A Story Only I Know. (3)
A Story Only I Know. (3)
Six-year-old Lily was the exact same as Lily had been until now.
She was bright, positive, and a tomboy.
She was always running around everywhere, catching bugs to show off, and getting dirt all over her clothes.
Watching Lily made her realize for sure that people truly mature as they age, so to speak.
"Rache!"
"You got all filthy again, Lily."
"Yup! I catched a froggie!"
Five-year-old Lily's pronunciation was clumsy.
Perhaps it was a period when she couldn't speak very well yet.
Rachel washed Lily, who was covered in dirt and pond water.
From Lily's freshly washed body came the baby powder scent distinct to young children.
...Thoughts of her dead child surfaced.
"Wooow..."
"How is it? Isn't it amazing?"
"A super big fishie!"
"That is called a whale."
"Wayle!"
She went to the aquarium with the four-year-old child.
An aquarium built in the period following the Great War.
She thought it was impressive they managed to catch and put in something like a whale.
Watching Lily's eyes sparkle as she looked at the whale was truly adorable.
"Racher... Ugh..."
"What's wrong now, Lily?"
"Huggie!"
"...Alright."
Three-year-old Lily was very spoiled and needy.
She had thought Lily was like that originally, but three-year-old Lily was on another level.
Over Lily's image, the vision of her dead daughter overlapped.
Even though the child in front of her wasn't her daughter, she couldn't help but feel that way.
Damnably enough, Rachel was healing her mental wounds through Lily.
"...Lily."
"Raa—"
Lily could no longer say Rachel's name properly.
A voice that couldn't reach 'Rachel', coming out only up to 'Raa—'.
She also became unable to walk properly.
She would fall after a few steps, and whenever she tried to run, she immediately tumbled headfirst.
It seemed she was no longer accustomed to walking.
"I'll carry you, so don't try to get up."
"Oung...!"
Two-year-old Lily cried every time she fell.
Perhaps because of that, Rachel spent more time carrying Lily around than Lily spent walking herself.
Whenever they went out into the street, people asked if she was her daughter, and Rachel didn't answer that question.
Because Lily was her friend.
Even though she had ended up like this.
"Lily."
"Hmm?"
"Are you happy right now?"
"Yup! Happy—!"
Lily smiled brightly.
That alone was enough.
As long as you're happy, it's fine.
The fact that you are happy right now is enough.
"Awoo, awoo-ah, awooo!"
"..."
One-year-old Lily couldn't speak.
Let alone walk, she couldn't even stand.
Watching Lily babble, Rachel forced the corners of her mouth up into a smile.
"Yes, yes. Let me feed you, little baby."
Lily, who spent more time sleeping than being awake.
Lily, who whimpered for food whenever she woke up.
Because Rachel had raised a child before, there were no mistakes.
Adjusting the temperature of the formula, Rachel carefully lifted the one-year-old Lily.
"...Now, it's almost time."
As soon as Lily drank the formula, she fell asleep.
Looking at Lily like that, Rachel thought.
If she shrinks any further than this, will she disappear?
"I wish you wouldn't disappear, Lily."
Because if she disappears like this, that would be a sad ending.
Rachel swore before God.
That she would make sure Lily and Lily's husband met each other again.
And on that day, Rachel put the one-year-old Lily into a test tube.
***
"What happened next, what happened next?!"
A face looking exactly like Lily.
A child who seemed as if Lily had returned alive.
Makina.
Looking at Makina, who clung tightly to her with sparkling eyes, Rachel gave a bitter smile.
"I focused on removing the genetic information of the immortal jellyfish contained in the fertilized egg."
Because as long as that remained, Lily would not be able to live a normal human life.
Even if she grew up like an ordinary person, at a certain point she would start de-aging again.
Rachel did not have the confidence to watch that happen twice.
Nor did she want to leave such a curse on Lily.
"I spent nearly 60 years just removing that genetic information."
"S-Sixty... That's way older than Seo-ajeossi's age!"
"..."
At that innocent remark, her body froze for a moment.
Seo.
Seo...
What on earth should I call you?
"What happened after that? Did she come back to life again?!"
"...Yes."
She could have used a surrogate mother, but Rachel didn't.
The fertilized egg that was once Lily.
She implanted it directly into her own womb.
"Then did that person named Lily become Rachel-eonni's daughter?"
"..."
"What a truly romantic story. Giving birth to a disappearing friend herself to become mother and daughter!"
The look in her eyes was overwhelming.
A reaction that felt more and more like something Lily would show the more she looked.
Even so, the reason she couldn't avert her gaze was probably because she looked so much like Lily.
"A daughter... she was not."
"Eh."
"I don't know where it went wrong... but instead of a baby girl, a baby boy was born."
