Chapter 360: Ascension to Immortality (16)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 360: Ascension to Immortality (16)
It was strange.
Subjectively, it felt like not even a day had passed, yet I couldn’t put on my usual bravado.
I was certain I used to be fine with this much.
No, I used to be able to endure far worse conditions than this.
What exactly was the difference between then and now?
The fact that this was a hell where I didn’t have a single ally, and the fact that ravenous monsters were hunting me—none of that had changed.
I didn’t know why I felt so anxious and irritated.
I wondered if the Gap of Hell naturally had some sort of anxiety-inducing effect, but it felt like there was a more fundamental reason, something different from that.
Perhaps because my concentration had wavered for a moment, a hideous, one-eyed monster resembling a bat lunged at me.
Annoyed that even such a pathetic thing was coming at me, I irritably crushed its head. A strange pain flared up in my hand.
“…Haha.”
This little thing has acidic blood too? What a bizarre freak.
Instead of wasting time on idle thoughts, I decided it was better to focus on escaping as quickly as possible.
I lowered my posture and smeared mud and the rotten water pooling on the ground over my body.
It was unpleasant, but when you’re running away, you have to be even more careful of the sense of smell than the sense of sight.
If there was a creature sensitive to scents, you could be caught no matter how thorough your visual camouflage was.
Fortunately, it seemed to have some effect, but the problem now was the bastards who sensed their opponents through means other than sight and smell.
I couldn’t hide things like temperature or vibrations.
The bat-like thing from earlier probably found me using ultrasound or something similar.
At first, I truly thought there was no way out, but as the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining. Fortunately, the monsters here didn’t seem to be on particularly friendly terms with one another.
They didn’t just hunt me exclusively; even the ones blindly targeting me didn’t cooperate like the yokai outside. They were more likely to fight among themselves.
Thanks to that, I was somehow still alive, but honestly, just being alive didn’t feel very positive.
Every single step had to be taken with caution. Even if the giant ones fought each other, the small ones—like that bat—would still target me blindly.
Of course, I told myself that being able to move forward, however slowly, was a blessing, but the problem was the strange impatience and anxiety I’d been feeling. They were eating away at me faster than expected.
I was used to being isolated, used to being left alone, and used to falling into pits full of monsters.
So why was I so anxious and impatient?
…I miss everyone.
No, I’d be happy just to hear their voices.
As that thought suddenly crossed my mind, I remembered what the Doctor had said.
Separation anxiety disorder.
She hit the nail on the head.
When did I become this weak? In the past, enduring things alone was a given, so something like this should have been nothing.
Had I really become so pathetic that just being away for a little while and having no one around made me feel this anxious and afraid?
No, that wasn’t it.
I was a coward from the very beginning.
I hated being hurt, I hated being disliked, and I hated it when someone left me.
Even though I desperately wanted someone by my side, I was so afraid of being abandoned that I pushed everyone away and tried to keep my distance.
Because everyone I ever said I loved had left my side or died.
Because everything I wanted to protect had been hideously destroyed.
I was a childish brat who wore a mask to hide his wounds, imitated others, and pretended to be strong—only to close his eyes and shut his ears and mouth when things became too hard to bear.
A moronic child who was more afraid of the warmth that made him feel cozy than the cold that tormented him.
A coward who crouched alone in a snowfield filled with frigid air, whispering to himself that he was okay, because he felt he wouldn’t be able to endure it if that warmth ever vanished.
That was my true identity.
Now that I’d admitted it openly, I understood a little better.
What I was so anxious about, and why I was so impatient.
Sun Wukong was exactly right.
She’d said I looked at others like they were children playing near the water’s edge; the truth was, I was terrified.
I was terrified that the people who had become so precious to me would disappear again, and that something would go wrong for reasons I didn’t know while I wasn’t looking.
I was trembling like this because the mere thought of having nowhere left to lean on and having to return to that dreadful snowfield was so damn horrific.
