The Alchemist’s Performance
My fingertips tingled with tension as I worked directly under Soleia’s unwavering gaze. I could have just brought the finished product, I thought. But I had insisted on performing the act of combining the ingredients right in front of her for a reason—it was a matter of trust. I didn't want her suspecting that I might have slipped some poison into the mixture. But, if I were being entirely honest, the biggest reason was to make a show of my effort. I’ve used such rare, hard-to-find ingredients, so please, just acknowledge my hard work. It was far more effective to show her the process of handling each rare component one by one than to explain it in a pathetic, long-winded speech.
I carefully arranged the tools I had pulled from my robe onto the table. Beside the Tears of the Sea Dragon, which emitted a faint, ethereal glow, I laid out cold-infused medicinal herbs that grew only in the extreme north and refined Mana Stone powder. I could feel Soleia’s eyes tracking every movement of my hands.
"Oh?" Soleia leaned forward slightly, a note of genuine intrigue in her voice.
"This is something that will come into direct contact with your body, Soleia. It shouldn't have even the slightest margin of error. Besides, it would be unsettling if you didn't know exactly what it was made of, wouldn't it?"
At my words, Soleia let out a languid laugh. "Heh, I don't think you'd use anything dangerous to my person, Cassian."
She was right. If anything were to happen to Soleia here, I wouldn't be safe either. The maids in the castle already knew I was alone with her, and there was no telling where other, unseen eyes might be watching. I swallowed hard and carefully began to mix the first set of ingredients. What if... no, that can't be right, can it? A sudden thought crossed my mind about how truly messed up this romance fantasy world could be, but I forced my hands to keep moving. No, I managed to capture the witch without any issues. What could possibly go wrong? This was a method proven effective even in the webtoon; surely it wouldn't be different here. Everything I had seen in the webtoon had been accurate so far, and if this were the only thing that failed, it would be nothing short of a personal vendetta from the world itself. Even if the world was out to get me, this was akin to breaking the very logic of the narrative. So, I stifled the anxiety that began to creep up. I had already started. It was too late to stop just because of some vague, uncertain fear. If I did that, I would be no better than the many people who had lied to Soleia.
The biting cold of the ingredients against my fingertips and Soleia’s burning gaze intersected in the air. In the silence of the reception room, only the faint, crisp sounds of me refining the materials rang out clearly. As the cooling stone powder, a specialty of the north, was mixed into the Tears of the Sea Dragon, a vortex of blue mana erupted within the transparent container. The mana backlash was stronger than I had anticipated. This was my first time handling materials of this caliber. Still, with the help of my magic tool, it wasn't impossible. Cold sweat began to bead on my back. As if not wanting to disturb me, Soleia watched me quietly, her chin resting on her hand. With no room for error, I poured my mana into the mixture, focusing entirely on balancing the ratios.
Soleia watched Cassian intently as he busied himself with the magic tool. Seeing his side profile, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration, she swallowed a self-deprecating murmur in her heart. I swore I wouldn't rely on others... How truly foolish you are, Soleia. When Cassian had first guaranteed he could treat her scars, the emotion Soleia felt wasn't hope, but an unidentifiable sense of disappointment. A resignation that whispered, "You, too, are no different from those common, shallow fools." It was understandable; Soleia’s curse was in the realm of the incurable, a condition that even the empire’s most renowned physicians and the High Priest himself had shaken their heads at. She had wondered if perhaps a Saintess might know a way, but the Saintess was far too busy to meet, and Soleia herself no longer wished to harbor any expectations.
Her hideously twisted, melted half-face had long since become a part of her daily life, and her expectations of people had melted away along with her scars. Cassian Valenvalt. The first memory she shared with him couldn't even be described as the worst. Around the age of seven, there had been talk of an engagement between them and Kyle Valenvalt. Though I could count the number of times I actually met Kyle Valenvalt on one hand. One day, she had visited the Valenvalt estate to foster their connection. The Cassian she met in the small garden was excessively calm and cold, unlike any other child his age. But that maturity was the problem. When her mask had accidentally slipped, revealing her bare face, the young Cassian hadn't been flustered or moved to tears; instead, he had looked at her with eyes so cold they felt like nails driven into her heart. It was a cruel mistake made by a child who pretended to be an adult but was, in fact, immature.
That indifferent, sharp-tongued insult. It was after that day that Soleia began to hide her face from the world more thoroughly, more rigidly. But when we met again, he was different. It was the year-end grand banquet held after the Ability Selection Ceremony when they were ten. There was no reason to go to Valenvalt, but she didn't want to stay in the Imperial Palace either. She thought the northern cold would be better than enduring the pitying gazes of those who compared her to her twin brother. So, she decided to head to the Valenvalt territory for the first time in a long while. It was a place she hadn't visited since that tragic day, but she had made the decision out of a lingering sense of nostalgia. She had thought, quite naively, that she just needed to avoid Cassian.
But was it a twist of fate? Soleia and Cassian had crossed paths again in the depths of a garden where she thought no one would come. At the time, she had been testing her newly awakened unique ability, fascinated by it. She had been startled by Cassian’s unexpected appearance, but she had hidden her expression behind her mask, pretending as if nothing were wrong. Amnesia, he said. She still found it hard to believe. But after looking into it, she found it to be true. The Cassian she met in that garden at ten was completely different from the cruel child she had known at seven. The conversation she shared with him was enough to soothe the deep wounds she had sustained at seven. No, perhaps it was even more than that. I liked that look in his eyes. It felt like he was looking straight at me as a person, not at the hideous scar hidden by my mask. Instead of the fake pity of the Imperial family or the miserable comparisons with her twin brother, Cassian’s eyes held only the existence of Soleia. That raw, unfamiliar sensation was so precious that Soleia had found herself playing pranks on him without even realizing it. She wanted to see more of his flustered reactions, and she wanted to talk to him just a little bit more.
But the parting that followed their brief reunion had been long. She had wanted to run to the north immediately, but the former Emperor, who was overprotective of her, had not easily permitted her to leave. It was a decision made with Soleia in mind, but in the end, she had to endure a long time in the Imperial Palace, which felt like a prison without bars. It wasn't a wait without a promise, however. They were bound by the name of fiancé, and the Academy, which every Imperial royal had to attend, was waiting. There, she could face him to her heart’s content, away from the former Emperor’s eyes. So, as soon as she received word that Cassian had arrived at the Academy, Soleia had gone straight to find him without looking back. She was filled with the longing she had built up over the years and the expectation of wanting to confirm what this feeling meant.
Cassian, whom she had met again under the sunset sky. To say it wasn't bad would be a lie. Soleia’s emotions that day were vivid. When Cassian asked if she disliked the engagement, her honest feelings were closer to "yes." The shackles of the Imperial family that constrained her freedom, the political union decided from the moment she was born—none of that could be pleasant for Soleia. The institution of engagement itself was just another invisible prison to her. But the clear answer of "I hate it" that had risen to her lips scattered and lost its way the moment she met Cassian’s eyes. Instead, she had given an ambiguous answer. And one more thing. For some reason, she couldn't easily bring herself to say that she was satisfied. Frustration. She still didn't know what she was feeling frustrated about. Soleia moved her gaze to Cassian, who was absorbed in his work, unable to understand the unfamiliar emotion. There was no expectation in Soleia’s eyes. If there was one thing she wished for, it was this: Please, don't disappoint me.
It was a short while later that a low voice, ringing in her ears, broke Soleia’s deep contemplation.