The War to End All Wars #3: Bang! Bang! The Crown Prince is Dead.
Bang! Bang! The Crown Prince was dead. His wife too. At the hands of Serbian nationalists.
"Go form your damn Greater Austria Federation in hell."
And the Crown Prince's death? That meant the diplomatic prelude to the World War had begun.
"Hold on! This whole thing is a communist plot!"
"Pardon?"
"Look here! Right here! A confession where he admits he was preparing the assassination on orders from the communists!"
He waved the paper around like a madman.
"It says right here in black and white: 'I was told it was just a car, I had no idea it was Austria's Crown Prince!' He's in police custody!"
"Does that matter?"
"…?"
Yeah. What mattered was that Austria's Crown Prince had met a screaming end in Serbia. Unless Serbia coughed up a truly satisfactory response, war was inevitable. Unless, say, they begged to become a protectorate.
Communists? Sure, they were communists. Pretty much every nationalist and independence movement in this world flew the anti-imperialist, communist flag. Nothing new for Austria-Hungary.
The real problem was Austria using this as an excuse to expand its influence in the Balkans. And what was wrong with that?
To Hungary—the eternal guardians of the Crownlands of Saint Stephen—it was a massive headache. They had to break free from Austria someday, and if Croatia got dragged along into the Balkans, landlocked Hungary would be isolated. Austria gobbling up the Balkans? Independence would just be a word; they'd still be on the colonial treadmill.
The Crown Prince's death? None of Hungary's damn business. How dare they lump the mighty Magyars in with those Balkan Slav trash stuck there.
Even the culturally advanced Czech Slavs were barely tolerable, but Balkan Slavs? No way in hell. Hell, they might've accepted a trimurti of Hungary-Austria-Czech without the Balkans.
So they went full work-to-rule.
"Let's hear Germany's opinion?"
"Russia's too?"
"Anyway, let's consult opinions."
Despite a few foaming-at-the-mouth types screaming for immediate war declaration, Hungary's economic clout might lag Czechia's, but their military sway matched it. They had pull. And they nailed it down: no blank check from Germany, no participation.
War with Serbia or the Russia behind it? The front lines would be Hungary's anyway. With zero prep, what right did Austria have to drag them into deciding war or no war? Absurd.
"Germany's issuing a blank check?"
"Oh, they are."
That changed things.
"Don't touch my Serbia, you Austrian bastard."
"What the hell."
Whatever bullshit came from Russia beyond those mountains—mobilization orders or not—the die was cast. With superpower Germany on side, that creaky Russian Empire was a sure win. Maybe it'd be fine?
Hungary secretly loathed those Serbian pricks too. Felt like stomping them once.
"Russia vows to defend our independence to the death!"
"Never yield to Germanic pressure!"
Russia declared mobilization, and Serbia mobilized nationwide for anti-Austrian resistance. Serbia didn't really want war, especially smeared with the assassin label. Ideally, escape the pressure without fighting, backed by Russia.
"This is all a communist plot!"
"What're you saying? You're the communist."
Sadly, most nationalists were in bed with communists, so the red scare fell flat. Whispers even spread: was the Bavarian Soviet nightmare resurrecting in the Balkans? Lenin, brushing his teeth in Switzerland, wondered if they meant him, then kept brushing. Austria concluded: crush those Serbian nationalist reds.
Italy, Czechia— Austria had yielded too much to reds already. Couldn't cave to Serbian assassins too.
"We, Austria, express regret at Serbia's failure to respond, and hereby sever diplomatic relations with Serbia."
"We, Austria, deem Serbia's rejection of our final ultimatum as confirmed."
"We, Austria, judge that the present issues can only be resolved by force, and hereby notify Serbia that a state of war exists as of this moment."
The World War had begun.
Just as the Korean Mobile "Army" heard of Russia's entry—and Germany's in response—un sealed its orders and raced toward Krupp, the Korean Empire sadly couldn't dispatch follow-up forces straight to Europe, despite jumping at the chance to join. Sure, no battleships since Britain begged but we weren't ready anyway. But the real army we should've sent pronto? Yeah, reasons for that.
The Chinese Civil War. Or as the Chinese now called it, the Second Thousand Ming War.
"Who the hell declared it the Thousand Ming War?"
