The Best Mom in the World
Dense as I am, even I could tell something about this situation was deeply off.
Dusick was splitting Eve and me apart so obviously it almost hurt to watch.
"Dusick."
"Yes, Unni!"
Looking at that relentlessly sunny smile, I found I couldn't quite bring myself to tell her to scoot over for a second.
For all I knew, I was barking up the wrong tree.
"Hey, Dusick."
"Yes, Unni!"
"Could you go grab Kabe for me?"
Daycare hours were almost up, and someone needed to pick Kabe up. If we left it too late, she'd be off wandering around looking for her mom again.
"I-I'll go get her."
Apparently I wasn't the only one who'd felt the atmosphere take a weird turn.
Eve headed out with a visibly awkward smile, saying she'd fetch Kabe, and that left just Dusick and me in the room.
"Dusick."
"Yes, Unni!"
"Why are you..."
"Yes?"
"...Never mind. You worked hard today."
She really had. She'd ferried the Mains back and forth between the hotel and the Association more times than I could count, then stood by here the whole time in case anything unexpected happened.
"Aww, no way. You worked the hardest, Unni. It was only a mock battle, but how was your first fight?"
It felt like playing a game, so it was fun.
Even if I said that, it wouldn't land with Dusick.
"Well... as a boss, I felt this powerful sense of responsibility."
I was ready for something like, Wow, Unni, that's so cheesy! so I could laugh it off with an ahaha.
That was not the reaction I got.
Dusick clasped both hands together, eyes sparkling as she looked up at me.
"That's so like you, Unni... Taking care of your subordinates, looking after them... just like a mom..."
Okay. I did not expect her to interpret it like that.
"You worked hard too, Dusick."
I patted her on the head, and she twisted her hands together, even cocking her head along with them, soaking up every second of it.
Did it really feel that good? I should've done this more often. I had no idea she'd like it this much.
"Whew. What should we do for dinner? Should I make Eve treat us?"
"Ah—no!"
The delighted expression vanished like it had never been there. Dusick waved both hands in a panic, flapping them like a pair of fans. It was quite a performance.
"I'll cook something delicious for you tonight!"
"The kids all need to eat something good too, though. They worked hard today, for once."
"I'll handle that too...!"
"That's a bit much."
How was she supposed to cook twenty-seven servings by herself? That was asking too much.
"It'll be fine. Oh—perfect timing. Kabe!"
"Moooom!"
Kabe came toddling over at a full sprint. This kid—what if she tripped again?
"Slow down, slow down! Mom's not going anywhere!"
I crouched and held out both arms, and Kabe came flying into them at once. She'd been playing so hard that a tangy smell of sweat beaded up through her hair.
"Eve, was Kabe having fun?"
"Uh... well."
"What? Something happen?"
"No, not exactly."
"Magical girls have been around long enough now that some of them are married, you know. Oh, and obviously not every magical girl is a lesbian. That's just common sense."
"You, uh, don't really need to explain that part."
What group has an entire membership that's exclusively gay? I think I heard something like that existed way back in the Western world, but there wouldn't be anything like that now.
"Anyway, so the daycare takes in kids from the magical girl side and the regular staff's kids too."
Pretty impressive employee benefits.
"And naturally, a decent number of those kids are boys."
"And?"
"Well, our Kabe's got the looks to back it up."
True enough.
"So the boys were apparently taking a lot of interest in her."
"And?"
"One of the stronger boys decided that since Kabe was wearing a dress, that made it a princess dress, so..."
"Yeah."
It's a pretty well-worn observation—little boys who like a girl are too embarrassed to just say so, so they express that affection by picking on her. Most people have heard that one. Which is to say: he flipped up her skirt.
Most little girls would cry at that point. They'd bawl their eyes out and run to the teacher, or start crying for their mom.
"But Kabe didn't cry. She just stared the boy down."
"Oh my. And then?"
I had Kabe in my arms, patting her on the bottom, and she just nuzzled her face into my chest with a happy little giggle.
"And then, get this."
And she slapped the boy across the face.
"What?"
Wasn't that a line you'd only hear in a historical drama? You insolent thing? Good lord. You insolent thing?
"Kabe, did you really do that?"
"Yeah. He lifted my skirt. He's a bad kid."
"Eck—where did you learn to say that? You can't talk like..."
"Mommy says it to Ker."
That was me. She learned it from me.
"Ah—anyway, you can't say things like that. And you can't slap your friends..."
"He's not my fwend. He lifted my skirt. Not a fwend."
"That's... well, true, but..."
I was telling her not to hit her friends, but I didn't have much of a leg to stand on. I was the one who'd beaten people up at a police station and smashed a building, after all.
"Anyway, I already apologized, told them to take him to the hospital, covered the medical bills, and even left my business card in case anything comes up. So it's fine. Don't worry about it."
"I see."
"Boss."
"Whoa—you scared me! Dusick, don't just transform out of nowhere like that."
