Sun Tzu's Art of War #4: Cracking Open the Piggy Banks
Reparations from the Russo-Japanese War. Reparations from the Yi-Ro War. Special temporary budget for fleet reconstruction.
Before he became Japan's prime minister, Japan was truly up shit creek without a paddle. No gold or silver to its name, just mountains of obligations to redeem foreign currencies and debts piling up.
So the Korean Empire's Supreme Leader crossed over to Tokyo Bay, flashing Japan's freshly minted coins and the counterfeits he'd dumped in America, whispering, "Looks like your country's fucked."
To postpone this disaster, he presented two options. One: Japan becomes Ireland to Korea. The other: He takes on the Japanese prime ministership himself.
Truth be told, even he knew Japan had no real choice.
Thus, the Supreme Leader became Japan's prime minister. No sooner had he assumed the role than he methodically seized Japan's assets—its textile industry, battleship construction tech, zaibatsu conglomerates, orphans, prostitutes, you name it. Korea lacked all that stuff.
Selling off Japan's finished goods to Britain? That was just the opening act to gauge their market value.
Now, having stripped what he deemed necessary, he shifted to confiscating not Japan's assets, but those of the Japanese people.
Instead of shearing sheep, he smashed open piggy banks, right on plan.
"Your previous government printed a shit-ton of money, huh? And it looks like they even spread counterfeits."
The counterfeits were his own doing in America, but in this era, printing or dumping them was much the same. Only the issuer differed.
America's government was dumping fakes right then, after all.
Sadly, his bombshell didn't faze anyone—Japan's own citizens knew better than anyone how broke they were. No rebuttals, no gasps.
Right before he took over as PM, Japan's inflation had gone berserk. The kind of surge only possible by cranking the printing presses nonstop.
"Pay it back."
He grabbed the speechless Japanese by the collar, threatening, "Fix this or you all die."
In the 21st century, where national sovereignty is sacred, countries just default on debts. But back then, skipping out meant the nation collapsed for real. Hell, they were already under his thumb.
"Please, stop."
Despite pleas from Japanese citizens and Diet members to drop it, he stood before the Japanese parliament, waving memos of understanding promising America full redemption someday, clutched in both fists.
"You know this is all debt, right?"
To settle it, he hammered on about seizing Japanese individuals' assets via taxes.
"Print it."
In the end, it passed both houses.
Sob sob.
In a way, it felt like Korea was guaranteeing Japan's debts, leaving them speechless. A memo was still a guarantee. If they admitted no intent to repay, America wouldn't be the first to punch them—Korea would.
"Just kill us, you bastard!"
A few smart ones begged: if you're doing this, just open those vaults of "that money" and buy up rock-bottom Japan. But the Supreme Leader's vaults, sealed even to their own banks, weren't cracking for Japan.
Show even a hint, and bank presidents and co-op heads would swarm, whining for more cash for themselves.
Japan at rock bottom? Korea was deeper in the hole. The problem wasn't that he wouldn't sell anywhere—it was that no one was buying.
"Cough it all up."
After securing the Diet's surrender—or rather, authorization—he first seized gold, silver, and other valuables Japanese had deposited in banks as a property tax.
He left them 10% at minimum, but some got just that. As he recalled, postwar Japan once hit over 90%—this was damn close to their limit.
Even Japan's rich, mulcted of 90%, knew the government had printed wildly. No complaints. They didn't know about the counterfeits, though.
After months of squeezing Japan to the last drop, the Supreme Leader reached the finale: his masterstroke.
"America, America~"
"Redemption?"
"Ah, with 90% property tax, we cleared the debts—but no gold left, so can't redeem in gold."
"The memo just says full redemption, not necessarily in gold, right?"
"? What the hell, Korea?"
"Take silver instead?"
"You sneaky fuck?!"
"No choice—truly none. But if you insist on Japan's silver, I'll throw in Korea's gold."
"????"
"Rebate."
"Personal account."
"Deal!"
Dumping counterfeits to suck up America's gold, then using those same fakes as pretext to snag Japan's gold mid-redemption. Korea succeeded.
Using a sliver for America's gag, Korea recouped every ounce of gold and silver Japan had looted over the years—in one go.
With fierce resistance, better smash piggy banks than shear sheep or milk cows.
One final hurdle remained for Japan's silver standard revival: Britain.
Seeing it as prelude to Korea ditching its trade network, Britain wouldn't stand idly by.
But Korea offered Britain a silencing proposal.
"Lend us some gold?"
"…"
"Lend gold, or let Japan scrap gold standard."
"Oh, Korea's sticking to gold. Japan alone on silver—and we stripped 'em, zero gold."
"Plus, Japan's past gold loans? We'll repay in gold eventually, or equivalent value now. I guarantee."
"OK…"
Britain's top brass wanted to lend gold over shoving Japan down Korea's gullet, but Parliament balked. Britain was gold-short.
Korea's Chinese miners shipping gold helped, but the property boom fell short. Hell, even gold-lovers parked in 1% safe CDOs.