"Ehhh...?"
Makina had a look of complete incomprehension.
Why a baby boy instead of a baby girl?
An illusion appeared as if dozens of question marks were floating above the child's head.
Ziiiing—
"What are you talking about so intently?"
"Seo-ajeossi!"
The door opened and Seo walked in.
His tone sounded a bit blunt, but subtle worry was embedded within his voice.
"Hello, Makina."
"Why are you so late! Rachel-eonni woke up a long time ago!"
"No, well... there were things I had to report on and... haha."
An awkward laugh.
It probably wasn't a lie.
Since Rachel was someone who had watched all of Seo's childhood, she could tell.
That laugh was the kind he let out when he experienced something difficult to talk about.
"So, what were you talking about?"
"Makina."
Before Makina could speak, Rachel made the first move.
The child, who was just about to start talking, paused briefly at Rachel's call.
Eyes that seemed to say she wanted to tell Seo.
But Rachel had no choice but to disappoint Makina's expectations.
"Let's keep what we just talked about a secret between the two of us."
"Mm-hmm... Got it! I'll keep it a secret!"
Makina didn't throw a fit.
Rather, she chuckled 'mhehehe', saying that having it be a secret sounded much more fun.
"Because I am someone who keeps secrets well!"
"You can't even tell me?"
"Nope! I can't tell you!"
"Makina..."
Seo called her name, but Makina tightly clamped her mouth with both hands and shook her head side to side.
A gesture showing she would absolutely not tell him.
"Pfft..."
"Oh! Rachel-eonni laughed!"
Seeing that sight, Rachel burst out laughing.
Was it said that lost things never return?
Yet, the things she had lost were right before her eyes.
"...I didn't know you were capable of laughing."
"I can laugh too."
"So, are you not going to tell me? Who the woman in the photo is."
"..."
At Seo's words, Rachel remained silent.
She wasn't ready yet.
Neither Seo nor herself.
"That artificial intelligence... once the child named Dea wakes up, let's talk about it again then."
"Sure, do whatever is comfortable for you."
"..."
"..."
Silence.
But this time, it wasn't an awkward silence.
Was it because she had shared her past with Makina?
She felt like her heart had lightened up a bit.
"I'm sorry. For giving you such a hard time until now."
"..."
Seo did not answer.
He didn't nod, nor did he look over here.
There was no sign of surprise either.
He was just quietly staring out the window.
"It's fine."
Then, abruptly.
Seo spat out.
His night-sky-colored pupils, holding starlight, turned toward Rachel.
"You must have had your reasons for doing so too. You apologized, so that's enough."
"...Seo."
Opening her reluctant lips, she called his name.
Seo.
It was a name that still didn't roll off her tongue easily.
'If it's a boy, let me name him Seo, and if it's a girl, Sea.'
Words she had once shared with her husband.
They had said if it was a boy, name him Seo, and if a girl, Sea.
Back then, a daughter was born, so that child had become Sea.
"Why did I name you Seo, I wonder."
"Well, Rachel-ssi, you yourself would know that best."
Seo answered Rachel's question nonchalantly.
He was right.
The target she had to ask was wrong.
It was right to ask herself, not Seo.
'Wahh— Wahh— Waaahh—!'
"..."
When the child was born from inside my womb.
What had I been thinking back then?
In truth, it felt like I hadn't thought of anything at all.
Just, how should I put it.
I felt like I had thought something along the lines of being relieved that he was born safely.
'Your name is Seo. Just, Seo.'
Giving him that name was an impulsive decision as well.
If she had lost her sanity any further back then, she would have given Seo her own surname too.
But clinging to the last thread of sanity, she managed not to give him a surname.
Because Seo's surname had already been decided.
She felt that if she gave him her surname too, things would become irreversible.
So, just...
"I'm really, truly sorry."
"Stop constantly apologizing. Can you see this? Getting goosebumps here?"
Seo rolled up his sleeve and showed the goosebumps on his forearm.
Was it because he had released his long-held emotions?
Unlike usual when talking to her, his voice was full of energy.
"Woah... It's super bumpy!"
"Right? Rachel-eonni over there made me like this."
Makina marveling at the goosebumps on his forearm.
Seo chuckling as he watched Makina.
It felt like watching a dad and his little daughter.
'...It's not particularly wrong either, I suppose.'
Rachel muttered in her heart.
The artificial intelligence named Dea.
If its true identity is Lily's husband.
If that were truly the case, it meant Rachel's own wish was coming true.
"...What on earth did I do, like a fool."
The fact that she herself had ordered the attack by Deus Ex Machina was an unchangeable truth.
The fact that Dea's data was damaged because of that attack was also the same.
Regret was always late, no matter how early.
Always.