"Shall I gather the kids? I let them rest on their own, but given the time..."
I checked the clock. It was already past six in the evening. Their bodies would have cooled down by now, and after all that moving around, they'd be getting hungry.
"Eve—"
"Yeah, I already made a reservation. Let's go."
I gave Eve a thumbs-up as she smiled awkwardly back at me.
"Mommy, you can't dwink. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I won't."
"If you dwink again, you'll cwy in the bathroom again."
"Cry in the bathroom? Mommy? Why?"
"Daddy, you don't even know that?"
The restaurant Eve had reserved was, once again, a Korean beef place.
In front of a grill where the meat sizzled away.
This time the restaurant was divided into several tables, and among them, Eve, Kabe, and I had claimed the biggest one for ourselves.
"Last time, when Mommy dwank a whole lot, she cried and cried in the bathroom. Auntie Dusick kept hitting Mommy on the back."
"Ah..."
Eve nodded like she more or less understood.
You pathetic woman.
That was what Eve's eyes said, and honestly, I had no comeback.
"Go on. Pour me a glass."
"Is that a challenge?"
"I can hold my liquor. I'm fine."
"Here."
I picked up the soju bottle and filled her glass neatly. I wanted a drink myself, but if I had one now, one glass would become two, and two would become three...
"Unni, have a drink."
A soju glass was suddenly thrust in front of my face. Dusick was holding it out with a bright, sunny smile.
"Come on, Dusick. I quit drinki—"
"You worked so hard today. What's one glass? Just one. Kabe, Mommy had a tough day, so let's tell her she can have just one drink. Okay?"
Kabe tilted her head at Dusick's coaxing, thought it over for a long moment, then broke into a sweet smile.
"Okay! Kabe says it's okay!"
"See? Even Kabe says it's fine. Eve-unni, it's okay, right?"
"Huh? Uh... well, I guess it's fine...?"
Eve did not have the spine to say no to that beaming little face. Dusick knew that too.
Tch. Checkmate, huh.
Well. Can't be helped.
I took the glass, and the cheerful glug-glug-glug of the pour lifted my mood all by itself.
Eve had just finished paying and come outside, ready to start lecturing the transformed Dusick, who had Yeonwoo slung on her back.
"It's fine. If the Boss isn't going to drink on a day like this, then when will she? And as the Association President well knows, the Mother of Mogumogu-dan carries an enormous combat burden. She needs to recover her mental strength somehow."
"Well, you're not wrong."
Eve stepped up to Dusick and looked up at her. In her transformed state, Dusick stood nearly a foot taller than Eve was now.
A light silence settled between them. The Mains were heading back to the hotel in little clusters of friends, and before anyone noticed, the only ones left in front of the restaurant were Eve, Kabe, Dusick, and Mother—fast asleep on Dusick's back, dead to the world.
On the night street, darkness had settled thick and heavy, and the fluorescent glow of neon signs scattered into the air like something already forgotten.
It was a night stitched together from the bold, liquor-loose shouts of drunks and the honeyed voices of touts angling for just one more customer, and between Eve and Dusick the moonlight came down in a silver so cold it ached.
It was around then that Eve, who had been gazing quietly at Dusick for some time, finally parted her lips.
"Well. I think it's fine. These things happen. At least she didn't make a spectacle of herself in front of Kabe like last time. That's a relief."
"Yes."
"Alright, head in. Kabe, you hold Uncle's hand tight, okay?"
"Yeah, Daddy. Bye! See you tomorrow!"
"Association President, will you be heading straight home as well?"
"That's the plan. Tomorrow I've got to run around all over the place with you lot again. Busy day."
"Tomorrow as well?"
Had Mother not mentioned it? Well, there probably hadn't been time. Deciding it wasn't her place to explain, Eve just waggled her fingers in a silent goodbye and started walking.
Her figure melted into the darkness and was gone.
"Uncle."
"Yeah."
"Is Mommy okay?"
"Of course. Mommy's perfectly fine."
"She's not hurt?"
"Mommy... doesn't huurt..."
Had she woken up? But the even breathing that followed said otherwise. With one of her pot-lid-sized hands, Dusick held Kabe's, and with the other she readjusted Yeonwoo on her back, and she started walking.
"Kabe."
"Yeah, Uncle."
"Your mom is a good person."
"I know."
"She's too good for our organization, honestly."
"Organizayshun? I dunno what that is. But Uncle."
"Yeah."
"Our mommy is the kindest in the whole world. The pwettiest in the world, and I love her the mostest in the world."
Even as she walked, Dusick looked down at Kabe. Kabe looked up at Dusick. The two of them—the very picture of an uncle and a niece—grinned at each other.
"That's right. Kabe's exactly right. Your mom is the kindest, the prettiest, and the most loved in the whole world."
"You think so too, Uncle?"
"Yeah. Uncle thinks so too."
"Hehe."
It had been a fairly long Saturday. And just like that, that Saturday was drawing to a close.