An Opening to Escape
An Opening to Escape
There's an old saying.
Even if you enter a tiger's den, you'll survive as long as you keep your wits about you.
But if all you did was collapse and cry in that tiger's den, you would only become the tiger's lunch.
The point was that if you kept your wits about you and planned an escape route, you at least had a chance of getting away.
That was exactly the situation I was in.
What would happen if I burst into tears because three A-rank heroes had surrounded me? They would beat the shit out of me and drag me away.
But if I kept my head, I might make it back alive.
The power dynamic born from an information gap.
I decided to exploit that.
I knew who they were. They didn't know who I was.
This was crucial. It was the kind of advantage that could keep me alive.
Let's assess the situation.
The terrorist group had been wiped out, and Shadow Walker had easily subdued its leader. Monkey Spanner lay pinned to the lobby floor like a mummy, his hands, feet, and mouth bound.
Viewed that way, there was no problem. The problem was me.
A lunatic who apparently slaughtered everyone except Monkey Spanner all by himself.
Now here's the interesting part.
They could not touch me carelessly.
They still didn't know who I was.
They still did not know what I was capable of.
They could only look at the fallen terrorists and guess that I was extremely strong. They had no idea exactly how strong.
And the unknown could breed fear. What if I was far stronger than they thought? What if I could wipe out everyone here with a snap of my fingers?
There were also hostages here.
If I suddenly snapped and tried to kill the hostages, that would be catastrophic. Especially since they didn't know whether I was a hero, a villain, or simply a maniac.
Conclusion.
They could not touch me yet. They did not know my exact strength, and the hostages were still here.
That meant I could pull this kind of nonsense.
"Kids these days have no manners at all. Back in my day, when a higher-ranked hero passed by, you bent a full ninety degrees at the waist. That was how society worked. It was basic courtesy. But now these wet-behind-the-ears brats just stare up at me with their eyes wide open... Tsk. The world truly is ending. I may be, ah, operating overseas at the moment, but once I tell you I'm an S-rank hero, you should know to show some respect instead of speaking casually to me..."
"Excuse me."
While I was holding my grand festival of bullshit, Stardus cut me off.
"I just heard back from the Association. There is no S-rank hero overseas registered under the hero name you gave... Epemego, or Apple Mango, or whatever it is? What exactly is your identity?"
Huh. When had she managed to contact the Association?
Oh, right. All three had earpieces with direct lines to the Association President.
...And now that I thought about it, I had definitely chosen the wrong hero name. I had blurted out whatever first came to mind, and apparently the Mangostic Fandom had contaminated my brain badly enough to produce that catastrophic name.
Anyway, a first-rate villain doesn't get flustered by this sort of thing.
Could I move my hand? Yes. My hand moved again. If I held out just a little longer, I might even be able to teleport.
I curled my hand into a fist, slammed it against the armrest, and spoke. A first-rate villain had to shake the listener's mind as well. I doubled down once more.
"Look at these disrespectful brats. Of course you don't know me—I operate under a hidden identity. Did you think my personal information would be leaked that easily? Always so suspicious... And your Association President! I've eaten with him, drunk with him, gone to the sauna with him—we've done everything together, you punks!"
The three of them gave me strange looks. Hmm. Had that been too much of a stretch? Now that I thought about it, why would a young-looking man like me go to the sauna with the middle-aged Association President? He would deny it immediately anyway.
Even by the standards of a grand festival of bullshit, that was too much. I hurriedly added something to salvage the situation.
"...Oh, and did you know this? The Association President's name is Park Jun-ho, right? He changed it. His original name was Park Mak-chun. Our Mak-chun used to whine every day about hating his name, then quietly changed it behind everyone's back. Adorable. Adorable."
Stardus, who'd been listening, flinched as she heard something through her earpiece. She probably hadn't expected me to know that. Even in the Original Work, it had been world-class useless trivia, but I'd never imagined I'd get to use it this way.
Anyway, that sudden digression exposing the Association President's former name bought me a little more time. Good.
A moment later, Northern Sea Ice Maiden spoke up.
"No, how are we supposed to believe... you? You haven't given us any proof, and suddenly claiming you're an S-rank hero makes no sense... sir? You look like a villain to me..."
She trailed off.
Wait, she actually listened to all of that? What a nice girl. Stardus and Shadow Walker were no longer even listening; they were just watching to see how far I would take this. They looked at me like a grandfather watching his grandchild perform at a talent show. I knew I was running the bit into the ground, so please stop looking at me like that.
And thank you for the opening. Fuck it. The final stage of running a bit into the ground was going completely deadpan. Whoever got serious first won.
"Villain? Me? Hahaha."
Hahahahahaha.
"Hahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha!"
In a lobby filled with nothing but silence, I suddenly laughed like a maniac.
I had been spewing earnest nonsense only moments earlier, and now I was doing this, hoping it would make me seem even creepier.
And then—stop.
I abruptly stopped laughing.
After laughing into empty space, I suddenly lowered my head.
Then I raised it again, dropped my voice, and spoke quietly as though stating an obvious fact.
"If I were a villain."
"Every one of you would already be dead."
