Self-Invited Disaster
I just can't wrap my head around Napoleon's diplomacy. Ignoring France's internal mess and looking purely at the outcomes... If he wanted to check Prussia, shouldn't he have backed Austria or Russia instead of Italy?
He turned Russia hostile with the Crimean War, made an enemy of us by supporting Italian unification... And did he even help Italy properly? Nope, not really.
Even the Britain he was so obsessed with caught him out over Luxembourg, proving old habits die hard.
Everyone else plays "distant foes close, close allies distant" as basic diplomacy, but he goes and flips it to "close allies distant, distant foes close." What the hell?
'Wasn't it Bismarck making him a pariah? Or did he just crush himself under his own self-invited disasters?'
I'm not underestimating Bismarck or anything... but wasn't France just setting the table for him to grab a spoon?
"Even if we're repaying our debt from the Bohemian War by helping France, we can't make enemies of Russia, Sardinia, and Prussia all at once."
"You're right."
"I still don't get why they turned on us when we're so far away."
We're not even sharing a border with France anymore like we used to.
"...Well, they must have had their reasons, right?"
We still couldn't make sense of what was going on in Napoleon III's head.
'If making the whole world your enemy counts as skill, then sure, he's skilled.'
"But do we have to talk about another man even in our marital bed?"
"Is this about another man?"
It's about international sentiment.
"Explaining him to me every night while thinking about that guy... doesn't it feel off?"
"...Who says I'm thinking about that guy every night?"
"You are."
"Who?"
"The idiot who couldn't even take proper care of his own wife."
Whoa, hearing that from Joseph feels weird.
"The old me was just too nice."
"......"
That one line made Joseph's lips press into a thin line.
Joseph, you think it's weird too, don't you? Doesn't your conscience prick at you?
"I should have just kept traveling instead."
Joseph's shoulders visibly flinched and stiffened.
"Yeah, emperors are always thinking about Europe's order, so they probably don't see the person right next to them."
His gaze wandered, lost.
"Back then, Your Majesty called my mother's name more often than mine."
Joseph squeezed his eyes shut tight.
He reached out desperately to grab my hand, but I slipped away just a bit.
"I was naive back then too. I didn't realize being emperor was a job separate from being a husband."
The emperor's dignity was long gone.
"Your Majesty was always worrying about Europe. I just wasn't Europe, that's all. Should I change my name?"
He kept dry-washing his face frantically.
"The emperor was always there. The husband... his schedule just didn't align."
An aggrieved look, utterly cowed.
"My trips got longer because the Vienna air didn't suit me. Or was it the atmosphere?"
Joseph cleared his throat a few times and fiddled with the innocent blanket.
"I get loving your mother. You just mixed up the order a bit."
He finally covered his face completely with both hands.
"It's fine. Thanks to that, I got to travel a lot. Alone."
I knew it'd end up like this every time, but I still poked the same wounds.
"...At least tonight it's a little less."
"Want more?"
"No, enough about the idiot."
He always squeezes out one more word.
We had justification on our side.
It felt sticky, but we chose to stand by.
The countdown to the fall of the French Empire had begun.
Napoleon III Declares War on Prussia
Franco-Prussian War Breaks Out
If he missed this chance, he wouldn't be Bismarck.
We'd never even gone to direct war with France, but this showed just how much Vienna despised them.
Franco-Prussian War, of all things.
"What letters have you been exchanging with the French Empress?"
"Just... that the Habsburgs are still an option."
Vienna's a city of exiled royals, after all.
Henri V is living in exile here in the empire right now.
Joseph finished his meal and dabbed his mouth.
"Still, it's France. Do you think Prussia can really hit them that hard?"
"It could end as quickly as it did for us."
"The situations are different."
Ours could even be seen as a civil war, in a way.
So they're going to fight to the bitter end? Uh...
"Why did Napoleon attack Russia?"
"Revenge for his uncle, I'd say."
Yeah, you know why you're asking.
