Chapter 228: A Rowdy Naming Contest
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 228: A Rowdy Naming Contest
Atmosphere is something that can change much faster than one might think.
For instance, let’s say there’s a man and a woman playing around in a bathroom.
Even if it started under the guise of a warning, and even if it began with a playful heart, I just realized that the slightest trigger can turn a joke into something much more serious.
“Ngh… ah…”
The problem started after I finished the scalp massage. I had lightly placed my hands on her shoulders, thinking I might as well work out some of her stiff muscles while I was at it.
At first, it was playful, just like the scalp massage. But the moment I kneaded a knotted spot, a strange moan escaped Ha-ni’s lips. In an instant, the playful atmosphere took a sharp turn.
And it seemed I wasn’t the only one who felt it; Ha-ni couldn’t even bring herself to look at me.
When people think of a hero’s body, they often imagine a rock-hard bodybuilder. However, superhuman strength actually comes from mana, not muscle, so there aren’t as many heavily muscled heroes as you’d expect.
In fact, it’s more common for them to have muscles developed for flexibility and elasticity.
Through my hands, I felt a sensation that was elastic yet not hard—soft enough to feel like it might melt. In that moment, I became acutely aware that what I was touching was a woman’s body.
This is bad.
If I start living a debauched life like this, I don’t think my body will be able to handle it.
I mean Ha-ni’s body, of course, not mine.
“Shall we go out?”
“…Y-yeah. Let’s do that. The kid should be back soon anyway.”
Well, I can only hope Ha-ni takes today as a lesson and doesn’t rashly suggest bathing together in the future.
With that, I opened the bathroom door and stepped out.
“Ah! Papa! Mama!”
A cute girl’s smile greeted us.
Oh, I don’t know who did it, but her hair was tied in pigtails. How adorable.
…Wait, I don’t remember opening the door for her yet. How did she get in? There wasn’t even a call from the dormitory entrance.
“Hmm, I received a report from Cathy, but you’re moving faster than I expected. Already bathing together?”
As I looked up toward the source of the voice, I saw a familiar… well, not quite familiar yet, but a somewhat recognizable figure with a lollipop in her mouth.
The Doctor.
The person in charge of the Academy’s infirmary and the woman who claims to be my aunt.
“Huh!?”
Ha-ni let out a small shriek upon spotting our little deity and the Doctor. It was quite a cute reaction.
“Ah, no need to be surprised. I’ve already heard the gist of your relationship, and I simply let myself in with the master key I got from Chairperson Leilan.”
“Why on earth do you think that’s ‘no need to be surprised’?”
Thank goodness we were at least wearing swimsuits. What would have happened if we had walked out completely defenseless and naked?
The Doctor, receiving my gaze full of discontent, seemed to realize something as she nodded and spoke.
“I’m a bit late in asking, but are you using condoms properly?”
Wait, that’s strange. Didn’t I just ask why she thought this wasn’t surprising? Why is she answering with a question—and one that has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation?
“Judging by your expression, you seem unhappy. But when you’re young, if you let your guard down thinking ‘just once will be fine’ and an accident happens, there’s no turning back. A child born that way bears no sin…”
“That’s not why I’m unhappy, though…?”
“I know. It was a joke.”
…Is it because she’s almost expressionless? It’s really hard to tell when this person is joking.
“Don’t worry, I can’t abuse the master key unless it’s an emergency. I have to report the specific purpose of use to Leilan every time I use it. I just did it this time as a courtesy, in case rumors spread among students who don’t know the circumstances.”
Having finished her candy, she reached into her coat to pull out a cigarette, but after glancing at the deity circling around me, she put it back.
I wondered why she was eating candy when she wasn’t Professor Park A-ram, but it seemed she was holding back because of the child.
…Is she actually a good person, just bad at expressing herself?
“Well, rumors will spread soon enough anyway if you’re going to stay in the dormitory. Just keep in mind that she is officially treated as something you ‘acquired’ in a dungeon.”
I had heard the gist of what she meant before, so I understood.
She meant that clarifying ownership would lead to fewer problems later, even if the girl’s true identity was discovered.
…To put it bluntly, if those dark-hearted bastards at the Association found out what she really was, they’d try to take her away using whatever bullshit excuse they could find.
“…You certainly have a strong sense of possessiveness in many ways.”
“Pardon?”
“Ah, it’s nothing. Just a continuation of the observation I was doing last time.”
The Doctor scribbled something in her notebook and stood up.
“Well, it would be rude of me to sit here for too long, so I’ll take my leave.”
