Do I Look Like a Total Pushover?
Do I look like a total pushover? Or was it that circumstances make the man?
A good environment and proper education. Quality food and a comfy bed.
Someone raised with warm family love has a high chance of growing up straight and true.
On the flip side: a shitty environment and dogshit education. A freezing bed and crap meals.
Most end up aggressive or full of resentment toward the world.
So what happens if their environments suddenly swap? The one from the good life drops into beggar hell, and the beggar climbs into luxury.
The answer...
"Depends on the person, right? Fuck."
Lounging on this fluffy bed, lost in thought—look at me, having these full-belly philosophical musings. A real philosopher, huh? No envy here.
Is this why rich assholes dabble in politics?
"...Young master. I've told you time and again, that kind of language isn't proper. Why on earth have you changed like this?"
The old fox bitch puts on her nauseating act, voice dripping with fake pity.
That thick purple powder caked on her eyelids and her wrinkled mug make me want to puke.
Every damn day with the gaslighting, and if I got a problem wrong, she'd smack my thighs as "punishment" while smirking. Now she's lecturing me?
And I'm lying here because of her.
"Hey, I told you to get out, didn't I? I'm done with your dogshit 'education.'"
"Please... pull yourself together. I know I pushed too hard with the lessons and hurt you, but haven't I come to check on you? It's all for your sake, young master."
This bitch pulling the gaslighting again. Can't even smile properly under all that makeup.
"Pushed too hard? Fuck, starving me for 12 hours over one wrong answer and making me hold my arms up—that's education? Spouting bullshit like it's high-class. Figures from a learned whore."
"Young master!! Calling me a whore—how dare you!! Ugh... I can't stand for this. As your tutor, I simply cannot let it slide."
Oh? Out comes the switch. Crazy bitch carries it under her skirt.
Do I look like a total pushover?
"Ellin—"
"Yes, young master!!"
In bursts my exclusive guard, Ellin. Golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes. Pretty face and a killer figure to boot.
Gonna seduce her for sure once she's older.
"Kill this bitch or drag her out. Your call."
"Understood!"
Shing—
I said kill, so why's she just pressing the sword to her neck?
Those round eyes screaming, you really want me to? Adorable.
"Eek!!! Young master, what is this?! Get that sword away!! How dare this lowly wench!!"
"...I'll go with killing, then."
"Eek!!"
She's swinging so slow she couldn't swat a fly, but the reaction's over the top.
So shocked her tit-padding pops right out.
Ellin's low-key enjoying it too—barely grazing her, lips twitching up just a bit.
Women are all foxes, I swear. Look at those trembling lips trying to play it cool.
"That's enough—"
"Yes!"
Thank god I have one real ally in this hellhole of a duke's estate.
Even if she'll be leaving soon.
"Auntie. Don't come back, got it? Show up again, and I'll kill you myself. With that sword you're eyeing like it's gross."
"You little shit!! I'll report this to the duke myself!! Born the third son, ignored and stuck in the annex... Eek!"
Crash—
This fucking bitch, who the hell you calling deaf?
My right hand's black flame dragon stirs, hurling the precious vase. No flowers, chipped as hell, but it was the only normal thing here.
"Get out. Snitch if you want, but show your face again and you're dead. Don't forget it."
"...You'll regret this!!"
Regret what? I said I'll kill you if you come back.
Should've at least grabbed her padding.
Guess I do look like easy pickings right now.
I haul my aching body up and check the mirror. Lustrous golden blonde hair, gleaming red eyes.
Handsome, cute face that'll make girls cry when I grow up.
Not ripped yet... but soon.
"Are you alright, young master?"
You'll be next soon enough, Ellin. I'll seduce you one day.
"...Thanks for the help."
"It's an honor, young master. Call me anytime you need."
Can't seduce her now.
Not 'cause I'm some virgin loser incel. No way.
***
The guy I possessed is one of the main villains from Knight of Pure Love.
Ashbal Grize.
Wondered how the surname sounded like "asshole," and his actions proved it.
Third son who skips his two older brothers to become family head. Then womanizer, drunkard, gambler, druggie.
Does every scummy thing even a kingdom's bastard wouldn't touch, all mixed together.
Nicknames like Stud Duke, Insatiable Noble Farmer, Noble Bat—straight-up third-rate porno titles.
Later clashes with the protagonist and heroines, gets his bad end.
Reading the novel, I figured he was just a small-time thug born wrong.
"Guess he had his reasons."
Before I realized I'd possessed this body, life was hell.
Like that purple-pen auntie said: not the main house, but a tiny room at the end of the annex.
Parents? Haven't seen 'em since I was three. Three maids "serving" me.
Ellin started recently—brings food, guards me, keeps me alive.
What do the maids do? Obvious, fuck. Giggle amongst themselves, kill time, sleep.
Dogshit bitches. You're fucked.
Before Ellin, I was grazing grass in the annex yard, eating the rotten bread those giggling sluts tossed me.
But why'd I start with that "privileged" bullshit earlier?
"'Cause I came from a dogshit environment."
Not even a basement apartment—full underground. Dad beat me daily so my kid body wouldn't stiffen up.
Unemployed loser. Fought with customers at the bar, got clocked with a bottle, died.
