Festival 5
“Let go of my hand already.”
At her usual sharp tone, I released her hand, and Irene narrowed her eyes as she looked around. She didn’t seem pleased to be wedged in the middle of such a crowd; rubbing the shoulder that had been jostled a moment ago, she spoke in a voice much colder than before.
“There are too many people.”
“It’s a festival. I expected there’d be far more people than usual.”
“It didn’t look nearly this crowded from above. I can barely breathe down here. What are we waiting for?”
“I’m not sure. Perhaps a traveling troupe?”
Wasn’t there a scene in the festival arc where they watched a traveling troupe? When I answered with that memory in mind, Irene murmured, “A traveling troupe...” and turned her gaze back to me.
“I’m not all that interested in traveling troupes.”
That was a little unexpected. I had thought she’d enjoy that sort of thing, but the moment she said it, her interest in the subject seemed to vanish, and she shook her head with that same indifferent expression again.
“Let’s go.”
“...Yes, my lady.”
I laughed bitterly when I saw how cold her face had become again. If she’d been interested in this sort of thing, that would’ve been better. But then what, exactly, would she like?
When she rested, she only read a few books, and even those were usually on scholarship or economics. I couldn’t easily guess her tastes, and frustration must have shown on my face.
But there was still plenty left to see at the festival, so I gave my shoulders a little shrug and moved to her side. “Is there anything you wanted to see?”
“No. I’ve seen the general idea of what they do at festivals, but... nothing stands out.”
“I see.”
Oddly enough, I wasn’t all that flustered. Ever since her reaction to the traveling troupe had been lukewarm, I’d suspected she might not care much for the parade or procession that would start soon after.
Still, one event I’d spotted earlier lingered in my mind, though I wasn’t sure whether it would really catch her interest.
“Would you be interested in this event, perhaps?”
“...Magic?”
“Yes. I thought this one might be a bit more to your liking.”
Irene looked at the flyer I held out for a moment, then nodded easily. “All right. Let’s have a look.”
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...This was my fault for expecting too much from a medieval magic show.
A groan escaped me as I watched the ridiculous spectacle before my eyes. The look in Irene’s eyes, which had sparkled with curiosity at first, had already faded into a thin, annoyed line, and every now and then, when she met my gaze, she looked at me so coldly that I found myself lowering my head without meaning to.
Did I really think it would be this bad?
They could at least have produced a pigeon properly.
What the so-called magician had shown us was, frankly, embarrassing even to call magic. He’d failed a card shuffle, dropped the deck he’d been mixing onto the ground, and then, as if nothing had happened, began wiggling his fingers and acting as though he were about to perform something truly astonishing. By then, every shred of expectation had already collapsed.
Yes. I was ruined.
When the performance ended, Irene didn’t even speak to me. She only walked silently ahead of me, never once asking where Lopena or Sir Chris had gone.
It was so cold around her that every step she took seemed to freeze the air itself, and for a moment I nearly mistook the season for winter.
“...I’m sorry.”
“......”
“I had no idea the thing I recommended would be this boring.”
“You recommended it without even checking first?”
Every answer she gave me came with thorns in it, and all I could do was bow my head and smile bitterly.
This wasn’t what I wanted.
The Irene who had once brightened at the very mention of a festival was gone, and in her place remained only the girl staring at the crowd with a detached expression, as if this whole situation were nothing but a tedious inconvenience.
Had she been disappointed? My mouth tasted bitter for no reason.
I’d only started this with good intentions. Had I somehow shattered whatever expectations she’d been holding onto?
Before I knew it, she was walking alone ahead of me, and her mood seemed so chilly that it made the colors around her look duller by the second.
Those vivid shades faded, gradually turning into a monotonous, monochrome backdrop.
Maybe this was what a background drawn only in dark dots felt like.
The lively current of people slowly came to a standstill, and the once-bright sky began to darken bit by bit.
And yet, even as time passed, Irene still didn’t speak.
Her face was expressionless, just as it was back at the ducal manor, as if she’d lost all anticipation for the festival.
Her expression, dim and blurred like paint splashed in muddy water, made me frown.
This wasn’t what I wanted. I’d hoped she might enjoy even a little of the festival, hadn’t I?
It was too early to give up. At least not until she’d seen everything the festival had to offer.
“What about that?”
I forced my darkened expression to relax, then approached Irene and asked in a brighter voice. She didn’t answer, and she didn’t react either, but I smiled anyway.
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......
If she said she hadn’t expected anything from the festival, that would’ve been a lie.
Even when her bodyguard knight had asked whether she wanted to go, even when she’d looked up at the Yuris banner fluttering over the streets, her mood had still been fairly decent.
This was supposed to be her chance to experience the Foundation Day Festival for herself, something she hadn’t been able to do before, and the noise from all around had sounded lively enough that she’d actually felt a little anticipation.
To be honest, she had even thought it might give some life to her days spent buried under documents.
But this festival hadn’t fulfilled a single expectation she’d had.
It was just noisy. It only hurt her ears. At first she’d been a little hopeful, but all that met her eyes after that was a series of things so pathetically low in quality that it was almost embarrassing.
That magic performance Evan had brought her to was no different; in the end, wasn’t it little more than a scam?
It was probably impossible to restore expectations once they’d already disappeared.
And because her hopes had been fairly high, her mood had sunk just as quickly.
Maybe her loss of interest in the festival was nothing more than a rejection of the feelings that had begun to bloom in some hidden corner of her heart.
Everyone around her was laughing.
With no worry or concern in sight, they simply laughed and chattered over whatever was in front of them.
They held skewers of meat in one hand and glasses filled with liquor in the other.
It was all so simple, and yet they looked happy.
