A Toast to Misunderstood Honor
“Aaaargh—!!”
Damn, I should’ve asked to borrow an axe.
Sabre’s adjutant had shoved me forward, so the beheading began immediately. The Callista family’s treasured blade was only a dagger. It was supposed to be a clean send-off. Because of that, a clean decapitation had been impossible from the start.
The moment the dagger sank deep into Jupiter’s neck, he screamed and thrashed violently.
“You— you traitor—!!”
I clenched my teeth and twisted the hilt with all my strength. Slice. Crunch. The gruesome sound of sawing through solid bone and tough muscle rang in my ears. In agony as his living flesh tore apart, Jupiter’s legs kicked wildly at the dirt.
“Urk… ugh…! Spare… me…!”
It was tougher and took far longer than I’d expected. I pushed my weight onto the blade indifferently, driving it to the hilt and twisting again. Jupiter’s struggles weakened. Red foam bubbled from his mouth as his eyes lost focus and stared at the sky. With one final breath on the verge of snapping, he forced out his last words.
“Juno……”
Juno?
Oh. The original novel’s setting came back to me vaguely. Jupiter, Princess Juno’s cousin, had been a sub-male-lead character who secretly loved her. The cousin-incest vibe of his one-sided crush had split the readers’ opinions.
If I don’t focus on stuff like that, my hands will shake.
I wrenched the dagger hard where it had caught on bone and finished the cut.
Thud. Roll, roll.
The severed head finally tumbled across the dirt and stopped at the feet of Sabre’s adjutant. The metallic stench of blood washed over me.
…It’s done.
On the outside I calmly shook the blood from the blade and slid it back into its sheath. I almost puked. Jupiter’s blood, mixed with the cold sweat on my palms, thinned and dripped.
“……”
The adjutants who had tried to test me stared back and forth between the severed head and me, struck speechless. The decisiveness of slaughtering an enemy royal without hesitation. It might even have looked like madness.
The bridge back to the Utopia Kingdom had now collapsed. I, Lassen, had become Valerian’s spear.
“I’ll take my leave first.”
I gave the adjutants one cold glance, then turned without another word and walked toward my tent. It was only the death of one royal from a kingdom already doomed to fall. To survive, I would have to be capable of far worse. Only then could I stay alive on this battlefield.
That night, a messenger arrived at my tent summoning me to the supreme commander’s pavilion at the center of Sabre’s main camp.
“General Lassen. The Supreme Commander requests your presence in secret.”
At this hour?
I threw a coat over my light clothes, questions swirling in my mind. Ever since Jupiter’s execution, the way the Valerian camp treated me had changed subtly. Contempt and distrust had faded, replaced by fear and awe. Still, Sabre had never called for me during private hours.
When I reached the pavilion, the knight guards silently uncrossed their spears and stepped aside. I lifted the heavy leather flap and entered.
Inside the dim tent, a single small candle on the table flickered precariously. Across from it sat Sabre.
“You’ve come.”
I offered a light bow and cautiously took the seat he indicated. On the table rested two roughly crafted yet finely detailed silver cups and a round clay bottle.
“The moon hanging in the sky the night you became my spear looks exactly the same as tonight’s sky.”
Sabre poured a clear liquid into the cup before me. Glug, glug. The sharp scent of strong alcohol stung my nose.
“And so we sit alone like this, sharing a drink for the first time.”
On the battlefield, liquor meant far more than alcohol. Grain fermented and distilled into spirits was an extreme luxury; one bottle required wasting enough bread and water to feed dozens of soldiers many times over. Such a thing was strictly forbidden where supplies meant survival, yet—
“One of the few privileges of the supreme commander’s seat is permission to enjoy these two cups.”
Sabre filled his own cup and offered a faint smile. “The only side dish is this old knight’s coarse voice, but please accept it.”
I swallowed hard and carefully lifted the silver cup with both hands. Cold metal touched my fingertips; the sharp reek of liquor filled my nose.
“It is an honor, General.”
I answered respectfully and extended my cup. Clink! The silver cups met with a clear ring. Sabre merely wet his lips and set his down.
“First, I must apologize.”
The unexpected words left Sabre’s mouth. “For what happened today. For forcing you to take the life of a Utopia royal with your own hands… I apologize deeply.”
His expression was genuinely sorrowful, like a master who had forced his cherished disciple to commit an atrocity.
“I know full well how cruel it is to stain the hands of a man who values loyalty and honor above life with the blood of the royal family he once served. However…” Sabre clenched his fist. “The distrust and hostility toward you within the Valerian military could only be quelled this way, and it was the sole path to truly saving you. Even so, I could not stop the adjutants. Forgive my incompetence.”
Huh?
I kept a pained expression on the surface and lowered my gaze, but inside my mind filled with question marks. It wasn’t that hard… well, the beginning was easy enough. Honor? Loyalty? I didn’t give a damn about any of that.
What exactly does this old man think I am? He clearly sees me as some tragic knight who, even while grieving the loss of his homeland, shed tears of blood for the greater cause and swung the sword anyway.
