Chapter 184: Ice Spikes and Double the Bosom
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 184: Ice Spikes and Double the Bosom
It’s cold.
Strange. It’s supposed to be summer, isn’t it? Why is it so cold?
Ah, no.
This was the original temperature of my world.
A place filled entirely with gray, without a single trace of warmth. A place where no matter how much you raised the brightness or saturation, nothing ever changed.
To me, the world had always been such a place.
A place that tried to snatch something away the moment I let my guard down, a place where I’d get hurt the moment I showed any softness.
I was a fool.
I thought that because I’d grown a little stronger, because I had knowledge of the original story, I could somehow make things work.
But what is this?
Just one villain. Just because a guy I didn’t know appeared, I’ve become this helpless?
That this won’t happen again? That I just need to work harder? Who knows that? How can anyone know that?
Two paths lie before my eyes.
One is the path toward the snowfield. It is freezing and cold, but familiar—a path filled with all sorts of curses and screams. If I walk this path again, I might be able to protect those precious to me more easily.
However, I would never be able to stand by their side again.
The other is the path toward the flower garden. It is bright and so warm that it constantly melts and softens me, despite how coldly and sharply I’ve forged myself.
The positive energy of the flower garden is so happy and warm that, basking in its light, I find myself inadvertently becoming greedy, wanting to reach out with my filthy hands.
If I walk this path, everything about my future becomes opaque. But I would be able to remain by their side.
I ran so hard to reach that warm path.
And I thought I was seeing some results, too.
But in a single moment, I’ve lost track of what’s right.
I longed for the warmth of that unfamiliar flower garden because it was so inviting, but if I have to melt away upon touching it—if a softened, melted version of me cannot protect them—then wouldn’t it be better to walk the snowfield I know so well?
Enduring this terrible yet familiar chill, wouldn’t it be a more fitting path for me to simply kill everyone who tries to ruin the flower garden?
For a clumsy person like me, who can do nothing but hurt others upon contact—for someone like me, who brings misfortune to everything I touch.
Perhaps I never had a choice to begin with.
Perhaps I never had the right to act spoiled by their kindness.
Even if my resolve to protect them remains unchanged, is there really a reason I must be by their side?
As the countless questions continued, the world I already thought was cold enough felt a little bit chillier.
At the boundary between the snowfield and the flower garden, just as my gaze was about to shift toward the snow.
“…Ah.”
“Please…”
The noise coming from the flower garden caught me once again.
The sound was so loud, and so welcome. In the end, unable to turn away, my gaze shifted back toward the garden.
* * *
“So-hyun, it’s okay now! It’s all over…! Please, let go of the blade! Your hand is bleeding…!”
“Cadet Kang So-hyun! So-hyun! Please, please just say something…!”
Ah, right. I have to answer. I shouldn’t make them worry. Even when things are like crap, I’m good at smiling.
I retracted the Ruyi and looked at my hand; it was indeed stained with blood from how tightly I had gripped it.
“Ah, yeah. I’m okay. I’m fine.”
I mimicked.
I mimicked the expressions of those I loved so much, those who had eventually left me—the smiling face that had followed me like a curse—and I smiled.
But for some reason, it wasn’t working today.
The Professor and Ha-ni both looked terrible. This isn’t right. There was no point in coming back if they looked like that.
It’s because of that villain earlier that you’re making those faces.
That villain bastard was right. Being a hero doesn’t suit me at all.
If that’s the case, I’d rather…
“Mmph.”
I felt a soft sensation.
A familiar warmth radiated from Professor Cathy’s embrace.
It was the warmth that had held onto me, making me reconsider time and time again, intoxicating me.
But this time, it didn’t feel like it would end so easily.
The warmth wasn’t enough to melt something that had frozen so solid.
Because this chill was far more terrible than when I had regained my memories.
Of course it was. This time, it almost really ended. Since I have no price left to pay, I won’t be able to regress anymore. I almost lost you all again. How could I ever let my guard down again?
“Eph…!”
But I didn’t account for double the amount…?
From the opposite side of Professor Cathy, another soft sensation enveloped me.
…Ah, it’s Ha-ni.
Wow, double the breasts.
