Chapter 107: Academy Romance Manipulation Team (2)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 107: Academy Romance Manipulation Team (2)
After hearing everything from Boradori, I decided to reactivate the Romance Manipulation Team.
"But didn't all of those end in failure?"
"Shut up."
It wasn't like everything failed.
The first one we pushed, the Minor Sword Emperor... was a total disaster.
Prince Esid... was also a total disaster.
The alliance I formed with the Fire Spammer and Senior Loreliya... they were also utterly crushed by Daisy.
"..."
Success rate: 0%.
But hey, we put in the effort, so that counts for something, right?
"Sure it does. Especially since your own romance success rate has hit 200%."
"..."
"Agh!"
After giving Boradori a good smack on the head, I spent some time in my room quietly reflecting.
"...Assessment complete. I can't do this alone."
I had to admit it: across both my past and present lives, I had lived a life that was largely irrelevant to romance.
That was why I sought help.
Candidate 1.
"What?"
Uncle Aeryun, who was almost certainly married.
"Don't you feel sorry for the Fire Spammer?"
Uncle Aeryun’s gaze shifted toward the corner, where the Fire Spammer was currently groaning in despair.
"Well, I do, but..."
"I need the know-how of a middle-aged man who even has a kid!"
"...I am single. I-I am twenty years old!"
Claiming to be twenty with that face? Talk about having no conscience.
"I think denying the existence of your own daughter to complete a mission is an admirable trait for an agent, but aren't you getting a bit too lost in the 'concept'? Isn't it a bit much?"
"...?"
"A year has passed. That makes you twenty-one."
"...!"
This is the typical pitfall of a rote-memorized persona. He was so obsessed with it that he forgot to apply the latest patch.
"If you won't cooperate, I have no choice."
"What kind of threat are you even trying to—"
Uncle Aeryun spoke up, looking horrified, but I cut him off.
"I was just going to ask someone else."
I meant it quite literally—if he wouldn't do it, there was nothing I could do. He looked incredibly wronged by my bluntness.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Why?"
"Seeing your reaction, your dating intel is probably twenty years old. It's likely useless..."
"Hey! It's not that old!"
Leaving behind the unmotivated uncle with his ancient experience, I went to find my next comrade.
Candidate 2.
Violet, who was similar to me—or perhaps had read even more RoFans.
"No thanks."
But I was rejected again.
"Don't you feel any pity for our Fire Spammer?!"
I appealed to her sense of universal human compassion, but...
"Nope."
Does this girl even have a heart?
"To be honest, he barely appeared in the original work, so I don't really feel any attachment to him."
"You merciless original-work purist."
"...And it's not like we're that close here, either. If anything, since he's shouting 'Down with Daisy,' as the female lead's childhood friend, he feels more like an enemy."
"Weren't you on Team Esid?"
"I was, but I have this weird affection for the initial RoFan cast, you know?"
"Why don't you just date them then?"
That's usually how these 'Extra in a RoFan' stories go.
"Life is a comedy when seen from afar, but a tragedy when seen up close. Don't you know that? I can't handle those guys."
"Then what does that make me?"
"An impressive bastard?"
"Ugh..."
I gave Violet a smack on the head as well and cleanly gave up.
It wasn't like this was a secret mission, nor did it seem to be an important foreshadowing element from the original work. I could pressure Boradori, but I couldn't force Violet.
And the biggest reason was...
"It's obvious you've never dated anyone either..."
"Wh-what?! It's not that I couldn't, it's that I didn't!"
"That's what they all say."
I knew that line all too well from experience.
"It's true! I got confessed to five times in high school alone, and when I worked part-time at the convenience store, it happened at least thirty times...!"
"Weren't most of those just creeps?"
"...Well, yes, but still!"
Leaving behind Violet, who looked just as wronged as Uncle Aeryun, I attempted to recruit my third comrade.
"Hmm. I would like to help with such a matter, but..."
It was none other than an original member of our Academy Romance Manipulation Team and my second (forced) lover, Senior Loreliya.
She looked at me with a face full of dissatisfaction and asked, "But why for that kind of person..."
I understood. From the perspective of someone who didn't understand the principles of the RoFan world, the Magic Spammer probably looked like trash.
...Honestly, even if you did understand the RoFan world, he still looked like trash.
However, if you thought about it, the Magic Spammer was also a victim who had his brains scrambled by a RoFan Death Beam. It was an absolute love with zero probability that hit him the moment they met—what could he have done?
"What can we do? He says he's dying of love."
...That was just what I said for the sake of it. The problem was simply that the Fire Spammer was head over heels.
"...You seem to care about Marie more than I expected."
At that, Senior Loreliya narrowed her eyes and looked at me. Perhaps because of her experience being a victim of (forced) lover NTR once before, she looked very suspicious.
"You. Were you just thinking something very impure?"
As expected of the daughter of a Duke, the pinnacle of the noble world where conspiracies and trickery run rampant.
...She can even use mind reading.
"I am being framed."
"Your tone doesn't sound like someone being framed at all."
I really was. Despite my tone, I was sincerely frustrated. My desire to help the Fire Spammer wasn't out of self-interest; it was just because her usual entertaining reactions had disappeared.
It was hard to explain to Senior Loreliya, who hadn't experienced our club's usual atmosphere, but the Fire Spammer was so broken that she just responded with a hollow "Wow" even after seeing me perform flame magic.
If there had been some problematic dialogue during her conversation with the Magic Spammer, that would be one thing. But there wasn't even anything like that.
Thanks to this, one of the few joys in my bleak Academy life had vanished.
Uncle Aeryun was busy because of this incident. Taylor was occasionally dragged away by him, so in our free time, it was just me, the Fire Spammer, and the freshmen.
