Rumors of Lard in the Perfume
Secret Society #4: The rumor circulating among Muslims—that Korea had used pig fat in its perfume. That malicious whisper spread like wildfire through Muslim society. And why not? The Korean Empire loved pork, after all. Which meant we weren't Muslims. That was the problem right there. Rejection purely because we weren't one of them.
The existing perfume merchants rebelled first. They were deeply unhappy with our low-price offensive. Our perfume was high-quality and cheap, threatening their livelihoods. Unlike canned goods or jam, where demand could expand endlessly—especially if imported from the Korean Empire—perfume was a luxury essential, a fragrance and cosmetic all in one. It held major sway in the Arab world. And here we came, storming that prestigious market with bargain-bin prices and high-volume sales. No wonder the pig fat rumor started. And once it did, good luck correcting it. There were no TV stations here to set the record straight. They probably wouldn't air it anyway. Sometimes you just had to take the hits.
Britain might install or co-opt a pasha or sultan over the Muslims to suppress them, but the Korean Empire didn't play that game. We didn't like Britain much, after all. We just exported perfume to them temporarily and kept selling jam and ice cream in the desert world as usual. Why? Because the Korean Empire—the Supreme Leader, that is—had patience.
Sure, the cooperative leaders who'd boldly proposed investing in the Middle East and nearly tanked their businesses were one thing. But the Supreme Leader had the charisma to soothe them and the personal endurance to wait it out. He'd permitted it himself from the start. Who'd suggested cotton or sunflowers to those cooperative heads eyeing Middle Eastern farming? The Supreme Leader himself. Who'd recommended perfume when they asked what would sell big there? The Supreme Leader himself. No dodging responsibility. Not even failure. He just seemed to have underestimated Muslim xenophobia a bit.
The Korean Empire must seem pretty easy pickings, huh.
Non-Abrahamic nations like the Korean Empire were always seen as somehow lesser by Muslims—second-rate rubes you could cheat without backlash, the square pegs of the world. I knew that full well. That's why I was always cautious in dealing with them.
Did it piss me off that they treated the Korean Empire like chumps? Not really. I saw them as even bigger chumps. Give someone money or power, and their true colors show. And on that front, with all that oil, the best they can do is mingle with those lowlifes? It's a waste of breath even talking to them. The Korean Empire might think it had to embrace even those types, but to me, it felt like more than a waste of time.
That's why I visited the Ottomans and Iran myself but skipped Arabia. Pure waste of time. I saw things worth learning in the Ottomans and Iran—former great empires, after all. That's no small feat. But Arabia? Even Iraq, with its famous Assyria and Babylon, I hoped it'd be different from Arabia... nope. Just typical Muslims. Indigenous folk who wouldn't hesitate to spread lies for profit. And the Korean Empire was no different. So no reason to yield to them, either.
"Even if they only use Korean perfume, we need to tamp down those false rumors they're spreading."
Their xenophobia? I could tolerate that. It was par for the course. But treating the Korean Empire like a pushover? That's another matter. If they saw us as easy, Britain, America, and everyone else would too. Look what happened to America after losing in Vietnam. Best not to intervene in wars at all. If you must, compromise quick for peace. If you can't, at least win. America did none of that. Hell, their own people turned anti-war.
To avoid those wars, best not look like a pushover from the start.
Being seen as weak invites provocation and crisis. So if Muslims ought to fear the Korean Empire, I'd make damn sure they did.
"Have a squadron or ten photograph Mecca from the air?"
I wouldn't bomb Mecca. No point making enemies. Just launch planes from the carrier in the Red Sea to snap pics from above. That alone would etch into their hearts the fact that the Korean Empire could bomb Mecca—the Black Stone they worshipped so devoutly.
To civilized folks full of spite, respond with civilized methods. To tribal pushovers who underestimate us, hit 'em tribal-style.
Rome treated everyone the Roman way, civilized or barbarian. But the Korean Empire thought differently. If barbarians eyed us wrong, we'd chuck the axe their way first. We respected local customs, after all. Embrace wasn't always best. It was optimal, sure—but not the only way, nor should it be. Sometimes respecting the locals meant playing their game. That guaranteed peace.
"Lee Wan-yong, it's been a while again, huh? Aren't you too busy these days?"
"...Isn't it because you ordered it, Supreme Leader?"