What a stupid delusion.
I thought my shitty self-deprecating tendencies had improved a bit, but now I was afraid of being hurt instead.
I really don’t know how to do things in moderation.
I shook off the idle thoughts and took a step forward.
Now that I knew the reason for my anxiety, suppressing it wasn’t difficult.
Anxiety was just anxiety; I was going to trust my people.
They weren’t the type to be easily defeated, so everyone would be fine.
They might even be running wild right now, thinking they have to save me.
I had to deny the reasons for my anxiety and keep thinking hopeful thoughts.
What I needed to do now wasn’t to crouch here and act pathetic, but to return before they overexerted themselves and show them that I was safe.
If Cathy Noona saw me now, she’d probably scold me, asking how I could say I was safe when I looked like a total mess.
Ha-ni might ask who bullied me and say she’s going to crush them.
Would Ga-eul ask if I was okay with a tearful face, even though she wasn’t the one hurt?
As I forced myself to imagine bright scenes, the trembling in my body began to subside.
My legs started moving forward again, bit by bit. It seemed I’d managed to resolve it somehow.
“Kweeeeeeeek…!”
But the moment I forced myself to find the strength to move, I suddenly heard the scream of a yokai.
The wraiths and yokai alike all began to flee at once, as if they were terrified of something.
As I wondered what was happening, I saw a pig-like yokai being snatched up by a massive hand.
…What is that?
The monsters I’d met so far were quite large, but none were like that.
A monster whose size left nothing to be desired if one were to call it a Giant, with a body mostly made of black shadows, stood there.
Judging by the massive horns on its head, was its base a kisin?
Or perhaps it was a mixture of wraiths centered around some other horned yokai.
It had four arms on its massive body and numerous eyes rolling around all over its form to scan the surroundings. Yet, on the part that could be called a face, there was nothing that could be called an eye. It was a revolting appearance, but the look of it was bearable compared to what the creature was doing.
The pig yokai was about the size of a bull, but it was infinitely small compared to the giant ghost.
It was literally only a mouthful, so I thought the giant would gulp it down like a snack, but the creature was repeatedly biting the yokai and inflicting pain on purpose.
“Kweeeeeee…!!!!”
As if enjoying those screams, the eyes all over its body narrowed. Whenever the pig tried to stop resisting, the giant would loosen the pressure of its jaw as if it might let it live, repeatedly giving it hope and then despair.
…Let’s get out of here.
No matter how I looked at it, that ghost was the kind of thing you didn’t want to get caught by.
There was a reason all the monsters in the area had fled.
The moment I turned around, I heard the sound of something being swallowed whole.
I’ll be grateful to that pig and leave this—
“Where are you going? Did you think I didn’t notice you?”
I’d tried to avoid it, but unfortunately, it seemed the creature had noticed me from the start.
“Of course I’d notice. You have such a delicious scent.”
…What? I haven’t even answered yet. How did it know?
“It’s simple. Should I call it a reward for surviving at the bottom of the Gap for so long? This is a ‘Divine Ability’ I obtained. I can hear the voices of other people’s hearts!”
The cackling sound felt like it was scraping against my ears, which was irritating.
“…Is that so? That’s quite impressive. But I guess you like the smell of rotten water and mud?”
“No, no! It’s insulting to compare you to those low-level yokai bastards or those wraith nobodies who’ve lost their sense of self. I’ve endured a very long time in this place.”
The creature grabbed the rock I was hiding behind and plucked it out and tossed it away as easily as if it were clearing away a toy.
“When I say you look delicious, I’m talking about the scent coming from your soul. You don’t seem to be a Taoist or a mage, so how do your flesh and soul smell so good?”
The rolling eyeballs all looked at me at once, and the creature’s mouth curved into an arc again.
“I must eat you. I feel like I can finally become complete if I eat you!”
I thought it would be slow because of its massive body, but unexpectedly, the creature moved quite fast.
