I'm Retiring as an Adventurer (2)

Roughly eighteen years ago.

“...Huh?”

When I opened my eyes, I found myself dragged into some bizarre place. Abrupt and out of nowhere, sure, but no other words could more plainly describe the predicament I was in. Caught in the same endless grind as any other Korean salaryman—commuting, slaving away at the office, and dragging myself back home day in and day out—it happened without the slightest warning.

Accompanying that mysterious voice echoing in my head, I opened my eyes to discover I had been stuffed into the body of a little girl named Teresia. Then came a chorus of voices ringing in my mind. They droned on about various things, but to boil it down to the essentials:

That was about the long and short of it. The trouble was, this entire arrangement came with two glaring problems. First, I was originally a grown man, yet I had been reincarnated as a little girl. Second, the special privilege I had been granted was utter garbage.

For the record, my special trait was as follows:

Even thinking back on it now, to someone who had lived as a red-blooded man, that whole description was suspicious beyond belief. Purity this, beauty that, mind-spirit-body whatever. No matter how I looked at it, the terminology triggered nothing but visceral disgust in a former guy like me. Especially that very last clause:

* However, upon the loss of your purity, all accumulated stats shall be irrevocably inherited by your next-generation child.

Reading that sent an inescapable chill of dread creeping up my spine. Why the hell did that clause even need to exist? What, were they telling me to pop out a kid? Me, an ex-dude?!

Bullshit. In all my days, I had never heard such insane horse shit. Hey, I completed my mandatory military service in the Republic of Korea, damn it!

That was right. I was a resident of another world living under the name Teresia—and, simultaneously, an Earthling reborn in an unfamiliar land.

“...Ah.”

Slowly opening my eyes as though surfacing from a long, lingering dream, I stared up at the familiar ceiling and took in my surroundings.

“Was that... a dream? Why the hell am I dreaming about ancient history at this point...?”

The moment I realized this wasn't some dreamscape but my very own home, I collapsed back into the mattress with a soft thud and stared at the ceiling once more.

Naturally, there was nothing up there—just a bare, empty expanse, followed by a soothing silence that crept in and filled the room. Emptiness, purposelessness, and quiet. In a space wrapped in those three glorious blessings...

“This... this is what living is all about...”

I murmured, overcome with deep, heartfelt emotion.

No more dragging my half-dead carcass into dungeons on less than three hours of sleep. No more dealing with those insufferable bastards hitting on me every five minutes. No more starving because there isn't time to eat what I crave, and no more suffering through exhaustion because there isn't a spare second to rest. That hellish reality is gone forever!

And that was just the beginning. A few paces away lay a cold storage cellar packed with provisions. There was a private study lined with all kinds of books for whenever boredom struck, alongside a lounge dedicated purely to entertainment. Better yet, I never had to worry about going broke. The gold I had quietly salted away during my active-duty days amounted to a fortune so massive I couldn't exhaust it in a lifetime.

Of course, I had taken meticulous precautions to ensure no complications would follow. The odds of anyone tracking down my funds and catching me by the tail were practically nonexistent. Laundering it cleanly had cost me nearly half of my accumulated wealth, but even the remaining half was more than enough to last me several lifetimes, so it wasn't worth losing sleep over.

Now this is what I call paradise on earth.

I drifted over to the window. Down below, the midday hustle and bustle of a medieval city stretched out beneath the sun, crowded with people scurrying about their daily chores.

Tsk tsk. Slaving away, are we?

I observed the diligent townsfolk with profound, theatrical sympathy. An indescribable rush of petty superiority washed over me. I imagined this was how it felt to gaze down from a high-rise penthouse overlooking the Han River. Not that I had ever owned one back on Earth, so I wouldn't actually know.

“Hm?”

Just then, a cluster of figures in the corner of the street caught my eye. They wore gear plucked straight out of a medieval fantasy game, their outfits practically screaming, I'm a warrior! I'm an archer! I'm a rogue! I'm a mage! They were the sort known in this world as adventurers.

Takes me back. I had days like that once.

