Chapter 36 - Problem Children, Yet the Strongest: A Bond Forged by the Book's Fiery Punch to the Tongue
As expected, that Scoville index surpassed even the capsaicin-drenched fire chicken. Last night, I burned through all my time pondering what the hell to do about it. The result?
Today, I headed to work as usual, checked on the students, and separately told Sion to come to my office before lunch.
"Spring rain's coming down. Can't just say let's dive right into lessons like always."
I glanced out the window at the pattering rain. For a moment, I focused on the eternal plague of professors everywhere—processing administrative paperwork unrelated to teaching.
Then came the faint patter of small footsteps outside the door, followed by a knock on the wooden frame.
Knock knock.
"Professor. This is Duchess Sion Lagrange. May I come in?"
"Come on in."
Sion entered with that radiant face she only shows around me. But the smile tugging at her lips suggested she had some expectations about what might unfold.
She didn't just step in—she subtly scanned the room, taking in every corner of my private professor's space with wide-eyed curiosity.
Makes sense. Staff rooms always feel like mysterious realms to students... well, not exactly a staff room, but close enough.
Any other student might tense up, worried about slipping up. But with our relationship, there was no need for distance—she could savor it freely.
Yet she never lost her ducal poise, like a baby duke bird strutting proudly with tiny steps.
Heh. Cute.
"Since you're here, I'd love to offer you some tea, but I've only got two options. Coffee or black tea... what'll it be?"
"Hmm... what do you think?"
She sat ramrod straight with elegant grace, one hand on her knee, the other drawing out her fan to wave it demurely.
Considering the romance-fantasy lingo ingrained in her...
This just means the man—me—gets to decide.
Answer's obvious.
"Coffee it is."
"Oh my. Why's that?"
"Never seen you drink black tea, not once."
"...Ufufu, how thoughtful."
"I'm a brute. I just go with what I know."
Good choice, apparently. She kept that smile glowing inside, radiating satisfaction like she wanted to pat my head.
Whatever. Even if she seemed to have shed this world's skin, she was still a noble lady from a romance fantasy.
No reason to gripe, though. Moments like this were so her, filling me with a strange sense of contentment.
"Ahh, thank you. It's been ages since I had tea brewed by Uncle... I mean, Professor."
"Haven't crossed paths much since retirement. Swing by now and then if it's not too often."
"How could the Duchess of Lagrange commit such an impropriety? Just this brief care is an honor."
Is that so. Truth be told, it gets boring, and paperwork's a bitch. I'd love if she dropped by to up the room's beauty concentration a notch.
Sure thing...
To explain why I'd called her, I opened the desk drawer first.
Scraaape.
Out came Uroboros' Legacy, wrapped in sealing golden chains.
"—Oh? Professor?"
"If you're about to ask if it's sealed now, yeah, did it this morning."
"……..."
"That's how you store grimoires you won't use. You know that, right?"
I touched the book with my gloved left hand and held it out to her without a word.
No casual uncle-niece or teacher-student chit-chat this time—the weight of it might not land right.
Time for some tough love.
"What do you think, miss? Looks like no way in hell, doesn't it?"
"...Yes."
"Spot on. Like I said yesterday, I'm keeping it for a while."
She froze. She'd probably anticipated it, but hearing it so bluntly must sting.
"Will you tell me why?"
I steadied my breath and answered.
"This book's a piece of trash. Even if you pored over it now, I doubt it'd do you any good."
"Eh? No way. It's... based on records from Lagrange's ancient texts, investigated over months in a remote territory's castle."
Really now. My lady's been treasure-hunting in her spare time.
"The seal wasn't fancy, but something worth hiding like this can't be weak, right?"
"Tch."
"—And you've sealed it now, Professor. Even I can tell it's no ordinary item."
"You nailed it!"
"What's that supposed to mean? Between us... tell me the truth."
Honestly, I figured she wouldn't buy it anyway.
But bullshit doesn't cost a dime. Just tossing it out there.
I didn't want to reveal I knew her inner world, or mumble through my own ordeal.
Whatever the case, if she bought this explanation and backed off, it'd be the best outcome for me.
Knowing she wouldn't fall for it easily, I had to come clean.
"Fine. Truth is, I opened it last night."
Her purple eyes lit up.
"What happened? Did you understand it?"
"Beyond understanding—I had hallucinations."
"...Hallucinations?"
My hand instinctively went to my suit's cigarette pocket, but I held back for her pretty face.
Talking about this takes more than usual resolve.
But if she wants to peer into my abyss that badly... fine.
"...Just old memories resurfaced. Comrades who died slaying the Demon King. Right in front of me again, close enough to touch if I reached out."
"Th-that kind of hallucination... Are you okay...?"
"You wanted honesty, so here it is: no way in hell. It's the type I hate most, then and now."
How she interprets it is up to her. But she seemed to grasp it instantly—her mouth opened and closed silently.
"...Come to think of it, first time telling you about this stuff."
"Yes. You've never... said a word about the war."
"Figured you didn't need to know, so I skipped it."
A faint smile escaped me, unbidden.
No relief, but it was amusing—a veteran like me, forced to humble himself like this.
"So yesterday, when you asked if you see me as an adult... good call."
"……..."
"Without that, I might not have mustered the guts."
"...Uncle."
Hey, watch the titles.
"Anyway, this book drags out the weakest sentiments buried deepest in your heart. Amplifies power to match that pain."
"H-how should I take that...? For you, it was war."
Didn't want to, but I nodded.
"Yeah. Not everyone can be like your father. Feels late to say, but that's another reason I respect him."
"Eut...!"
I stopped there. Should be enough.
She didn't pry further. Instead, she layered her hand over mine on the book.
Tap.
Cool, soft sensation atop my hand. Our eyes met briefly, then flicked away.
"...Sion?"
"Dangerous book."
"You get it?"
"Just to be sure... You're worried I'll go astray using it, like you did?"
No reason to deny. That's exactly it.
I nodded. She gazed at our hands, then laced her fingers through mine with gentle pressure.
—Whoa. Hey?!
She glanced at my fluster, then smiled like I was the cute one.
"If you'd taken off that glove you always wear on your left hand, it'd feel even closer."
...Damn it. When did she grow up enough to tease adults?
"If that's really it, keep it as long as you want. Took effort to find, but I can't ignore your concern."
"...Thanks."
Her yielding like this? All I could do was grovel.
Was ready to throw a tantrum on the floor in the worst case, but her maturity earned major points.
"Hits hard, though. As Lagrange blood, I wanted to ace the hero selection prep. Now I need another path..."
"On that? I'll back you. Definitely."
"—Yesterday's thing with Countess Zigrinde?"
"Yeah. Didn't detail the seizure—just that part."
She looked reluctant but willing to hear me out.
"Plenty of time till hero selection. I'll open a sword path for you. Even after this mess... as a veteran, I've got the chops."
"—That means."
Right then—another knock from outside.
Bang bang bang.
Not Sion's refined taps—this was door-smashing force.
Anyone could guess who.
"She's here."
"Professor— Professor! You called, I'm here! You inside? Coming in!"
My plan, in a nutshell...
Problem children, but the strongest.
That's it.