Don't Follow Me to the Bathroom

"You always tell me to come to you."

Eve, whom I hadn't seen in quite some time, launched straight into complaining the moment she laid eyes on me.

"What, you want me to drag a kid all the way downtown? Doesn't it make more sense for you to come here?"

"Okay, that's actually a fair point."

"Dad!"

"Kabe, have you been good?"

Kabe, equally delighted to see her dad after so long, threw herself into Eve's arms. The smile flooding her face made it obvious the joy was completely genuine. Eve's own face lit up just as brightly, clearly smitten with the little girl clinging to her.

"Aigoo, you've gotten even prettier since I last saw you."

"Dad got prettier too!"

Eve peppered Kabe's cheeks with kisses for a good long while before setting her down and tugging on my arm.

"What?"

"Your ear. Come here."

I leaned in, and Eve whispered against my ear.

"Hasn't Kabe put on a little too much weight?"

"Hello~"

It was the same chicken shop where I'd bought a dozen birds just a few days ago. The moment I pushed the door open, the lady owner recognized me and beamed.

"Ugh, Yeonwoo. What is with the heating in this place..."

The blast of heat hit us the instant the door opened, same as always. I'd been expecting it, so it didn't bother me — but Eve clearly found it bizarre.

The owner greeted us as we stepped inside.

"You're back! Takeout again today?"

"Ah, no. We'll eat here and grab some to-go afterward."

"Got it! Have a seat!"

"Dine-in" was a generous term for a space that held all of two tables. The three of us claimed one of them.

"One green onion chicken, a cola, and two large draft beers. Beers first, please."

"Coming right up!"

The owner kept sneaking glances at Eve, tilting her head slightly before disappearing into the kitchen. People recognized Eve everywhere we went. So why did nobody ever recognize me? Weird. I'd been on TV plenty of times myself.

"So why'd you want to meet?"

"No reason. Just felt like it'd been a while since I saw your face."

"That's a pretty lame reason. What's so great about seeing each other all the time?"

Eve pouted, clearly unimpressed by my indifference.

"We're just catching up. Do I need a reason every time?"

"Well, no, but still."

"Draft beers coming through~!"

A can of cola with an ice-filled glass, plus two brimming half-liter mugs of beer, landed in front of Eve and me.

"Cola! Cola! Cola!"

"Hey now, Kabe. You have to wait."

I cracked the can and poured it into her glass, leaving a little extra room at the top so it wouldn't overflow, then drank what was left myself. Last thing I needed was Kabe spilling it everywhere.

"Here. Cheers."

Eve and I clinked glasses and drank. The second I set my mug down, Eve wiped the foam from her lip and asked,

"Did Keru make it back from the Underworld okay?"

"Huh?"

Come to think of it, Keru had only gotten back this afternoon. Nobody else should have known that. So how did she?

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That Keru came back. He only returned this afternoon. How'd you find out?"

"Huh? Ah — no, I—"

Eve suddenly started stammering. What was with her?

"That's not — I mean, Karin usually takes about this long when he goes to file his reports, so I just figured..."

Keru had said the trip ran longer than expected. And "longer than expected" was the kind of phrase you used when something had already exceeded the usual timeframe.

"Eve. You—"

"Chicken's up! Extra green onions, just how you like it!"

"Wow! Chicken!"

Whatever. Feeding Kabe mattered more than satisfying a little curiosity.

"Ma'am, you didn't bring the baby today?"

Come to think of it, the heating was just as toasty as last time, but I didn't see the baby anywhere.

"I did. Over on the other side."

At the end of her pointing finger sat a baby carrier, firmly strapped in place. And above it, every so often — a pair of tiny hands and feet paddling at the air.

"I completely missed that. Mind if I take a look? The baby's so adorable I came back just to see them again."

"Oh, of course! Go right ahead!"

Permission granted, I piled a generous helping of chicken onto Kabe's plate, then stood and walked over to peer into the carrier.

Ah.

The baby was awake.

A pair of pitch-black, bead-like eyes gazed up at me.

"Bah, baa, babaah!"

A hand no bigger than my palm stretched out, waving at me.

"Babubu, buuah, baah!"

"Um, would it be okay if I—"

"Yes! You can hold the baby!"

The owner answered before I could even finish asking, so I carefully lifted the baby from the carrier. A brand-new lower tooth was just starting to push through the gums, and the baby beamed at me with a wide, open-mouthed grin.

"Yeonwoo."

"Yeah."

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yeah."

"What did I just say?"

"Yeah."

"You're not listening, are you."

"Yeah."

I hadn't heard a word. Even after I sat back down with the baby in my arms, Eve kept talking at me about something or other, but none of it registered. Every last scrap of my attention was locked on the infant nestled against my chest. Too cute. Too precious. Too beautiful. Holding this baby, feeling ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that tiny body squirm and nuzzle against me — nothing else in the world could have mattered less.

"Mom."

"Yeah, Kabe?"

Kabe was the exception, of course.

"Is that a baby?"

"Yep. Super tiny, right?"

