Why Are We the Villains?
The hotel's family suite was spacious. It had four beds.
"Kabe, I told you not to jump between the beds. You'll get hurt if you fall."
I snatched Kabe out of the air midway through her leap from mattress to mattress. If this kid slipped and dropped into the gap, we'd have a real disaster on our hands.
"Mama, this is so much fuuun!"
Ah, right. Her pronunciation had been leaking a little, hadn't it. I'd meant to check her teeth back at Eve's place and then completely forgotten.
Might as well look, now that I'd remembered.
"Kabe, say ah."
"Don' wanna."
"Why?"
"Just don' wanna."
I was going to need a bribe. I dug through my pockets and came up with a piece of candy. Must have been the one Kabe had been holding when we left the motel this morning — I'd stuffed it in there without thinking.
"Come on, say ah. I'll give you the candy."
I unwrapped it right in front of her.
The candy was lemon-flavored, glowing a pale yellow, and Kabe's eyes lit up the instant she saw it. Adorable...
"Aaaah!"
"Good girl!"
I seized the opening, caught her lower jaw, and peered inside. One front tooth was missing. A lower canine was gone too. But the gum where the front tooth had been was already turning white — a permanent tooth coming in.
Was that normal at her age?
"Alright. You did a great 'aah,' so here's your candy."
I popped it into her mouth.
"Look at you. A few days in and you're already a full-blown mom."
"Not like I can deny it at this point."
Keru, who'd been sitting at my feet, let out a long groan and stretched himself to his full length.
"Hey, take it easy. You're shedding everywhere. I heard cat hair is bad for a kid's lungs. You want to sleep in the hallway?"
"C-cat?! I'm a panther!"
"A panther is just a cat someone deep-fried until it got huge, isn't it?"
"They are not the same!"
"You were a regular cat until you contracted with me and blew up like this. I watched the whole thing with both eyes wide open, you little—"
"Ahem! Ahem!"
I sat down at the table with Kabe in my lap, the candy working around in her mouth, and found myself sinking into thought.
The Magical Girl Regular Meeting had been yesterday. What I'd seen there had been genuinely shocking.
Nothing about that scene could possibly belong to magical girls who protected light and justice and kept people safe. They envied one another, treated each other as enemies, and handled the leader of a hostile organization like an object — like a tool for their own lust.
It was ugly, twisted evil, plain and simple.
And those people were the ones judged to be good?
Then why were we the ones judged to be evil?
I couldn't understand it.
"Keru."
"Yeah."
"Why are we the villains?"
"Where did that come from?"
"I went to the Magical Girl Regular Meeting yesterday."
"Ah. Ahh. I think I get what you're saying. And I can guess what you saw."
Keru sat back on his haunches the way a person sits cross-legged and scratched behind his ear with a hind paw. And he still claimed he wasn't a feline? He was a cat no matter how you looked at him.
"The magical girls these days are completely unhinged, I'll give you that. Lust, gluttony, greed, ambition. They're far too faithful to every appetite except sleep. Looking at them alone, you'd think they were the evil ones. But here's the thing, Mother."
"What."
"Is that actually bad?"
"What?"
"Every human being has desires, don't they? If you had a life where you could fulfill those desires and you still threw them all away, you wouldn't be a magical girl — you'd be a saint."
"Keru. Are you hearing yourself right now..."
I was speechless. Did he even understand what was coming out of his mouth?
Fine. I wasn't saying desire itself was bad. I knew that. People moved because of desire. They worked to satisfy it. They fought to protect what they'd already gained.
But that wasn't the problem.
"Is there a problem?"
"I don't get to have any of it, you little shit."
"Excuse me?"
"Think about it. I'm the boss of an evil organization and I don't get any of that, but those light-and-justice magical girls get wealth and fame and... anyway, they get all of it. And you're telling me that's not a problem? Are you out of your mind?! I don't get to have any of it!! Huh?! Every single thing I've spent money on so far has come out of my own pocket, you bastard!! No — wait — now that I think about it I'm actually pissed?!"
"C-calm down, Mother. That... is a problem, I'll grant you."
I huffed and puffed until I finally settled.
It wasn't that they were bad people. They hadn't obtained those things by doing anything wrong in the first place. We'd fought them and been utterly crushed, and they'd won, so they'd claimed the prizes.
"Anyway. I've calmed down. But Keru. There's still a problem."
"What problem."
"They beat us, so the government gives them prize money, and they get famous with the public, so they get honor too."
"That's true."
"But if we win, who pays us?"
"Huh. Good point."
I could not believe this idiot.
"When was the last time we actually won?"
"About ten years ago, I'd say. We haven't won once since Eve showed up."
"We've done nothing but lose for ten years straight?"
Playing a completely one-sided garbage game for ten years... looking at it that way, even the gods were practically saints. I'd have thrown the console out the window after a week.
"Still, good hasn't completely won yet. And from what Karin told me, your appearance seems to have lit the fire again. Apparently your rocket punch has become a catchphrase."
"My rocket punch is pretty cool, I'll give you that. Shouldn't you be going to make some kind of work report?"
"We lose every time. I have nothing to report."
"Ah. Fair enough."
I called Eve about dinner.
"I'm not eating with you, you idiot. You'll just try to get me to drink again."
"Oh, come on."
