Chapter 137: The Idiot Regressor in a Ruined Novel World.
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 137: The Idiot Regressor in a Ruined Novel World.
That day, the Witch of the Time Flower spoke to me about Authority.
She said that Authority is a miracle performed by a god.
That, in the end, it is merely the result of gathered human desires.
Individually, they are worthless, but when those desires coalesce, they make the most magnificent things possible.
However, she said there was something else, something far more important for a miracle to occur.
In the end, I never got to hear what that most important thing was.
* * *
My mother’s funeral was held.
I didn’t attend.
I dragged my broken body and devoted myself to training.
I was told I might die, but for some reason, it didn’t feel like I would.
No, to be more precise, it felt like I was playing a game.
Right—everyone around me, except for myself, was an NPC.
There wasn’t a single human soul among them; they were just puppets programmed to give set responses, so it truly felt like a game.
Wait, was I a character too? Having my birthday fall on the anniversary of my mother’s death—how cliché.
Then one day, Cheon Yu-hak came to find me.
Did he say he was going to snap me out of it?
Since I couldn’t fight back with my broken body, I just let him hit me.
He looked at me with an expression that seemed unable to accept something, but I didn’t give a damn.
Sometimes the servants would badmouth me behind my back.
Did they say I didn’t look at them as if they were people?
So, I laughed in their faces and confirmed it.
“That’s right. I don’t see you as people. No, not just you—my high-and-mighty sister, my father, none of you seem like human beings to me!”
When I told them that, instead of getting angry, they looked at me with eyes full of pity.
It was beyond ridiculous.
How dare these puppets try to imitate humans?
Until I entered the Academy—no, perhaps until the day I returned to my original world—was this suffocating life going to continue?
I hated it.
I truly hated it.
It felt as if I were the only entity in the world drifting aimlessly, disconnected from everything.
* * *
Time, which felt like it would never pass, finally flowed to the day I could enter the Academy.
At first, I didn’t plan on attending the entrance ceremony.
If I go, I’ll die, so why the hell should I participate?
So, I intended to just pretend to head toward the ceremony, kill some time, and then head back.
“Hey.”
Yeah.
That means I tried to go back, but I couldn’t.
It was a girl I had never seen before.
Yet, for some reason, the thought that she was a puppet didn’t cross my mind.
“Did I or did I not tell you to keep your body in one piece until I met you? Why are you such a mess?”
Ah.
The way she smirked was the spitting image of her smile.
“Uh, don’t you dare use that ‘I didn’t recognize you’ line again… wait?”
I ran to her and threw myself into her arms.
I needed something to cling to.
“Uh…!? What!?”
There was one. Something for me to cling to. Something I had to protect. Something that wasn’t a puppet. Something with meaning still remained for me.
“Hey…? What’s wrong? Are you crying…?”
I felt like I could endure it somehow until the time came to return.
I shouldn’t have felt that way.
* * *
After attending the entrance ceremony, I didn’t do much.
I simply recovered my body with the potions she made using her Authority and waited slowly, preparing to defend myself.
There were those I could have saved if I tried, but I didn’t feel particularly guilty.
It’s not like real people were dying anyway.
And then, the carnage unfolded.
Except for me and her, everyone near the wall was slaughtered, and the hall was plunged into terror at the appearance of the monster.
Everything proceeded according to the original work. The only difference was that she and I had survived.
That’s how it should have been.
Lilac fought desperately. Surprisingly, Cheon Yu-hak began to assist him.
Even seeing that deviation from the original, I didn’t do anything special.
Just once.
Because Lilac made a moronic mistake, I instinctively parried the monster’s attack in his stead, just that one time.
That was all.
But that was the problem.
From then on, Lilac stuck to me like glue. Well, fine. There was no harm in being close to the protagonist. He needed to get stronger anyway if we were to see the end of this.
I was genuinely shocked when my roommate turned out to be Kang Ha-ni, but I tried my best not to get involved with her.
