No to the Dual Monarchy
"O-Hung is a no-go! The reason I can't accept the Hungarian compromise is that they're practically a noble republic already."
'The Hungarian Noble Republic, crowning Joseph as their king.'
If they were sincerely reforming, that might be different, but they're not.
"I'm not thrilled about it."
"Even after we've compromised to a level we can accept?"
"...Natural rights are a mission from God. And you're the Apostolic King who inherits that mission."
I'm not suddenly a born-again believer or anything—I'm just speaking Joseph's language to convince him.
The current proposal is already a bit better. At least the military stays under Vienna's control, not Hungary's.
Everything else is pretty much like the original draft.
"Where are you off to at this hour?"
Joseph's speech got all jumbled when I suddenly stood up and headed out, clearly flustered.
"Just wait a sec."
I rushed to the Amalienburg study and frantically rummaged through the papers.
Where did I put it...?
"Your Majesty? Let me help."
Hunyadi, the on-duty maid, approached.
"Ah, Hunyadi. Do you remember where the cotton-related documents were filed when Esterházy was court minister?"
"Probably in the industry or trade files. For Countess Esterházy's tenure, check behind the Bohemia bundle."
This filing system needs an overhaul. It's a hassle.
Hunyadi fetched the document from a cabinet in the back of the study.
Cotton isn't just about buying—there's an economic feasibility study attached.
It lists the number of textile factories in Bohemia and Moravia, the workers employed, and where it all gets sold.
'Which means the consumer markets in Upper Hungary have been surveyed too.'
The economies are already intertwined—why split the politics?
"Sissi."
"Yosha."
"You've been gone over an hour, so I came to check."
Has it been that long already?
I beckoned Joseph over.
"Look at this."
I opened the page with statistics on Bohemian and Moravian textile factories.
"These factories need cotton to run. And once they produce goods, someone has to buy them."
I traced the figures with my finger as I explained.
"Do you know where 40 percent of Bohemian cloth goes? Hungary. The Great Plains, Transylvania, and Upper Hungary."
"We're keeping the customs union intact."
No, that's not the point.
"Yosha, the Hungary we're compromising with right now isn't Deák or Andrássy. It's not the Hungarian subjects you and I care about, either."
It's the thousands of magnates lurking in the shadows behind them.
"They cry for Hungary's freedom, but what they really want is the 'nobles' freedom'—collecting taxes from their estates and lording over serfs."
I emphasized nobles' freedom.
"You're the Apostolic King. God didn't crown you to fatten up the sheep-shearing nobles—he crowned you to protect your little lambs from the wolves, right?"
"I know that. But when will we get another chance like this?"
Joseph explained things I hadn't known.
"I know what's right, but we have to run the empire right now. Vienna and Bohemia are itching for revenge against Prussia."
Ah.
I hadn't known that.
I knew about the Triple Alliance and the Three Emperors' League, but not the backstory.
So how did we end up in a full alliance with Prussia? From Joseph's words, they sound like blood enemies.
"Bohemia was right in the middle of the battlefield. There's massive resentment toward Prussia building up. To resolve this, I have no choice but to back Hungary."
Because we didn't lose Lombardy? Or because the war with Prussia ended in a draw?
Maybe it was always like this.
"...Yosha, do we have the finances to go to war with Prussia alone?"
Joseph fell silent.
"Even if Hungary pays its taxes, can we afford a war?"
He knows the answer.
"If we compromise with Hungary like this, Bohemia will see them—and us—as the enemy, not Prussia."
We either bring Hungary up to Bohemia's level, or we can't let them join the German Customs Union.
"Hunyadi, fetch the Zollverein customs union proposal from Finance Minister Bruck."
"No need—I already know it. Bohemia's bourgeoisie will turn anti-war instead."
Revenge fades, replaced bit by bit by cold economic calculations.
"Sorry. I didn't plan to oppose your decision this hard... It just came to me while talking with Mother yesterday."
"With Mother?"
"Yeah, we were discussing how a parliament might work if it happened. Then the Tripartitum and the Diet came up."
"The Diet..."
The Diet wasn't just a simple parliament—it was murky, uniquely bizarre, hard to pin down.
