Pushing Away
Alice sat at the breakfast table with her family. Every manner of lavish dish crowded the surface before them.
"..."
"..."
"..."
For all the abundance on the table, the atmosphere was anything but bright. Silence hung over them, broken only by the occasional clink of dishes against porcelain.
It was a scene all too familiar to Alice. Ever since they had lost her older sister, the family had been stripped of every last scrap of its vitality.
Today would end without a single word spoken, too. That was what she thought.
"Alice."
"..."
"Alice."
"H-huh?"
Her mother set down her spoon and called her name.
"I've been hearing some unpleasant rumors. You are living properly, aren't you?"
"Rumors?"
"Don't play dumb."
Her mother snapped at her in that sharp voice of hers, same as always.
"I hear you're not studying at school, and you've been fooling around with some boy."
"..."
"Do you have a brain in that head of yours or not? Don't you feel even a little sorry toward your sister?"
Her sister's death. It had to be a painful memory for her mother, too. So how could she use it so casually as a weapon against someone else?
Alice didn't get angry. She had learned a long time ago that it wouldn't change a thing.
"If you're going to fool around, at least do it with someone of your own standing, hmm? Running around with some beast you picked up off the street..."
That should have been the end of it. And yet.
"...Take that back."
"...What?"
"I said take that back."
This time, she couldn't let it slide. Not when it was that hopelessly innocent friend of hers being insulted.
"Don't talk about Ryuzaki like that."
"..."
"You don't know a single thing about what kind of person he is."
Her mother's eyes trembled. The fists in her lap clenched tight.
"What... what kind of way is that to talk to your mother?"
"You were the one who spoke badly first."
"...Have you completely lost your mind? Just because you've grown a little, you think you can—!"
Just as the air was about to boil over, her father — who had sat in silence the entire time — raised a hand, as if to say that was enough.
Her mother's flushed face closed its mouth at last. She shot the occasional displeased glance across the table, but that was all.
Once the atmosphere had settled, her father spoke.
"My daughter. It seems you've made a new friend."
A warm voice, as if kindness itself had taken shape.
"...Yeah."
"What kind of friend is he?"
"...He's smart, and reliable, and well-mannered, and he knows how to apologize, and he's overflowing with a sense of responsibility. I like him. That's all."
"Is that so? My daughter has made a good friend. That makes your father happy."
He gave a small nod.
He had always been warm toward her. Affectionate, and kind. The kind of father anyone would call ideal. But every now and then, that same father sent a chill crawling down her spine.
"I'd like to have a talk with this friend of yours. Would that be all right?"
Just like now. It was the same warm, gentle voice as always. And yet, somehow, a cold sweat ran down her back.
"...No. You can't."
Alice shook her head at her father's question. He was the team leader of the Public Safety Management Division in Academy City's Special District. If he ever found out Ryuzaki's true identity, it would not end well.
"Don't meet him."
"..."
"And don't go digging into his background, either."
Her father remained silent, gazing at her with that same gentle look. Swallowing hard under that gaze, Alice went on.
"If you lay a hand on Ryuzaki... I don't know what I'll do."
Even she thought it was a bratty thing to say. And yet her father's smile did not waver in the slightest. He simply stroked her hair, same as always, and said,
"All right. If that's what my daughter wants, I understand."
"...You promise."
"Of course."
"W-wait. Senpai. Are you serious?"
Lee Sae-ah, of all people, inviting someone into her home. And not just anyone — me, the delinquent merchant she despised so much. I never would have imagined it.
"..."
She didn't answer my question. She simply led me onward in silence.
Stepping into the shrine residence, I was met with the interior of a traditional Japanese home. It was a rather novel sight. Every building in this area was modern, after all. This was the first time I had ever set foot in a place so steeped in that distinctly Japanese atmosphere.
A faint trace of Lee Sae-ah's scent had seeped into every corner of the house.
She sat me down in the living room and briefly left, then returned before long with a first-aid kit in her hands.
"Please do not misunderstand."
She spoke as she deftly pulled items from the kit.
"If you miss school on account of your injuries, the amount of work that falls to me will increase."
"You could just say you don't want to owe me."
"That is also correct."
