8. Please Don't Rip My Mouth
8. Please Don't Rip My Mouth
Cheshire's green eyes shimmered with curiosity and madness as she stared straight into mine.
Cheshire's breath, asking if the place smelled like a hero just a moment ago, brushed against my cheek.
"Huk..."
It felt like my heart was going to burst right out of my ribcage.
It wouldn't have been strange at all if a sharp blue knife or a bottle of hydrochloric acid had suddenly popped out from inside that deep purple coat and melted my face into a mess.
'Did she smell Blaze or Spark? Or is it just a villain's intuition?'
I forced myself to swallow dryly and clenched my trembling hands under the counter.
If I showed even a hint of fear or made a clumsy excuse in front of this lunatic villain, it was obvious my life would end right then and there.
I stiffened my expression as much as possible and opened my mouth, pretending to be indifferent.
"Because it's a laundry shop."
"What?"
"This is just an ordinary laundry shop, tailor shop, and costume workshop in the back alleys of The City. Dozens of customers come and go every day."
Cheshire twitched her grotesquely stretched, bright red lips and narrowed her eyes.
"So? Are you saying my nose is wrong, Boss?"
"No. Gang members come here, corrupt cops come here, ordinary plumbers come here, and naturally, those so-called heroes you mentioned come to get their clothes fixed too. Just because they're heroes doesn't mean their clothes don't rip. A few have actually come and gone. Some bought clothes, some just dropped off laundry."
I didn't avoid her mad gaze and continued, looking straight at her.
"My job is to wash, mend, and make clothes for anyone, regardless of who they are, as long as they pay properly. Whether it's a villain like you bringing in a suit reeking of blood, or a hero wearing a costume, they're all the same customers to me. Once they're in the washing machine, they're all just laundry."
"..."
"Well, as long as I get paid for the laundry, that is."
Once I finished my answer, Cheshire stared at me silently.
As her pale face, smeared with heavy makeup, stiffened into an expressionless mask, it felt like the very air in the room was being pulled taut, ready to tear.
I held my breath.
'Oh God, Buddha, Allah, Zeus, Thor, please...'
Just as I was calling upon every god I could think of, fearing my head was about to fly off,
"Pwahahahaha!"
Suddenly, Cheshire grabbed her stomach and started laughing like a maniac.
She was laughing so hard her narrow shoulders shook, and tears even welled up in the corners of her eyes.
The ear-piercing, creepy laughter rang chaotically throughout the laundry shop.
"Ahahaha! You're a really funny Boss! So, you'll treat villains and heroes as the same customers as long as they pay?"
"Th...that's right?"
She wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and stepped close to the counter again.
This time, instead of murderous intent, her eyes were filled with a strange curiosity.
"I like you. I'm used to seeing hypocrites who always act noble and scream about justice, or trashy petty criminals who tremble over a few bucks, so seeing a shameless merchant like you is refreshing."
Cheshire put her hands behind her back and started spinning around the inside of the laundry shop as if dancing.
She ran her fingertips over the clothes I had mended and stroked the scraps of sturdy bulletproof material lying on the sewing machine.
"Your skills are no joke. Why is someone with such perfect sewing and tailoring skills stuck in a corner of this slum? The clothes here look much better quality than that expensive, stuffy suit our cute little ghost lady wears."
By "ghost lady," she must have meant her nemesis, the dark hero Nocturne, whom she was insanely obsessed with.
As soon as she brought up Nocturne, Cheshire's eyes lost focus, and she made an ecstatic expression.
"My Nocturne. The thrill when that cold, rational woman falls into my trap and ruins her face so miserably. She really is the perfect half that completes me. She's the most adorable thing in the world."
Cheshire suddenly stopped walking and reached out affectionately into the air, as if to a lover.
"But lately, she's been hiding so tightly inside that hard, expensive armor that the fun of stabbing her with a knife has decreased a bit. Seeing your skills, I just had a fun idea."
She hummed a pleasant tune and strode back up to me.
Then, she leaned her upper body over the counter and whispered into my ear.
