and then —

…Oh, ooooh!

Knowledge really did come flooding into my head. A bit of a headache, but bearable.

And thus a new magic was born.

Does it actually work?

No idea whether it could really erase a building. But there was no way to test it, was there?

…Hm.

After that I sank into deep contemplation. What kind of magic should I make next?

What was even the standard for "useful" magic, to begin with?

Devastating destructive power?

How powerful would that have to be? Building-erasure magic was already a colossal stretch of the brain — was I really going to push further?

Ah, whatever.

Continent-burning magic.

I didn't actually want it. I just pictured it, as an experiment.

But then.

…!

Knowledge began pouring into my brain. God. My head hurt.

I couldn't understand it. There were so many formulas. So intricate. Tens of thousands of formulas, all interlocking to produce a single outcome.

There was no form to it. Only the phenomenon existed. Not even logic. Not even a process. It was as if the formulas had simply been forced into alignment for the sake of the result: "burn the continent."

And the moment every last piece of that knowledge was hammered into my skull —

“Chirp… chweee…”

My brain switched itself off.

I opened my eyes on the bed.

Right in front of me was Lucia's face. Fast asleep.

Oh my.

Flustered, I scanned my surroundings first. The sun had apparently set; the room was dark.

Had I been out cold for that long?

Hm.

Lucia had said she'd come once the training grounds closed. The training grounds closed at ten p.m.

…I really did sleep forever.

From broad daylight straight into the night. All because I'd thought about a continent-deletion ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠magic — that bratty-middle-schooler of a spell.

What a waste of a day.

Still, I kept the memory, huh.

I recalled the formulas. If I could actually cast it, the goal of "burning a continent" seemed achievable. The problem was I couldn't understand the process at all.

Not sure this even counts as magic.

I gave up on comprehension. If I absolutely had to cast it, I probably could — but it would never come to that. Erase the continent, and Lucia dies with it.

Not acceptable.

My thoughts more or less settled, I was just considering drifting off, nothing left to do — when the sleeping face of Lucia snagged my gaze.

The feeling of my blood-Lucia concentration refilling to the brim after running low all day.

I'll just watch her a little longer, then sleep.

She'd worked hard chasing down Velli, after all. A reward like this was only fair —

“…Master?”

Lucia's eyes fluttered open softly.

Silence descended in that instant.

“….”

Lucia blinked several times without a word. Half-asleep, by the feel of it.

What's this?

The moment the question formed, her hand began stroking me.

Pat, pat…

My body fit perfectly into her palm. A gentle touch, then slow strokes. This went on for a few minutes, until —

“Snh…”

Her hand stilled with an even, sleeping breath.

Hm.

Thanks to which I ended up pinned beneath Lucia's hand — but honestly, it didn't feel bad at all.

…That night, I slept very, very satisfactorily.

The next day arrived.

Lucia seemed to have completely forgotten the previous night's events.

Even better.

Anyway — we were preparing to go out from early in the morning. Because of the hidden piece obtainable only today, Sunday of the second week.

I'd told Lucia that I sensed a strange mana current in the forest, and that we should investigate it once.

I am the strongest.

Just as the Grand Sparrow Mage, blood-Lucia concentration fully maxed out, was declaring that no one alive could stop me —

“Master. I'm ready.”

Lucia called me from the bedroom.

Had she finished changing?

I flew into the bedroom to inspect her outfit.

[Mm.]

White shirt, black jacket and tie. A skirt cinched tight with a belt. A perfectly ordinary academy uniform — yet the moment Lucia put it on, the entire atmosphere changed. Overwhelming visuals.

Back at her magic school days, when she'd been infamous as a wicked girl, they said she'd even had a secret Lucia Admiration Society operating in the shadows.

Can't argue with that.

Anyway.

[Looks like we're all set. Let's go.]

Perching on Lucia's shoulder, I headed for the forest.

And as we walked along for a while, a thought suddenly struck me.

Why does she believe everything I say so easily?

If it had been just a simple investigation request, fine — but I'd asked Lucia for one more thing. To come wearing only her clothes, bringing absolutely nothing with her.

It was because of the hidden gimmick, and once again Lucia had accepted it without a shred of doubt.

I'd even prepared a model answer in case she asked why she had to — and now I felt a little let down.

Does she just trust everything that comes out of my beak?

A Confucian maiden who never defies her heaven-like master… no, scratch that, she had a long rap sheet of defiance already. So was my trust rating simply piercing the sky, then?

[Lucia.]

“Yes, Master.”

Time to test it with a weird request.

[You need to do a somersault right here.]

“…Won't you fall off my shoulder, Master? Could you hop down for a moment?”

She didn't even ask why she had to do a somersault. Her only concern was whether I'd fall.

[…Never mind. Just keep walking.]

“Okay.”

Lucia trusted me to a frankly suspicious degree.

Hm.

It felt somehow off to chalk it up to simple master-worship, but I chose not to think about it. If it feels good, it is good.

After a long walk, we found a cave entrance at the base of a cliff.

[Here. The mana flow was a little off around here.]

Lucia closed her eyes and concentrated for a moment. Trying to sense the mana?

“…I can't feel anything at all. Can you sense it even from a distance, Master?”

No, I just made it up.

[You'll be able to someday too.]

“Thank you for your kind words.”

A twinge of guilt — but into the cave we went.

The interior was packed with boulders. A few hundred, by my rough count. Smash one of them and an entrance portal would appear.

And how was anyone supposed to find the right one?

For reference, Chloe just says "huh, there's a slightly suspicious rock over there?" and finds it instantly. Protagonist buffs are madness.

[How long would it take to smash every rock in here?]

“About two hours, I'd say.”