I forced a bitter smile and downed the liquor in one go. The burning spirit scorched down my throat. Shit, that’s brutally strong.
I fought back a cough and answered as if it were nothing. “Proving that the General who trusted me and placed me at the vanguard was not mistaken—that is simply what I, as a knight of Valerian, must do. Please do not concern yourself.”
Sabre’s eyes trembled at my reply. He gave a bitter smile and nodded, then let out a deep sigh and turned toward the tent entrance where moonlight leaked in.
“Before the war began… my one lifelong wish was for war to break out.”
A confession from the past flowed from Sabre’s lips. “The territory and honor of the Callista family that was unjustly stolen by the Utopia Kingdom. Only war could reclaim them.”
The long history between Valerian and Utopia, and the grudge held by Sabre’s house.
“I incited the hardliners of Valerian until war finally erupted. Yet even as victory reports piled up, I found myself wishing for an even greater war.”
Sabre looked straight at me and lowered his voice. “I wanted to crush the Utopia Kingdom quickly… then turn my spear toward the rotten Valerian royal family that had placed our house on the front lines and mocked us from safety.”
…Excuse me?
I nearly spat out the liquor still in my mouth. Wait, turn your spear on the Valerian royal family? That’s treason! A coup!
Why is this old man confessing such a massive secret to me? I’m just an ordinary guy who surrendered to survive—why are you telling me about overthrowing the state?! Won’t they have to silence me now that I’ve heard this?!
My heart hammered wildly. I hurriedly lifted the cup again to hide it.
“However.” Sabre continued. “The day you appeared leading a detached force and gave me my first taste of defeat… my wishes began to fade one by one.”
His eyes grew distant—almost disturbingly so. “After that day, I no longer longed for more wars, wider lands, or the lives of a corrupt royal family. I wanted only to fight you. How could I break the holy spear? How could I surpass the warrior called Lassen?”
Listen, the Lassen you knew doesn’t exist anymore…
I screamed inside and took another drink. His obsession felt suffocating.
“Yet the more I crossed blades with you on the battlefield, the more defeats I suffered… the desire to burn everything away gradually cooled.”
Sabre barely wet his lips again. “It changed into a fleeting wish to set everything down and simply share a drink with you. Isn’t it ridiculous? A man obsessed with revenge, now waiting for the war to end just so he can drink with an enemy general.”
It’s not funny at all, General. I’m terrified.
“So when you pressed your forehead to my feet and spoke of surrender…” Sabre’s eyes narrowed. “I could have granted that long-cherished wish of sharing a drink with you that very night. But I endured for a full month until the next full moon.”
He stared into my eyes. “A postponed wish settles more calmly while the moon wanes and waxes… During that month I had time to deeply consider why a man who valued honor above life would choose such a shameful surrender.”
Certainty crept into Sabre’s voice—ominously so. “You and I are strangely alike.”
We are not. Not even close.
“Even if this war ends in victory for each side, the war between us two will never truly end.”
Sabre tapped the table. “Our fallen Callista family will reclaim the lost lands taken by Utopia and reach a compromise with the Valerian royal family, preserving our lives—as royal dogs wearing collars.”
He exhaled heavily. “But you? A commoner who rose through martial skill alone—if you had remained in Utopia, would the jealous nobles have left you untouched once rewards were distributed? You had no backers in that kingdom. You would have been framed for treason and executed alongside your men.”
Surprisingly, Sabre’s political analysis was accurate. It matched the context of why Lassen had died in the original story. They had simply thrown him into a doomed operation so they wouldn’t dirty their own hands, letting Sabre kill him.
But the conclusion Sabre reached next was the real problem.
“Therefore you must have decided. To save the lives of your hundreds—your thousands—of direct subordinates… those innocent soldiers. To bear every disgrace and humiliation alone and surrender to me. Am I wrong?”
His eyes already brimmed with infinite respect, trust, and kinship. A noble commander who willingly dove into a cesspit to save his men. That was the reason Sabre had spent a month carefully deducing for my surrender.
“……”
I was speechless. No! I did it because I wanted to live! Because the guillotine blade looked too scary and I slammed my head down! My subordinates? Honestly I don’t even remember most of their names! We’d barely met!
Ten thousand grievances and truths boiled inside me, but my lips remained sealed. The moment I spoke the truth, this blind goodwill would turn into icy contempt and betrayal, and my head would roll.
I steadied my trembling hands with everything I had and answered in the calmest, most indifferent voice I could manage.
“……I did not hold any such grand intention as the one you imagine, General.”
Please stop romanticizing this!
“Lift your head, Lassen.”
Sabre reached across the table and gripped my shoulder heavily. The warmth from that thick hand nearly drove me insane.
“There is no need for shame. If I were in your position, I would have made the exact same choice to save my own vassals. You are my one and only true friend.”
…I’m losing my mind.
I gave up on everything, tipped the silver cup, and swallowed the last drops. Fine. Misunderstand all you want. Since it’s come to this, I’ll ride this massive wave of misunderstanding all the way to the end and survive.