Because of the Fire Spammer, who looked like she had tasted the despair of the world in the corner, the already awkward freshmen were having an even more awkward club experience.
...I felt a sense of crisis that the newbies might all run away. Even though we had easily blocked the first-year terror attack, the atmosphere was terrible.
"If we don't solve this quickly, our club is going to go under."
Since that explanation was tedious and complicated, I summarized it simply.
"That's a very 'you' kind of answer..."
Though she looked reluctant, Senior Loreliya nodded as if she understood.
"Fine. So, what do we need to do?"
"First, I plan to recruit more comrades."
"Comrades? Isn't the two of us enough?"
It was nice to see her so confident, but...
"If that were the case, you would have beaten Daisy last year."
She shut her mouth at the blunt fact.
"..."
"It's not just your problem, Senior. You, the Fire Spammer, and even me... our success rate so far is 0%!"
"...You speak as if there were more incidents than just ours."
"There were a few more things that happened that you don't know about."
"You say that so casually—the fact that there were secrets kept from me."
What's between us? If she really wanted to know, she could just grill Uncle Aeryun and find out what happened anyway.
"Fine. So, who is this new comrade?"
As if my thought wasn't wrong, instead of pressing me about the secrets, she asked who the new addition would be.
I explained about Princess Ruelle, the Magic Spammer's younger sister and the Princess of Dale.
"Would Prince Arwen's sister really take our side?"
Senior Loreliya expressed her doubt, but...
"I seriously don't understand. Why would someone like Marie-unni like a piece of crap like him...?"
"..."
Hearing the torrent of complaints about the Magic Spammer, the Senior had no choice but to nod.
It seemed Princess Ruelle had a lot of grievances.
"I don't get it. What is Marie-unni lacking? She's pretty. She has a great personality. She's good at magic."
Hmm. Is she that great?
"And they're childhood friends, so it's not like they just met and are awkward... She's even devoted enough to accept my brother's ridiculous requests..."
Ho-honestly, it feels more like she's a pushover than devoted, but I guess you could call it devotion if you put it nicely.
"Even in that situation, she has the talent and effort to master fire magic after switching tracks. And even though that crazy bastard openly follows another woman around, she's still waiting for him!"
...Suddenly, a famous scene from a variety show I saw in my past life comes to mind. 'If you've done that much and it still doesn't work... give up.' Was that it?
"...That's what she says. What do you think?"
"Ugh..."
That's right. Gathered here were the members of the Academy Romance Manipulation Team.
Including the new recruit Princess Ruelle, the original members—me and Senior Loreliya—and the Fire Spammer.
The Fire Spammer was surrounded by the three of us, getting grilled like a corporate CEO dragged into a public hearing.
"Indeed. Marie, you are largely at fault this time. No matter how great your love for the other person is, there are boundaries that must be respected."
"S-Senior, you..."
It was the first counterattack from the Fire Spammer, who had been taking hits the whole time. At that, Senior Loreliya momentarily flustered and began to pour out words.
"M-Me? Mine was a loveless engagement! It was based on power rather than feelings. A relationship that can be easily ended the moment either side doesn't want it!"
"...I'm not even engaged."
"Junior Ruelle even said it's a relationship officially recognized by the Royal Family, which is as good as an engagement!"
"That's right! My father and all my mothers are supporting Marie-sunbae!"
"See? It's a completely different situation from mine!"
"For saying that, you and Adam..."
"Th-That's!"
"What?!"
At Senior Loreliya's sudden flustered state, Princess Ruelle's eyes lit up as she glared at me.
It was a look that said, 'You're trash too!' but I could understand. In her mentally unstable state caused by the Magic Spammer, anything could sound like trash if she didn't know the full story.
Therefore, let's tell the truth without omitting anything.
"..."
"..."
The gaze that had been directed at me shifted straight back to Senior Loreliya.
As expected of a talent who learned the sword alone in a country full of Magic Spammers, she made a rational and correct judgment.
"Th-This also has a story..."
"We'll hear that later. So, what are you going to do now, Marie-unni?"
Cutting off Senior Loreliya's attempt at an explanation, she got back to the main point.
Will she give up like this? Or will she try again?
"I'm hopeless..."
Seeing the shriveled-up Fire Spammer, Princess Ruelle...
"Great!"
...cheered.
"...Huh?"
"That's right. If it's hopeless, just give up. Don't linger on something that won't work. Start a new life!"
"Wait, what?"
"Don't worry. I'll talk to my father and prepare the most impressive man in all of Dale. Just tell me what you want. Looks? Magic talent? Family background or wealth? I'm confident I can prepare whatever you want!"
"Ugh..."
The Fire Spammer shriveled even further under Princess Ruelle's storm of words.
"Or is there someone you like here at the Academy? International marriage is a bit complicated, but if you want, I'll even create a diplomatic issue to bring him in as a live-in son-in-law!"
"......No."
"You don't want a live-in son-in-law? Then..."
"If it's not Arwen-sama... I don't want anyone!"
Even at the Fire Spammer's tearful cry, Princess Ruelle remained calm. No, beyond calm, her gaze seemed to turn cold.
"Then you shouldn't do things halfway. Even if it fails, you have to charge right in."
She was right. To save a Magic Spammer consumed by RoFan tropes, ordinary methods wouldn't work.
...Well, honestly, there was no guarantee anything would work.
That was why we needed a more aggressive method...
"...It's the 'Operation: Room You Can't Leave Without XXing'!"
"......?"
Wait, Princess. I missed that for a second because I was thinking about something else.
Aren't we skipping way too many steps here?