The Chicken Party

I stared blankly down at Kabe, who was tearing into her fried chicken with fierce concentration. Once she'd finished and set the bones down in front of her, I absently picked one up and started picking off the leftover meat.

"Mommy, why're you eatin' what I already ate? Eat this."

Kabe picked up a drumstick and held it out to me. Nobody looks after Mom like her own daughter.

"No, you eat that, Kabe. Mommy's fine with this. There's still plenty of meat on it."

Her baby teeth weren't quite up to the job, so the chicken she'd worked over was half bone, half meat.

Ah, whatever. The kid already ate off it — so what?

I was picking at the meat with my fingers when I just stuck the whole thing in my mouth and started stripping it that way.

This was all Eve's fault. She should've known to get boneless. Who buys bone-in chicken?

I was starting to find her pretty annoying.

"And who do you think you are, grabbing a third drumstick? Put that down. Give it to Dusick, you brat."

Eve pouted and clutched the drumstick tighter.

"I like drumsticks."

"Who doesn't like drumsticks? Hand ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it over."

I snatched the drumstick from Eve's hand and passed it to Dusick. Still wearing a plastic glove, Dusick took it quickly and beamed.

"Thank you, Unni!"

"But I like drumsticks..."

"Dusick hasn't even had one. Eve, you're supposed to be the older one — when are you going to grow up?"

Eve stuck out her lip. I had no intention of letting her off the hook.

It was the night four days before we were due to leave hotel life behind and move into a studio apartment building in Gwangmyeong. Kabe had been watching commercials on TV and announced that she wanted fried chicken, so I called Eve.

And sure enough, about thirty minutes later, Eve knocked on our door.

Thus began a completely unprompted chicken party.

Keru came back in the middle of it.

"Ewuuueeiaaaoah?"

"Eve. Swallow first, then talk."

Gross.

I poured her a cup of cola. Eve took it, drank, and let out a loud puhaah as she exhaled. Disgusting.

"Where's Keru been, anyway?"

"Oh, that. He went to the Underworld to look into what a Shinsallang is."

I reached for another bone Kabe had set down, but she suddenly thrust her hand out in front of me. In her tiny, sprout-like fist was a piece of chicken nearly as big as her palm.

"Mommy, say aah~"

"Aah."

Kabe popped the chicken she'd so diligently torn off right into my mouth. Technically it was more chicken skin than meat, but I eat chicken skin just fine! I love it, even!

"Is it yummy?"

"Yeah. It's even better 'cause my daughter gave it to me."

"Hehe."

It wasn't a lie. It really was delicious.

I wanted to ruffle the hair of Kabe, who was grinning like a little rascal, but my hands were covered in grease and sauce, so I held back.

For some reason Eve was looking at me like she was about to cry, but — what? It really was tasty.

Do you even know how good chicken skin is?

"You eat lots too, Kabe."

"Okay."

"Anyway, Keru, keep talking. What's a Shinsallang supposed to be?"

"A magical beast that appeared during a minor dimensional war in Europe a few thousand years ago."

A few thousand years ago, minor, and dimensional war — those words do not belong in the same sentence.

"It was a beast that tore apart and killed a demon god who'd been trying to forcibly overturn the board. That's why it's called the God-Slaying Wolf — Shinsallang."

"Kabe, is that true?"

"I never did that."

"She says she didn't."

"That's how the story's been passed down, at any rate. After killing the demon god, it vanished immediately. There hasn't been a single trace of it since — I never expected it to show up like this, out of nowhere."

"Hmm... is that so."

I tossed the cleaned drumstick bone to Keru.

I know. I know I'm hard on Keru. But anyone in my position would understand. That thing genuinely needs to be hassled. He's a being that exists to be tormented.

"W-what is this."

"What do you think? A chicken bone."

"Why are you giving it to me?!"

"Payment for the errand."

"I went all the way to the Underworld to investigate, and this is my payment?!"

"Oh, is that right?"

I happened to be perched on the edge of the bed. I quietly slipped off my slipper, lifted my foot, and started grinding it down onto Keru's head.

"S-stop it, Mother!"

"Hey, Keru. It killed a demon god and vanished. No traces after that. Never expected it to show up like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this. The end. That's your investigation? That's what you came back with? Huh?"

"Th-that's—! Research on the Shinsallang ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was done far more extensively in the Light Realm than the Underworld, so there wasn't much material there! Eve, you say something too!"