Watching them, a wave of nostalgia washed over me as their figures reminded me of my own past. Whenever a commission came in, we'd assemble a party to scout the outskirts, conquer dungeons shoulder to shoulder, and once thoroughly prepared, we even dared challenge the White Tower. Sure, our lives were on the line every single run, and I had brushed against death more times than I cared to count.

Resting my chin in my hand, I watched the adventurers lingering on the cobblestones and murmured softly to myself, ...I really do miss it. Back then, I didn't have a single care in the world. I just loved adventuring for the pure thrill of it.

Of course, as the years passed, the crushing burden of responsibility grew heavier and heavier until nothing resembling a carefree adventure remained. Even so, reminiscing about the days when I was a rookie relishing the pure spirit of adventure stirred a warm, sentimental ache in my chest.

...Well, reading books all day is bound to get stale eventually. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠play the hidden-badass card—disguise my identity and sneak into a dungeon every once in a wh—

The very next instant.

Smack!

I slapped both palms against my cheeks and screamed at myself internally.

Baek Yu-seong! Are you out of your goddamn mind?! You finally clawed your way to freedom! Are you seriously looking to ruin it all ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠over again?!

I berated myself in an urgent whisper. Get a grip! Remember! Remember the Three Rules for a Happy Life that you laid down the second you broke free!

The Three Rules for a Happy Life. They were the guiding principles I had established upon moving here—the ultimate objectives that would govern the remainder of my days, the glorious full stop at the end of my life's sentence. Lest I ever waver, I had penned them onto a hanging scroll on my very first day and mounted it to the wall. I turned to look at it now.

“Ahhh~ I don't know who wrote this, but it's an absolute masterpiece.”

At least to me, these rules formed an unshakeable personal philosophy that no philosopher alive could ever dismantle. Crossing my arms, I beamed at the scroll with immense pride.

Rule one: Do not work.

Supposedly, there are folks in this world who derive fulfillment from labor, boosting their life satisfaction through the daily grind. Fortunately, I didn't possess such masochistic tastes that took pleasure in being flogged. Obviously. When you're rolling in gold, why on earth would you work? Unless it's a hobby, maybe.

Rule two: Live the rest of my life entirely for myself.

This was equally self-evident. Living on my own terms without harming anyone else. Life is brief and fleeting under the best of circumstances; wouldn't it be an utter waste not to enjoy a life dedicated wholly to oneself? I was thoroughly done with people lecturing me that, as a top-ranking adventurer at the spearhead of the continent, I had to shoulder this duty or bear that responsibility.

Rule three: Absolutely no romance or marriage.

This was the most critical rule of all. While I was currently an inhabitant of this world named Teresia, deep down, I was still a South Korean man named Baek Yu-seong.

Sure, having lived twenty years as Teresia, my memories of that guy named Baek Yu-seong have faded quite a bit...

Even so, the core identity of Baek Yu-seong remained intact, which made the prospect of romantic involvement with either gender deeply off-putting.

No matter how much I got reincarnated into a woman's body, doing that sort of thing with a dude is... just hell no.

For my own sake and out of common decency toward the other person, that line could never be crossed.

On the other hand, dating a girl feels just as wrong. There's social prejudice to worry about... and more importantly, after spending so long in a female body, looking at a pretty girl doesn't do a damn thing for me anymore.

Therefore, romance and marriage were strictly off the table for the foreseeable future. And naturally, I had zero intention of contributing to this world's birth rate.

Rumble.

Speaking of which, I'm starting to get hungry. Time for some grub.

Prompted by the internal dinner bell sounded by my stomach, I ambled over to the cold storage cellar.

“Wait, what? Empty?”

Only barren shelves and empty crates greeted my gaze; every scrap of stockpiled food had vanished. Come to think of it, the last time I had gone grocery shopping was a month ago, on the very day I moved in.

Urrgh...

I groaned as the cold, hard reality sank in. Inside my head, a furious clash erupted between the Too lazy to step outside, I'll just starve for a day! faction and the I have to buy groceries eventually anyway, so why not get it over with? faction.