Kabe edged closer, peering at the infant in my arms with open fascination.

"The eyes look like beads."

"Yours do too. Like little red beads."

"Hehe."

Kabe reached out and gently stroked the baby's cheek. I didn't feel the need to warn her off.

"Cute."

"Right?"

"Mom, can you make me a little sibling too?"

...Huh?

We finished dinner at the chicken shop and bought twenty more birds to take home for the kids. Eve paid, then swept the entire order into her inventory and hauled it back without breaking a sweat. Why didn't I have something like that? So unfair. Seriously.

Since Eve was here, we couldn't gather everyone for a group meal, so I had Dusick and Sohee lay the chickens out in my living room and tell everyone to come grab one each. Eve and I headed into my office.

Eve and I sat facing each other on the sofa.

"You had another reason for wanting to meet today, didn't you?"

"Yeah. A few things, actually. First off — the ad contracts are signed."

Eve waved her hand through the empty air once more and pulled out a document envelope, sliding it across to me. A plain manila envelope. Wow. Hadn't seen one of those in a while.

"I'll give you the short version first. We signed with seven companies total. I picked mostly big corporations. There was one more that wanted to contract with you specifically, but I talked them out of it and got them to sign with us instead."

Hold on. What was that supposed to mean? Why did she get ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to decide I couldn't take a contract?

"Hey, why'd you tell them no? I would've done it! I can do ads, you know!"

Anger flared hot in my chest. Money mattered. Thanks to Eve, the funding crisis had eased considerably — but spare cash was the kind of thing you could never have too much of. And she'd just gone and decided that on her own...!

"You can't use magic. How exactly were you planning to shoot a commercial?"

Ah.

The anger deflated.

"Okay, fair."

"Anyway. Seven companies. Total contract value is seven hundred million won. We already received sixty percent up front, so that's four hundred twenty million. Split that in half and it's two hundred ten million each. Check the contracts."

There were seven contracts in all. The documents had been laid side by side when they were stamped, and the seal impressions carried across from one page to the next — proof these were the genuine originals, untouched.

"Done?"

"Yeah."

It took me a full hour to read through all seven. No hidden trap clauses to speak of, but one thing did sit wrong with me.

"'Demonstrate the advertised product at least three times per battle'... So how are you planning to handle this? Our kids are the ones who'd have to take those hits. The damage is going to be worse than you think."

"Damage? What damage? Just have the Mains take the hits."

"Having the Mains take the hits would work, sure, but—"

The kids would vanish. I could summon them again, yes — but they had personalities, Eve. They were living, breathing kids. Not consumables I could just throw away.

"Just summon them again."

If Seven disappeared... would I really be able to call him back?

"Alright. I'll think about this one some more."

This was my problem to solve. I handed the original contracts back to Eve and arranged to receive scanned copies by email.

"What else?"

"There's more. Kabe's identity paperwork is almost done. Age six. All that's left is the official registration, but..."

"Oh, finally."

"The issue is what to do about the parents. Registering her as an orphan would be the simple route, but..."

Make her an orphan? Absolutely not. That was out of the question.

"Just register her as my daughter. What's so hard about that?"

"I figured you'd say that. But there's one problem."

"What?"

Eve stared at me, then slowly dropped her gaze.

"If we register her as your daughter... well, the person you're seeing..."

What?

"The person I'm seeing?"

"Yeah. The person you're dating. Your partner? Your girlfriend? Boyfriend?"

"I don't have one."

What was she talking about? Of everything I'd heard so far, this was by far the most absurd. Only Keru and I knew the truth, but I had been a man, once. Enough time had passed since becoming a woman that living as one no longer felt strange. But not feeling strange wasn't the same as wanting to date a man. And she thought I had a partner?

"Of course I don't. Why would I be dating a guy?"

"You don't? Really?"

"I said I don't. I have zero interest in dating men. Period."

"Yeah? Then that hei—"

"Height?"

"—is such a waste. You're tall, you've got a great chest — why aren't you dating a guy?"

"That's my business."

And yet Eve's face had gone strangely, unmistakably brighter. Was I imagining that?

"So you're single right now, then?"

"Yeah. I mean — single, not single, there's nothing to even discuss. What are you talking about?"

"Good. That's all I needed. Anyway, I'll put her on your family register as your daughter. That okay?"

"That's fine. No problem at all."

If there was anything to worry about, it was the possibility of Kabe dy— no. No, no. Vanishing in combat. But I wouldn't let that happen. I would stop it. No matter what.

"Great. We'll do it that way. I should get going. Your fight with Aquamarine is in six days, right?"

"Yeah."

Eve stood up from the sofa and stretched with a long groan.

"You said you've already figured out her weak point, so I don't need to worry, right?"

"Right."

Eve turned and opened the office door. Just as she was stepping out, I tossed a line at her retreating back. Aquamarine might have told her — but given that girl's personality, I doubted she'd spilled every last detail. Which meant...

"Hey, come on, I wouldn't tell anyone to follow you into the bathroo— wait."

Got her.