If the Hungarian noble assembly morphed into something like the Diet, it could lead straight to a Polish-Hungarian path.
"But the Hungarian parliament won't be unanimous."
"And the pro-imperial faction isn't the majority either."
Most Hungarian nobles stand against the court, enabling this passive resistance.
"Andrássy and Deák are realists. Like Metternich. They know Hungary can't survive without the empire."
But as I just said.
"They're just the face of the negotiations. The real power lies elsewhere."
I nodded.
It was a tactic Joseph was already using.
Just as they paraded me as a symbol for the Hungarians, Hungary trotted out Andrássy and Deák to make it seem like dialogue was possible.
"Sissi, Hungary's maintenance costs are bleeding us dry right now. It's as much as Bohemia's taxes. We have to fix this."
"...You know about the clashes between Lombardy and Bohemia right now, right?"
Joseph's face darkened at the mention.
Bohemia wants free trade; Lombardy wants protectionism.
Lombardy's industries are silk textiles, ironworking, and early machine manufacturing. Unlike Bohemia's cotton textiles, they oppose free trade letting French and British goods flood in unchecked.
"So the fallback is scrapping Mitteleuropa...?"
Joseph started sorting through his thoughts alone.
If we sided with Hungary here to bury the issue, it might make it impossible to mend the economic policy rift between Lombardy-Venetia and Bohemia.
"Hungarian compromise, Bohemian compromise... What can we give Lombardy? No."
No matter how I think about it, there's no easy answer...?
The moment we join the Zollverein for disappointed Bohemia, we lose any leverage over Lombardy.
Knock knock.
Hunyadi checked the door and relayed to Joseph.
"Count Grüne has brought an urgent telegram."
"Send him in."
Grüne bowed to Joseph and me before delivering the message.
"Your Majesty, dispatches from Paris and Berlin."
Paris? Berlin?
What would make them send telegrams at the same time?
Joseph and I exchanged glances, but he looked clueless too.
"Tensions are rising over Luxembourg."
How long ago was the war? Is this the start of the Franco-Prussian War?
I shook my head.
Prussia can't go to war right now.
No reparations paid—how could they dive into another one?
It's more like they're betting on Britain, Russia, and us.
As president of the German Confederation, we have no choice but to assert our rights over Luxembourg.
'Bismarck's playing smart.'
Joseph's expression showed zero desire to help France.
Prussia wouldn't lose territory over German Confederation leadership, but France had been eyeing Lombardy-Venetia all along.
"Savoy will quiet down now."
With that, Joseph dismissed Grüne.
Even with soured relations, France was Sardinia's only patron.
"Marie will have to find her place too."
Raising the restoration of the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies postwar was off the table.
If we'd occupied Turin, maybe.
Marie understood she couldn't restore the monarchy right away.
"...A king who just prays fervently—hopefully he doesn't hand it all to the Pope."
"They say his personality is just like yours."
What does that mean?
I shot Joseph a sharp glare, and he raised both hands in surrender, claiming it was a joke.
"Yosha, shall we go hunting?"
"Hunting?"
Joseph lit up like it was the best news ever.
"Bad Ischl would be perfect. Deer season's just right."
"Sounds good. But on one condition."
"Condition?"
I held out my hand boldly.
"Buy me a gift."
"I already got you the Louis Vuitton bag last time."
"That's different. This time, I need hunting clothes."
Joseph looked puzzled.
He knew my dressing room was overflowing with riding habits already.
"Something to wear at the lodge."
"If that's what you want, I can summon every dressmaker in Vienna."
He knew I wouldn't, so now he's getting cheeky.
"No, a dirndl."
"A dirndl?"
"Yes, a dirndl. Make it purple silk."
Traditional outfits were trending in salons lately, but not fully established.
Hence, silk. Purple silk.
"To match your lederhosen—like a couple's set for hunting."
I needed to pull Joseph back a step from the Hungarian mess.
And nothing beats hunting for that.
I gently took Joseph's hand.
"But to do that... shouldn't you take my measurements first?"
"Now?"
"Yes, right now. Want to check how much slimmer my waist has gotten, Your Majesty?"
Joseph's hand naturally encircled my waist. Let's leave the headache-inducing papers to tomorrow's us.