Chapter 362: Ascension to Immortality (18)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 362: Ascension to Immortality (18)
Something was strange.
It felt like at least five minutes had passed since I tore that monster apart, yet my body remained light, and the intrusive thoughts that had been plaguing my mind had mostly vanished.
However, in their place—if I could even call it that—strange voices began to echo.
Aside from the fact that the sound was a bit annoying, I felt better than I had in a very long time.
— What is it you desire that keeps you so steadfast? Wealth and fame, even all the pleasures of the world, are ultimately meaningless.
— Even the most trivial thing existing here is more precious and valuable than what you are struggling so hard not to let go of.
…So what?
Low-level monsters tried to block my path, but they were only a hindrance back when I was powerless. Now, they didn’t bother me at all.
The ones that looked reasonably strong—about as strong as that monster from earlier—didn’t even try to stop me. Instead, they either bowed their heads or stood there trembling. If the big ones weren’t doing anything, how much could these small fries really annoy me?
— You have the talent. You could reach a place even higher than us.
— It must be suffocating, yet you endure it well. It’s painful to try and cage something so vast within a tiny vessel like a human body, isn’t it? Just think of it as a suit that doesn’t fit. Take it off, and you’ll be at peace.
— Honestly, it’s tedious, isn’t it? It’s a burden. Nothing gets solved unless you step in, things go wrong the moment you let your guard down, and it feels like there’s no one else but you in your entire circle. Right?
— We know everything~ We were the same. You won’t be understood like this. Those who can truly understand you are all up here, yet you insist on staying below.
I never said I wanted to be understood.
— No, you do want to be understood. You’re just settling for being comforted because you know understanding is impossible.
— Yes, because of that guilt and sadness, you forcibly hide what you truly desire. You try to mask your wounds by devoting yourself to them.
— How foolish is that? They aren’t worth even a fraction of your effort. Compared to you, they are all utterly insignificant.
Who are you to decide who’s insignificant?
— It’s the truth. A stupid world that would perish without you, a world that would break without someone’s sacrifice. Why should you be so obsessed with a world that has nothing to offer you?
— You could come here, cast everything aside, and build something new with a clean heart.
— You’d understand if you just came up here once. You’d see how foolish, yet how lovely, your current self is.
— Yes, there’s a reason we keep talking to you and trying to welcome you as a comrade. It’s because we’ve walked the same path. You’ll eventually climb up here covered in wounds anyway, so we’re just acting out of pity, you know?
— Humans are ugly. Humans are foolish. Humans are far too weak. Humans change far too easily.
— Humans are lovely. Humans are clever. Humans are more resilient than you’d think. But that doesn’t mean they don’t change.
I told you, you’re being noisy. I already know all that.
— Our broken comrade, who cannot even speak his own desires properly.
— Poor child, who has lost so many precious things.
I don’t know who they think they are, acting so damn noisy.
“Yeah, there aren’t many things in this world that are actually valuable.”
— Then…
“So, I’ll decide what’s valuable for myself. I don’t care what bastards like you say; what’s precious to me is precious. I’ve made up my mind to protect it, so I’m never letting go.”
I was dazed and felt good, so the scenery was growing faint. I had to force myself to hold onto the faces of the people waiting for me. My head throbbed, but I didn’t care.
“If you understand, then shut the hell up. Stop annoying me.”
As the voices cluttering my head vanished one by one, I could finally feel the faint discomfort and pain within the comfort again.
Who do you think you are? This is mine. I’m never letting go.
I didn’t know how long I had been walking, but when I suddenly looked up, I realized the surroundings had grown much darker.
Come to think of it, I felt instinctively drawn this way. Is there an exit back to the world here?
And after walking a bit further…
I was met by a young girl.
She had long black hair and red eyes that resembled my own.
She smiled brightly and waved at me. Despite her beautiful appearance, there was a strange, eerie sensation about her that made her presence unwelcome.
“Hmm, everyone was so focused on you that I came to see how impressive you were, and indeed, you are quite something. Some people struggle their whole lives to let go and fail, yet here you are, holding on as if your life depends on it.”
…Luna? Yeah, it was a feeling similar to when I was with Luna or Sun Wukong.
It wasn’t just about being powerful or frightening; it was as if her very existence was unique.
“How many would be envious if I could take you as my devotee? Normally, I have no need for such things, but for you, I think I wouldn’t mind.”
When I dodged the hand she reached out, the girl’s eyes widened in surprise before she clutched her stomach and began to laugh hysterically.
“Yes, of course. Children like you are always the same. Both Xuanzang and Siddhartha ignored my hand as if it were a joke. I’m called the Ruler of Desire, yet my pride is practically wounded.”
My mind was still a bit foggy, so I didn’t know exactly who the girl in front of me was, but the names she mentioned were familiar.
“And it’s not like you shun the company of women like those two did, which makes it even more curious. You act as if touching me would be a catastrophe. You don’t look like them at all, so why do you act so similarly?”
“…Move.”
I wasn’t uninterested in who she was, but it was clear she wasn’t going to be of any help right now, so there was no point in dealing with her.
“How cold. You might not realize it, but we’ve shared quite a lot between us. Your desires are always sweet, and your agony is exceptionally beautiful. For a soul capable of reaching Enlightenment to choose to suffer and throw itself into desire… how could I not find that lovely?”
Even as I tried to ignore her and keep walking, not a hint of displeasure appeared on her face.
“I only came to see your face today, so don’t worry. Oh, and I wanted to give you a piece of advice.”
