From the One Who Lost What's Precious, to the One Who Forgot It (1)

Back in my room with Ellie, I slumped weakly against a chair in the corner of the spacious room.

The moment I sank into it, Ellie guessed at once why I was in such a state.

"Hyun, is it because of what happened with His Majesty earlier?"

I answered with a feeble nod.

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"Something about it just... doesn't sit right. The Third Prince did offend us, and what he did was wrong ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠— I know that. And yet, somehow..."

Ellie crossed the room with steady, deliberate steps and asked,

"In what way, exactly?"

Straightening my posture where I sat, I said,

"I'm an orphan, but I know who my father and mother were."

At my words, Ellie's brow furrowed slightly — not because I'd strayed off topic, but because this was the first time I had ever revealed I came from such a background.

"......"

Even though it meant keeping my past from her, Ellie seemed to have resolved to listen without a word, standing quietly where she was until my tears finally stopped.

"Because if I had been in that situation, my father and mother would have used whatever means it took to beg forgiveness for the one at fault. That's what it felt like to me."

"......"

"For just a moment there, I was seeing my own father and mother in His Majesty the Emperor."

That was the source of my discomfort. I had looked at the Emperor, and my parents' figures had overlapped with his.

As a child, I had been a terrible little troublemaker. Curiosity always got the better of me, and I careened from one disaster to the next — smashing jars and flowerpots, or traipsing over to a friend's house to scrawl all over his wallpaper with crayons.

That mischievous streak only swelled with time — until my first year of middle school, when one of my pranks left a friend badly hurt, injured severely enough that it took twelve weeks to heal. I had been fooling around; my friend never noticed it in time, tumbled down the stairs, wrecked his leg and hip, and suffered terribly for it.

Needless to say, the prankster was me — which naturally made me the one at fault. I tried to explain that it had just been a prank between friends, but not a soul believed me. Only my parents, even as they scolded me, chose to believe my words.

I thought that was the end of it. Reality proved otherwise. Because there in the teachers' office, I witnessed a scene I never could have imagined: my father and mother, apologizing to the other boy's parents right before my eyes. With my own two eyes, I watched the two of them bow their heads low, begging, Please, forgive our son.

After that, my mischief naturally faded. Of course it did. I never wanted to see my father and mother bow their heads in front of me ever again. That was the whole reason — but I think it was reason enough.

"That's the story of my past."

Of course, I left out the part where it had all happened on Earth.

Having heard me out, Ellie said,

"Do you want to forgive the Third Prince, Hyun?"

I shook my head.

"No. I can't forgive the Third Prince. What about you, Ellie?"

When I asked her in return, Ellie mulled it over briefly before answering.

"I can't forgive him either. But I keep thinking exile is far too harsh a punishment."

On a different scale from mine, perhaps — but with the Third Prince, it was much the same. All I could do was hope that this became the turning point that brought him to his senses.

Of course, from the Emperor's position, he would want to save his son. But to me, Ellie's position mattered above all. The victim here wasn't me — it was her. If she had insisted the punishment stand, I would have followed her wishes without question.

Still, one thing gnawed at me: in the game, the Third Prince was essentially a wildcard. Take the care to mend his character, and he became a true hero you could entrust your back to; leave him be, and he became the successor of the Four Perils, loosing his arrows of malice at the Holy Empire that had never once taken his side. That was the Third Prince's future as written into the game.

If things went on as they were, his malice would only fester and grow, swelling like a snowball until it came crashing down on us all. Killing him cleanly, here and now, would plainly be better — for our future, and everyone else's besides. And yet a certain discomfort clung to me and would not fade, as if something were whispering not to kill him — as if asking whether I, too, didn't know the pain of loss.

As if she'd noticed, Ellie spoke up.

"Hyun. Are you really sure about this? Forgiving him so easily?"

I suppose I'm not a man of great magnanimity after all. The sight of the Emperor pleading so earnestly before me kept resurfacing in my mind.

"Ellie... I'm sorry, but would it be all right if we eased the Third Prince's punishment just a little? In exchange — I have an idea."

