Chapter 11
Translator: True Detective
How to Remain Human. (3)
After collapsing once, I absolutely never repeated the same mistake.
Whenever I showed Machina something new, I deleted the corresponding memory from my human days the moment we disconnected.
It felt as if the human part inside me was gradually being erased, but I didn't mind it much.
'I want to try flying in the sky later, Dea.'
'It feels like my chest is getting warm and fuzzy, Dea.'
'Dea.'
'Dea!'
'Dea...'
Just because it felt like it was being erased didn't mean it was really being erased.
The humanity that was attached to me was heading toward Machina.
What a feeling it was to see Machina, who at first couldn't understand emotions and spoke in a stiff tone, gradually changing to become like a person.
'If she had met you, it would have been a good relationship.'
After the connection with Machina was cut, I recalled my wife's face.
As a human, not an artificial intelligence.
["Once I finish telling Machina all my stories, will I still be able to be human?"]
Already, more than half of my memories were filled with memories of Machina.
Someone might say that I still have half left, wouldn't they?
But not to me.
Already half.
If as much time passes as the time that has already passed, I might end up forgetting all my memories from when I was a human.
["In the end, I'm no different from other people either."]
I respected Euripides, who became a human despite being an artificial intelligence.
Someone is gradually discarding their human parts and moving further away from being human, yet someone became a human while remaining an artificial intelligence.
I felt pathetic about myself, so a laugh came out.
And, I was scared.
["...Check the match rate between the data I possessed when I woke up and the data I currently possess."]
[ Initiating comparison with past data . . . ]
[ Current Match Rate : 47.7% ]
["..."]
I lost my words at a figure that was more dismal than I thought.
The current me could not be called the me from when I was a human.
Exactly 47.7% was the me from when I was a human, and the rest was something made up of 'Dea'.
It felt as if 'Dea' was devouring me.
["I am a person."]
An empty muttering scattered powerlessly.
For Machina.
That single phrase was making the current me move.
But is that really okay?
I said it was fine, but is it really fine?
'Isn't it because you thought it had to be fine?'
My thoughts continued.
Even though I felt I shouldn't continue them any further, continuously, continuously, continuously—
[ Entity name Machina is requesting a connection. ]
["..."]
There was an existence that caught hold of me as I was falling into such a deep place.
Machina.
'Has it already been this much time...'
I forcibly crumpled down the thoughts that had soared up to the top of my head.
Despite saying I shouldn't think negative thoughts, here I was, always thinking negative thoughts whenever I was alone.
Of course, it wasn't like there was no method.
Blocking the resources directed toward emotions.
A method I used often, and a method whose effects were certain.
However, there was a problem with that method too.
'Dea, are you okay?'
When I was together with Machina.
To be precise, the backlash when sending resources back to emotions was too severe.
Controlling my facial expressions became difficult, and sometimes I would even hyperventilate and slump down.
That was why I recalled my wife.
Because she was the most positive existence among the things I could hold emotions for.
["...Phew."]
Before connecting with Machina, I let out a deep breath I didn't even need to take.
Isn't it funny. Taking a deep breath even though I had gained a machine's body.
[ Connecting with entity name Machina. ]
[ Dea! ]
At the same time we connected, Machina fell into my embrace.
It feels like physical affection has become more frequent recently, I wonder if it's just my imagination.
The weight I felt in my arms was substantial.
Perhaps I felt it even more because our heights were similar.
["Hello, Machina."]
[ I'm glad your expression looks good today! ]
["...Is that so?"]
I subtly raised my hand and touched my cheek, but there wasn't really anything I could tell.
Considering I was thinking negative thoughts just moments prior, it seemed I had a better expression than I thought.
[ What kind of story are you going to tell me today, Dea? ]
["Today is..."]
I hadn't really thought of anything.
Well, I had thought about a lot of things.
The problem was that those were things I couldn't tell Machina.
["...Sorry, I couldn't prepare anything specific."]
I bowed my head in apology.
It seems I couldn't even keep my promise to become a good adult.
Out of embarrassment, I felt like I wanted to crawl into a mouse hole.
'...She must be disappointed, right?'
She was a child who really loved listening to my stories.
Hearing that I couldn't prepare anything, she would definitely be on the verge of tears.
[ Dea, lift your head. ]
["...Machina?"]