"Boss. Make sure the clothes I left you are perfectly like new, without a single trace of the smell of blood, by tomorrow."
"That's my job as a laundry shop owner."
"Good answer. If you wash it to my liking, I'll give you lots and lots of money."
"The 19 dollars you gave me for the laundry is enough-"
"The cost of making clothes must be more than 19 dollars. How much is it?"
"...It depends on what kind of clothes you're making."
"Hmm, in that case... make me a pretty and comfortable outfit! Just add some bulletproof functionality. I'm sick of wearing suits every day. I'd like something pretty, like a cosplay outfit... a dress, add a dress! I'd like a dress that doesn't go down to my ankles. It gets in the way when I run around."
"Understood. When would you like it by?"
"Making clothes takes a long time, right? Then about a week..."
"...One day is enough. I'll give it to you when you come to pick it up tomorrow."
Hoping to stop getting entangled with Cheshire as soon as possible, I decided to make her clothes and get her out of here as quickly as I could.
"Really? You can make clothes that fast?"
"There's always a way."
"Hmm... alright, if you say so, Boss."
"What are your body measurements?"
"Me? Hmm, I'm 63 inches (160 centimeters) tall, and 31-22-32."
As expected, she was extremely skinny, just as she looked.
It was quite a different feeling from the glamorous heroes.
Perhaps a bit self-conscious about it, Cheshire winked and warned me.
"If you say one word about my figure, I'll kill you, Boss. Got it? Let's agree not to talk about figures for the sake of everyone's peace."
"...I'll get your clothes made quickly."
"Good, good, good! See you tomorrow!"
She smiled broadly, as if she didn't even care to hear my answer, and walked toward the door.
Cheshire, holding the doorknob, looked back at me over her shoulder one last time.
Her white teeth were revealed between her grotesquely stretched lips.
"Oh, and if the bloodstains are still on the suit I usually wear tomorrow, or if the stains aren't removed."
"..."
"I'll nicely slice your mouth open to your ears with a knife, just like mine, so look forward to it."
Ding.
With a cheerful chime, Cheshire disappeared completely into the darkened street.
Only then did I collapse onto the floor behind the counter.
As the tension left my body, my legs trembled like an aspen tree, and the cold sweat I had been suppressing poured down my forehead like rain.
'Haa, I really thought I was going to die.'
The laundry and tailor shop was just a job I chose to make a quiet living.
But in this crazy city, my shop had already ceased to be an ordinary place.
Starting with accidentally making a suit for a rookie Street Hero named Spark, the gang butcher Mama Butcherer had shoved a wad of blood-stained cash into my hands and declared she'd become a regular, I'd built a friendship with the A-list superstar Blaze, and now, even the incarnation of madness, Cheshire, had come to my shop on her own whim to drop off clothes.
At this rate, it was obvious that a catastrophe would eventually happen where a hero and a villain would run into each other face-to-face in this cramped laundry shop.
I didn't know about someone like Spark, but if Mama Butcherer met Cheshire here, she'd start shooting immediately—I couldn't let that happen.
'No. I have to stop such a crazy situation somehow.'
But there was nothing I could do right now.
With not even the energy left to retrace where it all went wrong, I dragged my heavy body and stared at the foul-smelling black bag sitting in the corner of the counter.
Thinking only about what kind of special chemicals I needed to mix to remove the stains inside that terrible plastic bag Cheshire had tossed aside, I quietly opened the bag.
"Ugh."
A terrible smell wafted up.
I don't really know what kind of chemical it is, but... let's just leave it under running water for about 30 minutes first.
As far as I know, most chemicals wash away and dissolve in water.
And in the meantime, let's just roughly make the clothes.
If I don't want that lunatic's smile carved onto my face tomorrow, I absolutely have to do a perfect job with the laundry.
It was enough to drive me absolutely insane.
Pshhh-
"Eww."
Seeing the mysterious purple smoke rising from the bag, I lost all motivation right then and there, and decided to just shove it under running water and call it a day.
Let's do the work tomorrow...