[Yeah?]

No need to waste time, then.

[Cover your eyes and ears with mana.]

Lucia nodded and circulated her mana. I layered a second barrier of my own over it, then prepared a different spell.

Incinerate.

This one ate a fair amount of mana. The formulas were finicky too — the calculation took about a second — but the firepower was beyond question.

-Kuuuuuung!

A lance of flame, fired like a laser, filled the cave. The spell held for several seconds.

[You can drop the mana cover now.]

“This is…”

The cave had been carved clean into a cylinder.

[Lucia. Let's go to that purple portal.]

“Yes, Master.”

Lucia laid her hand on the portal.

-Vmmm.

A violet ripple swallowed us whole.

I'd worried ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it might only take Lucia, but fortunately it seemed to be abducting both of us.

But now we need luck on our side again.

This hidden piece split into two extreme outcomes: the free lunch, and the wild goose chase.

Either you did nothing and walked away with a game-breaking item, or you stood around for thirty solid minutes and got kicked out.

I want the free lunch.

From the bottom of my heart, I prayed for the free lunch.

-….

A brief stillness. I opened my eyes and surveyed our surroundings.

A stone chamber on all sides — the feel of ancient ruins. Maybe three meters across, with a massive door ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠set into one wall.

Mmm.

It's the goose chase.

My mood curdled instantly. A free lunch? Walk through a misty forest for five minutes and they hand you a hidden piece. But here, you had to wait a full thirty minutes just to get auto-ejected. And it didn't even give you anything.

I'm angry.

Worse — the being who granted the hidden piece was an elf.

In this world, elves were a legendary race regarded as the equals of dragons. I'd wanted to show her to Lucia at least once. It hurt.

“…Master.”

As I wallowed in deep regret, Lucia rested her hand against the great door.

[What is it?]

“How does one open this?”

In the game, that door could not be opened. Feed mana into it and the interaction simply cut off midway.

“I tried manipulating it with mana, but the connection suddenly severed.”

So Lucia had hit the exact same wall.

[Let me try.]

I worked my mana too.

…The mana itself seems to be refused.

I could feel something like a button. Press that, presumably, and it would open — I stretched my mana toward it, and it simply dissolved.

[I failed too.]

At that, Lucia said calmly:

“If even you could not open it, Master, then it must simply be a door that cannot be opened.”

Hm.

It felt like there was a way, though.

I backed up a little and examined the door. In one corner was a small hole — just barely big enough for my body. And across the center of the wall was scrawled a bizarre inscription —

Gwah.

What was that supposed to mean? Was this thing achuunibhou?

Also — why can I read it?

It was script I didn't recognize. As I recalled, the game described it as unintelligible too.

So why did I understand it?

[Lucia. Think you could read the writing over there?]

“No, it's script I don't know…”

Lucia couldn't read it either, of course.

Hm.

Skipping it.

No amount of staring would produce an answer. Besides, the thing that mattered right now was that small hole in the corner.

[Lucia. Could you put me inside that hole?]

To conquer every hole that can be conquered — such is the life of an Alpha-Sparrow.

With Lucia's help, the hole invasion proceeded without delay.

[Ah.]

My sparrow behind was apparently bigger than it looked, because I got stuck once — but with Lucia pushing, I squeezed through.

Well, probably pointless, but.

Nothing to do for thirty minutes, so I figured I'd explore. The interior beyond was laid out like a maze, and I was actually having a fair bit of fun poking around when —

…?

There was a strange button.

I'd come over because I'd found a zone with no mana whatsoever, and what was this?

-Click.

I tapped it lightly with my beak —

[-Huh?]

When I came to, I was in the misty forest.

“….”

Lucia's eyes looked down at me. Her expression was as calm as ever, but her eyes alone couldn't hide what she was feeling.

“…As expected, Master, you are… remarkable.”

I was pretty shocked myself. Security got bypassed by a sparrow? My chest swelled with pride.

Anyway.

We pressed on through the mist.

And after a few ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠minutes of walking —

“My, you're early this time.”

We came face to face with a golden-haired elf.

“…An elf?”

Lucia stopped in her tracks.

An elf. A being untouched by the passage of lifespan, risen to a transcendent plane alongside the dragons. Those green eyes fixed their gaze upon Lucia.

“Did you come as a teenage girl this time? What remarkably peculiar taste.”

“….”

Lucia held her silence, as if to say this was not her place to step in.

The elf's eyes darted this way and that.

This is kind of scary for me too.

In the original story, the elf never says a single word to Chloe. She simply hands over the item and sends her on her way. So when a being of that caliber addressed me directly, I was more than a little unnerved.

Just give us the hidden piece, please.

The tension stretched —

“But why are you so quie…?”

The elf's gaze met mine.

“…Ah. So you noticed, did you?”

She let out a hollow laugh.

[Notice what?]

“…Telepathy? Don't tell me it's that one? No, she should still be asleep — did you steal a vessel body or something?”

No idea what she was muttering about over there.

“Hm. By the way, how did you open the door? With that body, it should have been absolutely impossible.”

I just pressed a button and it opened?

“No answer, I see. Fine. I'll take that as an answer.”

The elf began moving slowly toward us. There was no killing intent in her bearing — oddly enough, I couldn't sense even a flicker of mana.

“Hey, so, you see?”

She showed a light, easy smile, and then —

“I've only just had my seal broken. Could you possibly spare my life? Just this once?”

She dropped to her knees and clutched at Lucia's hand.

“I don't want to die. I won't interfere with you — couldn't you just end it with resealing me…? Please, I'm begging you, please, okay…?”

The elf wept as she pleaded.

What is this?

I had literally just come to collect a hidden piece.