Criminal Incompetence #7: Deaf to Tank Demands While Germans Tinker with Anti-Tank Rifles
While the German army busied itself making anti-tank rifles, the Korean army turned a deaf ear to demands to hand over their tanks. When the Germans threatened to build their own otherwise, Korea just shrugged and said, "Fine, go make them." From Korea's perspective, Germany wasn't dead enough yet. Instead, Korea—the Supreme Leader, that is—decided to fan the flames, letting Britain and France keep up their glorious dogfight with Germany.
"Let the imperialist powers beat each other bloody and die?"
Hard to agree with when you think of the comrades dying caught in the crossfire. But the war was already underway, and comrades were dying. So at least the outcome had better be worth it.
Lenin, expelled from the Bavarian Soviet Republic. Yet up to now, he'd been playing bridge between the Italian Socialist Republic crafted by Mussolini, the German Federation, and the Bavarian Soviet Republic from his base in Switzerland. Mussolini was a reactionary traitor cozying up to Christian right-wingers and monarchists, and the Bavarian government had betrayed internationalism for Germany—but he couldn't let go of the dream of revolution in Europe.
In that sense, the proposal from that revisionist in the east was downright devilish. Supplying black oil—the imperialist byproduct—to Germany. Via Italy and Switzerland.
Britain could blockade almost any country by sea, but not landlocked Switzerland. So what about Italy? Oil sold to Italy flowing to Switzerland and fueling Germany? What crime was that for Italy? Hard to pin blame, especially with Italy maintaining its pro-British neutrality.
The revisionist aimed to exploit that gap. One thing was clear: squeezing gold from those Germanic imperialists appealed. It wasn't built on the people's blood, after all. Lenin didn't deny that revolution needed money.
Just one hitch—if British and French intelligence caught wind, they wouldn't let socialists like him off easy. Germany would shrug at buying pricey oil, but Britain and France would brand him a full-blown German sympathizer. Italy's sovereignty might shield it from crackdowns, but socialists?
"Well, when have we not been suppressed?"
On second thought, suppression was a constant for them. Already under the boot, no reason to hold back. A little oil to perk up the Germans—would they head east or west? East meant guzzling oil with slim odds; west, just enough to smash trenches and break through.
With any oil-like substance, Germany would crank out tanks and charge west, of course. They'd want to end the western trench slog with their own tanks first. Spotting Britain and France developing tanks via spies? Even more reason. Unless the Germans were total idiots, they'd know from experience that trenches were just tank fodder.
Terrified, they'd rush to deploy tanks before Britain and France could, smashing the western front. If the eastern front threatened, all the more so.
The Supreme Leader knew this. Korean forces on the southern front had seized Constantinople, the Ottoman capital, effectively ending the Ottoman civil war—no, obliterating the empire. Like the Fourth Crusade.
Kemal, coastal artillery commander at Gallipoli, was holding out in a last stand, but he'd surrender soon enough. Then the straits would open. No more schlepping tanks by rail—ships could ferry them. Worst case, just steam straight to Berlin. Oil-less Germany couldn't stop that. No way.
The problem? Britain. Yeah, Britain was the problem.
"The Indian troops are refusing to fight alongside Sudanese forces. Any solid countermeasures?"
Indian and Sudanese troops both spoke English. Indians were pro-British English speakers; Sudanese were straight-up Americans! So Korea bundled them together. Worked fine at first, with English speakers—actual Brits—temporarily enlisted in the Korean army leading them.
But now, with those Brits losing interest in the Balkans, right this moment was the issue.
"Indian disobedience and black slacking? That's par for the course. Just shove them into coastal guns?"
No! A silent prayer for the Sudanese and Indian troops mangled under their command so far, then the Southern Army Group commander pondered solutions. The Supreme Leader's secret directive: mold Indian and Sudanese forces into real armies for prime use post-independence in India and Sudan.
Park them on coastal guns, sure, easy life—but then what was the point of bringing them? They needed combat experience. Not babysitting artillery!
This mess had escalated all the way to the Supreme Leader.
"Urging Mussolini—the knight who brokered compromise between monarchy and mobs—to push not petty border squabbles but full-scale intervention and offense. In my view, better focus there than stabilizing the Balkans."
That Mussolini, taking my oil right now? Half earmarked tentatively for Germany—hilarious.
"Or vacuum into Gallipoli?"
"Nah, that's a nightmare waiting."
Gallipoli? Bad dreams already. Churchill grinning from exile.
Of course, no formal Anglo-Korean agreement—just opinion swaps. If Korea botched Gallipoli, Britain's reaction was predictable. Korea didn't trust Britain. Trust the trustworthy.
But Korea knew what to trust instead: the Ottoman—no, Turkish prime minister's "We'll give it all" pledge. A nation vanished overnight from double civil war decapitation ops at war's start. How to carve up the collaborationist government now? Korea's call.