Still, it wasn’t at a level I couldn’t dodge. Just as I was about to throw myself aside—
“You’re a fool, aren’t you?”
The fist the creature swung was already waiting in the direction I’d lunged.
“Ugh…!?”
Because of the collision with the massive fist, my body, which had barely recovered, screamed in pain again.
“I told you I can hear the voices of your heart! You should have tried to turn around and run! I can see exactly how you’re going to move! And you thought you could dodge my attack!?”
Tsk…
Chuckling, the creature extended a massive hand and pinned me down with its fingers.
“Weak! So weak! You look so strong, yet you’re so weak!”
Even though it could crush me if it wanted to, did it plan to toy with me just like it did with that pig earlier?
The creature cackled, flicking me with its fingers and repeatedly tormenting me, telling me to try and resist.
…This isn’t going to work.
“Hmm? Medicine? You can use your power if you take medicine? Do you think I’d let you eat that!?”
I thought about blocking if I couldn’t dodge, but even if I raised my guard, attacks came from completely different directions, so it was ultimately meaningless.
Those four long arms were quite annoying, and perhaps because its body was made of shadows similar to a wraith, it seemed to be able to transform itself quite freely.
“You think I’d be nothing to you if you could just use Reinforcement? But why aren’t you using it? Ah, I see.”
The creature, which had started talking to itself, nodded as if it had reached its own conclusion even though I hadn’t answered.
“For the sake of your precious people? What a pathetic thought. And who are these precious people of yours?”
Grinning, the creature mimicked the action of pulling something out from behind its back and thrust it toward me.
“…Ah?”
Green eyes that went well with beautiful blonde hair had lost their vitality, and the body hung limp like a doll.
“Is it this one?”
Tears welled in the eyes of a girl with black hair, a rarity in this world.
“Or this one?”
A girl with short reddish-brown hair had her limbs twisted in bizarre directions, her eyes closed.
“Or is it this one!?”
No, it’s not.
“I found them coming here to look for you, so I played with them a bit and they broke. What should I do~?”
I have the Fiery Eyes and Golden Pupils, so I can tell.
Those were all illusions created by the creature’s Divine Ability, and everything it was saying was a lie.
“Oh, you have a fascinating trick! I wonder what those eyeballs taste like. If I can take those eyes of yours, I feel like I could reach an even higher realm!”
That’s why there’s no need to be angry.
That’s why the right thing to do is to escape from here.
“After I eat you, it’ll be perfect to eat these girls who came looking for you.”
“…What?”
“I’ll mimic your voice to lure them in, then tear them apart and devour them one by one. If I keep only your head and show it to them, what kind of expression will they make? What kind of despair will I get to taste?”
Seriously, what the hell is this bastard talking about?
“That despair will give me even greater power. I’ve always really loved the sound of others screaming~”
A mere monster thinks it’s going to do what to whom…?
“Young women’s flesh tastes much better, after all! Are you scared? Do you hate it? Then why don’t you try begging! If you despair enough to satisfy me and apologize, I might change my mind!”
A massive hand gripped my body, and the creature slowly lifted me up.
“Of course, no matter how much you beg, you’ll still end up in my stomach. But wouldn’t it be better to at least protect your precious people~?”
What’s so funny that you’re cracking up like that?
“Say, ‘Thank you for ending it with just me. Please enjoy your meal.’ And…!”
It’s not going to be funny anymore.
How dare you… how dare you spout that kind of shit in front of me. You’ve really got a death wish, you monster.
“…You’re thinking that even in this situation? You said you can’t even use your power without medicine. What can you possibly do while caught in my grip?”
What can I do? You curious?
The severed Innate True Qi began to swirl through my body, and a familiar light and sense of omnipotence enveloped me.
“…Huh?”
“If you’re so curious, see for yourself. You son of a bitch.”
As I put strength into my body, the creature’s hand that was holding me shattered into pieces and scattered into the surroundings.
You are so dead.