The Witch (4)
The door slammed shut with a thunderous bang.
Azazel Anaide gripped her gnarled wooden staff tightly and stormed out. At her overly sensitive reaction, Aria could only offer a bitter smile.
At first, she hadn’t understood the girl’s explosive response. It was only natural—she had no idea why Azazel was so angry. So she thought about it. What could possibly have made that pretty young lady so furious?
People could seem sharp-eyed yet remain utterly clueless. Unless something was spelled out clearly, they simply wouldn’t get it. That was why suspicion and doubt took root. Love, resentment, rage, sorrow—if none of them were conveyed through words, they all became murky and unclear. Wasn’t that why the saying existed: You can see ten fathoms into the sea, but not even one into a person’s heart?
Anyway, sometimes people expressed their feelings through actions instead of words. That was exactly what Azazel had done just now. From what Aria could see, the girl’s every movement was soaked in unmistakable hurt and betrayal. The question was, who was that lingering emotion directed at?
It must be Ain.
Aria had noticed that ever since Azazel awakened, her gaze had been fixed on him. Those sorrowful, almost pitiful eyes were so obvious that even the densest person would have realized it. That this girl named Azazel was in love with Ain.
Once she reached that conclusion, every one of the girl’s actions suddenly made perfect sense.
Just imagine it. The person you loved shows up with a complete stranger clinging to his side. He smiles tenderly at her, touches her gently, and whispers sweet words of love—right in front of you.
Ah.
A dizzying wave of nausea slammed into her skull. She had only imagined it for a moment, yet her mind boiled and melted away. Even when she tried to swallow her anger, the charred, blackened emotions refused to settle. Only then did Aria truly understand how Azazel felt. She finally realized why the girl had gone so completely berserk.
If just picturing it for a second made her feel like she was losing her mind from jealousy toward some unknown woman, how much must Azazel have hated her? It must have felt like the world was collapsing. No wonder rational thought had become impossible. How could anyone have a calm conversation with the person who had stolen something so precious?
When she put herself in Azazel’s shoes, Aria found the girl’s outrageous behavior almost justified. And with that realization came a wave of pity.
Maybe… I stole the only safe place she had left to return to.
The thought refused to leave her alone.
…Still, that was a bit much, though.
No matter how angry someone was, if they came at you that aggressively, who could possibly respond kindly? Aria concluded that Azazel must be terribly clumsy when it came to relationships and expressing her emotions.
She had been lost in these heavy thoughts for several minutes when Ain suddenly poked her cheek.
“Eek!”
Aria reacted half a beat too late to the unexpected touch. Ain burst out laughing like a mischievous brat at the squeak she made. To her, it was the most wonderful smile in the world.
“Sorry for dragging you into this mess with that weird girl.”
His large hand naturally moved to her head. Aria obediently lowered her head like a well-behaved hamster being handled. His palm was rough and calloused from swinging a sword and doing harsh labor, yet he always adjusted his strength so he wouldn’t hurt her. She loved this rough touch and the careful consideration behind it. It let her understand what it felt like to be cherished.
It was completely different from the terrifying, disgusting hands of men she had known before.
“It’s not something you need to apologize for, Ain.”
“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have had to hear those awful things from her.”
At his words, Azazel’s insults floated back into her mind. Cunt. Whore. Bitch. Every single one had been a misogynistic slur. The funny part was that none of them were technically wrong.
“They weren’t entirely inaccurate.”
At her self-deprecating remark, Ain’s face darkened into something fierce.
“It’s not like you wanted to become that.”
Aria smiled awkwardly and turned her head away. Even if she hadn’t wanted it, the fact remained that she was no longer pure, didn’t it? The words stung like salt in an open wound.
“Ain, your angry face is scary.”
“Don’t change the subject. And don’t look away—look me straight in the eyes.”
Aria felt both happy and sad that he was getting angry on her behalf. It was such a contradictory feeling.
“I’d appreciate it if you recognized that counts as coercion too.”
“Aria.”
“…Yes?”
“I love you.”
“…Pardon?”
It was nice to hear, but the timing made it feel completely out of place. She tilted her head at him, only to find his expression dead serious.
“Since you won’t love yourself, I have no choice but to love you instead. Right?”
Aria sucked in a breath, then immediately started coughing from the sudden lack of oxygen. Her face flushed as red as molten iron in a furnace.
“H-how does that even follow? Isn’t that a massive logical leap?”
“Yeah. I love you.”
Could someone really say “I love you” that casually? Shouldn’t those words be more tender, more sacred? Was he really treating it like a simple morning greeting?
…Not that she minded.
But still, wasn’t something a little off here?
“My beloved Aria.”
Oh dear. Now it had become a prefix.
Aria covered her face with both hands.
“Stop teasing me.”
“I’m not teasing you, my beloved Aria.”
Her self-deprecating thoughts had flown far away long ago. All that remained was fresh, budding affection and the cringeworthy embarrassment that made her toes curl. She wished someone would come rein Ain in.
“…I-I feel like I’m going to die of embarrassment.”
“It’s not like I’ve only been doing this for a day or two.”
“I still can’t get used to it.”