I briefly wondered if I should try to get her to stay out of politeness, but then I realized I didn’t know her well enough to have anything to talk about.
It was better to just say goodbye than to make half-hearted small talk.
“Thank you for everything.”
“Hmm?”
“For helping hide her identity, and for looking after her.”
“Yes, you should be grateful.”
Huh…? That was a bit different from the reaction I expected.
“It’s only natural for immature people like you to lean on someone else, especially an adult. However, ‘natural’ doesn’t mean you’re allowed to forget your gratitude.”
A hint of pride flickered across her expressionless face.
“I haven’t done much for you yet, but as your aunt, I’m glad to see you’ve grown into a child who knows how to say thank you properly.”
In that moment, her image overlapped briefly with someone I missed.
I felt a slight lump in my throat.
“A good child like you deserves a reward.”
“Pardon?”
She pulled a small box out of her pocket and pressed it into my hand. On the box, it was written:
‘Concentrated Latest Technology! 0.00001!!! Challenging the Limits!? Ultra-thin! XL size!’
Wait. Why do I feel the warmth that was in my chest just a moment ago turning ice-cold?
“Last time was a mass-produced version because I didn’t have time to prepare, but I’ve prepared something much better this time. Be sure to use them and submit your feedback.”
She’s definitely my mother’s sister; it’s just hidden by her lack of expression.
My maternal side of the family must have a multi-generational love for pranks.
Ha-ni, who had also been looking a bit moved, saw the box, and the warmth vanished from her face in an instant.
“Ah, one last thing. She isn’t a real human child, but I don’t know what kind of effect it might have on her emotional development, so I recommend not doing it right in front of her…”
“Just leave already!”
“So-hyun, you shouldn’t speak like that. She’s your aunt, even if she is… like that.”
Pfft.
I thought I heard a laugh the moment she stepped out and the door closed, but I decided not to care anymore.
* * *
“Hehe. Papa. Mama.”
“Yeah?”
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
I see. You can just call us for no reason. Whose kid is this? She’s so cute.
Though she didn’t say it, Ha-ni seemed to agree with me completely, as she was beaming.
Hmm, isn’t it a tragedy that there are people in this world who don’t know such a cute being exists?
Yet, at the same time, I wanted to monopolize this cuteness with just a few people and enjoy the privilege. It was truly the dilemma of the century.
“Ah, no. This isn’t it.”
“What’s wrong, So-hyun?”
“Papa?”
I had almost let it slide again because I was lost in similar fantasies for the third time, but now that our deity was back, there was something I had to do without further delay.
“You remember, right? It got pushed back because of the dungeon and the examination, but I promised to give you a name as soon as we got back.”
Our cute deity blinked her large eyes and tilted her head.
“My name?”
“Yeah. You can’t go on without a name forever.”
Unlike her previous pure joy, she looked momentarily anxious.
“What’s wrong?”
“…Is it okay for me to have a name?”
“…Huh?”
— She’s likely anxious. She’s grown a bit since you first met her. She probably senses, at least instinctively, what a name means to a deity.
Sun Wukong spoke up with words that were hard to grasp.
‘What do you mean by that?’
— A deity’s name is their role and their proof of existence. Since she was born without being granted a role by the world, she feels instinctive fear even as she rejoices in the idea of having a name.
‘How do you know that so well…?’
— Because that’s how I felt when I was first born. Well, I had a fierce temper, so I just went around learning Taoist arts and causing all sorts of havoc. I pretty much decided my own name, too.
…Aha, I see.
I couldn’t understand the feeling exactly, but I got the gist of it.
“Of course it’s okay.”
And even if I didn’t fully understand, my answer was already decided.
If a child is anxious, it’s only natural for me to soothe them.
Before being this child’s believer, I had resolved to be her father, and to a child, a parent is a god they must rely on.
And what I had to do wasn’t just tell her it was okay with words.
I had to prove and show her that I wasn’t the only one—that there were plenty of people who would affirm her existence.
“How about we do this?”
“Huh?”
“So-hyun, what are you planning?”
If you want to show a bright world to an anxious child, there’s nothing better than a bright and lively atmosphere.
Children are incredibly sensitive to their surroundings, so they are easily influenced when the environment is bright and bustling.
Hoping that you, too, can be like that, just as I was.
“Call everyone over right now! We’re starting a Naming Contest!”
“Naming…?”
“Contest?”
That’s right! With so many people, surely a decent name will come up!
* * *
Despite the sudden call, most of our friends gathered and put effort into thinking of a name.
I’m happy. I really am. But…
I had overlooked one thing.