From atop the tower of chairs, chin resting on one hand, I delivered the words like a proclamation. Fuck. It was a little cringey, but I endured it.
The sudden threat made the hostages tense. Stardus and Northern Sea Ice Maiden took fighting stances, ready to protect them if a battle began.
Shadow Walker, meanwhile... simply stared blankly. He did not look as though he was thinking about anything. Then again, he could not die at night, so he probably had little reason to be nervous.
The atmosphere from moments earlier vanished, and the lobby became a tinderbox in an instant.
Everyone swallowed hard and tensed for a fight that might erupt at any moment.
I suddenly gave a hearty laugh and waved my hand dismissively.
"Haha. It was a joke. A joke. As if I'd threaten my juniors. Relax."
My mood shifted so abruptly that the two of them still could not get their bearings. The trick to running a bit into the ground was to keep raising and lowering the intensity until no one knew how to react.
Then Shadow Walker, who had been watching me blankly, quietly whispered into his earpiece.
"...Why don't we just attack him? Honestly, if the three of us jump him, I don't really see us losing. Let's just take him down and think about it later. If he's really a hero, we can apologize then."
Hey, asshole. I could hear every word. Every word.
Northern Sea Ice Maiden heard Shadow Walker through her earpiece and nodded eagerly, while Stardus shook her head. She was probably worried the hostages might get caught up in the fight. Sob. Stardus, you really were the only one for me.
I desperately pretended not to hear. If I let on that I had heard him, I would be in serious trouble. If I stood there doing nothing after hearing that, my entire "arrogant S-rank hero hiding his identity" act would collapse. But what if I snapped and fought? No, it would not even be a fight. If a battle broke out, they would beat me senseless and drag me away within five seconds. Anything but that...!
But my strength was already slowly returning. I'd stalled for quite a while. Good, an escape route had more or less presented itself. It was time to get out.
But before I went...
Hmm...
Since I had gone to all the trouble of playing a veteran hero, perhaps I should say what I wanted before leaving.
I cleared my throat, and while everyone's attention was on me, I quickly delivered what I wanted to say.
"Anyway, it was good to meet you rookie heroes. Your manners need work, but... let me offer some advice as a veteran. When you face a threat, don't run. Stand and fight. No matter how great the hardship or adversity, no matter how impossible victory may seem, don't retreat. You're heroes. Heroes who don't run..."
"...will always win. Calamity? Disaster? None of it matters. If you have the will—if you have the will—overcoming it is the easiest thing in the world."
I turned my head as I spoke, directing the final words at Stardus. When our eyes met, she flinched—or trembled, perhaps. Hmm. Was my sudden lecture making her wonder whether I might really be a hero? That would be good. Or maybe she simply thought I was an idiot. Tch.
Even better, my strength had returned.
Now then, time to bid farewell.
In other words, my opening to escape. My opening to escape.
"Well, my work here is done. I'll be on my way now. Take care. Adiós."
Saying that, I gave a small wave of my hand and abruptly teleported.
They looked very startled when I vanished... or did they? They did not actually seem all that surprised. Maybe it was my imagination. Either way, I was already standing behind Seo-eun and Soo-bin.
"Hup!"
I grabbed both of them and teleported to the car. I moved so quickly that no one could have seen us. Probably.
"Aaaah!"
Crash.
I barely managed to teleport us into the car.
But my strength gave out at the very end, and the three of us practically tumbled into the car. Sorry. I had used every last ounce of strength I possessed to get us there...
"Ughhh... big bro, are you okay?"
"No... I'm dying..."
I was literally dying.
I was about to lose consciousness. At this rate, I would be out cold for at least a week. I was fucked.
Before collapsing, I left one last will and testament... no, a message.
"Ugh... Seo-eun, delete all the hotel records and stuff right now. Things like CCTV, the guest entry log. If we get caught, we're totally fucked..."
"Got it!"
Collapsed across the back seat, I handed Seo-eun the laptop I'd brought over earlier and spoke.
"And Soo-bin... please drive us back to Seoul as fast as you can. The area is a complete mess because of the terrorist attack, so we should be able to slip away unnoticed. Hurry..."
There was no way those idiots at the Association had established a thorough perimeter.
If anything, the place would be chaos. Whenever the Association did this in the manhwa, I used to curse them out, but now their incompetence was surprisingly helpful. Thanks!
"Y-yep!"
Soo-bin grabbed the steering wheel in a panic.
Right. I had done everything I needed to do.
My consciousness was gradually fading...
There was no Fatigue Recovery Capsule or anything else nearby. In short, I was fucked.
"I'm... going to... sleep for a bit. So..."
After I said that, my consciousness finally gave out.
As I collapsed, one last thought crossed my mind.
Still, it seemed that I had somehow managed to get past them without exposing my identity, under the bizarre guise of an S-rank hero called Apple Mango.
Who could have known that the dog-and-pony show I'd put on merely to buy time would have such an unexpected effect?
Yeah. I could rest easy now...
***
[[Exclusive] Suspicion spreads that self-proclaimed S-rank hero Apple Mango is actually the villain Egostic... Association cautiously states, 'The possibility is strong, but we are still verifying the facts'... Netizens already 'half-convinced.']