"You saying he's going back to his roots?"
"Probably. What else does Napoleon have left besides his name?"
He's jumped into the gamble of war because that's his only play.
There's a reason even the royals needing popular support are acting aggressively.
"Huebner sees it differently."
"What'd he say?"
"Similar to the military. If it drags into a long war, France has the advantage."
"We knew that and almost got wrecked."
"They saw us nearly collapse—surely they didn't skimp on preparations?"
Yeah.
They're garrisoned in Sardinia where republican revolution's brewing, in Indochina, in Africa...
I've never heard of them pulling those troops together.
Unlike us, they're underestimating Prussia way too much.
"They probably think our loss was because we were incompetent."
"Even though everyone knows they're not the Grande Armée?"
Yeah.
They delusionally think they are.
I hesitated before cautiously bringing up one rumor.
"There were whispers their treasury's bone-dry too."
Joseph seemed to recall it as well.
The Mexican expedition that hurt us worse than Italy.
"...Right, they sold bonds."
"My bonds!"
The French Republic might inherit them, but the price'll tank...
Already bleeding money on Charlotte's treatment, and the Bank of England just takes it without giving back!
"Got them back last week, so eat up without worrying."
"Really?"
"Looked risky."
Good. Buy French bonds back after the war.
"Then use it to buy U.S. bonds for me."
Joseph suddenly hesitated, putting on a grave air.
"...Don't tell me."
It's my money!
"Just wait a bit. Once this expo succeeds, I'll double it."
No way...! How's he talking like some businessman husband?
"You say that like success is guaranteed."
"Don't worry. It'll showcase the empire's prestige for sure."
"Whose silver tongue got to you?"
Not something he'd dream up alone.
"Schmerling and Huebner you recommended, and Count Andrássy—all in agreement."
That's not "spend my money on an expo"!
The war seemed poised to end before we could even act.
Evening of September 2nd.
Gathering for Sophie and Otto's engagement.
Just as the banquet began after all the ceremonies.
"Napoleon's been taken prisoner at Sedan."
"Joseph, smile."
Just six weeks after declaring war, the Second French Empire met its end.
No one—not us scheming to pile on, not even Russia—expected France, with Europe's strongest army short of the Grande Armée, to have its emperor captured in a month and a half.
The situation was grave, but this was our daughter's engagement party.
"It's not over yet. Paris hasn't fallen."
"Right, you're correct."
Thinking about it, France doesn't meekly surrender just because their monarch's a POW in enemy hands.
"Jean II was captured by the English in the Hundred Years' War, François I at Pavia. Uncle Napoleon I was exiled twice."
"Everyone in Vienna will hold their breath watching how it unfolds."
I could already see him calculating diplomatic and military moves in his head.
I snuck a hand under the table and pinched Joseph's thigh.
"Joseph, the man in front of you isn't Otto von Bismarck—it's Otto von Bavaria."
Save the politics for the office. Smile benevolently at your future son-in-law like a gracious emperor.
The war I remember is just beginning.
So now's the time to strengthen ties with Bavaria.
Sophie and Otto approached our table, making the rounds with greetings.
"Your Majesties, Emperor and Empress. We come to pay our respects once more."
Otto, impeccably dressed in his Bavarian uniform, bowed deeply with clear tension on his face.
"Good, have you relaxed a bit? Must be tiring standing before Vienna's nobles after leaving Bavaria."
"Not at all, Your Majesty. It's a great honor. I'm simply thrilled to be with Archduchess Sophie."
Sophie hooked her arm through his at his textbook-perfect response.
"Otto's so thoughtful. He's been taking such good care of me—you should've seen how reliable he is."
I couldn't help but smile at my daughter already taking her fiancé's side over us.
"Sophie, already putting Otto before us? His Majesty must feel quite left out."
"Left out? What father wouldn't be thrilled seeing his daughter with such a fine match."
Joseph stood and lightly patted Otto's shoulder.
Though his face was full of actual disappointment.