"Come on? Come on? Come ooooooooon??????"
"I said that because I don't remember."
"Eat with Dusick. I'm busy."
Would you look at that. She hung up before I'd even finished talking.
I was searching for Eve's transformation video to send her via messenger when a video file arrived from Eve first.
And then a tall, beautiful woman tripped over her own feet, crashed sideways with a tremendous clatter, and overturned a table. A one-woman disaster zone.
It was me.
And then the same tall, beautiful woman went tumbling across the floor with one of the Mains, knocking over several chairs in the process. Another one-woman disaster zone.
It was me.
I should quit. I should quit drinking.
No. Maybe I should quit living before I quit drinking.
"Unni, about dinner... oh my."
"Dusick..."
"Auntie Dusick, what's wrong with Mama?"
At the sound of Kabe's bright, clear voice, I reached out and pulled her into a fierce hug. She wriggled, giggling — Mama, that tickles — and the smell of shampoo rose warm from her hair.
"Unni, are you feeling alright?"
I'd been clutching my head, so Dusick must have worried I was sick. She laid a hand across my forehead. It was faintly damp and cool, and it felt wonderful.
But that was that, and this was this. I held my phone out in front of her.
"Ah, th-this... Unni Eve was up to something, and she was filming this..."
"You saw the whole thing too..?"
"I was right next to you...?"
"Why didn't you stop me..."
There was no point blaming Dusick. This was my own fault.
I was really quitting drinking. Doing that in front of Kabe — if it happened again, the only option left would be to end it all.
"Um, unni. What are we doing about dinner?"
Dusick slid her hands under my arms and hauled me to my feet. She was stronger than she looked. I had a full head of height on her, and she lifted me like I weighed nothing.
"Dinner. Dinner, huh..."
"If it's alright with you."
"I'm not really a pasta person."
"Neither am I. Do you eat gukbap? Something like sundae gukbap — the rice-and-soup kind with blood sausage."
"Huh? Sundae gukbap...?"
Transformed Dusick had the kind of energy that would order a bowl of gukbap and a bottle of soju and go kuaaah as she drank with the meal. Untransformed Dusick was blonde. Bright, gorgeous blonde, tied down in two pigtails. She looked like she ought to be cutting pasta or spaghetti or steak — the kind of blonde beauty gukbap wouldn't suit in a thousand years, let alone a hearty kuaaah. The dissonance of her suggesting we go eat gukbap was staggering.
Not that I was saying I wouldn't go.
"Soju..."
"No. Kabe is watching."
Low blow. I only wanted one bottle.
"Sojuuu!"
Yeah. That wasn't happening.
"I'll have the special offal gukbap."
"Got it. Excuse me!"
Dusick raised a hand and waved, and the ajumma taking orders came over — then caught sight of Kabe and her eyes went round.
"Oh my, the little girl looks just like her mama! And you look so young — you must've had her early, huh?"
"Haha... yes..."
"One special offal gukbap, and one sundae gukbap with extra sundae, please. Oh — do you have a kids' menu?"
"Nothin' separate for the little ones... want me to do a smaller broth and a bit less rice?"
"Yes! Thank you!"
"Sure thing. Just sit tight a minute."
Once the ajumma had gone, a wave of exhaustion rolled over me all at once.
I took a sip of the water Dusick had pushed in front of me and glanced at the television in the hall. The news looked like it was about to start.
Come to think of it, I had no idea what was going on in the world these days. I hadn't touched the news or the internet since I'd been on television.
Maybe I ought to at least watch the news...
That aside.
"We really do look alike, Kabe and I."
"The fact that you're only realizing that now is what's surprising..."
What was that awkward little laugh supposed to mean.
"Here we are. I put a little extra offal in the young mama's bowl, so eat up. I put the little one's in a regular bowl instead of an earthenware pot — it's still pretty hot, so be careful. And the student's is here."
"Thank you!"
"It looks so good!"
A rich, savory, spicy smell rose in warm waves from the table.
"Mama, what's this?"
"It's called gukbap. It's really good. I'll give you some. Blow on it — it's hot."
"Okaaay."
I mixed rice into Kabe's bowl, added a pinch of salted shrimp paste, stirred it together, and lifted a spoonful to blow on it. It would be hot. If she burned the roof of her mouth, we'd have a problem.
"Okay, say aaah."
"Aaaaah."
"There! Now you know how. You hold the spoon and eat it yourself. You can do it, right?"
She seemed to like the taste well enough. She chewed, nodding, and I figured it was time to try my own bowl — only to find that, for some reason, my broth had turned red.
"I made it. I have a secret recipe. You mix in kkakdugi brine — the juice from the radish kimchi — and then..."
Ah. Dusick, you've crossed a line.
I'm a white-broth person.
But she'd done it for my sake, following her own recipe, and getting angry about that felt wrong.
"R-right. Thanks. Let's eat before it gets cold."
"Okay~ Enjoy your meal!"
I love offal. That bouncy, springy texture, the flavor that wells up the more you chew — it's delicious.
A special offal gukbap, and she'd said she'd put in extra, too. Sure enough, when I lifted a spoonful there was more offal than rice.
I was just about to put it in my mouth—
"Puh-hack!"
It wasn't just me. Dusick was staring at the news in a daze as well.
W-when did I ever say that?