When Cheon Yu-hak approached, I pushed him away harshly, and when Lee Yu-na picked a fight, telling me not to hang around Lilac, I didn’t back down and we just traded blows.
“…Did I hang around him? That moron is the one coming over on his own.”
“Watch your mouth if you don’t want to die. I hate you because you don’t look at people like they’re human. I’m warning you, don’t loiter around Lilac anymore.”
…People? You guys?
You, who are nothing but puppets that just drift along without changing anything unless I do something, are people?
Laughter bubbled up, and I didn’t hold it back.
Lee Yu-na, taking my mockery as a provocation, threw the first punch, and we fought until both our noses were bleeding.
There were occasional stimulations like that, but in the end, Academy life was boring as hell.
Perhaps finding it pitiful that I had no friends, a character modeled after Professor Cathy approached me.
She was going to die anyway, so I had no intention of giving her any attention.
Whenever Kang Ha-ni and Lee Yu-na started a fight, I just left because it was a nuisance.
Lilac would try to stop me, and the two of them would throw a fit at me, clearly displeased with that sight.
Kim Ga-eul died.
…I felt a bit uneasy, but I dismissed it, thinking it was just a character dying, and forgot about it.
And so, an abysmal Academy life passed, not much different from the original except for the fact that I was alive.
Sometimes the puppets would talk to me or act friendly of their own accord, but I ignored them.
It’s a bit pathetic to be playing with dolls at my age, isn’t it?
“So-hyun, I believe in you!”
Whenever we did group activities, Lilac would often tell me he believed in me.
Believe in what, exactly? I’m probably the person you should be most wary of in this world.
By the standards of your justice, I’m the villain who can never be forgiven.
…Well, those who were meant to die died, those meant to live lived, and the main story arcs passed one by one.
Finally, the final story of the first year at the Academy began.
Originally, this incident was supposed to happen a bit later, but she used her Authority to trigger it early.
“Because it has to be now.”
At the time, I wondered what she meant, but I just let it go since it was her doing.
Looking back now, maybe she intended it that way from the start.
Because she is the one who loves and yet curses this world more than anyone.
Maybe I wanted to deny it.
I could have noticed, but I looked away, using the excuse that I didn’t have the luxury to care.
A massive event occurred where Belphegor, the King of Sloth—one of the Seven Demon Kings—crossed dimensions to attack the Academy.
A cliché story where only Lilac, with his talent for the Holy Sword, could pierce the demon’s heart without taking damage.
A plan was devised: while other professors and cadets stalled him and dealt with other demons, Lilac would slay the Demon King.
I knew it well.
Because in the original, this is where you truly begin to stand out.
Do it.
I thought nothing would be different.
So, I put in half-hearted effort.
I saved those who were supposed to live and let those who were supposed to die, die. If it was ambiguous, I didn’t care.
I thought it was foolish to exert energy on an episode that would have passed even without me.
I never imagined he would do that.
I didn’t know he would struggle forward, trying to save even those I had abandoned.
The Chairperson’s talent erupted.
The Demon King’s movements were halted by the broken ability to manipulate the flow of the atmosphere.
For some reason, Cathy—who hadn’t died yet—and other characters opened the path to the Demon King’s heart.
Exhausted to his limit, Lilac ran, gasping for breath.
He charged forward, severing all the Demon King’s tentacles with his glowing Holy Sword.
What do you mean you believe in me? You can do it all by yourself in the end.
He fought well, and finally, the Holy Sword pierced the Demon King.
Immediately after, as if his strength had failed, Lilac stood there, trying to catch his breath.
And then, squelch, a tentacle dripping with demonic energy pierced through Lilac’s abdomen.
…Huh? Was there an event like this? No, there wasn’t.
Suddenly overcome with anxiety, I ran.
He was smiling like an idiot. It resembled the smile I hated, which made it unpleasant.