Read that novel a ton on my ancient junk phone, and boom—born as the villain.
Passed out from chew-mon auntie's beating, woke up with memories flooding in.
Ah, that asshole dad looked like mine too—wanted to beat him.
Noob using legendaries in noob tower. Hope he rotted in jail.
Anyway.
"This place ain't exactly privileged either, if you think about it."
Fuck, life's complicated. Didn't graze grass in my past life either.
"Still, living in a duke's house—if I play it smart, I can live decent."
Huge future value, that's what.
First, gotta crush those dogshit maids.
Make 'em squeal like ahn~ master.
***
What's humanity's most basic desire?
Everyone'd answer different.
But the common thread? Wanting to be better than others.
Richer than anyone... more talented... handsomer...
Slap that "better than anyone" on, and boom—self-esteem skyrockets.
"...Please. Water and bread."
"Ha! Why should I? Graze grass like always~"
But tagging that "better than" is fucking hard, so people fill the gap by comparing to others.
"...I'm the duke's third son. You know treating me like this is a crime, right?"
"Ha! We call you young master, feed you, clean up. Without me, you'd be dead already?"
So this maid bitch beats on the duke's third son and jerks off to being "above nobility."
"Don't know your place, you MZ-gen slut."
"Pardon?"
"Ellin. Beat this bitch."
"Understood!"
"What? What the—thwack—"
Thud thud thwack thud—
Damn, market day today? Fat from stealing my food—plenty to go around.
"Aaaah!! Ack!! Mercy!! Sorry, young master!!!"
Beating's too loud—can't hear her.
"Ellin—still got voice left. Keep going till she can't talk—"
"Yes, young master!"
Look at Ellin's specs. Wanna marry her eyes and pound her raw.
"Uguh guh—"
After a good thrashing, she's just sobbing unconscious-like. Like I warned: everywhere but the face, enough to move.
Otherwise she'd be dead from the beating.
"Stop crying, you cunt. Cry more and it's worse."
"Hic—"
Finally listens.
"Hey. How much've you embezzled?"
"Y-yes? Embezzled what.."
"Ellin—"
"3 gold per low maid!! Head maid's 10! Maids are 3!!"
Gonna die twisting your asshole.
"How much total you hoarded? Combined salaries."
"...Just over 100 gold."
Ha, crazy bitch is loaded. Fire tribe or some shit, fuck. 100 gold's ten years living easy.
"Spit it all out or die. And fetch the head maid bitch and the rest."
"What?! That's my savings from work!!"
"Work? Fuck, spiders breeding in my room—500 siblings now, slut. Food? Split Ellin's scraps. Can't you see I'm starved in my growth spurt?"
Whoosh—
Bare my gut: bony ribs, sunken stomach. For "not grown," those hollow cheeks scream malnutrition.
Knew it from past life, shit.
"Th-that..."
"Kill and loot you?"
"N-no!! I'll bring it!! Head maid and others too!!"
Maid bolts. Doesn't know the draft law—conscientious objector, figures.
"Young master... you sure this is okay?"
"...Huh?"
"Doesn't seem like something violence fixes."
My sweet Ellin sees me as a sucker.
"Don't worry. I'm no idiot. And bet she won't bring the money?"
"Pardon? But if not..."
"Wanna bet? She brings it, I'll do whatever you want."
"Worth betting?"
"Yeah. If not, you do one favor for me. Deal?"
"Just order me, young master."
Ha... pretty-eyed babe's got magic words.
"Scared?"
"...You'll ask something tough."
Says that but she'll do it.
*
"The young master said that?"
"Yes! She beat me black and blue everywhere!!"
Rebellion time already? Cycle's quick.
"Fine, she called us. Let's go. Knight or not, she's a temp commoner—won't dare hit me."
"Yes, head maid!"
Two maids trailing with smirks.
Excited at first to serve the third son, then bummed at annex skimpy support.
Taught 'em embezzlement and moneymaking—they turned into obedient puppies. Cute.
If caught, ditch 'em—didn't know their place.
They've probably saved a ton anyway.
'Wonder how to handle this one.'
Periodic rebellion—gotta respect the duke blood.
But gutless mutt barks without guts to snitch to the duke.
First time using force, but threaten duke report and she'll fold.
'Maybe write a book later. What Is Gaslighting?'
Decent cash, though gambling's faster.
Hustling along, spot young master chatting with the commoner knight at his door.
That pretty face you can't fake bloodline. The dull eyes of the unloved.
"You called for us, young master?"
Bet he'll whimper apologies like always. Gotta scold harder this time.
"Hey, you bring the money?"
...Did she just diss me?
"..No, of course not!! Talk to the head maid—you'll change your mind!!"
Why's this maid bitch hiding behind me? No manners.
"Told ya, Ellin? Time to grant your wish."
"...Nothing weird."
"Tch."
"Young master?"
Shooting some country drama. That's why the uneducated are hopeless.
Fake anger once, she'll tuck tail and whimper—be generous.
"You should've greeted us and stated business properly, young master! What rude behavior!"
Mix in gaslighting. Come on, eyes welling up, look at me...
"Rude?"
Hm?
"Look at this cunt's stink. Rude, huh?"
Why's she acting up?