Reading my intention to reform the Third Prince, Ellie reminded me of what I'd need to watch for.

"Hyun. Think this through carefully. You have to calibrate the severity of the punishment just right."

She had a point. Punish him too lightly, and he would learn that his rank shielded him, then repeat the same crimes on Ellie or someone else; punish him too harshly, and the prince would fall to darkness and turn the imperial family into his enemy.

"Right. Let me walk you through it."

If the plan went the way I intended, the word easily would never come up. Naturally — I intended to beat him to within an inch of his life.

I laid out my plan for Ellie in detail: how I would make the Third Prince come to repent of his own accord. Having heard it, she seemed to wonder whether it could truly work... but after long deliberation, she nodded.

And so Ellie and I resolved to bring our plan — one to bring about the Third Prince's reform — to the Emperor.

With every part of the plan settled, guilt crept over me toward Ellie. I'd said I would leave every decision in her hands, and then I'd gone and decided everything myself...

Is this... right...?

Ellie took my hand and turned to look at me.

Is she grabbing my hand to call me out — for promising her the choice and then making it all on my own...?

Cold sweat trickled down me as I panicked. But of course, contrary to my spiraling thoughts, that wasn't why she'd taken my hand. The reason was simply this:

"Hyun, that's beside the point."

"...?"

"You still need to be scolded for what you did."

"...!!"

I'd completely forgotten about that...! She still remembered it...?!

"Who told you to go throwing your authority around whenever you please!"

"But you were being insulted and toyed with right in front of me — what, was I supposed to just stand there and watch??"

"Even so, the authority was too much! Hyun, do you have any idea how powerful your authority actually is?"

When she argued her case that earnestly, I truly had no rebuttal... Though, of course, she'd probably phrased it that way precisely so I'd have none...

And so I spent over an hour being lectured by Ellie about not misusing my authority. What I took away from the scolding was a solemn new vow: never, ever make her angry.

After that thorough dressing-down, the next day arrived, and when we stepped out of our room, a man dressed in black was standing at our door. Judging by his attire, he was surely one of the imperial shadows. It said everything about how dearly the Emperor cherished his children — that he had dispatched his very shadows just to hear my answer.

The shadow addressed me with practiced formality.

"His Majesty awaits the Successor's answer. By the Emperor's command, I may escort you to His Majesty at once, if you would come."

At his words, a thought struck me — surely not — and I said,

"And if I hadn't settled on an answer? Would you have dragged me there by force?"

The shadow bowed lower still.

"No, Successor. His Majesty commanded that if you had not yet reached your answer, we were to wait until you did."

Naturally, the Emperor had demanded an answer with neither pressure nor coercion. It hardly mattered — I'd planned to give him my reply today regardless.

"Let's go. I'll be bringing my contracted one with me. Will that be a problem?"

The shadow nodded.

"Of course. Understood."

With his reply, my vision warped, and I was already standing in the grand assembly hall. In the game, traveling with the shadows blacked out the screen and replaced it with a loading bar — but experiencing it firsthand was far more wondrous.

In the hall, the Emperor and the Empress both stood — not upon the seat of honor, but at my own level — waiting for my answer. The Emperor looked anxious; the Empress wore the face of someone about to weep.

"Successor."

"Your Majesty."

"Will you... give me your answer?"

This was a man who had ruled the Empire through any number of tense ordeals — yet seeing him this unsteady only hardened my resolve further.

"The punishment will be carried out."

"...I see. I understand."

Hearing my answer, the Emperor must have resigned himself: so this is how it ends. Given what the Third Prince had done to me, asking for anything more would have been beyond shameless. The Emperor seemed to know it too; he lowered his head and said nothing more.

But my words were not finished.

"Your Majesty. However — I intend to lighten the severity of the punishment somewhat."

"Lighten it?"

The Emperor's head rose again at my words. Caught utterly off guard, he looked genuinely stunned.

"Yes. The Third Prince and I will hold an unofficial duel."

"A duel, you say?"

"Yes."

"......"