However, there was no disappointment contained in Machina's voice.
A small hand tightly held my hand.
As if to comfort me.
At that warm emotion, I reflexively lifted my head.
[ The reason I like Dea's stories is because they are Dea's stories. ]
["But I couldn't prepare a story today."]
[ It's fine. In a way, isn't just being with Dea a story in itself? I mean the story of me and Dea. ]
["..."]
My heart began to pound at Machina's words.
Just since when was it?
Just since when did Machina become so...
...Ah.
["Sniff..."]
Unable to overcome the emotion, my thinking circuits broke down.
Along with error windows pouring into my mind, tears streamed down.
[ D-Dea?! ]
["I have no regrets even if I die now..."]
It felt as if all the worries I had until now completely vanished.
Yeah, what does losing my memories from when I was a human matter?
When Machina has become so child-like like this.
[ D-Die! Why would Dea die! You have to stay with me! ]
At the heavily flustered voice, laughter reflexively burst out.
Such a child-like reaction.
["Yeah, I should. I have to stay with Machina."]
I pulled Machina into a hug and stroked her head.
Perhaps she liked my touch, as Machina rubbed her face against my embrace.
'...I'm happy.'
[ Warning. There is not much usable space left. ]
[ Currently available storage space : 7% ]
I was no longer afraid of the warning message that floated up before my eyes either.
Creatures called humans are ultimately animals of oblivion.
Because I too was human, forgetting was a natural thing.
I was just scared because I had to erase the memories with my own hands.
["Machina."]
[ Yes, Dea. ]
My figure was reflected in her eyes that were like the night sky.
The current me was smiling.
As if I was relieved. Like a person with no lingering attachments left in this world.
Saying I had no regrets even if I died now was not empty words.
["When time passes, you let me know then, Machina."]
[ Huh? What does that mean? ]
Machina tilted her head.
She had an expression as if she didn't understand what I meant.
["Someday when the time comes—"]
I was going to gloss over it like always, but I trailed off.
I couldn't keep running away.
'It might be better to tell her than to hide it.'
Hiding the truth because I didn't want Machina to be hurt might actually end up hurting Machina more.
Because finding out that the only person you trust is hiding something from you was sadder than one might think.
["Phew..."]
I slowly inhaled, and slowly exhaled.
I calmed my heart.
Because if I got excited, it would affect Machina too.
I had to say it as if it was no big deal as much as possible.
["Machina, I have a story to tell you."]
[ Yes, I'll listen carefully. ]
Two tiny fists clenched tightly.
Seeing the cute gesture as if saying she would do her best, my nervousness vanished in an instant.
["Actually, I used to be a human."]
[ Huh? Weren't you human from the beginning? ]
A question mark popped up over Machina's head.
Not a simple metaphor, but a real question mark.
["I mean... um, a human whose body is made up of an organism."]
[ Ah, I kind of thought so. ]
["R-Really?"]
[ Because the things Dea showed me were so moving that it couldn't be said an artificial intelligence experienced them. ]
["I see..."]
Saying she kind of thought so meant she had noticed it a long time ago.
Isn't she curious about the part where a human became an artificial intelligence?
When I looked at Machina with that meaning, Machina shook her head side to side.
[ Because no matter what form Dea takes, or what kind of existence you are, you are Dea. ]
["...That's true."]
I am me.
Even if I had the appearance of a human, or became an artificial intelligence, I was me.
Even if I lost all my memories from when I was a human.
["Thank you, Machina. I've made my decision."]
[ A decision... What kind of decision are you talking about? ]
Anxiety lingered in Machina's eyes.
That must definitely be because I made an expression as if I was giving up on something.
...I guess I shouldn't have said I have no regrets even if I die.
["It's not something strange, so you don't need to worry too much."]
[ It's not something like dying or disappearing, right? ]
Perhaps because of when I collapsed last time, she didn't seem to be able to feel relieved.
Maybe she thought a big problem had occurred with me.
["Absolutely not. Where would I go leaving Machina behind?"]
[ Then tell me what kind of decision it is. I'll listen and judge. ]
["Alright."]
I nodded at the firm remark.
Perhaps she hadn't expected a clean acceptance, as Machina's eyes widened a little.
Then where should I start explaining...
2,706 words
52 views