Lee Sae-ah wiped away the blood and disinfected the wound.
"It is advantageous to settle one's debts as promptly as possible."
"You don't have to think of it as a debt."
"If I perceive it as a debt, then it is a debt. I am doing this for my own peace of mind, so please do not concern yourself."
The first aid was finished in no time. Her hands moved swiftly, without a single hitch — like watching a seasoned nurse at work.
Noticing my gaze, she spoke evenly.
"I was clumsy with my hands, so I used to cut myself often when I cooked as a child. Treating the wounds myself over and over, I grew accustomed to it."
Ah. So that was why she was so practiced.
"You must like cooking, then. You've been at it so diligently since you were little."
Speaking of cooking, I remembered how she had flinched when I complimented her lunchbox once before. Ah. I might have just put my foot in it.
"Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
Just in case, I apologized first. Lee Sae-ah paused for a moment, then continued treating me.
"You still remember that incident. It has already been several weeks."
"Well, yeah. I guess so."
She gave my forearm a light pinch. It was barely enough force to even call it painful.
"Was my braised tofu truly that salty? Salty enough to leave such a lasting impression?"
"Ow. That hurts, Senpai."
But I knew it was her own awkward way of trying to ease the tension, so I made a show of fussing over it.
"I do not particularly enjoy cooking."
"..."
"It is simply that my mother has been somewhat unwell since I was young. I have been preparing my own meals since childhood."
Not a skill she had learned because she wanted to, but one she had acquired because she had to. I had plenty of experiences like that myself, so a strange sense of kinship stirred in my chest.
"That's a sensitive topic. Thank you for telling me."
"It is fine. It was a long time ago."
Having finished the treatment, Lee Sae-ah wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand.
"Fortunately, the wound is not deep, but I would recommend stopping by a hospital afterward, just to be safe."
"Thank you for looking out for me."
"I was not looking out for you. I am the one who would be inconvenienced if you were to collapse."
"That's what looking out for someone means, though."
"..."
The way she deliberately avoided my gaze was rather adorable.
I should get going. I had finished what I came for, and lingering any longer would be rude.
"Well then, I'll take my leave. I've taken up far too much of your time. You shouldn't leave the shrine unattended for too long either, Senpai."
I gave a light bow and rose from my seat.
That was when a warm sensation coiled around my wrist.
I slowly lowered my gaze. Lee Sae-ah's pale white hand was gripping me.
She hesitated for a moment — she seemed to have realized what she had done a beat too late. But she did not let go. Averting her eyes, she spoke in a small voice.
"...No. Please rest a little longer before you go."
Lee Sae-ah was holding my wrist. Telling me not to leave.
I widened my eyes at this so uncharacteristic behavior, and she tilted her head as if puzzled.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"...The atmosphere feels different from usual."
"From usual?"
"Well, how should I put it. Always cold. Aloof. Heartless?"
"What do you take me for, a witch?"
"Something along those lines— aaah. Ow. Ow."
Her nails dug lightly into my wrist.
"I believe I have a rather clear picture of how you see me."
"I'm joking. It's a joke."
"Yes. I am aware. Still, please wait just a moment."
I had no choice but to sit back down.
"There is something I need to tell you."
"..."
"I shall bring something to drink, so please wait a moment."
With that, she headed for the kitchen. I watched her shrine maiden robes sway with each step.
What could she want to talk about?
Something about the student council? Probably not. There would be no need to discuss that at her own house. And I couldn't see her suddenly bringing up something dark like family matters, either. It definitely wouldn't be anything with a rosy, romantic air to it. Lee Sae-ah wasn't the type to start that kind of conversation in the first place.
"Thank you for waiting."
A brown-tinted tea and a plate of white rice crackers were set on the table. I took a small sip. Barley tea. The coolness of it was pleasant.
"The tea tastes good."
"I appreciate the compliment."
"..."
"..."
A brief silence fell. I didn't open my mouth. I looked at her for a moment. Her hands were trembling, ever so slightly.
She seemed to be wrestling with something. Whether she should say it or not. I gave her all the time she needed to think it through.
How much time passed?
"Kohai."
"Yes."
"...From now on."
Lee Sae-ah, who had kept her mouth shut for so long, finally spoke.