Release the Rabbits
The next day, I abruptly took a day off. Sure, saving it up meant money in the bank, but the situation looked damn urgent, so I didn't feel like skimping on something like this.
"……."
In truth, I could think of it as a reward for perfectly overseeing that duel, and everything would fall into place nicely. But what the hell—this wasn't some weekend getaway to a distant beach. No, the place I'd ended up was none other than the Imperial Palace, and that alone pissed me off right now.
When I'd decided to retire, I hadn't imagined for a second that I'd ever set foot here again.
But my current state was like a frog in boiling water, thrashing peacefully on the surface without realizing its body was cooking. And turning into that was something I hated even more than things getting complicated.
...Keep it together, Joseph. The emperor isn't the leisurely type. You'll have to wait a while, but wrap this up as fast as possible.
Besides, lingering too long would mean getting tailed by that palace ghost of a man, and then he'd start blubbering about what the hell our conversation yesterday was all about. But that wasn't something to worry too much about—forgiveness always comes easier than permission, after all.
I knew full well how much of a burden my brother was shouldering just to cover for me, so I had zero intention of causing trouble. I was here to prove it with results.
"I request entry to the palace. Make way."
As I approached the front gates of the Imperial Palace, a newbie guard who looked stiff but laced with a hint of disdain scanned me up and down and said,
"Please present your means of identity verifica—"
"Hey, you—!!"
"Senior...?!"
"What the hell do you think you're doing? To him?!"
"Wh-who is he...?"
"—His face! Look at his damn face! Are your eyes knotholes or something?"
The senior guard recognized me instantly and laid into the rookie, his eyes practically spinning. Aigoo, scary stuff. Go easy on him.
Well, yeah... it's been about five years, so it's no surprise if he doesn't know me. Kinda weird that anyone remembers at all.
Being deferential was part of a guard's job, but that poor newbie looked like he was about to get skinned alive. Folks in the streets supposedly all liked me, but seeing as this guy didn't even know my face, that praise must've been pretty superficial.
But I knew better. A figure who'd tried to bury himself in the sands of time over the past years wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms everywhere. So it was only natural.
Thus, I responded to the rookie's gaze with a tone just as stiff and formal.
"I am Joseph, sword of Hero Raval Lagrange."
"L-Lord Joseph—? Ah, it's you, my lord. Forgive me for such a blunder—."
"We're sorry, my lord! It's been so long since your last visit that the new guy didn't recognize you."
No, don't take it to heart. I'm not petty enough to get offended just because someone doesn't know me. Hell, I'm more like a rotten, shriveled nut with no energy left to care about that.
"My business is an audience with His Majesty."
But at my words, their faces hardened.
"Five years ago, His Majesty mentioned something."
"What do you...?"
"I didn't send word ahead, but back then, His Majesty said to come anytime if I needed anything. I'm just here now because that's when the need arose."
Of course, it was probably just empty words. But if I took them at face value, even an emperor whose every utterance weighed a thousand gold couldn't ignore it.
With that, I shut my mouth and said nothing more. Silence was clearly an outrageous pressure on them.
And sure enough, all they could do was...
"Enter the palace!"
"We'll urgently inform the higher-ups."
Open the gates. Clear the path.
"Man, this place... hasn't changed a bit since five years ago."
The palace layout. The ornate pathways. The needlessly flashy etiquette. All too familiar.
But I didn't have to wait long before an eunuch came rushing toward me with these words:
"Lord Joseph, His Majesty commands a private audience with you."
"I see."
"Please follow me—hurry your steps."
As expected. I'd noticed it from how he'd been grilling Raval to fish for info. When the mysterious figure who'd been playing hard to get suddenly popped up again, curiosity must've gotten the better of him.
I followed the eunuch with a rotten smile bubbling up from deep in my chest, its reason unknown even to me.
* * *
"Lord Joseph, Lord Joseph! What a delight to see you—truly a welcome face! I was secretly troubled to hear that the sword of the Demon King Slayer had retired to the countryside. But now that you've reversed course, you're showing your true, legendary prowess once more. I've longed to see you again someday!"
Fancy words. Empty flattery. But with the Demon King on my resume, it was the rote lie of praising merits—at least.
Just as Raval knew the emperor well, I knew him too.
"My thanks, Your Majesty. I haven't forgotten the grace of your recognition and appointment. Thus, this humble servant has come to pay his respects."
So I played along roughly, bowed once, and showed humility without even daring to look up at him.
How's that? Like my tail-wagging skills?
"—If we were to continue praising the man who fulfilled the empire's greatest wish, we could go on for hours and still fall short. Better to cut to the chase."
