Rice Madness: Roosevelt's Third-Term Nightmare
Stand tall, you too! #4: In 1912, third-term President Theodore Roosevelt confronted utter madness.
"Black lives matter too!"
"Rice! Rice! Rice! Rice! Rice! Rice! Rice! Rice!"
He was just trying to reinstate tariffs, but these folks wouldn't listen at all. In that short time, Black Americans had grown accustomed to the astonishingly cheap rice.
'Just grow your own and eat it!'
'We refuse! We want Korean rice!'
'Please!'
The Blacks preferred Korean rice over American rice. This required understanding from multiple angles. Currently, most U.S. farm owners—especially rice farmers—weren't from the water-scarce West but from the water-rich South: whites.
...Yeah, the very ones who had enslaved Blacks and wanted to keep doing it. For Blacks still suffering real-time abuse, it was impossible to eat comfortably. Even closing their eyes and forcing it down didn't solve the problem.
"Ugh, American rice is too expensive!"
"Take responsibility for the dinner table inflation!"
"But what's the dinner table, anyway?"
"Beats me!"
The mere news of tariffs being reinstated caused rice prices to triple—no more, no less. Blacks who had scraped by on low rice prices now had to hit the streets just to survive.
"Normalize rice prices!"
"Withdraw the tariff hike! Freedom only! Independence only!!"
Before long, America faced Blacks attempting "independence" from themselves due to insane tariff policies.
White Americans felt a prickling unease. So they shouted:
Theodore was losing his mind over it all. He just wanted to reset the tariffs—what was the big deal? Was this the price of his longed-for third term? Theodore Roosevelt, who saw himself marching toward America's future, was fed up with both the Blacks craving freedom and the whites viewing them as slaves.
Leave the tariffs lowered? No way. Even cheap, that rice was too cheap—Blacks could work one day and eat for two. Unlike bread, which barely lasted a day. The problem? Naturally, other ingredients' prices would drop or fail to rise because of that rice and its rice addicts.
Inquiries were flooding in: "When the hell are you slapping tariffs back on rice?" It was driving everyone nuts for various reasons. He hated monopolies, not corporations outright.
"Even your rural base, Mr. President—the one that supports you—is starting to defect."
"I know. But wasn't that Democrat territory anyway?"
"...Still, this can't end without backlash."
Argh! Should he raise tariffs himself? No, that wasn't it either. Tariffs would be sweet, but the key was rice prices themselves. If prices rose due to factors beyond tariffs, wouldn't that work? The Blacks might rage at tariff hikes, but if production areas just raised prices naturally, they'd revert to their work-eat-work bread life.
He called the Supreme Leader.
'No tariffs, so could you raise rice prices? This dumping is too much.'
'Sure.'
The Supreme Leader cheerfully agreed to the emperor's rare request. As a bonus, he'd rebate 5% of the markup margin as "quarantine fees." Seizing the chance to stockpile rice and boost U.S. goodwill, the Supreme Leader issued a nationwide proclamation.
We shall stockpile rice for food sovereignty.
Daehan had never stockpiled rice—only booze—until now. The moment America's Black-White conflict spread as a rice crisis across East Asia.
The secret accord on rice price hikes between Korea and America was a Plaza Accord of sorts. Like most accords, the victims weren't participants Korea or America, but third parties absent from the table.
America dismissed Black plight as usual. Daehan could just switch to pork cutlets if rice got pricey. But other countries? Southeast Asia, already eroded by Korea's premium cheap rice, faced no greater nightmare.
"Rice prices are rising!"
"Isn't that good? Why's everyone mad?"
"We're screwed, you idiot!"
Indeed. With no land reform—and post-panic concentration of land in landlords and Japanese collaborators—Southeast Asia saw rice hikes as disaster. Even their pricey rice was selling to Korea.
'Rice export ban!'
'Bullshit.'
In panic-polarized Southeast Asia, pro-farmer grain bans were impossible. Newspapers screamed to sell more to Daehan for economic revival—self-praise included.
"Grow rice to eat!"
"Easy for you with land. Can't even find tenancy now, moron."
Already meager wages. Food taking most of it. Rice dominating food costs. Tripled prices shattered their reality.
"Even all my wages won't cover food!"
"That's why I said food sovereignty matters!"
"Shouldn't we check if you even have sovereignty first?"
"..."