Fearing his son might die in a duel, the Emperor fell silent. But I had no intention whatsoever of killing the Third Prince.

"If Your Majesty worries for the Third Prince's life, then I will face him without mana or skills."

"...!"

A duel burdened with a crippling handicap of my own choosing. And a duel it was — a stage where even if I died or suffered wounds to match, no one could raise an objection.

"I have two requests. First — I ask that the duel begin now."

"I see... and the second condition?"

I nodded and answered.

"That the duel begins this instant — and that Your Majesty and Her Highness the Empress witness it from the very start."

"...Very well."

And so the duel between the Third Prince and me was sanctioned. From an outsider's view, one might well ask, Is this really a punishment? It was. The gap in strength between the Third Prince and me was never something clumsy fouls could hope to bridge. Even without mana or skills, I was confident I could stop his blade and strike back.

When I'd laid out this plan, Ellie — who knew exactly how the Third Prince measured up in a fight — hadn't raised a single objection. The difference between me, who had swung a sword across battlefields for five years, and a man who had learned swordsmanship only as genteel education, with no real combat to speak of, was nothing short of staggering. That is what it means to cross the line between life and death.

The Emperor had his shadows move Ellie and me — along with himself and the Empress — to the dueling grounds. Four shadows, cloaks billowing, arrived at the deserted arena in an instant. At the same moment, a silver-haired man appeared upon the grounds, hands bound.

Once a shadow undid his bindings, the Third Prince began piecing together what was happening.

"What did you pull here?"

"You should be thanking me."

Saying that, I tossed an ordinary sword toward him. It landed at his feet with a dull clang.

"What are you scheming?"

"Watch your mouth. His Majesty and Her Highness the Empress are right over there. Relax — I won't be using mana or skills. So stop worrying and come at me."

"Ha! That petty pride of yours will be the death of you! Call yourself a Successor if you like — at the end of the day, you're only human. Same as me!"

"If you truly believe that, then pick up that sword and come. Mine is an ordinary longsword, same as yours."

The instant my words ended, the Third Prince drew his blade and swung it straight at me. His arc was so glaringly obvious that I slipped past it with ease.

"Listen well. From this moment on, I'm going to beat you until you black out. Endure it if you can."

"You bastard!"

He wreathed his blade in silver mana and came at me — a horizontal slash arcing in from the flank. I took my sword in both hands, braced against the shock, raised the blade vertical, and stopped his attack cold. With his weapon locked, the prince's center lay wide open.

—WHAM!

"Gwah!"

My kick caught him square on and sent him flying clear across the grounds.

"Listen well. There is no parent alive who could simply watch their child walk toward death. And if any such parent existed, they wouldn't be human. They'd be beasts."

"...What kind of nonsense is that?!!"

Stung by the blow, he charged, slashing wildly — I struck the flat of his blade, knocking the sword clean from his grip, then drove a carefully measured kick into his chest.

"Ugh!"

With a cry of pain, the prince sprawled backward.

"The reason I'm dueling you right now is that His Majesty the Emperor begged me for it."

"What...? Father...?"

"Yes. Your own father, His Majesty the Emperor, bowed his head to me himself — to save you. From the mess you made with your own reckless behavior!"

"......"

"The ruler of an entire nation bowed his head for that reason! And you feel nothing at all?"

"What am I supposed to do about it?! What did I even do wrong?! I'm a prince! Doesn't that mean I get to do as I please?!"

"Being a prince doesn't turn wrong into right. Do you honestly believe that logic holds?"

"So you're saying I'm in the wrong here?"

"I am. That's exactly what I'm telling you."

"You bastard!"

—Whoosh!

A blade came flying at my throat; I bent my upper body forward to evade it, then went for his legs. I swept them out from under him, broke his balance, and brought him crashing down. In the next heartbeat I was mounted on top of him, having cast my sword aside, hammering blow after blow into his face.

"Please — do right by them while they're still here. Listening to your parents isn't that hard. Me, I lost mine to an accident — even if I changed today, not a soul alive would ever notice."

"......"

"But you still can. You can change. There are people who would love you for it. Have you ever thought about how His Majesty felt when the Second Prince died?"