It wasn’t a matter of effort; naming is incredibly difficult, and it wasn’t a talent I should have expected from my friends.
Candidate No. 1: Kang Ha-ni.
“Taking her parents’ surname, Kang, and with the meaning of growing up strong… how about this?”
Ha-ni revealed the name she had written on a piece of paper.
Kang Cheon-ma.
Ha-ni. If you don’t want to see your kid get bullied, don’t you ever think about naming a child in the future.
Naturally, everyone gave it a failing grade.
Candidate No. 2: Ju Ri-ra.
“You have to consider the child’s feelings and origins. Since she came from the sea, wouldn’t a name related to the sea be good?”
Judging by her confident attitude, it seemed like a decent name might actually come out.
Even something simple like Kang Ba-da wouldn’t be bad, right?
“Aquamarine.”
Ah, right. You were the one who named Yu-hak’s club ‘Silver Bullet,’ weren’t you?
Naturally, everyone voted to disqualify her.
Candidate No. 3: Lee Yu-na.
“She’s a girl. It should be a name related to love—someone who is lovely, can be loved, and can love.”
The logic was sound this time, but by this point, the fact that the logic was sound actually made me more anxious.
“Luisha. It’s the name of the God of Love and Healing.”
Fortunately, it was a more normal name than I expected, and there weren’t many opposing votes, but the deity herself flatly refused.
Well, I suppose using the name of another god could cause problems.
Cheon Yu-hak was talking nonsense, so I skipped him. Aisha, who had begged to be included while passing by, suggested ‘Aisa’ after her own name, and I almost kicked her out for that nonsense.
Master—that is, Lee Ha-ru—declined, saying she didn’t feel qualified. As the candidates fell one by one, a man raised his hand.
It was Dark Lilac.
He had taken off his school blazer, but instead, he had unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, which was incredibly annoying. Still, I decided to hear him out.
“Requiem…”
“Get out.”
Usually, he’s a guy who can be somewhat helpful, so why did he have to act like this now? How can a person’s name be Requiem…?
…Is it a total wipeout? Seriously?
I hadn’t called the professors yet, but should I ask Cathy Noona or even the Chairperson?
“So-hyun.”
“Huh? What?”
Kim Ga-eul, who had been disqualified for the overwhelmingly insane suggestion of ‘Kang A-ji’ (Puppy), spoke to me inquisitively.
“You haven’t made a suggestion yet. Don’t you have a name you want to recommend?”
“Ah, well.”
Actually, I hadn’t put forward a candidate yet because I was holding back, thinking that if I suggested one, they might just agree to it even if they didn’t like it.
But looking around, it seemed like the atmosphere wouldn’t let me get away without saying something.
The truth was, I did have a name in mind.
When she first decided on her form and I faced her in her nest beneath the sea.
I had thought her appearance was like the moon floating in the ocean—like a phantasm that would soon vanish.
“Luna.”
…Ah, now that I’ve said it out loud, it doesn’t seem that much different from Ju Ri-ra’s or the others’ suggestions, does it?
Naming really is a difficult task.
“…Is it not good?”
The others all shook their heads with lukewarm expressions, but there was one person.
“I like it.”
“Huh?”
There was one who nodded with a look of pure joy.
Needless to say, it was our little deity.
And then.
[The Nameless Deity accepts your prayer.]
[The origin of the Nameless Deity has been established.]
What?
[From now on, the Nameless Deity must strive to represent illusions, phantasms, fantasies, the intangible, and beings of the other side to prove her status.]
[The Goddess of the Moon Reflected on the Water establishes her rank.]
No, what does all that mean? Why are there so many messages…!
“I like the name Luna the best…!”
“Ah, what is this~”
“If you were going to decide based on affection levels anyway, why did you even hold a contest~”
While everyone was giggling and joking around, I was the only one who couldn’t laugh, feeling like something had gone wrong.
I knew something would happen, but what does all that mean…?
— What do you think it means? It means the kid has a role now. You gave her a role that even the universe itself couldn’t provide.
“My name is Luna now!”
— Well, not much will actually change, so don’t worry too much.
Looking at Sun Wukong’s consolation and the smiling face of the deity—no, Luna—it seemed like it would be okay.
Yet, why did I have a premonition that this would somehow come back around and become the cause of some future incident?
“Papa!”
…Well, still.
It seems I can’t take it back now, and she’s so happy for the moment, so isn’t that enough?
At least she won’t have to be scared anymore, wondering if it’s okay for her to have a name.
Everyone started noisily chatting about having an after-party now that the naming contest was over, and another day of summer vacation passed by.