Wings of Freedom #6: Fools and Their Printing Presses
Back when I was shoulder-to-shoulder with my comrades, scribbling out that blood oath, Britain had no clue why they were sucking every last drop of cash from Korea while impoverishing themselves. Or rather, they did know.
"We need to issue CDOs too."
"You mean give up the pound? We, of all people? CDOs are pure fiction! Nothing like gold!"
"Real or fake, the wealth is flowing to that country. We're scooping it up by the bucketful, but even more keeps pouring their way."
"Then buy up European assets with the profits!"
"A lot of our funds are already invested in Korea."
"…"
To be precise, Britain was siphoning money from Korea. But by this era's standards, Korea was just too damn far away, and those "ships" of theirs were too damn small for the haul. Meanwhile, Korea was dumping CDOs across all of Europe—like a monsoon downpour.
If you want a metaphor for Britain right now, picture a guy bailing out a lake with a bucket during a drought everywhere else. Sure, it's fun scooping, and yeah, you're making bank. But—
"At this rate, we'll lose more in the European asset markets than we gain from Korea. The gold is flooding there."
"We need to sell CDOs to create another safe asset for Europe. Any more concentration in Korea isn't in Britain's national interest."
"Europe or Korea? Obviously Europe. A shrinking asset market in Europe isn't someone else's problem."
"Paris and Berlin are starting to issue CDOs too. They're asking us to open the path to Korea a bit wider."
I get it, I get it. All too well. Where did Korean CDOs sell the most? The London Stock Exchange, that's where.
"But aren't Korean CDOs only good in the safe-asset niche? Barely 2% returns."
"It's just 2% now, but it'll chain up to 4%, 6%, 8% later."
"We see potential here. It's crushing investment risk and emotional panic with cold, rational statistics, isn't it?"
They yammered on at the Prime Minister about how CDOs were the ultimate safe assets. And how much yield you could expect from those safe assets.
"We have to take this. If they market themselves as safe assets, we market them harder as investments."
"Even riskier investments, bundled Daehan-style, can get top safety ratings."
"Daehan's far away, so they can only brand as safe assets. But we can brand them as investment-grade safe assets."
"CDOs might pass as currency in poor Daehan, but in Britain?"
"Yellow monkeys make money—can't white men do the same?"
They trashed the yellow races in front of the PM, but the Supreme Leader had outplayed them again. The inventor of CDOs, after all.
"Prime Minister, we all know that Supreme Leader's a massive investor and asset hoarder. And CDOs? His invention."
"Prime Minister, he's slicing up CDOs. Turning them into CDO1, CDO2, CDO3—CDO1 just Daehan, CDO2 adds Japan, CDO3 even China. New markets nonstop."
"CDO3 hits speculative yields. A whopping 8% annual. And they still call it a 'safe asset.' It's catching on."
Shut the fuck up, all of you!
"No CDOs! What the hell—gold multiplying every decade?!"
Inflation, gold shortages—they always triggered Great Depressions. The country's already short on gold—what bullshit is this, you pricks?! Print more? Without gold? Again?!
"We know what worries you, Prime Minister. Gold shortage, right?"
"But if we keep going, we'll run even shorter."
Damn it, that was spot on too. The PM felt slapped.
This couldn't go on. Not trade surpluses—something more fundamental.
'Attack Korea?'
Something to whip people into a frenzy. While the printing presses spun, something to distract their eyes. Desperately needed.
One day, as the PM prayed to Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad—anything—for cash to rain down:
"Prime Minister, sir!"
"What?"
"Japan attacked Russia. They're condemning Russia's occupation of Vladivostok—and they finally snapped."
"What?"
"Korea's staying neutral. But Russia's gone to war footing. Korea's at risk too."
"Leave it be for now."
"Pardon?"
"No—pump it up! Not 6-to-1, 8-to-1! Sell eight for the price of six! Tell Russia it's already contracted!"
Japan had saved Britain.
Lee Wan-yong hadn't seen the Supreme Leader this pissed in ages. Back when the king suggested marrying into the Japanese imperial family for "good Korea-Japan relations," he'd blown up just like that. Lee quietly shut the door.
Did he know I wanted to give him space? That his rages gave me chills head to toe?
But Kim Ok-gyun's future wasn't as bright as Lee Wan-yong's. While the "diplomacy whiz" Lee had fluid duties, the "economics whiz" Kim had a packed schedule.
"Uh, Your Excellency."
"What."