Compared to her, they lived in places that were so much less, and yet they seemed truly happy, truly content.
Whenever that sight reached her, she felt as though she’d been cut off from the world they lived in.
What would they say if they knew that she, who thought herself part of a different world — a better one, one where she would be happy simply by seeing good things and only good things — was in truth not happy at all?
They would probably laugh. They would tell her not to lie, not to deceive them.
So she couldn’t be pleased. As if the brief hope she’d placed in this festival had all been a lie, she kept her usual indifferent expression and chilled her eyes.
“...I’m sorry.”
Though he’d done nothing wrong, seeing the bodyguard knight bow his head over nothing more than my capricious mood drove my own sinking feelings even deeper into the abyss.
It felt like sinking into a swamp. My vision grew darker, my breathing tighter, my eyes more and more creased with a frown.
Everything I could see seemed bright, and that only made me feel as though I’d been locked away inside a shadow.
My slow steps came to a halt, and I let out a breath that felt as though it had climbed all the way up to my throat.
I wanted nothing more than to sit down somewhere and rest, so I dragged a hand over my frowning face and lifted my head.
And then I saw green eyes. Whenever I crouched in some pitch-black darkness, that green light always seemed to cut through the gloom and find me.
Even when I acted harshly, even when I scolded him, that face still came to me as if nothing were wrong and smiled gently all the same.
“What about that?”
“...Evan.”
But this time, that expression wasn’t entirely bright.
It was a smiling face, yes, but there was undoubtedly something negative hidden within it.
Watching the faint shadow that seemed to rest over his face like a passing cloud made my chest feel strange.
Because I knew all too well that darkness had come about because of me.
“A little time has passed, but really, the festival only starts when it gets dark.”
“......”
I avoided answering. More precisely, I was afraid to meet those eyes.
I didn’t want to keep holding the rose in my own hand any longer.
Like that princess who swallowed the poisoned apple, like that girl who put on the red shoes that lured her into misery and met such a pitiful end.
I didn’t want to go through that kind of regret.
Like the stars that appear in the darkening sky and disappear once the sun rises, this too would be nothing more than a moment.
So I ignored it as hard as I could, steering clear of the calm voice whispering at my ear and looping through my head, and simply kept my eyes forward as I walked.
“I heard the skewers are the specialty here. Isn’t it even a little interesting?”
I covered my ears to escape the buzzing voice beside me. Even so, the voice that slipped through the gap was sweet. Damn it.
“My lady.”
“...Evan.”
“The fireworks will be starting soon.”
“Evan Fried.”
Every word that came out of my mouth was colder than ice.
I was already tired. I wanted him to leave me alone now.
The swamp I’d fallen into was deep and cold, so I wished he’d stop holding out his hand to me at all.
And yet, even after hearing words cold enough to freeze the air around us, my bodyguard knight still smiled.
He smiled with a softness so gentle it felt as though it had been painted with a feather brush.
“...I’d just like you to look, that’s all. I brought up the festival because I wanted you to be even a little more at ease, my lady.”
He didn’t seem to be enjoying this very much, though. That bitter smile and the slight crease in his brow tugged at me.
This wasn’t his fault. It was only my own caprice.
“I heard the fireworks at the Foundation Day Festival are the most famous in the Empire. I think it would be worth seeing them at least once.”
“......”
Only then did the darkened street come into view. People were looking up at the sky as they waited for something, and I noticed, too, that the sky was far darker than I remembered.
“Night...?”
At that question, Evan, who had been staring at me, gave a small shrug and spoke. “A lot of time has passed. Once this fireworks display ends, today’s festival will probably be over too.”
Over. I gave a faint, mocking smile at the word. There wasn’t a single thing I’d enjoyed at this festival today.
I’d simply wandered these streets while lost in my own world.
Without saying a word, without reacting to anything I heard.
And yet Evan was still here.
He stood there as if nothing were wrong, showing no sign of complaint at all, only looking up at the sky.
...What on earth.
I couldn’t understand it. If it were me, I would have given up and shut my mouth long ago.
I couldn’t understand my bodyguard knight, who was still telling me to watch the fireworks.
And yet why did my eyes keep drifting back to him?
Piuu—
I watched the red streak slicing across the sky.
The fireworks bursting in a hundred colors tore through the dark sky and bloomed into flowers.
Those magical bursts of light were so dazzling they stole everyone’s attention in an instant.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
“......”
The flowers blooming out of that pitch-black darkness were truly beautiful.
For a moment, I even thought they were whispering hope to me.
As if they were telling me that even buried beneath all this negativity, I would one day be able to overcome it.
My gaze, which had been fixed on the flames burning in the sky, soon turned to my bodyguard knight.
Perhaps because he found the fireworks lighting up the black sky fascinating, his face as he stared upward looked strangely foolish.
He came over when I didn’t even want to talk, then started muttering all sorts of things on his own.
He had to know I wasn’t listening to a word he said. I’d snapped at him before, cut him off coldly, even bit back at him.
And still he smiled.
If he wasn’t a fool, then what else could I call him?
No matter how harshly I spoke, he would eventually come to me and smile. He truly was a fool.
“...You look foolish.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind if you didn’t hear me.”
After staring at Evan as he asked what I meant, I turned my head and looked back up at the sky. I hadn’t meant to say it, so I didn’t even know why the words had slipped out.
But the sky was no longer dark.
The darkness no longer blurred my eyes or tightened around my chest like a vice.
With each burst of light, the fog in my vision began to clear.
Puuung—
And then a green firework soared into the sky and painted it anew.
Brighter and more radiant than anything before it, the light was like a second sun rising over the heavens, dressing the night sky in brilliant color.
My eyes, resting on that green light, curved ever so slightly.
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