Chapter 81: What I Lost, What You Lost (4)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 81: What I Lost, What You Lost (4)
— One-coin?
Of all things, how could the first words I hear when contracting with an artifact be “One-coin”?
The Lucky Double Coin.
The reason I hadn’t been able to form a contract with this artifact, which I’d snatched after beating the Academy’s Golden Goblin, was simple.
The condition for the contract was to die after giving your absolute all to something and failing.
I mean, think about it.
The condition itself is so vague and ambiguous.
Giving my all? I have no idea where the line is drawn for what counts as “giving my all.”
If I thought I did my best, but the artifact went, “In my eyes, you weren’t actually giving your all!” and let me stay dead, it wouldn’t just be a bad joke. Besides, with my knowledge of the original work, there were hardly any situations dangerous enough to actually kill me.
Well, anyway, thanks to this… it feels weird to say it like that, but I guess I’ve finally formed the contract.
Since it’s the first time, I can’t revive instantly; it’ll take some time to recover. But since it’s an artifact that heals all wounds, I could afford to wait that long.
By the way, now that I’ve actually died once, I’ve calmed down enough to think clearly.
Isn’t this a bit strange?
Was this really something to get that angry about?
I mean, unless you’re a psychopath, getting angry is normal, but it’s debatable whether it was worth losing my reason to that extent.
Under normal circumstances, wouldn’t I have handled it more coolly?
And the fact that I fought so well in that enraged state—so well that it’s hard to believe I did it myself—is also suspicious.
It feels a bit unsettling to just chalk it up to being close to Professor Cathy and being pissed off.
Right. Now that I’m calm, I realize the part that triggered my fury wasn’t when I thought the Professor was being brainwashed. It was after I saw that black thing swallow her.
Ah, right.
Surprisingly, just thinking about that black thing again caused a strange surge of anger to bloom in my chest.
What should I even call this?
It feels like something is on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t quite grasp it.
Beyond this strange sense of déjà vu, there is only a lingering unpleasantness and an inexplicable rage.
However, that unpleasantness didn’t feel unnatural at all.
Is this how a person with trauma reacts when they unexpectedly encounter the source of their trauma again?
It felt as if I had suffered some great calamity because of that thing.
A bizarre sensation where I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I know what kind of thing it is.
One thing was certain: that black thing was definitely not something pleasant to me.
“Are you alright?”
Hmm?
While I was checking my own condition, a voice suddenly called out.
This place isn’t exactly the afterlife; it’s more like a space within my own mind. So, if any of the artifacts I’ve contracted with have a consciousness, they could talk to me. But none of my contracted artifacts had a voice like this.
When I turned my head to check, I saw a woman I had never seen before.
“Foolish child. You wouldn’t listen when I tried so hard to stop you, and only now can you hear my voice?”
In a situation where the other person is clearly worried about me, would it be okay to ask, “Excuse me, but who are you?”
She had golden hair tied in twin-tails, slightly sharp eyes, and glowing golden pupils. She was incredibly attractive, but for some reason, looking at her didn’t stir any particular thoughts.
“Hmm? Why are you looking at me like that?”
As she spoke, her tail curled into a question mark as if she were puzzled.
Wait…
A tail?
A golden hoop on her head and a tail adorned with gold ornaments.
A certain monkey tried to pop into my mind, but I hastily denied it.
No way? It can’t be. That’s too much of a stretch since it never appeared in the original work. Besides, I already saw her true form when I was taking the Trial. It can’t be that.
“Ah, how is this appearance? According to the knowledge that flowed into me when I synchronized with you last time, this kind of look seems to be popular in stories these days.”
It is her, isn’t it?
“It is not my first time taking the form of a woman, but this hairstyle is a first. Pigsy would probably like it.”
Holy shit. It really is her.
Back then, when I connected with Sun Wukong, the principles of her techniques and such had flowed into me, but I didn’t realize she could see into my head as well.
And even if you did, why on earth did you have to look at that kind of knowledge?
“Um, by any chance, are you Sun Wukong? The Macaque King? Or the Great Sage, Heaven’s Equal?”
“Hmm? Surely you can tell just by looking.”
She wagged her tail as if asking why I was posing such an obvious question. It was quite provocative, but… tell by looking? How?