Wait, we’re in a restaurant. This is way too embarrassing.
“No, I’m really fine, I tell you!?”
When I pulled away and looked at their faces, they looked as if they had witnessed a miracle, like people who had just escaped the depths of despair.
“You’re So-hyun, right?”
“You’re okay now, right? Say something. Please?”
Worry. Yes, these two were worried about me right now.
That’s why they were reacting like this.
Ah, what an idiot. I was about to repeat the same mistake again.
I really have no capacity for learning.
Just as they have become so precious to me, I must be something precious to them as well.
I vowed time and again that I wouldn’t let go of anything, that I wouldn’t throw anything away, yet it was so hard to include myself in that.
I know.
I know, but.
I was so afraid of these two, who were still looking at me with such worry, reaching out to me.
What if I break them again when we touch?
I’m so cold. What if I steal all your warmth away?
“So-hyun, don’t smile.”
Ah, I tried to brush it off with a smile out of habit again. I shouldn’t do that.
“Just… let’s cry. Just cry your heart out. You don’t have to force a smile.”
“Don’t try to handle it all alone. I was right here. I’m okay now. If you’re going to smile like that, then don’t smile at all.”
They finally reached me.
They were trying to melt the version of me that had frozen even harder.
It’s a cruel trap. A cruel trap that tempts me by holding hostage the things I can never give up, the things I can never turn away from.
Tears didn’t come.
Perhaps because I had already cried too much the day I found my memories, I was able to smile a bit more naturally instead.
“I’m not crying. Really. Both of you.”
Right. I can’t just go to the snowfield as I please if it means making these people cry.
* * *
Returning to her hideout, Chae Yu-jin was furious.
“I won’t take a single step outside for a while, so just forgive me already, okay?”
“…Be quiet.”
“Ah, in the end, the junior lived and only a few cheap, defective products died. Is this really something to be this mad about?”
“Is it something to be mad about? Of course it is. A Calamity-class I went through the trouble of breaking out of Alcatraz tried to commit suicide on his own. Do you think I wouldn’t be angry?”
“…Hm? What are you talking about? Suicide? The heroes there were somewhat impressive, but they weren’t exactly beyond my level.”
“Heroes? Ah, those things.”
She snorted as if the idea was absurd and muttered with eyes devoid of emotion.
“…Those thieving cats.”
“Uh, well. You weren’t talking about them?”
“No. How could those things, who all die in the original story anyway, possibly defeat you?”
“Then I really don’t get it. Who exactly could have caught me there?”
“Why wouldn’t there be anyone? Ha-neul… Kang So-hyun was there.”
“Ah, he’s a decent enough junior, sure, but he’s not at that level. Honestly, he’s not quite enough to catch me yet…”
The man laughed as if her words were ridiculous, but her expression didn’t change.
“Against someone like you?”
If anything, her expression hardened further, laced with mockery.
“That boy has found something to replace me—something to ‘protect.’ You could never win against him alone. I’m not even sure I could win if I used the strongest card I have.”
“The kid is that much?”
“His ability is so broken that it was originally given to a character who dies at the very beginning. He is more of a balance breaker than you are. Never. Never touch him without my permission.”
“When you put it like that, it makes me want to test him even more.”
[That’s enough. If you intend to continue, I will have to step in.]
“…Tsk.”
Just before she could explode, the masked red-haired maid stepped in and blocked the white-haired man.
“Fine. I’ll stop here.”
He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, but honestly, she couldn’t stand the sight of him.
“But do you like that junior, So-hyun? You two don’t really seem to match.”
“If you want to fast for a week, I should certainly help you with that.”
Finally snapping, she used one of her few ‘commands’ to punish him.
* * *
After the situation was settled, Ha-ni and I were slowly heading back to our lodging—the hotel.
“Ah, well, you see.”
For the record, when Professor Cathy, whose face had been revealed, asked what was going on with her appearance, Ha-ni escaped the situation with a ridiculous excuse.
— This is crossdressing! It was a penalty game with So-hyun!
…It was truly the worst excuse. I’d become the weirdo who enjoyed a date with a crossdressing man.