"……."
"What brings you to claim the promise you made with Us?"
What else? You senile old ghost—you know damn well...
I went straight for the direct approach.
"When I heard Your Majesty had taken an interest in me, I came running."
At that, the emperor narrowed his eyes for a split second he probably didn't even register, then flashed his signature benevolent smile.
"Daytalks are heard by birds, night-talks by rats. It seems Our words are the sun that can't be hidden in one's palm."
Translating that rom-fantasy speak: —How the hell did you know, you bastard? You're in cahoots with Raval after all, huh?
I admit it. But it's a meaningless guess. Raval and I becoming a single unit of fate, sharing rice and tears—that's a long story stretching back to my broke-ass days. It's as obvious as 1+1=2, so calling it a "guess" is just the classic tyrant move to rattle a subordinate.
But keep the goal clear, and the point sharpens; his wits will shine through. That's what I believe.
"This servant has no intention of troubling Your Majesty. Rather, the time Your Majesty spends taking interest in a man like me..."
"Ho...?"
"...is far too precious amid the empire's myriad grave matters. I've come only to offer this impertinent counsel."
In short: Please. With so much on your plate, quit wasting suspicion on some guy who quietly vanished to the sticks and came back. You damn geezer.
But the emperor wasn't your average sly fox. Without so much as a scoff, he fired back instantly.
"Haha, how could We not take interest? With a legendary figure like the Demon King Slayer's sword alive and well—how could We not deign to glance upon your fate with admiration?"
Is that so? Fine then. Perfect bait tossed right when I was too tired for verbal jousting.
"Your Majesty's high praise only makes this servant feel all the more insignificant."
"No need for such words. You're an extraordinary man."
"I'm nothing of the sort. Killing the Demon King was sheer luck. Now, I'm just a pathetic wretch who couldn't even achieve the retirement I dreamed of—swindled and stripped of everything."
"...Hmm, is that so."
At that, the emperor openly furrowed his brows and sulked for a moment. Fair enough.
His intent was to hype me up as some grand figure, puff my ego to the skies, then frame my achievements as a threat—classic rabbit-trap-for-the-hunting-dog move from an emperor eyeing disposal. But I'd preempted with a self-own: I'm total shit.
Now I was genuinely shit in a way that defied his script. If that didn't sit well, he'd have to keep propping me up like, "No, you're the best. For real. Why fight it when I say you're awesome?" But an emperor who lives and dies by face couldn't spew desperate flattery forever.
I hate this crap. I play dumb to survive. But when it counts, I can deliver. If not, I'd have been tailed and erased under Raval's watch ages ago. Hell, right after slaying the Demon King would've been prime time to off me—before I got too inconvenient.
But even rotten, this emperor was a terrifying force who could brand me a traitor with a flick of his finger.
So, to keep his unease from turning into murderous impulse, now was the perfect moment.
"Your Majesty. But all this is merely the trivial life of one Joseph—unrelated to the greater matter I wish to discuss."
"...Ah, yes. You did say you came with weighty concerns. We are ever ready to heed your loyal counsel. Speak."
At that, I didn't even need to sigh—delivered it straight and heavy for emphasis.
"After slaying the Demon King, I've felt something within me. I thought everything would end with his death, but it didn't."
"...What?"
"Remnants threatening the empire... I can still sense them."
Well, this might be info only I in this world truly know. I do have the world's creator as my cousin, after all.
"What do you mean by that, Lord Joseph?"
Sure enough, the emperor blinked in uncharacteristic stupefaction, staring at me.
Not calling me 'you' anymore? Only 'lord' when it suits you, huh? Yeah, you were looking down on me.
But screw the snark—this was genuinely shocking. Like Lulua's mom going berserk: with the Demon King dead, all demonkin should've crumbled... Logically, remnants surviving was absurd.
Yet he couldn't dismiss it outright—not with the shadowy silhouette of the Demon King slayer rippling darkly at my feet. He couldn't ignore it. Not from me, at least.
"We cannot take such words from you lightly, Lord Joseph. Pray, elaborate."
"Gladly."
Of course he'd ask. A vigilant emperor's natural response.
But from that question on, Isaac III had to realize: blind distrust could plunge humanity into flames again, depending on the case.
Let's see. 'Catch the rabbit, then boil the hound,' right?
But if that rabbit's packed with kits? What does the wise owner do? Obviously, the smart thing.
Sure enough, the emperor's old, flaky fingers began anxiously drumming the jade throne's armrest. But like his brows earlier, the rhythm dragged unevenly at times.
And seeing that, I knew for sure.
He's rattled.
It landed.