The Mandate of Heaven holder, Korea, ain't even joining! What, winner challenges Korea in a tournament? Nah, probably 'cause Chinese are dropping like flies in real-time; gotta claim the Mandate or it ain't worth it.
Yeah, China: full-blown civil war raging.
Blue Corner: Sun Yat-sen's Shanghai Faction—no, Nationals—pushed from Shanghai, now resisting from Hong Kong.
Red Corner: Wang Jingwei's Nanjing Faction—no, Beijing Faction—fled razed Nanjing, hunkered in Korean-administered Beijing.
China's these two slugging it out. A North-South War vibe.
Politely asking Wang Jingwei to GTFO Beijing, but North China Autonomous Region ignores me, won't boot him and his cronies. Quit eyeing Korean intervention! Korea has zero interest. Win? Bloodbath. Lose? Ruin. Why bother?
While at it, set up a Nanjing puppet under Wang? Treating Chinese like monkey spawn. If all Chinese were Chu natives, sure. Sadly, no. Korea's got folks clinging to Chinese identity. They'd see us as bastard spawn.
Korea legitimately seized the Mandate—heaven's empire, not some Western puppet-maker. Lumping us in? Awkward, hard pass.
So talking to both: Beijing Faction and Nationals. How 'bout compromising with Beijing? Answer: no. Expected that. Push more? Looks like foreign pressure. Hell, maybe from the moment they squatted in Beijing.
Hmm, not pure paranoia. Korea's existence is pressure. Gotta clear those Beijing squatters first. But they know, clinging like glue. Can't they leave when asked nicely?
Power balance: Beijing Faction leads, holding Zhengzhou, Hefei, Nanjing, even Nationals' capital Shanghai. But purely military? Nationals stronger, armed with Western gear. War sprawling nationwide, Nationals hesitating: "This ain't right." Headbutts would've ended it with Shanghai win ages ago. So Beijing plants "provisional government" in my Beijing for a capital struggle. No confidence in slugfests.
But why my Beijing for your provisional gov?
Again: Korea dead-set against entering this Chinese mess. Win or lose, we lose.
"Your Excellency, Japanese troops landed in Hong Kong."
"Huh? What? Ahem... say again?"
"Civil war escalating endangers Hong Kong security; Britain requested garrisoning."
"...Why didn't I know?"
"Common sense: wouldn't fly with the Supreme Leader—or Prime Minister."
"Fair. Japs know me too well."
Admit it. Wartime, Japan's ops under Korean command. Issue: is garrisoning an "operation"? If Korea got desperate Taiwan garrison plea mid-war, need U.S. okay? Trickier than thought. My view: wartime, garrison's ops. But Japan skips Korean nod, dodges their PM (me), pulls this stunt. Oil high? Got cocky. Time for big stick.
"Those rusty battleships all docked in Hong Kong too?"
"Yes."
"Gotta decommission 'em."
Korea needs a battleship-vs-battleship test anyway.
"Uh, Your Excellency?"
"What."
"Fleet battle in Hong Kong? Britain's backyard, and you're Japan's PM."
"What're you on? Just requesting decommissioning."
"Ah..."
"With naval guns."
"..."
"But serve two masters? Britain's puppeteering Japan to pit Korea vs. China. Obvious."
Damn, Britain! Germany's sparking World War, and you're scheming? Wanna straight-up slap you. Knew it: their op. Korea grows stronger, these divide-and-conquer tricks multiply. Problem: can't shift to war economy/total mobilization. They'd think we're intervening, reigniting civil war. Don't? Cowards. Wrong signal: China can push Korea. Sad for both.
"So much for numerical superiority and depth from the start."
"Kidding on guns; advise Japan restrain. China's thin ice now."
"Yes, sir."
Korea must avoid stoking Japanese resentment if possible. Can swing stick, but real whack breeds enemies. Fine post-WWI; not now.
"Japan Navy to Britain as requested. Korean Navy holds position."
China mess knottier than expected. Tried deflating balloon; it popped. But fine. Not just military/numbers. Soviet way tough? American way works. End Eastern Front quick, let Germany scrap with France & Britain—best, but now second-best.
"Open wide."
Korea's oil reserves cracked open. Roughly 100,000 trucks rumbled toward Russia—Ukraine.