Isn't It Common Sense to Beat the Hero's Party Porter? (1)
The girl was named Angela Matahari.
She had been the protagonist's friend since their Academy days. Born into poverty without parents, she lived a diligent life—attending classes in the mornings and running her small tea house in the evenings. Later, through her connection as the protagonist's friend, she joined the Hero's party as their porter. In the original story, she played a vital supporting role: soothing the protagonist's mental state and strengthening the bonds between party members. Though she contributed little in terms of raw combat power, she was portrayed as a warm-hearted figure who fulfilled her own important function… or so everyone believed.
In truth, she was one of the people who, right after the Demon King's death, delivered a refreshing blow to the back of the protagonist's head—just like all the others. And in a way the protagonist had never seen coming.
“A… Angela… How could you…”
“Sorry. The truth is, I hated you from the very beginning.”
With a cold smile, she had been the first to open the gates of betrayal. The image of her—once trusted as more than a comrade, as a true friend—flashing those blood-red eyes and stabbing a blade into the protagonist's back overlapped perfectly with the scene before me now.
At this very moment, the same backstabbing bitch stood right in front of me, looking completely flustered as she stared at my face with an anxious expression. Red tea was still dripping from my chin.
If it had been anyone else, I might have laughed it off. Thanks to recalling my past-life memories and mindset, I had become surprisingly generous compared to just moments ago.
But when I thought about it, there was no real need to be lenient with the bitch standing before me. Emotionally and rationally, she was someone I would have to thoroughly crush sooner or later anyway. Moreover, compared to the others, dealing with Angela would be relatively low-risk. Which meant there was no reason to drag this out—I could start stomping her into the ground right now.
“What the hell is this?”
“I-I’m so sorry, miss!”
“Sorry? That’s it? A lowly commoner dares to dump tea all over this face?”
“I-I made a mistake… It was absolutely not intentional! Please forgive me!”
Angela bowed deeply, frantically pouring out apologies. The vivid I’m fucked expression on her face made me smile inwardly with satisfaction.
Even if it truly wasn’t intentional, the fact remained that she had launched a tea attack on the face of none other than Rosette, the infamous mad bitch of the Academy whose reputation preceded her everywhere. I never imagined my accumulated notoriety as a crazy woman would shine in quite this way, but it was working out perfectly according to my intentions.
In a voice laced with chilling mockery, I said, “Not intentional…? I don’t think that’s the case at all.”
“W-what…? What do you…”
Angela answered while breaking into a cold sweat. As I looked at her, I took the handkerchief my maid handed me and wiped the tea from my face.
“The timing is far too perfect to call it a simple mistake. Right as I was about to take a sip—smack, straight to the back of my head…”
The handkerchief was stained red from the makeup and tea. Having taken a full facial tea bath, my current appearance was undoubtedly a mess, but in this situation, that actually worked in my favor.
“Could this really be a coincidence? Or perhaps… it was a deliberate attempt to harm me under the guise of an accident.”
“!”
“That is not true at all! Why on earth would I… Absolutely not! This was nothing more than a simple mistake. There was no other intention whatsoever!”
Angela vehemently denied it, her face filled with deep dismay. The way she broke into a heavy sweat, desperately trying to explain herself, almost looked pitiful.
However.
“Is that so? Well… it could be. But.”
“!”
I firmly grabbed Angela’s hand. Her wrist was so thin it seemed like it would snap with just a little pressure. I pulled her toward me and whispered quietly into her ear.
“Where’s the proof that what you’re saying is true?”
“That… that is…”
There were no other customers inside the tea house right now. The only people present were myself and the maid, who had no choice but to take my side no matter what. In other words, there was no one who could testify that Angela’s actions had been unintentional.
“A mere commoner attempted to harm a duke’s daughter. In the process, the young lady suffered burns to her face. That should be more than enough to rot you away in prison for the rest of your life, don’t you think?”