I wouldn’t have had a clue if it weren’t for the Golden Hoop and the tail.
“Can you not just look at the essence rather than the outward appearance?”
Ah, come to think of it, Sun Wukong from Journey to the West possesses the Fiery Eyes and Golden Pupils, which are said to give the ability to see through to the essence of things.
My head was starting to ache.
“Hmm, seeing your reaction, I suppose you don’t like it. I quite took a fancy to it myself.”
“Don’t you feel embarrassed? It’s basically cross-dressing.”
“Most deities born from the stars have no fixed gender. We simply choose the side we wish to live as.”
So that’s how the setting works.
I didn’t really want to know.
“Well, to be honest, I haven’t really tried to take a form like this until now, but it is quite fun once I try it.”
It was cute to see her wagging her twin-tails or fiddling with them as if she liked them, but knowing the “inside” was Sun Wukong made it a bit awkward.
“Anyway, I see you haven’t died, but how long will it take for you to resurrect?”
“It shouldn’t take that long. Five minutes at most.”
“Hmm, at least we have enough time for a conversation. Why were you so agitated just now?”
“To be honest, I don’t know either.”
“Hmm? Ah, I see. So that’s how it is.”
Wait, I just said I didn’t know. Why does she look like she realized something?
“Listen carefully to what I am about to say.”
“Pardon? Yes.”
“Do you recall ever hearing the word ■■■■?”
“What? What was that? The pronunciation was so garbled I couldn’t hear a thing.”
“Hmm, it seems I was right. Occasionally, there are children like you.”
“Could you please not just satisfy yourself and let me in on it too?”
“Hmm, it is not a matter of whether I can tell you or not; there is simply no way for me to make you hear it.”
Regrettably, it seemed to be the kind of story that had some sort of restriction.
You know, the kind often found in novels where you can’t hear something if you lack the qualifications or aren’t ready.
“You accept things quite easily, don’t you?”
“I’ve spent a long time reading novels, you see.”
“Novels? You mean those stories that were in your head? They were quite interesting.”
…Wait. How much did she read? I’m suddenly feeling very embarrassed.
“Do not worry. I did not read anything particularly shameful.”
Ah, thank god.
“However, those comments you occasionally left, like ‘So-and-so’s waist bent like a bow’ or ‘Baby mamma dispenser,’ seemed rather vulgar. It would be better if you did not post such things.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I thought you said you didn’t read anything shameful!
* * *
The bleeding had stopped.
However, Cathy knew all too well that this was by no means a good sign.
Dilated pupils and a body growing cold.
When she touched him carefully, he was still soft, but his muscles were beginning to stiffen. Every piece of evidence pointed to the fact that the man in her arms was dead.
This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t.
“So-hyun. You’re joking, right? You’re going to wake up, aren’t you?”
She knew. She knew it couldn’t be a joke.
She, and no one else, had made him like this.
She had broken the person she wanted to protect with her own hands and torn apart the dream she wanted to support.
Nausea welled up and tears fell, but she had neither the right nor the luxury to cry.
If she let her guard down for even a moment, her mind would go blank again, and she felt like she would give up on thinking altogether.
If she were dominated again, she would repeat this mistake.
This was the chance So-hyun had given her at the cost of his life, and the sanity she had barely recovered.
The loss was too great, and there were things she had to do, to simply walk back into the darkness crying like the protagonist of a tragedy.
She turned her head.
The culprit.
There had to be a culprit who made her like this and made her harm So-hyun.
Atonement could wait until after her revenge was complete.
In her heart, she wanted to cry.
She wanted to do nothing but hold him and keep crying.
But she couldn’t.
He was a precious student.
He was a boy she wanted to cheer for, a boy who reminded her of her younger brother.
But perhaps that wasn’t all.
Was it after she saw him stepping forward to protect someone, overcoming his own fear?
Was that when she began to harbor these feelings?
No.
Long before dealing with Jin Gyeong-tae or the other villains—yes, perhaps she had already harbored such emotions the very first day she met him.
On that day.
In that cold, dark cave, when the reality that she had to be violated and killed by low-rank monsters felt chillingly real.
When she couldn’t even cry because of the image of the person she admired and her responsibility as a hero, trying her best to act composed.
The moment he returned as if it were nothing, smiling and reaching out his hand to her.