They begged Britain, France, Netherlands—but colonizers saw Korea's cash flood as an economic green light. Korea, the firefighter eyeing spreading panic fires, was opening its wallet. Unlimited rice buys? Perfectly reasonable. Would cash-rich Korea—buying 40 years of U.S. beef—run dry?
They welcomed Korean intervention, tuning out Southeast Asian screams. Starving from rice hikes? If such folk existed, they were meant to starve anyway. Not their concern.
Some plotted to worsen the crisis for more Korean spending, but luckily, it died in discussion. Not out of Southeast Asian worry—Daehan seemed indifferent based on history.
"Nguyen, break's over. How long you gonna read papers? Get up, prep ingredients or the head chef'll blow."
"Yes, coming."
"You read French?"
"Ha! You underestimate me."
"Yeah, yeah. Go clean frog legs."
"..."
"Use our money to buy rice?"
"Using mine looks too obvious."
"Us buying looks more obvious, no?"
"Nah, it's natural for stakeholders like you. They won't bat an eye."
I had the Agricultural Cooperative buy the rice. If I did it, whiners would demand their cut.
"Turn stockpiled rice into rice flour, then bricks. No market release."
"Serious?"
"Daehan ain't some food-sovereignty worrier."
If rice vanished, we'd eat chicken, pork, beef. No biggie.
"We've prepaid 40 years of beef contracts."
"..."
"Not thrilled?"
"Don't worry. Rice demand'll keep rising—especially cheap."
"Cheaper rice births new markets."
"Think of it as one step back for two forward."
No, that's not it. Long-term rice hikes were boon for the co-op. Flour losses? Bearable. They just eyed the Supreme Leader's rice-price suppression intent.
Finally, glancing nervously, they spoke.
"We wanna get rich too."
"Sell rice dear?"
"...Yes."
"Hmm, necessary?"
"We wanna sell dear."
"Tricky."
"Let us sell dear!"
"Fine, more funds for breeding and markets."
"Please!"
No dice. Back off.
"Import rice to Southeast Asia."
"From India?"
"...Yes."
"Fatten Indians, save Koreans cash. Smart."
"Not the time."
"If not that, what? More curious."
"..."
"Do nothing. Really nothing. India and Ireland teach: half-assed meddling causes it."
Why ignore that?
"Korea ignoring Southeast Asia is our best. Still don't get it?"
"Buy all their rice?"
"Pour money there. Exactly."
The PM, claiming no spare cash, continued.
"We've learned botched pity interventions bring tragedy to primitives. No hints. They're suffering from hints now."
Henry slowly flung open the curtains. Women thronged with placards—fierce suffragettes defying the PM's strike veto of the passed women's suffrage bill.
"Elections matter, but empty promises lead to this."
Hand elections to women? Perfect nation-ruiner. Just recall that queen's British mess—Henry shuddered.
Women voting? Then women PMs after queens? Cabinet'd last a month. What gentleman obeys ladies, pays taxes meekly? Who keeps war discipline? Everything'd fail.
London Museum's Qing witch taxidermy? No such future.
"Grant one, owe two; two, owe three. Better trample with hooves than yield— that's surrender."
"But sir, we've yielded forever. This is clear vote defiance."
Defiance?
"They're defying themselves."
"Pardon?"
"Heard plenty of native societies led by women-mothers collectively."
"Odd, no? Why no modern civilization from women-led primitives?"
The PM eyed the clueless protesters beyond curtains.
"Women everywhere, like men. Not resources or frailty—civilization solves that."
"War culls women, shrinks tribe, dooms society? Why do some natives hunt with women? Just pros/cons."
"All pros/cons—not 'impossible' like now."
"Your point, Prime Minister?"
"Whites: most evolved race. Agreed?"
"..."
"Evolution means civilization. Civilization: bold alliances with yesterday's foes if needed."
Frustrated by Britain's state, the PM lit a cigarette, baring his deepest thoughts.
"Never seen women herds reconcile—or fake it."
"Why no vote for them?"
"Our parliament: splits, defections, betrayals—I like it."
Yeah.
"Shows Empire and civilization's sustainability."
But women voting? Democracy drifts to doom—threatening Empire, civilization. Extremists rampage, annihilate foes, self-destruct like natives.
Whites succeeded not by Africa's riches or Asia's numbers, but superior white-male society.
Now Easterners mimic us, surging. Introduce women—unneeded, failure-prone—to politics just 'cause they demand? Shoot me, drag from Downing Street.