Everyone's eyes turned to Eve. She scratched her cheek with her pinky, looking a little uncomfortable under the attention, and gave an awkward laugh.

"We've got more material than what Keru managed to dig up, sure. There are some legends that got passed down — that's how Frilly recognized a Shinsallang on sight. But we never found any traces of it either. These days it's pretty much treated as a myth."

"Hold on — my daughter's identity is a wolf and the one she calls Daddy is this—!"

"Daddy and 'this bitch' don't really go together, you know."

"There, there, Unni. Keru really did try his best, so please ease up. We can figure it out as we go."

Dusick gave an awkward smile and started kneading my shoulders. There, there, Unni, don't get angry. You'll get wrinkles. You need to take care of your skin. And just like that, the anger that had been building up melted away.

"Yeah. Dusick's right. It's not like Keru was off playing around."

"But look, while we're on the subject — this guy Keru has never actually taught me anything properly, you know? That balan—"

Ah. Dusick was sitting right here.

"Not that — I mean, during battles, the map? How you can zoom in, and when you zoom the magical girls' names come up, or you can place markers — he never taught me any of that!"

"W-well, Unni. There was a reason for that..."

"A reason?"

If Keru had said it I would've gone a reason, my ass — but if Dusick was saying it, there probably was one.

"Well... Keru probably didn't really know either..."

"Mother."

"What."

I lifted my foot, and only then did Keru sit up properly, looking at me with an extremely sorrowful expression.

"I have taught you everything I know. The things I did not teach you..."

"The things you didn't?"

"Are the things I don't know either."

What?

"Mother, think about it. Look — when it comes to this fight, most of our side's rules were created and approved by Lord Cyclone. And while that person was still around, our organization was thriving."

"That's true."

That was more than ten years ago — before the magical girls appeared. Back then, Mogumogu-dan was definitely doing well. They were on television practically every day, demanding surrender. They'd been charging forward with an unstoppable, invincible momentum... that was Mogumogu-dan.

"And then the magical girls... once this Eve here appeared, our organization never won another battle."

They got wrecked.

"Never won another battle..."

So they'd never won. Which meant...

"On top of that, after Lord Cyclone disappeared, every Mother who came after was so lacking in magical power they were practically frail. They'd produce a handful of Mains and then wouldn't even have the energy left to deploy."

"So?"

"They'd just go to the location, get swept aside and massacred by a couple of magical girls, the Mains would vanish, and then the Mother would barely manage to recover — or not quite recover — and collapse again. So of course they couldn't deploy after that."

"S-so...?"

"And among those magical girls, there's... well. Those two."

"Kack!"

Eve, who'd been gnawing on a chicken wing, suddenly started coughing and pounding her chest.

"F-Frilly and Aquamarine, you mean?"

"Yes, exactly. Those two... with the previous Mother caught between them... ahem."

Ah.

I knew what he meant. That story about how the previous Mother got so sick of being stuck in the middle of their love triangle that she retired.

"Anyway, after that sudden retirement, the organization itself was standing on the brink of life and death. And since she retired before a new Mother had even been found, of course there was no proper handover."

He wasn't wrong.

Tsk.

When he put it like that, I couldn't really argue. I could tell Keru had been doing his best in his own way, and Dusick had been working hard in hers. I was being a bit too hard on them. Maybe I should ease up.

But wait — then shouldn't Dusick have known, since she was supposedly in command? Did she not know either?

Anyway, that wasn't the important thing right now.

"But if Kabe is a Shinsallang or whatever — then what does that make me, the one she calls Mommy?"

"That is the mystery at present. Even if you ask Kabe, she doesn't give a proper answer."

"She's a kid, so that figures. Kabe, does anything come to mind?"

Having filled her belly to a reasonable degree, Kabe let out a tiny burp and grinned at me.

"Nope. Daddy, can I have some more cola?"

"Just a little. And you have to brush your teeth before bed, okay?"

"Okay."

Kabe picked up her cup, holding it precariously from underneath with her sauce-covered hands. She'd already had a whole cup of cola earlier and they were giving her more? Dads, I swear.

"Kabe, finish that and no more cola."

"Okay, I unnerstand."

Eve, who'd been watching Kabe drink her cola, turned her gaze back to me.

"Anyway, Mother."

"Yeah."