“…Advice?”
Despite my intent to ignore her, her words possessed a certain magic that made me stop.
“Do you still remember the things you mustn’t forget?”
Remember…?
Of course. I remember Cathy Noona, Ha-ni, Ga-eul, my other friends, and Seo-ha. I remember them all.
“…Is that so? Then what is that about?”
She tapped her own arm. When I looked down at mine, I saw that a part of it had turned into a shadow.
“I’ll ask you one more time. Do you really remember everything correctly?”
…It’s gotten quite faint, but I’m still okay. I remember everyone clearly. Why is this happening?
The sight of the flickering shadow spreading further made me irritated.
I remember. I remember everything perfectly. I haven’t forgotten a single thing.
“…I’m not usually the type to do this, but I still want to receive a lot from you. Besides, I’ve never been fond of more people climbing up to where I am.”
The girl approached me, stroking the arm that was turning into shadow, and asked, “What is your name?”
My name? It’s… obviously… wait. What was it?
“I’ve spent my whole life interfering with others, yet here I am helping someone because they refuse to leave the world. There’s no meaning if I tell you. If you want to hold on even a little longer, try to remember it yourself. Xuanzang and Siddhartha could do this much easily, so you, who are like them, should be able to as well.”
In my struggle to hold onto the most precious things so I wouldn’t sink, I had almost discarded something relatively less important.
But without this, I would surely lose everything else.
I had almost dropped it, but fortunately, I was still clutching it. I tightened my grip.
“Did you remember?”
“My name? It’s Kang So-hyun. It used to be Ha-neul.”
“Ha-neul… what a grand name. I used to be called by a similar name once.”
She laughed playfully, took her hand off my arm, and stroked my hair.
“Please, remain human for as long as possible. Worry, resist, and degrade your own value. The more you do, the more I gain.”
As she turned to leave, as if she had no further business with me, I called out to her.
“Excuse me.”
“Hmm~? What is it? Did you decide you want to do something fun with me?”
“No, not that. I was just wondering… what is your name?”
If the name I was thinking of was correct, then I had just become acquainted with an incredibly formidable being.
“I wonder. My name… some call me ‘Demon King’ or ‘Ma,’ and some call me ‘Demonic Spirit.’ There were times I was called the Celestial Demon because I resided in the highest place, and others called me the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven after my domain. Though, these days, that title is more famously used by another child.”
…Holy shit. I suspected it, but it was true.
“If I had to pick the word that represents me best, it would be Mara. It means ‘the one who harms humans.’”
One of the most dangerous ‘evils’ recognized in Buddhism.
The monster who takes the form of a beautiful woman to corrupt those of high virtue and prevent them from achieving immortality.
Mara Papiyas.
The ruler of divine abilities who grows stronger by feeding on human desire and agony.
“Then please, be careful. There may be no monster here greater than I, but there are plenty of monsters dangerous enough for you.”
“…Could you perhaps help me out a bit?”
“I’d rather not. I only came to stop you from reaching Enlightenment. I quite enjoy watching you agonize and suffer.”
…Well, yeah. Mara is a deity closer to a demon than a benevolent god.
“Even so.”
The goddess, who had suddenly closed the distance between us, ruffled my hair once more.
“If you need the blessing of a demon, I suppose I can do that much for you.”
The moment her finger flicked my forehead, my body felt warm.
“You’re already resisting the temptations of those foolish lower gods on your own, so I have nothing to say about that. At least now you won’t try to forget yourself out of loneliness.”
— …can you hear me? Can you hear me now…!
“Huh?”
“I’ll clear the path that those pathetic things blocked with their tricks.”
“Sun Wukong…?”
— Get away from her right now! Even now, that crazy bitch is smiling like a saint while imagining what’s in your pants!
…Excuse me? I know you’re saying that because you’re worried, and this is a touching moment of reunion, but aren’t those first words a bit much…?
“Hmm, I won’t deny it. I am the ruler of desire, but I am also one who is fallen in desire.”
…You’re not denying it? You were actually thinking that?
“When you have such a magnificent thing attached to a face like that, how could I not imagine what it tastes like?”
As I backed away, she looked at me with eyes that sparkled with even more interest, which was honestly a bit terrifying.
“Don’t worry. Unless you try to achieve Enlightenment, I have no intention of taking you by force just yet. I’m not that starved. What’s the point of eating fruit that isn’t fully ripe? It would only be sour or bitter.”
“I’m grateful for the help, but if you come any closer, I’m going to scream.”
— Hey! I told you not to talk to her!
“…Hmm? Aha? I see. Has spring finally come for that stone monkey? Then I shouldn’t interfere. I’ll be heading back to where I belong now. Do be careful.”
She clutched her stomach and giggled. Her behavior felt more human than divine.
“For one who travels ten li, consider eight li as the halfway point.”
“…Hmm?”
“It means don’t let your guard down just because you think you’ve almost arrived. Whether your goal is Enlightenment or resisting it, nothing is truly yours until you hold it in your hands. It is the way of the world and its laws that if you relax right before reaching your destination, you will fail to arrive. If there is something you desire, you must grip it tight and make it yours so it cannot escape.”
The incarnation of desire and evil gradually turned transparent. To my eyes, at least, she looked no different from any other deity, gazing upon a human with a benevolent and loving expression.
“I truly hope you never come to the place where we are.”
The goddess, who bestowed a blessing that sounded like a curse, vanished from sight.