“Then you’ll just have to get used to it.”
How could she possibly get used to it? When her love for him grew bigger every single day. When every moment with him felt brand new. There was no way she could ever grow accustomed to it.
When had it started?
Her ears listened for his voice. Her eyes followed his every move. Her nose breathed in his scent. Her lips called his name.
This heart. This feeling.
It must be love.
I’m happy.
Even if these emotions might one day be buried and crumble away, the fact that I felt this way about you will never be erased.
Yes. When I think of you, my heart turns selfish. I lose the capacity to care about anyone else.
Goddess of Carnal Love. Just this once, please forgive me for moving according to my own desires.
Aria’s eyes widened as she moved toward Ain with surprising force. He let out an impressed whistle.
“Whoa, what’s this?”
Look at that relaxed face. I’ll wipe that composure right off it.
Standing on her tiptoes, Aria pressed her lips to his. It was a sudden, surprise kiss.
“……”
“……”
Ain’s face was nearly expressionless. Could this be considered stealing his composure?
“How cheeky.”
He pulled her into his arms and tumbled them both onto the bed. Her soft, plush breasts were crushed against his firm, solid chest. It hurt and felt suffocating, yet somehow she didn’t mind this kind of pressure at all. Her heart pounded violently.
“Very cheeky indeed.”
“…Why do you keep repeating that?”
“Curious?”
A dangerous glint flickered in his eyes. Aria suddenly felt a jolt of fear and quickly looked away.
“N-no, never mind. It’s nothing.”
“If it’s you, I wouldn’t mind teaching you.”
Sensing the ominous direction this was heading, she apologized immediately.
“I-I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“You know you did something wrong?”
It was a teasing question. Aria felt the urgent need to change the subject.
“U-um, that woman… Azazel, was it? That was her name, right?”
Ain frowned slightly. “And?”
“I think Miss Azazel has feelings for you, Ain.”
“Her?”
His face scrunched up as if she had just told a bad joke. This man really has no idea that Azazel likes him. Well, considering how she had flown into a rage every time they met, it would be strange for him to assume she harbored any tender feelings.
“You look like you don’t believe me at all.”
“That’s the second most unbelievable thing I’ve heard this year.”
Not the first, but the second. Now Aria was curious what the most unbelievable thing was.
“What was the first?”
“When you said you were fine.”
…She should never have asked. Aria scratched her cheek with her index finger and avoided his gaze.
Azazel rented a room at the inn. Her exhausted body had played a major role in her decision—she simply didn’t have the energy to go anywhere else. What terrible twist of fate was this? The room she ended up with was right next to Ashtain’s.
Whatever. Thinking about it will only give me a headache. I should just rest.
Using the key the innkeeper had given her, Azazel unlocked the door and stepped inside. It was a sparse room containing nothing but a built-in bed and a wardrobe. She felt that this bleak emptiness somehow mirrored her own heart.
Looking out the low window, she saw the sun had already set and deep darkness was creeping in. Instead of sitting on the bed, she slid down the wall and crouched on the floor. She hugged her gnarled wooden staff to her chest, drew one knee up, and buried her head against it.
She felt miserable.
No matter how hard she tried to shake off the feeling, it clung to her like sticky oil, refusing to let her find any strength. Ashtain. Even though they had parted on terrible terms, she had believed he would welcome her back with open arms. She had thought they could brush aside the hurt feelings and move toward something deeper.
But that had only been her own hopeful delusion. Nothing more than a young girl’s fantasy.
Look at reality. He had brought a new woman right in front of her, and their relationship clearly ran much deeper than anything she had with him. It hurt so much she could barely breathe.
What did that make her—the one who had waited eagerly for every moment with him, heart fluttering with anticipation? Just a fool?
Her breath caught. The connection between her and Ashtain suddenly felt like nothing at all. The fact that she could only feel jealousy and envy made her feel increasingly pathetic and worthless. It felt like her insides were rotting away. Her chest tightened. It squeezed so hard it hurt.
She felt as heavy as a rusted lump of iron tossed into the ocean, sinking endlessly into the depths.
“………Why her and not me?”
I’m talented. I’m useful. I’m the one who belongs at Ashtain’s side. Me.
A sound came from the next room. A sweet, syrupy voice. Little gasps. Soft moans. It sounded like someone was trying to hold back.
The soundproofing here is terrible.
Azazel moved to cast a silencing spell, but she realized something before she could finish. Her room was at the very end of the hallway. The only room next to hers was Ashtain’s.
So those lewd moans were leaking out from his room?
Her heart ached so badly it felt like it might stop at any moment. It was as if a thin, long needle was stabbing into her heart over and over.
It was suffocating. Agonizing. Her head was spinning.
Someone. Anyone. Please make this pain stop. I’m begging you.
Azazel buried her face deeper. She covered her ears with both arms as if trying to block out the sound. A silencing spell would have completely cut off the noise. So why wasn’t she using it?
Because, deep down, she wanted to hear the gentle timbre of Ashtain’s voice as it drifted through the wall. Even though she knew his affection wasn’t directed at her, there was still a part of Azazel that desperately craved it.
It was the most horrible night of her life.