"When's the next fight?"

Hmm. I did need to decide that. But there was something more urgent.

"No. There's something we need to talk about first."

This girl thought she could just skate past it.

"What?"

Eve was looking at me with genuinely clueless, wide-round eyes.

Hah. This fox.

"Hey. Aren't you going to settle the advertising fees?"

"Ah, right."

"Ah, right? Ah, riiiight? You don't say a word so I have to bring it up myself!"

"The money doesn't come in until the contract's signed. Have you never had a real jo— ah. No. Never mind. Sorry."

This girl was looking down on me. I might not be able to talk about it here and now, but I used to do sales pitching government ministries.

"Hey. I may not look it, but do you have any idea how many years I spent rubbing shoulders with government people?"

"R-right... I know the gist of it. Sorry. That was out of line."

"Good. If you know, then watch yourself."

Eve was apologizing with what seemed like a genuinely sincere expression. When she apologized this earnestly, it was a little hard to keep being mad.

But what did she mean, she "knows"?

"Whatever. Anyway, once you sign the contract, show me a copy. And when the money comes in, show me the deposit receipt too."

"Why those?"

"Hey, do you have any idea how much I suffered from a badly written contract? Contracts need to be checked thoroughly. I need to look at it too, so make sure you get it to me."

"...Alright. Got it."

It felt a little strange having Eve agree so meekly. But she said she got it, so that was fine.

"Anyway, Keru — Shinsallang or whatever, report to me as soon as you find anything out. Eve, when does the production unit get installed?"

"This Saturday. It's scheduled for the day you move in. Could be as early as the evening before?"

"We'll need to do another production run then."

That was something I'd realized during the last fight. Commanding wasn't that hard. But I'd learned that if you were critically short on troops, command alone couldn't cover the gap. I needed to always, always maintain a baseline number of Mains. Produce plenty of Mains to serve as soldiers, and it would be nice to have more general-class units... units like Kabe.

"I've got some stuff that day, so I won't be able to stay with you."

I nodded at Eve's words.

"That's fine. It's our business, so we should start handling it ourselves. We can't lean on you forever."

"That's a good attitude."

"I'll keep leaning on your wallet, though."

Eve's face scrunched up, but when I grinned right back at her, she ended up snorting out a laugh herself.

Yeah. What are you going to do with all that overflowing money? Spend it on me. On me and Kabe.

But she's making a face? Huh? Now I'm getting mad.

"Hey, come to think of it — why aren't you paying child support?"

Eve's eyes went round.

"What child support?"

"Think about it. Kabe calls you Daddy, and I'm the one raising her all by myself. Shouldn't a father at least pay generous child support? That's the least a dad can do."

"Uh, uhh? I-is that how it works?"

Eve was so flustered her face started turning red. This was actually pretty fun. Eve was just so entertaining to mess with.

"How much should I be paying...?"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. What child support? I was just saying it."

"No, but still... if Kabe's going to go to school and all."

Ah. I'd been thinking about that but kept forgetting to bring it up.

"Yeah, that's right. We should send Kabe to school or kindergarten. What do we do about her identity?"

"Hmm..."

Eve thought for a moment, then scratched her cheek and gave an awkward smile.

"Well, I've always handled that kind of thing. I'll take care of Kabe's too. Wouldn't it be better to start her in kindergarten? Sending her straight to school would be a bit much."

"Yeah. That'd be better if ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠we can. Come to think of it, you made my identity too."

"I did. Keru told you, I take it?"

"Yeah."

I was actually grateful for that. Looking back now, I was newly aware of just how much of a f... how much of a hellhole my old company had been. Thanks to Eve, I'd gotten an identity that let me escape that f... that hellhole and live a stable life. I ought to be grateful.

"I am grateful for that, you know. If it weren't for you, I might still be wandering around in that hellhole. Getting treated like a zoo monkey."

If a man turned into a woman, of course people would find it fascinating. Being treated like a zoo monkey would be getting off easy.

"Th... yeah."

Suddenly Eve grabbed my hand tightly. Her eyes were welling up — what was she so sad about?

"Anyway, I really am grateful. Take good care of Kabe too. She's our kid, after all."

"That's right... leave it to me. I'll handle it perfectly."

"Yeah. I'll be counting on you, Madam President."

So Kabe would be able to start kindergarten now.

Kabe in a little chick costume... I was already looking forward to it.