“Ah… aah…”
In reality, the tea had been half-cooled, so the mark was barely more than a faint redness—hardly worthy of being called a burn. But if I said it was a burn, then it was a burn. For Angela, this was a story that turned the anxiety she had felt from the moment she first saw my face into cold, hard reality.
It was practically a death sentence. At those words, Angela immediately dropped to her knees on the bare floor.
“I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, miss! It was my fault… Please, just once… just once, show me mercy!”
Her body trembled as tears streamed down her face while she begged. Watching this scene in real time—Angela on her knees in a manner similar to when she had faced the protagonist after he became the Demon King in the original story—gave me a strangely satisfying thrill.
Of course, since the buildup wasn’t there yet and both the situation and timing were different, the refreshing “cider” flavor wasn’t as strong as it could have been. Still, seeing the future two-faced bitch groveling on the floor was quite delicious in its own right.
Naturally, no matter how entertaining the situation was, I had zero intention of letting this bitch off easily.
Once you bite someone’s nape, you have to finish the job.
I let out a light snort at Angela, who still had her forehead pressed to the floor.
“Mercy…? I’ve never given anything like that before, so I wouldn’t know.”
“M-miss…”
Angela’s face turned deathly pale. But at the same time, I could see it clearly.
Beneath the fear on her face, a single streak of vivid hostility flashed across her eyes.
If I pushed her any further here… she would definitely try to pull out her “blade.” Like a cornered rat lunging at a cat.
Crushing her right here and now would be a decent “preventive measure”… but.
“…However. Shall I give it a try? This thing called mercy.”
“!”
The hostility wavered slightly. I seized that opening.
With a thick smile on my lips, I extended my hand toward Angela.
“I’ll give you a choice. One is to spend the rest of your life rotting in prison for the crime of daring to harm a duke’s daughter despite being a mere commoner. And the other…”
“…Gulp.”
Angela swallowed dryly. Savoring the anxiety washing over her face, I delivered the real point.
“To become my subordinate until I feel satisfied.”
“!”
It was practically an offer she couldn’t refuse. And then—
“I-I will! I will become Your Grace’s subordinate!”
The exact answer I had expected came out of her mouth. Immediately afterward, Angela bowed her head in submission and grasped my hand.
A deep smile spread across my lips as I watched her… but at the same time, I knew.
Although I had caught the fish, I still couldn’t eat it yet.
To put this bitch in my mouth… I would first have to draw out the poison.
*
“Haa…”
The woman let out a heavy sigh as she left the Academy. It was Angela Matahari.
Until recently, the walk home had felt pleasant, but now her steps toward the tea house felt unbearably heavy.
‘Why did something like this have to happen to me…’
Rosette, the villainess infamous even within the Academy for her foul temper. Although Angela had only heard rumors about her before and had never spoken to her directly, their first meeting had occurred in the absolute worst possible way.
Who could have guessed she would end up giving that filthy woman something to latch onto? She hadn’t even known the woman had visited her tea house in the first place. She had harbored no intention of attacking her—let alone making contact—yet this had still happened. If this wasn’t a bolt from the blue, what was?
‘If she’s such a high-and-mighty noble, she should just go to one of those fancy tea houses in the middle of the city. Why did she have to come all the way to our little hole-in-the-wall place…’
She already had more than enough work to do. To think she would get her ankle caught in such a rotten place. Lamenting her misfortune, Angela reached for the closed door of the tea house.
At that moment.
“Is it open yet?”
“…Ha.”
Angela let out a heavy sigh as quietly as she could. When she turned her head, her eyes fell on the very person in question… Rosette.
“You’ve… come again today?”
“Yeah. I came to eat again today, so hurry up and get ready.”
Unlike the first time when she had arrived with her maid, Rosette had come alone every day for the past week. Fortunately, she hadn’t started beating people as Angela had feared, but the mere presence of someone holding power was oppressive enough.
Just as she was thinking that work wouldn’t be comfortable today either—
“What are you doing? Open it already.”
“Yes? Ah… yes.”
