The Weight of the Heir
Time passed swiftly after the Ability Selection Ceremony. A few months flew by like an arrow, and before I knew it, the day of the Grand Banquet had arrived. I was already seated within the banquet hall. I had retreated to a corner where the noise of the bustling crowd felt distant. Watching the lavishly decorated hall, I caught my breath in silence. The massive chandelier hanging from the ceiling was adorned with jewels, shining brilliantly as if to flaunt the wealth of noble society, but to me, desperate for a moment of rest, that light was far too dazzling and overstimulating.
The announcement of the successor had already concluded. I had stood in the most burdensome spot, where all eyes were fixed, greeting countless nobles and declaring the glory of my family and the North to signal the start of the banquet. If I hadn't spent the last few months preparing my heart to death, I might have stumbled over my words and made a mistake out of sheer tension. Originally, this was supposed to be a day for the ten-year-olds who had just awakened their unique abilities, but because the announcement of the Margrave’s successor had been tacked on, I had become the protagonist by default.
Drained of all energy by the pouring attention and the endless cycle of pleasantries, I had fled to this corner like a runaway. The hyena-like gazes of the nobles... the way they pounced persistently the moment they spotted prey was enough to make my skin crawl. If I hadn't been carrying the name of the great Valenvalt family, or if my inner self hadn't been that of an adult, I might have crumbled under that pressure long ago.
I realized once again how terrifying the lust for power truly is. That greedy heat, viewing the person in front of them not as a human being, but as a tool or a stepping stone to be used for the family's gain. They had no interest in the exhaustion hidden behind my smile. They were only clicking their mental calculators, desperate to secure a spot in the future of the North, which I would soon govern, and the authority I held as the successor.
'So this is the air I have to breathe for the rest of my life.'
A bitter aftertaste remained. The fact that every scene of laughing and chatting under the gorgeous chandelier was, in reality, a battlefield where everyone hid sharp blades while looking for a gap in the other's armor, hit home with newfound clarity. It was a cold reality. To think there was power-struggling even at a festival like this.
“Haa….” A sigh escaped my lips involuntarily. I had forced myself to endure because I knew it was right to build connections with influential nobles and their children for the sake of the future, but for someone like me, who had no ambition for success, this place was as grueling as wearing clothes that didn't fit while acting out a role.
I clenched and unclenched my fists. It was the same during the goblin subjugation; I had no intention of running away from my given duty, but that didn't make it any less difficult. It wasn't wrong for me to want to rest, was it? It wasn't like I was trying to run away like Kyle.
'Thinking about it makes me angry again.'
Kyle, who abandoned the position of successor and ran away. The object of my hatred. Now, he was no different from a stranger. It was practically the same as him being disowned. Just thinking about it made my chest feel tight. Even just recalling the name Kyle caused a suffocating sensation to rise to my throat, making it hard to breathe. His very existence was enough to drain a person's energy. Now, Kyle's face, which I had only known through family portraits, came to mind. A cheerful, handsome man, unlike Cassian. He had the look of a charmer, but to me, he was nothing but a source of frustration.
Feeling stifled, I called over a passing waiter and took a drink. The waiter was excessively polite. As someone who had been an ordinary citizen in my past life, I still felt a strange sense of novelty whenever I encountered their ingrained, formal demeanor. Since he was a servant of our family, he was bound to be especially attentive to me. It was a sensation that felt both familiar and yet, at times, strangely alien. Perhaps because I wasn't in a position to receive such treatment from the start, I reacted to it more sensitively.
'Awkward, I suppose.'
As I lightly swirled the glass in my hand, the ice and yellow liquid inside reflected the light of the chandelier, clinking cheerfully. Feeling that subtle vibration, I adjusted my grip on the glass. As the chill of the glass seeped into my palm, the heat that had built up from dealing with the people felt like it was cooling down, just a little.
'Successor... what an ill-fitting title.'
In my past life, I was busy enough just taking care of my own body, but now I wore the name tag of a successor responsible for a vast territory in the North. It was a position as undeserved and precarious as the expensive glass I held in my hand.
I took a long sip of the refreshing, yellow lemon drink. Looking down at the liquid sparkling in the glass under the chandelier's light, I truly realized that I was standing in the very center of this glamorous world. I had expected it to be tiring even before I experienced it, but having gone through it with my whole body on the day itself, the exhaustion that washed over me was beyond imagination.