Diehard local holdouts denying Ottoman collapse? Let Germany set up an exile government. Kemal was pinned in Gallipoli anyway.
Even Britain—"England" of the imperialist Anglo-American axis—would puff up at this "all yours" pledge. Korea waved the Adana Treaty—or pledge—and Britain nodded. Agreement came quick. Korea's terms were reasonable; before idle France meddled, split the Ottoman pie.
Temporary allies against Germany, but colonial rivals otherwise.
Egypt, Sinai to Britain. Iraq, Trucial Oman to Korea. "What about us?" "Take from mine." Kuwait to Japan. Redraw borders, snag the gems—Britain, Korea, Japan squared away.
Now, justification for the carve-up: Arabian Peninsula independence. Arabian Federation Republic founded. A secular state, discrimination-free Islamic republic—ignoring camel tribes and existing sovereignties in a brazen redline. Britain and Korea? Didn't care.
"Federation republic? Sounds good. Unite under Islam—it's for your own good."
"Korea's too kind. But management gets easier."
Korea wanted to curb Islamist terrorism among those pure believers; Britain, prevent Arabian civil wars spilling over—lest the canal burn. Yemen, Oman? Secure oil and canal, Britain yields.
Toss France Gaza and Jerusalem (Korea's claim), Beirut and Syrian coast (Britain offers too). Then eyes up.
Armenia independent as Greater Armenia. Secure sea route to Trabzon.
"Armenia wants Mediterranean access?"
"Too big, Adana's no-go. Turkey's holy site."
"OK, Black Sea it is."
Armenia got Black Sea access per Korea. "Korea, Kurds independent?"
"Kurds? What tribe, what country?"
"Persian kin; Persia wants it."
Thought we'd nixed Kurds... Didn't fly with Korea, so Britain lobbied. Fine, Britain's ask.
Britain pointed to Mosul in Korean Iraq. "I'll detach Mosul from my Iraq."
Korea agreed. Mosul had oil, per Supreme Leader's intel. Armenia got sea; Kurdistan oil. Both? Oil synergy huge—hope they cooperate.
Britain said overlap zones were vast. "Feels like that'll spark a brawl between them."
"Let 'em."
Beyond Korea-Britain's scope anyway. Just independence pretext.
Britain cared for newborn Arabian Federation. But one holdout in their crisp deal:
"Constantinople to Greece for Bosphorus control."
"No."
Britain wanted pro-British Greece via Constantinople handover. Korea: that's the head, not a limb. Plus, mostly Turks there—oppression incoming. And straits mattered to Korea too. Britain wasn't alone.
Ultimately, Korea eyed gifting straits to Soviets. No bowing.
"Can't rip capital from surrendered nation. If Russia steams Berlin, Britain agrees?"
"Not surrendered yet?"
"?"
"Ottomans surrendered; straits still held by fighting Ottoman forces—not Korean control. Admit it?"
"Admit. But time issue."
Narrow, risky approach; Gallipoli not yet Korean. Britain noted. Korea hoped Kemal surrendered soon, but he denied all, corking straits from Gallipoli. True national hero. Foe, but.
"Want Korean long-range naval guns?"
"Constantinople garrison key."
Britain's point: Greece's king vs. pro-British PM feud. Back PM. Secure Greek cooperation for Gallipoli landing, let them shine, hand Constantinople.
Tempting for Greece—no tussle with Korea, boot kebab tyrants from peninsula, claim city. Support surges on entry; skyrockets on win.
"Know Korea's battling Germany. No more than naval fire support. But Constantinople? Korea doesn't need it, right?"
Didn't. Kebab head issue. Planned to lop for Soviets later. But now, kebab head.
Britain's logic meant yanking from victorious Greece later. For Soviets. Turkey as loser? Excuses work. Greece? Tough. They'd cling to de facto Turkish Constantinople; Britain back them. Reveal Soviet aim? Britain thinks Supreme Leader senile, off to asylum.
If Greeks flop at Gallipoli, good. Success? Big headache. Korea bought Turkish coin; Britain Greek. Inevitable clash.
Korea yielded one step to Britain. Gallipoli headache, plus future asks piling up—build goodwill now? Tricky.
Britain must guzzle Korea's "special brew" later. Spit out colonies too.
"If Britain yields big on Poland, Korea agrees."
"Block Polish independence?"
"Recognize, but only from defeated Germany, and only old Teutonic Order lands."
"Mostly Germans there now?"
"Irrelevant. Defeated status matters."
"OK."
Britain offloaded most Polish turf like breathing. Toasted historic accord.
"Great Britain governs Egypt and Sinai for Suez protection and intercontinental navigation freedom."
"Korean Empire governs Iraq and Trucial Oman for Muslim civilization, Hormuz protection, oil supply security."
France: pilgrim/Christian protection. Japan rode Korea's coattails sans statement.
Key: not cession, but governance over Ottoman-void ethnic/regions post-collapse. Korea's no-reparations/no-cession principle held.
That sufficed for Korea.