Give gold to Japan? On whose say-so?
To MPs, it looked like Korea punishing Japan—with cause. Korea was going gold standard too.
In a gold world, solo silver meant annual asset erosion by percentages—plus trade fees.
Why force that cruelty? Korea telling Japan: fuck off, trade overseas without me.
Made sense. Britain toyed with making Ireland silver-only amid their rebellions.
Ultimately, Britain nodded: "Just buy from Korea." Japan's silver revival tacitly approved.
Anyone could see Japan's recent treason rang alarm bells for Korea.
"Honestly, a bit scary."
Britain, having egged Japan on, couldn't oppose Korea's leash. Just worried Korea might go silver too.
That worry alone prompted action. Otherwise, whatever.
The Supreme Leader, toasting his rare win, got chills—spot-on read.
As Japan reverted to silver on "whose plot?", another Eastern power declared silver: Siberian Republic, Russian Republic, Emperor's Autonomous Territory. That one.
"As Comrade said, gold locks us under Britain and the Tsar forever," Lenin thought. So he acted.
At great cost.
"Dump some Russian silver in Korea, Comrade."
"…?"
"No funny business, and we'll value it high."
Water—or money—carrier offer. He'd ponder, but as he did, Korea's comrade: "Knew you'd bite, Red," upped it.
"Bring Tsar's gold, get people's silver."
Irresistible.
Laundering via silver, siding people over Tsar—heavy promise.
"Someday, ideological showdown with that comrade," Lenin mused. But eyeing Korea's devouring of neighbors, unlikely in his lifetime.
"Rejuvenates like that? Even if I did."
Sweat beaded his bald pate.
"Japan silver on the Peninsula, Qing silver in China, Russian silver in Manchuria."
"Perfect."
The Supreme Leader cracked a rare bottle, lying back moon-gazing.
Overheated Korean pounds replaced ideally by these junk currencies.
He dumped foreign crap cash on Korea. As junk flooded, averting Japan-sparked crisis, boom returned. Korean pounds vanished from markets, reserved for state deals.
This is a true reserve currency. Banco what's-his-face ain't shit.
As promised Lenin, he'd honor real Russian silver value—inclusive of Qing and Japan.
Pounds off markets? Thus, Qing silver, Japan silver, Russian silver orbited top trader, highest denomination, value-stable Korean pound guarantor.
Gold standard born of gold glut vs. silver scarcity? Ironic as hell.
"No more fretting currency shortages vs. nation size."
Mainline boldly now.
Like America: Korean pound wobbles? Qing, Japan, Russia absorb shocks.
Bad news tanks pound value? Silver-buying backlash preserves it.
"Vs. America's print-fest gains? Trivial. No one eats fodder even starving."
Qing, Japan, Russia? Perpetual shortage—Koreans, starved long, P'd it all up.
Luckily, East Asia overflowed silver—printable on demand.
"Bottom-buying, they call it?"
Unless they fuck with silver content or reserves, he'd happily play sucker.
Owners exist for that.
In a way, Korea outdid America. Yanks, preaching new order, umbrellas foes too. He skipped that—for America's foes: Russia, China, Japan.
"I'm isolationist anyway."
21st-century democratic ex-me? This brutal 20th-century world? Can't mingle.
"Rare outing, yet moon hides in clouds, ignorant of my heart."
"Your Excellency, Leopold's finally ditched his private Congo! It's free now!"
"Free? Under Belgium, sure."
Still, it'll rise soon. I have patience, know moons return. Enough.
By 1907, Korea matched Monroe America's faction depth—not fully, but close. Awaiting sunset moment.
Citizens traded silver daily, not pounds for Britain deals.
No problem-free path, though. Gold-silver bimetallism's messy. Expands supply, but worse than mono-standards.
Gold-rich want gold; silver-poor, silver. Bimetallism pleases neither—endless ratio fights.
To him, stemmed from single arbiter.
Solved one way: gold-silver swaps as forex, like Russian/Japan silver.
Era's forex rates: bilateral agreements.
Half-open Korea fixed official forex rates.
Citizens? No bitching.
Japan pounds in America? Traded 'cause partners. Else, forex bank, counterfeit scandal.
Gold-for-silver same.
Britain hated it: "Unify on gold?" He: "Lend first."
"Roughly scaled—time for sea power."
Planes, airships developing apace. Armored tractors, power packs, tracks too. Trans-Siberian doubles, triples. March drugs, painkillers, rations, boots ready.
But no sea power. Powers come by sea.
Subs sufficed till now—but offensive needed soon.
Post-WWI behemoth Korea? Powers might preemptively coalition. Minimum sea force to deter.
He feared postwar powers' ugliness more than war.
"Threats to colonies earned respect before. Now, strike homeland for it."
Thus, unleash ceiling-value Korean pounds.
Where? Britain.
"Battleships, on credit."
"?!!"
"Hope no last-time mishaps."
"Of course! VVIP rates!"
The Supreme Leader threw his hat in the ship race.