Fire Me If You Can

Joseph had pretty good instincts. This was partly because the knowledge from the original story let him handle situations the right way, but mostly because the man himself was simply sharp as a blade. And the most recent thing this sharp-eyed bastard had correctly guessed was that Lev Pernov was watching Irina Pernova’s growth with pure admiration and unfiltered joy.

After all, no matter how gruff the man seemed, he had a deep well of affection inside. The result was overprotectiveness, sure, but every single thing Lev did was for his sister. How could he not feel good seeing her face finally bloom?

‘Thank goodness. It’s the first time I’ve seen our cute Irochka this happy, both outside and in.’

So right now, all Lev had to deal with was tiptoeing around his furious little sister after the marriage proposal incident. This was exactly what Joseph had predicted. But Joseph always overlooked one thing: his good instincts never looked only at himself.

‘─He is truly a hero. His mere presence was enough to intimidate even me, yet the more time passes, the more I realize what an outstanding man he is.’

The reason Irina wore such a bright expression was entirely thanks to Joseph. ─And how could Lev possibly feel nothing toward him?

The Demon King Slayer. Commonly called the Silent Sword Emperor. He made no effort to get close to anyone at the academy. He never attended balls or social events. If you caught sight of him, it was only during a former professor’s class or occasionally on the rooftop, fiddling with something in his pocket. Despite a physique and face that could intimidate anyone, he was a quiet, gentle soul who returned clear smiles to any student who greeted him. Yet with a sword in hand, he would be terrifyingly strong. All of this was considered virtue in the North. So for Lev, Joseph was even more appealing.

Therefore, that blunt heir to the northern grand duchy made up his mind.

‘I’ll thank him for treating my sister warmly and perhaps ask for advice. Even a simple conversation would be fine. I want to know him better, and maybe this will give me a clue to reconciling with Irina.’

So Lev, who rarely asked favors of his house, had cautiously requested a bottle of premium vodka from the grand duchy’s underground vault—the kind that went down smoother than water—and had been wandering the school today to deliver it.

But.

But….

Thud.Thuuud—.Thuuuud—.

“───.”

From far down the corridor where no one should be, Lev sensed someone—no, something—approaching. An overwhelmingly alien presence that had no right to exist inside the academy. His arms tingled. His legs went numb. His whole body shook.

─This is wrong. I need to run.

“...Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Run? The heir to the grand duchy?”

Lev quickly rebuked himself for the uncharacteristic thought. Before he could even wonder why this was happening, he forced his heart down and tried to face the being walking the corridor with open killing intent.

Tap—. One step. Tap—. Two steps.

The closer it came, the clearer its shape became.

“...Professor. Sir Joseph─.”

It was the very man he had been searching for all day. Joseph. But at the same time, Lev might have glimpsed it: around Joseph, something like black flames seemed to rise and burn.

The sight made his breathing turn deliberate. An oppressive weight pressed down on him until his knees threatened to buckle.

Swish—.

“......”

Even though Joseph clearly noticed him standing there, he paid no attention. He didn’t even spare a glance. He simply pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it.

This was a school. To be smoking openly like this, wearing the exact expression of a yaksha from his demon-slaying days… Lev instinctively understood. If he disturbed that mood, he would die. No—he would definitely die. It was certain.

...At least, he hadn’t thought the man who did such reckless things was like this.

And in the exact moment Lev’s mind froze—

Rip—.

Joseph tore the ivory tower badge from his professor’s coat and held it quietly in his palm.

Lucky for him, Lev’s head worked fast. Seeing that, he could infer one thing immediately.

‘He’s no longer a professor…? Right. Then he wouldn’t care about prying eyes. But that only makes this worse. Something serious must have happened.’

Knowing and acting, however, were completely different. Even with that realization burning in his chest, the overwhelming difference in presence paralyzed his body. His twitching toes refused to lift from the floor.

But.

But….

Creak—.

Thankfully, Sir Joseph continued toward an area with no people. It was probably the rooftop he frequented. The moment the heavy iron door to that place burst open like it had been kicked, the murderous aura Joseph carried finally began to fade.

Only then could Lev finally move his feet.

“Hoo… Hoooo……”

He let out a helpless sigh. Today, Lev Pernov had learned with his own body why the man had become the Demon King Slayer and earned such praise. Seeing really was believing.

“No need to go out of my way to tell him how angry he looks. But I should let Irina know. ...That girl might be the one who can slip into the empty space in the professor’s heart.”