“Heh, heh. See? I told you we could do it.”
What are you talking about? Get up, you bastard. You’re not allowed to die. You’re the protagonist.
Normally, the light of the Holy Sword would have purified the demonic energy, but perhaps because he had overexerted himself, the weakened light couldn’t even push the energy away, let alone purify it. It was because he had saved people in my stead.
“Thank you for going along with me when I pushed myself, even though you hated it…”
How did this happen?
“Ah, sorry… I’m… dizzy… Yu-na… please…”
With those final words, he never opened his eyes again.
Lilac, the protagonist of this world, had died. Because of me and her.
…Wait? Then what happens? The ending? The end of the world? Going back?
Wasn’t everything supposed to follow the original flow regardless of what I did? It was a set story and they were all puppets—wait, they weren’t? Then what have I been doing all this time?
Nausea surges up.
The truth I had vaguely known hits me with brutal reality.
As I stood there panicking, she approached me.
She had a surprisingly calm face.
Or was she? She seemed to pity me and looked anxious, but at the very least, she didn’t seem angry.
“Why are you worrying so much? Is there a law saying the protagonist has to be Lilac?”
Her hand glowed.
That light was Authority.
It was a blessing that made one submit, controlled them, and made it so they didn’t have to think about anything.
As I bathed in that light, my mind grew hazy, but at least the pain seemed to gradually fade away.
Even so, I harbored a question.
…Then who will take his place?
“What is there to worry about? I told you from the start, as long as we reach the proper end in some way, it’s fine. So let’s do it this way instead.”
Do what?
“A bad ending is still an ending. It’s foolish to side with the heroes when Lilac is gone.”
Are you okay with that? The world will change completely.
“How many times do I have to tell you? Is this pathetic world more important than you? So what if some characters die? They aren’t real people anyway.”
Is that so…? Right? They’re all fakes, and it’s all meaningless, right? There’s no need to worry, right?
As the last remaining doubt vanished, my mind became even more clouded.
Yes, going back is what matters. Nothing else needs my concern.
By the time she withdrew her hand, no questions remained in my mind.
After that, I don’t think I hesitated much.
It was easy. Hurting someone or betraying them as she ordered was something I could do without much resistance.
At first, I didn’t even feel much regret.
They were just puppets anyway, so what was so hard about killing a puppet? Who would complain about breaking a doll when the owner gave permission?
I grew my power by betraying the villains who were on the verge of their goals while pretending to cooperate.
I took characters already destined for ruin, broke them even further, and used them as tools.
I moved forward, deceiving with lies, subjugating with violence, and killing those who obstructed me.
Thinking it was all fake anyway, I pushed through, suppressing the loathing and rejection that occasionally pierced through the brainwashing.
That foolish delusion and hypnosis began to truly waver after the duel with her.
A woman who should have died long ago was still alive, blocking my path.
Cathy.
Perhaps because she was modeled after my benefactor, guilt throbbed whenever she stood in my way.
[I don’t want to kill her. I wanted to take her hand and beg for her forgiveness.]
So, I resolved to kill her.
Until the very last moment before my short sword pierced her, she reached out her hand to me.
‘Even though you are someone who can never be forgiven, if you have the heart to atone, I will help you. As a teacher who failed to set you right.’
Even as she was stabbed by me, she smiled, as if she didn’t resent me, but was merely saddened.
Starting with her, those who were not like puppets despite being puppets began to appear.
Lee Yu-na, whom I had used on the condition of revealing the truth behind Lilac’s death, fought me numerous times to kill each other after she realized she had been deceived.
‘I came all this way to kill you, and it’s still not enough?’
[I would rather die by your hand than kill even you.]
She wasn’t this kind of character. Can a puppet change its own fate?
I must not doubt. The moment I doubt, I will stop again. I’ve sacrificed so much to get here; there’s no way I can stop.
‘I like that you don’t look at me like a person.’