Lately, both Kim Ok-gyun and Lee Wan-yong were swamped with Soviet issues. The Soviets were a headache from start to finish.
"By the way, you caused quite the stir this time."
"Mecca?"
"Yes."
"Problem?"
"Shouldn't someone your age mellow out a bit?"
"Then get hurt."
No joke. Imagine Stalin suddenly going all-in on permanent revolution. America and Britain would freak. Predictability matters, damn it.
"No one dares say it, but everyone's uneasy."
"Yeah, figures. Some Easterner they quietly looked down on buzzed over Mecca without permission. Humiliating, especially since they couldn't even protest properly."
And funny thing—the Westerners colonizing the holy Arabian Peninsula? Crickets on that.
"They shut up because the West isn't a pushover? Then yeah, the Korean Empire still looks plenty easy."
Britain's scary, alright. Even losing ground to America, they still get no-pushover treatment.
"But Arabia's on our profit line, isn't it?"
"Right you are. But honestly, Arabia can get radical. Us looking weak is the bigger issue."
No joke. I always prepped Plan A and B. Since Israel popped up, my Plan A—peaceful Arab world for stable low oil prices—felt shaky. Optimal for the Korean Empire. But Plan B existed. Hell, maybe it was Plan A now. We were laying pipes to Baku and the Soviets. Torch the Arab world, let the flames spread West? Not bad. Downside: we'd yield to the Soviets some. Picnic for them. And America. Not ideal.
"If the Arab world pushes back hard, we'll just settle the Arabian coast ourselves."
If they tolerated Israel, they'd tolerate us. Enough violence makes it possible. I knew that.
"But honestly, the math doesn't add up. They might side with Britain or America instead."
True. Probably America—they had the oil thirst.
"Just give away the perfume tech. We barely use it anyway."
"For real?"
"We got it somehow too."
Fair. But it was blood money. Not for casual giveaway. The tech essence alone... And beyond that.
"Hand it out free, and they get spoiled."
They'd all come begging. Then the Korean Empire—not even a hegemon—bears hegemon burdens. All loss, no gain. Why carry that weight? Be it Soviets, America, First or Second World, I'd slot us in there. No founding a Third World. Right now, we split the world with Britain while allying America on decolonization and the Soviets on worker liberation. Why? Less time and effort than babysitting the Third World. Britain had colonial legitimacy built up, America sacrificial leaders, Soviets the ideology to cover it all.
Britain's got legitimacy, America's got cash, Soviets reform momentum.
That's why I avoided local factories when possible. Joint ventures if yes, none if no. Can't argue with that.
"Joint-venture the perfume to locals, apologize mildly with some planes, show off aerial seeding. Shift eyes from Mecca to the planes."
"What does the Korean Empire gain?"
"Less to lose than gain. Can't let oil fields fall to rivals."
Rivals? Compete with Britain and America? Why that hassle? Korean Empire goes straight for internal perfection. Let Anglo-Saxons handle world management, Russians world revolution. No exploiting our citizens for global games. Ends justify means? Time to end that too.
My old comrades who remade Joseon with me? Retired after hitting goals, age catching up. Me? No goals met, no retirement. No Manbangdo, no dodging world wars, not even safe lives for folks. People still worry. World too vicious. Peace feels distant. But it's my dream. I sensed mine and the Korean Empire's diverged. I could go aggressive on Arabs. Fits my life—protect what's mine, smash threats. No fuss over the discarded or sacrificed. Can't save 'em anyway, and that's reality.
But if that's the Korean Empire's dream, no. Especially if competing with Britain and America for real hegemony.
Can't we just settle for solid second or third?
Korean Empire sucked sweet nectar with second/third strategies so far. But now, through Lee Wan-yong, it demanded first-place strategy. Yield, sacrifice, but don't get dragged—true hegemon play. I'd yielded, resisted dragging, but lacked confidence for their-level sacrifices. Massive ones loomed.
I can't handle that.
Britain's gold standard, America's Marshall Plan, China's Belt and Road, Soviets too. Their hegemon sacrifices, structural costs—I had no faith in bearing them. Not in this lifetime.
"Thinking on it, not my problem anyway."
"Pardon?"
Recall America's boss—some future generation dumping that hegemony made sense. Not impossible.
Hegemon too pricey? Someone'll toss it in the mud eventually.
I'll build up just shy of it. Posterity can take over.