031. My First Epithet Should Be Something Dignified
My first epithet should be something dignified. No need to rush off in search of a dungeon. Instead, I could grow steadily right here. Level up somehow, meet the evolution conditions, and aim for something like a Big White Double-Horned Python. Nah, that won't cut it! I've already outgrown settling for an evolution that just slaps on a "big" prefix. From now on, I want special evolutions—more horns, holographic patterns, that kind of thing. And there was an even more important reason.
I can't afford to waste time here. Pellelian had told me as much. I'd completely pissed off the elves. That psycho elf woman who'd tried to stomp me and then slash me with her sword? Turns out she was none other than the "Golden Leaf Investigator" Iris Selena. When I asked what that meant, he explained it was a fairy hunter recognized by their kind, granted full authority for investigations. Basically a one-person task force or special investigations unit. And right now, the Golden Leaf Investigator tasked with killing me was that vicious fairy who never lets go once she bites— a total mad dog. I asked if he knew her, but Pellelian hesitated. When I pressed him, saying we'd agreed to be honest, he brushed it off as personal and I let it drop.
That elf would hunt me down. What had I even done? Killed a chimera and slipped on his ring, that's all. The Great Forest is massive—how could she possibly find me? When I said that, Pellelian didn't laugh. He stated flatly that she would find me. She'd capture me, torture me, dissect me, experiment on every inch to figure out what kind of monster I was. Talk about thinking like Pellelian. But considering the inhumanity I'd seen from the fairies so far, it was terrifyingly plausible. To avoid that, I had to change and grow stronger. Evolve into something she wouldn't recognize. Or get so powerful even fairies couldn't catch me. The latter sounded better.
"Kisssit, queek. Chwerring Nanaruk!"
"Nanaruk-mee chuisssit—thung."
Goblin speech sounded roughly like that. A spittle-flying language. I hid behind a rock, eavesdropping. They seemed to be waiting for a goblin named Nanaruk. They'd pulled a ferryboat large enough for ten people to the riverbank. Primitive—you push it into the water, hop on, and row. Exactly the tool I needed to cross the river.
"Think they'll give me a ride if I ask?"
-Go ask. Even Pellelian was cracking jokes.
-Not a joke. A snake shows up, they'll attack on sight. Fair point. What was plan B? I demanded a scheme from my advisor.
-Kill them all. Extermination strategy. Too bad I couldn't use fire—burn the boat and it's game over. But mass slaughter had issues.
"Then who's gonna row? I don't have hands."
-Leave one alive. Make him row. Genius. Instead of answering, I scouted the goblins. Six of them, varied bunch. An old granny goblin, some young warriors. One stood out: a red-skinned goblin, big and muscled. Looked like a fighter.
Hmm. Spears, bows, shields—definitely combat-trained. I'd win in a fight, but...
"Forget extermination. Let's try persuasion. Hitching a ride seems best." Problem was, the others had knives and bows too. I'd fought one-on-one plenty, but groups? Intimidating. No clue if this Nanaruk was strong or weak, and more might join. Pellelian surprisingly agreed.
-Yes, better. Now the issue: how to approach without them freaking out and attacking. Being a scary-looking snake like me was a curse in this looks-obsessed world.
-......
I had a plan.
* * *
"Boat—snake!"
One goblin yelped in fright. The others—granny excepted—leaped up, drawing weapons, nocking arrows. Snakes generate massive aggro just by appearing. But I'd played my card.
"Wait......"
Even the goblins hesitated.
"It's got a flower in its mouth."
I was. A flower clenched between my fangs. Not just that—I'd draped one between my horns too. The shocking visual stunned them. No immediate arrows.
"A snake wearing flowers?"
"Suspicious."
Not exactly friendly, but as planned.
-Embarrassing. I was fine; Pellelian was the one freaking out.
As I drew closer, they tensed, raising blades again. The mental wall held. But I'd learned from that couple. Plop. Not just the flower—I'd snagged a squirrel from a tree earlier. I set it down with the flower.
"A squirrel......"
"It's offering it to us?"
Smart goblin. I bowed my head in greeting. Once they return it, "交流" begins. A few awkwardly dipped their heads. Then—
"What are you doing? It's a monster!"
The red-skinned hobgoblin ruined it. You goblins are monsters too.
"Nock arrows! Why greet it?!"
I hated that guy. Mood soured; bows drawn.
-Heh, not working. Shall we wipe them out? Slaughter was an option.
"Jadiram!"
A new hobgoblin slid down the hillside. A female with hair tied tight, carrying a familiar boy goblin on her back.
"What's going on?"
"Nanaruk, a snake showed up."