“So-hyun, about how this happened, well, you see…”
Thanks to that, her trying to make excuses was actually quite cute.
A girl who attends school disguised as a boy claimed her true form was her “crossdressing” to avoid having her identity revealed.
“I wasn’t trying to trick you, but, how should I put it…”
“I know.”
“Huh?”
“I knew it was you.”
Ha-ni’s face turned a shade of red.
“In the first place, you didn’t even wear makeup and just tried to hide with a hat. How could I not know? It’s not like you’re twins; how does being cousins even make sense?”
“Ugh, no! Wait! Then why did you act like you didn’t know at first!”
“Because you were cute.”
“What?”
Man, she tried so hard to act today, but look at her turning red as a beet just from one sentence.
“Ah, ugh… seriously. Hey, So-hyun, I’ll ask you straight. You know, don’t you?”
Normally, I would have teased her more by asking “Know what?”, but I wasn’t in the mood for that today.
I was a bit shaken from hearing my mother’s name, and after experiencing that shitty terror attack, I didn’t want to use my brain.
And I was grateful to her for holding onto me with trembling hands, as if she were afraid of losing me.
“Which way would you prefer?”
Still, I wasn’t going to give her a straight answer.
“Huh?”
“Which way do you want it to be? Do you want me to be Kang So-hyun, your close friend? Or do you want me to look at you with different eyes now, not just as a friend?”
In fact, this answer itself implied that I already knew, but in her flustered state, she didn’t even notice that simple fact and averted her gaze.
“Uh? Uh?”
“Honestly, you haven’t thought about it yet, have you?”
She probably naturally intended to do both.
Well, honestly, even if we were to start dating, the relationship might not change drastically.
Still, it’s a matter that needs to be seriously considered at least once.
“I’m warning you now, there’s no taking it back. Depending on how you answer, things could become completely different from before, you know?”
“Huh?”
“Why do you keep saying ‘huh’? It’s obvious. I’m telling you in advance, I can be quite obsessive.”
I feel like I could still let her go for now.
If you try to run away, just up until this point, I think I could give you up for the sake of your happiness.
“So, I’ll let you choose. Whether you want me to keep seeing you as a friend, or whether you want us to move toward a different relationship—or if you’re not mentally prepared yet, you can put it on hold. You choose.”
Was that too sudden?
But I can’t help it.
I’ve already tasted the warmth.
There’s no way I’d want to let go.
So this is the last chance I’m giving you—no, all of you.
A chance to run away from me.
“On…”
“Hm?”
“On hold. I-I’ll think about it a little more.”
Oh, my Ha-ni is scared, isn’t she? Right, it’s okay. I can wait.
For now, that is.
For now.
* * *
“I’m bored.”
There was a girl rolling around on her bed in her room at her family home.
Kim Ga-eul.
She was currently suffering from extreme boredom.
Being at her family home was nice for a day or two, but it wasn’t like she couldn’t see them otherwise, and she didn’t exactly miss her family that desperately. It was inevitable that she’d feel bored.
“…Should I send So-hyun a text?”
Just as she thought that and opened her smartphone, she frowned at an advertisement text that had arrived.
A swimsuit ad.
Seriously, what’s with swimsuits?
She thought that and was about to delete the message.
After all, if she had to choose, she preferred valleys over the ocean, and she rarely prepared a swimsuit just to go to a valley.
However, she soon remembered that she would be going to the ocean next week.
A swimsuit, huh.
Maybe this could be another chance to appeal her charms to him.
The moment she imagined herself monopolizing his gaze in a bikini, the corners of her mouth naturally curled up.
“…Wait? A swimsuit?”
If we go to the ocean, I won’t be the only one wearing a swimsuit.
Wait, why didn’t I realize this until now? Who else was supposed to go?
Actually, there was no need to even think about it. The moment Professor Cathy decided to tag along, it was a disaster.
Monopolizing his gaze in a bikini? That was nothing short of a crazy dream.
“I’m totally screwed…?”
This was no time to be rolling around eating potato chips.
Without hesitation, she called a friend who was a fellow underdog like herself.
“Yu-na, what are we going to do…!”
[…What’s going on?]
She called the friend who was perhaps in even bigger trouble than she was.