[I am the one who made you that way. I am the one who cannot be forgiven. So please, don’t look at me with that face.]
The Sword Ghost, who had lost her humanity and gone mad for the blade, headed to the battlefield at a single word from me.
In the end, I used her as a sacrificial pawn to take down Arcadia, which had allied with the government.
The image of her dying with a smile, saying she had finally cut down the War Demon, was still vivid in my mind.
I know I shouldn’t be like this.
I felt like vomiting.
Am I feeling guilt now, of all times? Do I even have the right?
After treating so many as puppets, using them, and betraying them to get here?
I want to collapse, but I can’t.
The public enemy of the world. The most cruel villain. The slaughterer of heroes. A demon who disposes of even fellow villains for his own gain—that was me.
There is no turning back.
The selfish delusion that I had to move forward because I couldn’t stop pressed down on me like a compulsion.
‘I will fulfill my responsibility for failing to stop you that day, right here.’
After I brought down the government and Arcadia, a hero who had poured everything into a deal with an otherworldly god and become a monster stood before me with a spear.
It was dangerous, but in the end, I was able to defeat him by even mobilizing the Authority of the Creator.
I crossed a sea of blood, moving forward solely for the purpose of returning.
Because the hero who would have stopped me, the protagonist of this world, was already dead.
And so, I became the demon who brought ruin to this world.
And around the time when no one was left to resist me anymore.
Even then, when those who remained showed themselves trying to protect those weaker than them, calling themselves heroes, and when I, who had so desperately ignored the truth, finally began to doubt myself.
— Is this the conclusion you envisioned for this world?
The Lord of Myriad Worlds, who had been silent for a long time, spoke.
My mind was worn away.
I didn’t want to do anything anymore.
The brainwashing she had placed on me had long since lost its effect.
But I couldn’t just remain silent.
There was something I absolutely had to ask this being, who resembled a god and was at least greater than I.
— What a truly foolish question. Are the people living here puppets? Are they just characters? I am not kind enough to give an answer to someone who already knows it.
— You said it was a world for you. Did you say it was a world only for you? Did everyone living in the world you wove look like toys to you?
Ah, right. I knew. I just came all this way out of spite.
I wanted to run away because I didn’t want to admit my mistakes. It was a tantrum.
Despite swearing I wouldn’t, I clung to her again because I needed a place to hide.
Even though doing so only meant losing myself further.
— Anyway, it was wretched, but fine. This, too, must be the end of a world. If this is what you call a completion, then I shall admit my expectations were too high. Therefore, I shall send you back.
As the end approached, the loathing that had been piled up behind the wall of brainwashing came rushing in belatedly.
What an idiot.
Why did I deny something so obvious until the very end and even ask about it?
Was I insane? No, that’s not something that can be excused by such words.
Perhaps the reason I stubbornly came all this way was that I needed a place to escape, hoping they would answer that everyone was indeed a puppet.
This isn’t right.
So I can’t let it end like this. It must not end like this.
“It’s not over yet.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
It wasn’t out of stubbornness. I was certain that if I returned like this, nothing would come of it.
I would still be a human who only ever loses things, and I would try to depend on her, who had begun to break.
Furthermore, the fact that I failed to atone for my mistakes would eventually swallow me up and destroy me.
I can’t let that happen.
My life was always one of regretting that it was too late.
In fact, if I thought it was already too late, I should have stopped there instead of moving forward.
But like someone intoxicated by misery, I threw a fit and only made matters worse.
Unlike her, who was flustered, the Lord of Myriad Worlds began to show interest, asking what I meant.
“Hey, what are you talking about all of a sudden? We can finally go back!”
Whenever I was struggling, she would give me potions or items using her Authority as the Creator.
Thanks to that, I became the only human in this world with more authority than even her.
Because my very body was in a state of living through Authority.
As if she had anticipated such a day would come, the Witch of the Time Flower had told me:
“You said the Creator’s authority can even overturn the laws of the world.”