"A snake? Oh my."
She spotted the flower in my horns.
"It brought flowers."
"You too? Snakes are dangerous."
"No......"
Our eyes met—the boy goblin's too.
"Ululululu! Sis, that's the snake! The one that saved me!"
Ah, good deeds pay off? The boy I'd freed from the pelican swarm now saved their lives. (Not mine, theirs.)
"It saved Lecchi?"
"Oh, it really did. Amazing."
Nanaruk approached.
"Want something?"
Perfect question. I raised my tail, patted my belly, pointed across the river. Repeat.
"Wants to ride the boat across?"
"No way! What if it goes berserk on board?"
"It'll be fine."
Arguments erupted. Hypnotized by a snake? Nanaruk and the boy were friendly; others terrified. Would it work? Coughs interrupted.
"Kuluk, keluk, kulok!"
Not goblin—coughing. The ancient granny goblin, covered in tattoos.
"Jadiram, Nana-ruk."
"Yes, Granny."
The bickering hobgoblins shut up.
"Snakes have always been mystical. Can't you tell it understands us? Kuluk!"
Well said, Granny.
"Let it ride. Boat's big enough......"
She was plain goblin; the two were hobgoblins. Not strictly hierarchical. The complainer clammed up.
"Great! Everyone on board. Let's cross!"
Nanaruk said brightly. I hopped on, claiming prime seat: front, between friendly granny and Nanaruk.
"Kkeungcha!"
They shoved off; the boat rocked, water spraying. Granny gazed at me, clasped hands, bowed. I bowed back. Thank you.
River wasn't wide, but current swift. Young hobgoblin rowed hard.
-Goblins are undervalued monsters, but smarter than you think.
"Seems so."
-Civilization varies by tribe, but this one's advanced. Respect for elders, egalitarian bonds.
I'd stereotyped them as ambush poison mobs. Time to ditch shallow biases.
"Hey."
Nanaruk, the hobgoblin sis. Cat-like golden eyes distinctive. Shattered looks bias too. Regular goblins matched my prejudice: small, pointy ears, green skin, ugly. But hobgoblins? Human standards approved—slightly red skin and big eyes aside.
"What's your name?"
My name? Yeah. Can't say my old three-letter Korean one. Time for cool: Zhuge Yulong, Namgung Cheonma. Or White Double-Horned Python Emperor Baeksa.
-Don't answer! Pellelian cut in. Jerked me.
-You have no name, snake. Names hold power. Don't make one lightly.
"How? I can't talk."
-...... Pellelian seemed dumb sometimes. Even if named, I couldn't speak. I just flicked my tongue. Nanaruk hadn't expected an answer.
"Look at this."
She dipped a hand in the river. Pulled out—a fish biting her finger. She laughed, tossed it to me. Gulped in one bite.
"Good you rode. Swimming? Bones in seconds."
True. Brutal river. Fish had sharp teeth; her finger bled. She sucked it, grinned. Nearly fell for her. She's goblin, I'm snake!
Crossing was quick. Opposite bank: tall reeds swaying like summer pampas grass.
"We're here!"
Boy goblin jumped up excitedly. Boat rocked. Adult yanked him, annoyed.
"Sit still till we stop, brat."
As he leaped off—
Thwip! Something shot from reeds. Pock! Arrow in the complainer's eye. Deep. He stiffened, toppled. Splash!
Sting on my back. Pock!
-Arrow. Obvious. One pierced me. Hurt! Bad!
"Arrows! Ambush!"
Nanaruk bellowed, shoving boy's head down. Other goblins leaped off. Why me?! Safest spot under boat bottom.
Luck soured.
"Get 'em, you ambush bastards!"
"Jadiram! Don't go alone! Luring into reeds!"
Arrow wasn't deep—tougher skin post-evolution. But rage burned from the wound.
-Go.
I leaped off too. Reeds rustled. Arrows sporadic, not aimed to kill.
"Single file, advance!"
Nanaruk, solid leader. Small goblins vs. hidden foes? Tough. Not for me.
"Old man, you see from above?"
-Me? Yes, can't see. Pellelian floated 2m radius. Higher vantage.
"Guide me."
-Easy. Straight ahead.
Reeds parted for me unlike goblins.
-Bit right. Ten total.
Common sense: watch for snakes in brush. Angry viper? Worse.
-Two clustered.
Pushed through: two bow goblins. You bastards. Leap. Accelerate. Exposed chest—
Bite. Crunch! Landed; blood sprayed from fallen goblin's chest. Survivor screamed.
"Gaaah! Heart-eating snake!"
Heart-Eating Snake. My first epithet.