He’d give him the vodka later. ...It was expensive. Not something you could just buy anywhere.

It had been a long time since he’d chain-smoked this much. He didn’t bother counting the cigarettes, but by the time the one between his lips had burned halfway down, his head had finally cooled.

And to be brutally honest, this Joseph was fucking pissed. No—goddamn furious.

Looking back now, the treatment he had received from the school side so far had been completely unacceptable. If someone of his caliber said he would become a professor, the proper response should have been, ‘Oh my, is that so? Yes, yes, right this way. We’ll pay your salary with a blank check.’ He hadn’t expected that much. But thinking about it, it had been this shitty from the very first day, hadn’t it? He felt embarrassed even calling himself a national hero who had carried the nation on his back, yet they threw ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠all preferential treatment for war veterans out the window. Just because he had come to the capital, they treated him like trash and jerked him around more than once or twice….

Still, thanks to that half-Joseph hegemony born from the real estate fraud, he had no choice but to remain clearly in the weaker position. Above all, he was a parachute salaryman who had entered on Lord Laval’s trust, so he had no choice but to endure it. He was good at enduring. It was the only thing he knew how to do. So he endured.

But when they started using the students as leverage and half-threatening him to bare his belly, he couldn’t endure that.

Sssip—. He pulled the smoke deep into his lungs. It cleared his head.

But… was storming out like this really the best move?

‘It’s not the worst outcome. If I’ve been humiliated this much, Lord Laval will definitely understand.’

Yet the bastard who got angry because they brought up the students—was it really right to abandon those same students in a fit of rage? It didn’t add up. It just didn’t add up.

Still, he soon wiped those naïve thoughts from his mind.

“Somehow, I was thinking like my brother.”

Our brother. If it were Lord Laval, he would naturally do his best for the people around him. If their positions were reversed, he probably would have endured this humiliation for the students he had built bonds with. He wasn’t called a hero for nothing. He became a hero because he was the kind of man who could.

But compared to that, what was I?

I had always been a swordsman. All I could do was take on the dirty work so the hero’s hands stayed clean, ripping out the enemy’s throats like a butcher. To put it more essentially, the reason I saved the world wasn’t out of a desire to protect humanity like Lord Laval. It was because if I just sat still in this world I had fallen into, I would die.

Yes. Disgusting. Pathetic. Grotesque. But that was exactly the kind of human I was.

“I only ever look out for myself.”

So when something this fucked up happened, I eventually showed my true colors. Knowing it would end up this way, I had consciously kept my distance from the students at the start of the semester. After this one year, they would all disappear from my memory anyway. Except for Sion, they probably wouldn’t even answer my calls.

But in that moment, while searching for the attendance book I always carried—the one I had left in the headmaster’s office—I suddenly thought:

Then why… did I take such good care of the kids in my class?

As Adelheid said, I was the one who had stabilized the Forget-Me-Not Class after the previous professor gave up and fled. I looked after Sion. I helped Irina grow. I took Zikrinde as my apprentice and even created a pointless swordsmanship club. I pulled Alun out of hell. I covered for Luluah’s double life and guided Valentina back to a proper path. I silently resolved Tiel’s rampage.

Why the hell did I do all that…?

Fuck….

“I’ve stayed here too long. With Lord Laval.”

When we first met, I should have just told him not to worry. That I’d ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠be fine alone, so he should go far away.

Tap—. By the time he sucked it down to the filter, the cigarette ash that had kept its shape finally crumbled and fell. Was it just his imagination that it looked as withered and fleeting as he felt?

But suddenly, he could reach a conclusion.

‘…Let’s not sulk. Still, I should go back.’

If it were Lord Laval, he would say he was returning because the students were pitiful. But Joseph decided to think like himself. After everything he had done, if he just said “GG” and walked out, it felt like that bastard would steal everything. And that pissed him off.

So in front of the decision to return, there was no “if Adelheid accepts it.”

“It’s doable.”

Because he had already run all the calculations. It wasn’t that he had liked any of this, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠but he had done it because everything would explode if he didn’t clean it up. Just as the man had pressed him with the words, “There is no one but me who can take charge of this class.” That had been Adelheid’s attempt to stimulate his guilt and persuade him, but if the same words came from his own mouth, the meaning changed a little, didn’t it?

Remember their first meeting. He had praised the Forget-Me-Not Class’s results, and he had done so again just earlier. What did those words mean?

‘From the school’s perspective, I am objectively an irreplaceable asset.’