His smile was already embedded deep within her heart.
— It’s okay now.
On the day he burned his own life to save her, this emotion must have already taken root in her heart.
She simply hadn’t realized it because she had never experienced it before.
She had realized, far too slowly and in the worst possible way, what this growing emotion was.
It wasn’t just goodwill or a simple crush.
It was an emotion too heavy and burning to be called something so light.
She forced her creaking body to stand.
Her body ached as a price for using power beyond its limits, and her head felt like it was splitting from forcibly resisting the artifact.
Still, she grit her teeth and endured.
She forcibly suppressed the black thing that threatened to overflow at any moment.
Because So-hyun must have been in more pain.
Because she had no right to whine about something like this.
Lilac and Yu-hak were each charging toward their respective opponents with a shout.
The artifact trying to dominate her seemed to be coming from the villain Lilac was facing.
So-hyun. Just wait a little longer.
I’ll come back after I deal with that villain.
* * *
“Ah, I think time’s up.”
“I see. Are you really not going to use Synchronization?”
“If I use that, I won’t be able to move for a while. I won’t use it unless it’s an absolute emergency.”
“It would be better than getting worked up again and charging in like a madman, wouldn’t it?”
I was actually a bit worried about that part, but for some reason, I had a feeling I wouldn’t end up like that again.
— One-coin?
As soon as I was ready, the Coin fellow started pestering me as if to fulfill the contract immediately.
“That damn ‘One-coin’ talk, seriously.”
As I focused my mind, a small coin floated above my hand.
“It is a pity. If we had more time, I would have had you train here. Training in the mental world is quite special.”
Aha, that thing manga protagonists often do. It’s a bit tempting.
Actually, even if it weren’t tempting, considering what’s ahead, I honestly felt like I might need it.
“I’ll ask you after I resolve this incident.”
“Very well.”
Leaving behind Sun Wukong, who gave a faint smile, I flicked the floating coin and was forcibly ejected from the mental world.
Defying death was quite a peculiar sensation.
Should I say it felt like the unpleasantness I felt when I lost all my Innate True Qi was being reversed?
Defying providence, the connection between my body and soul, which had been severing, was re-established.
Vitality returned to my stiffening muscles, and my lost blood was rapidly regenerated.
Up to this point, everything was going according to plan.
— You have overcome death through a special method.
Wait?
— You have begun to vaguely understand the concept of death through repeated experience.
— The destroyed blood vessels have been rapidly restored and further strengthened. A bonus is applied to all actions using mana.
I didn’t know about this.
— The trait ‘Resurrection’ is evolving. Existing effects are strengthened.
Unintentionally, my body began to float and emit light.
I don’t know exactly what’s happening, but…
— A new effect has been added due to the evolution of the trait.
— However, the new effect cannot be confirmed as you have not yet perfectly understood death.
From the look of it, it doesn’t seem like anything bad.
Leaving the numerous notifications behind, I first opened my eyes.
Their gazes were gathered on me, like an audience below a stage looking at an actor.
They looked shocked, as if they had witnessed something impossible, while simultaneously showing relief or astonishment.
“What, is this your first time seeing someone come back to life?”
It was a joke intended to make them laugh, but no answer came back.
Is it really that amazing?
Well, I guess it would be if you saw it for the first time.
My floating body slowly descended to the ground.
Compared to before I died, the first thing I noticed was that the total amount of my Innate True Qi had increased ridiculously.
In terms of total capacity alone, an energy that wouldn’t pale in comparison to most long-lived species was filling the depths of my body.
And while I don’t know exactly what “understanding death” feels like, I gained a lot of things along with it.
It wasn’t intentional, but good is good.
Looking around, everyone was still staring blankly at me.
Then, my eyes fell on Professor Cathy, who had regained her senses.
Actually, from the moment I saw that black thing and got wrecked, I had been considering the possibility that she might snap out of it.
It wasn’t based on evidence.
Nor was it a blind guess that things would just work out because this was a novel.
It was simply that if that black thing, and not just the artifact, was playing a role, I naturally knew that this was what I had to do.
Well, anyway, it means I have one less thing to do, so it’s not bad.
Just as I was about to provoke the villains…
“Ugh…”
Suddenly.
Tears burst from Professor Cathy’s eyes.
…I guess she was more shocked than I thought?