I downed the rest of the drink in one go. I handed the empty glass to a passing collector waiter and walked out of the banquet hall without a shred of regret. I wanted to breathe in some cool air. It was partly because of the heat inside, but mostly because I wanted to avoid the stinging gazes of the young ladies that had been piercing the back of my head since earlier.
Cassian had always been exceptionally good-looking. Even before I possessed this body, the original work had set him up as the "handsome young master of the North," and the appearance I actually saw in the mirror was even more handsome than I had imagined. Thanks to that, the gazes of the girls looking at me held something more than simple curiosity. In other words, they were gazes of longing and affection. But to me, such intense attention was a burden far greater than I had anticipated. If I were the male lead of a romance fantasy, perhaps I would have skillfully enjoyed such attention or ignored it with arrogance, but for someone who was an ordinary citizen in a past life, it was attention that was far too much to handle.
'I'll have to get used to it, but... at least not today.'
Having spent almost all my time with only Kalia while cutting off interactions with others at the mansion, I had absolutely no immunity to these gazes mixed with such colorful emotions. I almost missed the indifferent and cold gaze of Kalia, who used to look at me as if she would cut me down during sword training.
I opened the banquet hall door and stepped outside. As the cold northern night air washed deep into my lungs, my head finally felt a bit clearer. Instead of the artificial yellow lights of the banquet hall, a garden bathed in calm, soft moonlight unfolded before me. As the antique yet noisy music faded beyond the door, I could finally breathe. I looked up at the gentle moonlight hanging in the sky. Using that soft beam of light as a guide, I slowly moved my feet toward the depths of the garden.
Although I was moving away from the banquet building, I could still see people outside occasionally. There were those like me who had grown tired of the noise and crowds of the banquet, or couples spending secret time together. It felt like the latter were overwhelmingly more numerous. People say noble society is conservative and closed-off, but behind such glamorous banquets, surprisingly open aspects sometimes revealed themselves. Of course, they were all doing it in secret to save face. In the end, I thought that where people live is much the same, whether in my past life or here.
Rather than staying here where the energy of people was still mixed, I stepped deeper into the garden, wanting to fully enjoy the silence of being alone. As I went further in, the artificial lanterns disappeared, and only the cool moonlight lit the path. The darkness deepened, but the quiet atmosphere was quite tasteful and not bad at all. Rather than the flashing jewel light of the chandelier, this calmly settled moonlight was a much more comfortable sanctuary for me right now.
Crunch, crunch. Only the sound of my footsteps on the grass echoed through the quiet garden. The place I was heading toward was the center of the garden, where flowers were said to be in full bloom. I had heard there was a bench placed there where I could lean back for a while. In my current state, I would be able to rest comfortably there without anyone's interference.
'They said the flowers were blooming beautifully, too.'
Had I heard that the scenery seen at night was much more beautiful and dreamlike than during the day? I was glad I had asked the maids in advance for a place to rest quietly in the garden, just in case. Preparedness shines in such trivial moments.
I moved my feet a little further inside. The noise of the banquet hall had now completely faded away. Instead, the scent of flowers holding the night dew brushed against the tip of my nose, and petals shining faintly under the moonlight were showing off their beauty all over the garden. My eyes, tired from the jewel light of the chandelier, finally felt comfortable. It was while I was walking, feeling such sentiments, that I felt a faint wave of strange mana near a bench at the far end of the garden.
'Is there already someone there?'
It was too far to turn back now. I didn't want to waste the effort of coming all this way. Since I didn't hear any conversation, it seemed they were alone, and if so, it would be fine to sit at a reasonable distance and rest. I stepped into the center of the garden, where the moonlight shone most clearly. And what appeared before my eyes was a scene like a fantasy.
A swarm of blue butterflies fluttering as they cut through the night air. Surrounded by that mysterious light, a girl with golden hair was there, receiving the soft moonlight with her whole body. The faint blue glow emitted by the butterflies flowed over the girl's golden hair, creating a strange atmosphere.
'It's dreamlike...'
I found myself staring blankly, lost in thought. That was how detached from the world it felt. The noise of the banquet hall that had been tormenting me until a moment ago, and the greedy laughter of the nobles, were no longer audible. Only the sound of the blue butterflies' wings filled the quiet silence.