However.

Unlike the previous professor who turned pale at the uncontrollable noble ladies and fled, I had held the Forget-Me-Not Class together, made everything run normally, and now came saying I would quit. If that old woman had a working brain, she would understand the difference. She would know that if she didn’t hold onto me now, things would go very badly.

‘If I return now and they say they’ve already found a new professor so get lost, that could happen.’

But that would actually be better.

‘The kids in our class know me best. No one but me can handle them.’

The weight sitting on this position I occupied—honestly, even if you sat my grandmother here she would run away. Probably the same for Adelheid’s mother. That was clear from the previous professor’s example, and it was a fact I could state with certainty because it was my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠job itself.

─A new toy? Bring it on. Let’s see how long it lasts.

Step. Step—.

So after stuffing every cigarette butt into the portable ashtray, I headed for the headmaster’s office.

Creak—.

I didn’t knock.

“Headmaster Adelheid.”

She was standing there at a loss with the broken desk, circulating mana all over the room in a panic. She clearly hadn’t expected me to return; her eyes sparkled as she looked my way.

“Sir Joseph, you…”

She seemed wary of me, but after sucking in enough nicotine I wasn’t boiling over. My voice came out strangely cold.

“─I did it because I was angry, so please just let it slide. I’ll apologize.”

“H-how can I possibly let this slide? I did realize my slip of the tongue was excessive and regretted it, but you have no idea how much my heart has been in my throat since then…”

Aha. Her heart had been in her throat. Perfect. That meant my guess had been right. Somehow it reminded me of the audience with the emperor. It had felt similar back then.

“Fine. If you’re too angry to let it slide, then just fire me.”

“.........”

As expected, when I said that, Adelheid was completely stuck. The corner of her mouth twitched; she had probably been trying to follow the scenario I had imagined, but she knew it was impossible.

“If you can’t fire me, you can simply reject the resignation I submitted earlier.”

“...Very well. Let’s do that. With this, we’ll consider that nothing happened between us.”

“No.”

I snorted. The positions had reversed. Who the hell was deciding what?

“I still have more to say. As one employee to another, I’d like to make a rather bold request.”

“...Speak.”

“In exchange for enduring the early reinstatement of Usteria that you ordered, there are things you must give me. Three of them.”

Her fingers twitched. But she didn’t refuse, which meant she was telling me to list them. I held up three fingers in front of her.

“First. All educational decisions regarding Usteria will be made by me, her former professor. This is non-negotiable.”

“T-that much is perfectly fine. I intended to do exactly that from the beginning. The academy trusts you, Professor.”

Is that so? Thanks.

“Second. No matter what the elf clergy demands, there will be no decisions made over my head while still following the first condition.”

At those words, Adelheid broke into a cold sweat.

“......That is.”

“Since you’re a scholar too, Headmaster, I assume your brain still works. Even so, since you ask, I’ll answer plainly: I intend to continue doing things my own way as I have until now. So you, as headmaster, should bear the political burden like a proper boss.”

“......”

“Do you think I wear this hat for decoration? If you have a subordinate, the boss should cover for his mistakes. And let me say this in advance—I’m an accident magnet.”

She had no other choice. She nodded.

Then, the last one.

“Third.”

“...Yes.”

“Raise my salary.”

“That… Well, it is possible, but.”

“Double it.”

If someone said the longest negotiation had been over the last condition, who would believe it? But since it was such an outrageous demand, even I had to take one step back. So I added,

“If you do that, I’ll take responsibility for the broken desk in the headmaster’s office.”

And I smiled brightly.

“Deduct it from my salary.”

Fire me? You want to fire me? Then go ahead and try. If you think you can.

The next day, as if announcing someone’s return, the white horse carriage of the elf clergy came to a dramatic stop before the academy gates. The door opened. Long pink hair like a witch’s. Pure white eyes that held no light at all. Or perhaps eyes that contained every light in existence. The being radiating that strange atmosphere stepped onto the academy grounds for the first time in a long while.

“Aah…. What a truly magnificent view it is~. It really has been such a long time since I’ve been at the academy, it is.”

She spoke in a bright, cheerful voice that made anyone listening feel good. Clasping her hands together, she offered a prayer to the holy statue at the main gate.

“─It seems Father went through a lot of trouble negotiating with House Kelga to lift my suspension, so I should offer my thanks.”

“......♬.”

And so the being known as Usteria opened the door to the Forget-Me-Not Class, humming a spine-chilling little tune.