"......"

"Answer me!"

I drove my fist down into the dueling ground as I demanded it.

"I know, all right! I know how Father felt back then!"

"Then why couldn't you imagine it — if it were you lying dead? Why do you believe your actions only ever cost you? Have you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠once tried to understand what it does to parents to sentence their own child to exile?"

"How am I supposed to know?! Well then, what about a father who exiles his own flesh and blood, huh?! What about him!"

"Even at the very end, you refuse to see your own fault."

I was angry. Anyone watching might not have understood it. Why are you so furious? Is this really worth losing yourself over?

But parents are irreplaceable. And judging by everything he'd just said, he carried not merely resentment but malice toward the Emperor who had exiled him — toward his own father. To protect his son, a prince, the ruler of the Holy Empire himself had bowed his head to me, a Successor. Where else on this earth would you find an emperor waiting patiently at my door, swallowing his pride just to make his plea?

He did not yet understand how precious parents are. He believed their care and protection were simply his due.

"I was just like you. I pranked, I did awful things, all on the rotten assumption that Father and Mother would shield me no matter what. But the reality I woke up to was my parents bowing their heads to strangers because of me. If you knew that feeling, you could never have done what you've done."

"So from here on out, feel free to think of everything I do as the grief of a man who lost his parents, finding its outlet. I'll keep beating you until you understand it. And when you finally do — raise your hand. I'll stop."

And so my merciless beating went on. The skin of my knuckles split and bled. Even so, I did not stop. Please, come to your ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠senses. I wanted him to learn — before he suffered the same loss I had — that none of it was ever guaranteed. Because I knew this wound never closes, not in a lifetime. Because I could not bear for him to live with the very regret that haunts me. I drove my fist down with everything I had.

When time stretched on and my fists still hadn't stopped, the Empress — unable to bear the sight any longer, it seemed — had made her plea, and Ellie came toward me leading Her Highness by the hand.

Having watched from the far end of the grounds, the Empress hurried to me and spoke.

"Please. I am begging you, Successor... please, my son..."

The Empress. The second most powerful person in the entire nation. Begging — all for the sake of one son. Even a troublemaking son, it seemed, was precious to them beyond all measure. That was how deeply the loss of the Second Prince must have shaken them both.

I turned my gaze to the Third Prince and approached him slowly.

"Look carefully. Even knowing you did wrong — even knowing you harbor malice toward His Majesty — even knowing full well that this is your punishment — Her Highness the Empress is still trying to stop me. To protect you."

"Do you truly believe this is simply what you're owed? Think hard about it."

At my words, the Third Prince only lay there, tears streaming down his face.

Please — let this be the thing that finally wakes him. If even this couldn't bring him to his senses, there would be no bringing him back at all. He would curse me, no doubt, for the wretched lengths I went to just to hand him back his life.

With that thought, I spoke to the Empress.

"The punishment ends here. With this, his crime is paid in full. Have him treated, and take him home."

"Successor..."

"I'm all right."

Without wiping the blood from my hands, I walked slowly toward the exit of the grounds. Perhaps sensing something was wrong with me, Ellie broke into a swift pace and ran after me.

As I walked, two things made themselves known to me. The first was that I was crying, right now. Perhaps that was why the Empress had called out to me at the end — because she had seen my tears. The second was that even now, nearly eight years after my parents passed away, I missed them.

The Status Window was trying to tell me something, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠but I never actually read the message. Today, more than any other day, I missed my parents.

After my parents and my little sibling were all taken from me, no matter how lonely or hard things became, the world turned its back on me. It was no different with my own relatives. Only then did I come to understand how cold reality could be.

Please — let him never come to know that regret.

Today of all days, I missed my late parents and sibling terribly. But all I could do was shake off the feeling as quickly as I could.

As my tears kept falling, I felt someone wrap their arms around me and gently pat my back.

"It's all right. You did well."

A blurry veil of tears clouded my vision — so thick that I could no longer walk. And so, without a word, I wept and wept at the threshold leading out of the dueling grounds.