"Pardon me, but... are you unwell?"
"Just pissed off, that's all."
Kim shrank back meekly. We'd been this close to nailing those British bastards.
If I'd taken the lead, we could've done it ages ago. But I hated playing the hero, so I waited patiently. For them to blatantly print money. For the world to see those thieving British shits for what they were.
And I blew it. Because of Japan. With all eyes on the Russo-Japanese War, no trace of their money-printing would remain. That's the world for you.
Even if caught, they'd spin it as "preparing for the war." No point.
"Your Excellency, CDOs aren't selling anymore."
"They don't see them as safe assets now."
"Following France, Germany, now Britain too—issuing CDOs. Even 10% annual products. We need at least that."
"In this gold-standard age, they're begging for inflation explosions."
Everyone's doing it, so it's fine? Brilliant logic. The fallout hits us all anyway.
Of course—can't beat them solo forever.
"Your Excellency."
"Your Excellency."
"Your Excellency!"
Everyone stared at my mouth. These cute little chicks.
I stayed silent, so they figured no answers and started spouting gems.
"Your Excellency, let's open the real estate market. Not funnel foreign cash through designated brokers—let co-ops self-report and sell freely."
"Didn't I say no room for eels to slither in?"
No real funds in Daehan—speculators running wild? Who knows what hell breaks loose. Real hell.
"CDOs are dead anyway. Call 'em safe assets till you're blue—no one's buying."
Listen to this guy.
"What? Elaborate."
"We were pioneers, now we're competitors. Who knows what smears they'll pull."
"Fair."
This was war now—stealing limited gold via CDOs. Far-off Daehan? Even I admit, not that sexy. Low yields, scant info.
"Open real estate even a crack, and it'll boom. Guaranteed. CDO demand skyrockets. Maybe 10%, more."
"Open real estate to save CDOs?"
"Yes."
"Nuts and bold. But intriguing."
"Thank you."
More plausible and exciting than expected—I cooled off, sat, and poured booze.
"Comrade, what's your name?"
"Kwon Jong-hyun, Your Excellency."
"Comrade."
"Kwon Jong-hyun, Comrade."
"My take: your problem is you're too damn honest."
"Honest... with words?"
"No need with those bastards. They're soaked in scams and lies. I secretly think that's the Eastern weakness—they assume the West is as honest."
That's why we got screwed all through the 19th century.
"Precisely: we Easterners have 'honesty serves my long-term interests' in our blood."
That's why we had to Westernize. Stick to tit-for-tat Eastern mindset forever? They betray every time—you just get fleeced.
Looking at these innocents, I got it. Why a 21st-century Westernized Korean like me felt contempt and pity.
"What I'm saying: Buddha to Buddha, pig to pig—but no need treating them like Buddhas."
I tilted my glass. To lighten the stiff mood.
"Those bastards think 'liar' is the ultimate insult. Not like us, where cursing parents is tops."
A sip.
"Think how often they lie—like meals. 'Liar' hits hardest."
Another sip.
"You know: Easterners yap 'filial piety' nonstop, but how many unfilial sons? Rotten parents? To them, 'liar' is that."
The General Secretary's eyes plunged into the abyss.
"Point is: why honestly prop real estate to sell CDOs? When did they ever build wealth honestly?"
I shook my head.
"All scams. Deception. Plunder. Even this CDO's a con. Why's it sexy to them? Just dressed-up chaos looks ordered—pure disorder underneath. Suits their tastes."
Exactly.
"Long-term ties? Guanxi? Mutual benefit? All good. But that's Eastern. With Westerners, prioritize self-interest over alliance. Here, Daehan's."
I yield forever? They just grab theirs. Bet on it.
"They even formalized 'mutual benefit' in economics. Before? Plunder and lies were the mindset."
Yeah. I trusted the British. They'd preach gold standard to guard privileges—then print behind backs.
So I waited. And blew the chance.
"So I won't blink if a million or ten million Brits die. Economy tanks, they starve? Let 'em."
Never liked Chinese much either. Nation of petty small-minded shits, no true gentlemen.
"They despise self-betrayers less than those who can't protect their rice bowl. No hesitation needed, really. Got it, Comrade?"
"…Yes, Comrade."
"Any more killer ideas? Speak, and I'll pour your next General Secretary's cup myself."
I refilled Kwon Jong-hyun's glass, waiting. For the next gem.
This was the Council Republic—no, Council Empire. Anyone could speak up. And it was allowed. Because I wanted it that way.