I may not have the qualification, but I have more than enough Authority.
— That is true. What, are you going to try and save everyone who has died so far? It won’t be enough.
That’s right. But that alone isn’t enough.
I’m going to do it over.
I’m going to set back everything that was ruined because of me. It was a series of wrong choices. This time, I won’t make a mistake.
— The return you desired so much is right before your eyes. Does doing it over now make your sins disappear?
I didn’t want to go back; I wanted to run away.
Even if the sins don’t disappear, I can at least do my best.
“Who says you can do it over? What are you going to do over! Do you know what we sacrificed to get here! No, wait. Right, it’s just a novel. It’s weird to feel guilty just because some characters died! Is that more important than going back with me!?”
She reached out to me again.
But this time, I won’t depend on you.
You must have hated this world so much that you wanted to act as if it never existed.
But you shouldn’t have thought that way.
Although this place is based on our novel, it was a world where things we didn’t write clearly existed.
I knew that, but I tried to ignore it and caused too much trouble.
So I can’t go back like this.
We failed to learn what we were supposed to learn in this world and blew the opportunity that finally came our way.
So let’s do it again.
“I say so. You bitch.”
— The Witch of the Time Flower worries for you. Your soul is far too unstable.
— That woman is right. I was disappointed, but it is right for you two to return. Your soul is torn to shreds, but it is still closer to your original world than this one.
— However, if you experience something abnormal like regression, your soul will be worn away, and it will perish, unable to withstand the shock. Even if a miracle occurs and you endure, you will no longer be able to maintain your original form. You will inevitably become a resident of this world. Then, it will become difficult to ever return to your original world.
— In the first place, even if you go back to the past, you won’t be able to fix your greatest regret. Since you are paying with your Authority, the body you healed with it will become fragile again. Even so, do you intend to make such a foolish choice?
“I don’t care.”
No? Rather, it’s better. I needed something to ease my guilt.
I was an idiot.
Even though I was always the one making the wrong choices, I tried to find the cause elsewhere, not in myself.
So this time, I will grab the last chance when it comes.
For the first time in my life, I will make the right choice.
“Let’s make a deal. Witch of the Time Flower. Lord of Myriad Worlds.”
In exchange for seeing the end of the world, I will regress instead of returning.
The price for exercising the insufficient miracle is the Authority dwelling in my body.
— Your soul will be worn away, and you won’t be able to remember everything. You might even be degraded into a different being entirely.
It doesn’t matter. For the first time in my life, I felt certain.
Certain that this choice was absolutely not wrong.
Even if I lose my memories and only my emotions are passed on, I won’t be wrong this time.
I will help those I hurt because I thought they were just puppets, and I will stop denying the feelings I had for them.
— If that is your choice.
“Don’t be ridiculous! Who do you think is going to just watch!?”
— We will respect it.
She tried to do something, but the light of the miracle enveloping me was a bit faster.
“No!”
Along with a scream, she poured her remaining Authority into me.
Immediately after, an unbearable sense of lethargy took hold of me.
My mind was a blur, unable to recall a single thing. Worn away as the price for defying the flow of time, my very existence was beginning to fade.
Just as I was shattering into nothingness, someone forcibly caught hold of me at the final moment.
The fragments that had been scattering into the void reassembled, and I regained my form.
For the first time in my life, a miracle had found me.
* * *
When I came to my senses, I stared blankly ahead.
My head was spinning, yet the surrounding scenery came into focus with strange clarity.
The dizziness made it hard to remember anything precisely, but no matter how much I racked my brain, the last thing I remembered was nothing like where I stood now.
Was this an auditorium?
Scores of students were gathered in the hall, waiting for something to begin.
A strange sense of déjà vu washed over me.
This was undoubtedly a place I had never been, surrounded by people I had never met, yet for some reason, I felt as though I knew exactly what was about to happen next.