Following her “master’s” command, Angela hurriedly opened the door. Originally, the tea house only opened right after she returned from the Academy, but lately, just coming here made her feel like she was suffocating.
Still, living creatures adapt and survive somehow as long as the environment isn’t lethal. After a full week had passed, she had grown slightly less nervous than at the beginning. Angela immediately headed into the kitchen.
Although it was called a tea house, like most such establishments, it also sold simple meals. She brought out the same items she had served for the past week and placed them in front of Rosette, who had taken a seat.
“Here you are. Please enjoy your meal.”
Buttered bread, a cup of coffee, sausage, fried eggs, and a salad with grapefruit. Honestly, the menu itself wasn’t anything special. It was just a slightly generous portion of ordinary food that didn’t require much effort or skill.
Watching Rosette slowly put the food into her mouth—food that was lacking in many ways for a noble to eat—Angela became convinced that the true purpose wasn’t the meal itself. She was doing this to torment her. With a hint of sarcasm, she asked,
“Is it to your liking? No matter how I look at it, it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing one would come to eat every day for a whole week.”
It was a provocation—or complaint—pushed right to the edge of what was acceptable. However.
“It’s good.”
“!?…”
Rosette answered without the slightest hesitation. Angela’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, but she soon gave a bitter smile and said,
“You’re joking too much. For a noble young lady to say something like that about mere…”
“I’m not joking. Even if it’s free food, if it tasted bad, why would I bother coming all the way here to eat it?”
“…”
Rosette took a bite of sausage as she spoke. At those words, Angela asked directly, putting a bit of genuine feeling into it.
“…You’re not doing this to harass me, are you?”
“Would I waste a precious meal just for something like that? My mouth isn’t that generous. Obviously, if it tasted bad, I wouldn’t have kept eating it here for an entire week.”
“!”
Though her tone was still prickly, Rosette’s words carried clear sincerity. Praise always feels more vivid when it comes from an unexpected source. While it might not mean much from other customers, hearing such words from someone she had never imagined only made a deep impression on Angela.
After finishing her meal in front of the stunned girl, Rosette opened her textbook alongside a fresh cup of coffee. Contrary to her usual image as a spoiled brat, she had been studying diligently every day for the past week. Angela couldn’t help but feel inwardly surprised.
“What are you staring at?”
“Pardon? Ah… it’s nothing. I was just…”
“Just what?”
The question was quiet, yet carried a slight edge. Angela gave up on trying to change the subject and spoke her honest thoughts.
“It’s just that… the image I had of nobles is a little different from this. When I think of nobles, I only ever pictured them enjoying banquets in palaces and the like.”
The life of those with blue blood. In Angela’s mind, the lives of nobles had always been nothing but eating, drinking, dancing, and enjoying themselves in splendid banquet halls. Elegant and refined beyond measure—just like the life she had always longed for…
“Well, that’s mostly true. That’s how I usually spent my time too. This kind of behavior is actually quite rare for me.”
“I see! So nobles really are…! Mmm…”
Rosette didn’t particularly deny the “dream” Angela held. For a brief moment, the girl’s eyes sparkled with excitement, but she soon averted her gaze and quickly began clearing the dishes.
Then.
“By the way, are you free this weekend?”
“Pardon? Why are you suddenly asking…”
“Are you free or not? Just answer that.”
“…Um… I’m not. I already have a prior engagement that day…”
“Cancel it.”
“….Did I… hear that correctly?”
“I said cancel it.”
“…”
“Answer me.”
“U-understood.”
The prior engagement that day was by no means a light matter, but refusing could lead to who-knows-what. Feeling her insides burn, Angela had no choice but to accept.
Her “master” set down the empty coffee cup and said,
“Good. Then wait for me here that morning. There’s somewhere we need to go together.”
“Go together… Where exactly are you talking about?”
At Angela’s question, filled with doubt and anxiety, Rosette answered with a light smile.
“A banquet.”
“!”