Gurgle—

My stomach sounded another protest. It dawned on me that I had skimped on dinner yesterday with just a couple of fruits. Faced with this decisive tactical disadvantage, the debate concluded in a dramatic, sweeping victory for the Why not get it over with? faction.

And so, I resolved to embark on my first venture into the outside world in an entire month.

“Hm-hm-hm♪”

With my rare excursion decided, I took a brisk wash, changed into comfortable casual clothes, and stepped in front of the mirror.

Reflected in the glass was a young woman hovering around twenty years of age. Her hair was a remarkably rare, vibrant crimson, and her skin was as smooth and fair as white jade. Her amber eyes, radiant as if holding the sun itself, sparkled with an untainted brilliance, like flawless jewels untouched by the filth of the world. Despite spending the past month living like a degenerate shut-in, that former appearance remained thoroughly intact.

Mm. Good enough.

Gathering my long crimson hair with a simple cord and tying it back, I finished sprucing myself up and stepped out the front door. It was, in every sense of the word, an outing long overdue.

Meanwhile, at that very same hour.

Inside the grand headquarters of the Adventurer Guild in Eden, capital of the Nueria Continent, Guild Master Claude sat at his desk, staring fixedly at a death report.

The document bore the likeness of a woman intimately familiar to him: Teresia. Her disappearance inside a dungeon had stretched past the one-month mark, naturally triggering the administrative shift from missing in action to confirmed deceased.

Suspicious. Highly suspicious.

Claude furrowed his brow, his eyes narrowing in skepticism.

I was too stunned initially to catch it, but looking back now, the whole thing reeks.

Claude recalled the findings compiled in the investigation into Teresia's final movements, turning the details over in his mind.

Leaving her signature primary equipment behind at her residence before heading out to clear that final dungeon. That newly drafted will she drew up just days before her departure, almost as if she foresaw her own demise... Something doesn't add up.

Claude cast a glance at the copy of the will Teresia had left behind. Having already reviewed it, the gist was simple: she explicitly forbade any grand funeral, asking for a quiet farewell, and bequeathed all remaining personal assets and gear back to the Adventurer Guild.

Up to that point, Claude hadn't questioned it. Given the modest and unpretentious personality of the Teresia he knew, it was entirely in character.

And yet.

The timing is simply too immaculate. A brand-new will drafted right before her death. Leaving her beloved primary gear behind in favor of defensive items she rarely ever touched... Isn't her entire trail far too contrived?

The scowl on Claude's face deepened with every passing anomaly.

It's as if she plotted the entire sequence. As if she meticulously engineered every beat. I can't shake the nagging stench of a staged performance.

Then, like a bolt of lightning piercing the gloom, a revelation sparked in Claude's mind.

Thump!

Claude slammed his hand onto the desk and shot up from his chair.

Don't tell me... that brat faked her own death to pull the wool over our eyes?!

Having unwittingly struck upon the truth, memories of his recent encounter with Teresia began flashing through Claude's mind.

“What is it? It's not like you to drop by unannounced.”

It had happened relatively recently, on the day Teresia returned after conquering an uncharted dungeon.

“I would like to resign as an adventurer.”

“And why is that?”

Battered, bruised, and ragged from head to toe, she had dropped an utter bombshell of a retirement request, prompting Claude to press for her reasoning.

To which Teresia had replied:

“Because... I'm exhausted.”

“...”

A flat, unvarnished confession without a shred of pretense.

Hearing those words, Claude understood. He understood all too well what state ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of mind had pushed her to utter such a plea. Having climbed to the upper echelons of the profession himself in his youth, he was intimately familiar with the gruesome reality of the trade.

Exhausted. Of course she is.

Being an adventurer meant gambling your life every waking hour. Venturing into uncharted territory only to perish from unforeseen hazards was routine, as was coming face-to-face with brutal, man-eating beasts until one's spirit broke into pieces. On top of that, Teresia was a young woman of barely twenty. Because she stood at the pinnacle of the guild, she was routinely dispatched to subterranean hellholes far deadlier than anything ordinary adventurers ever witnessed.

It was only natural for her to buckle under such immense strain. Claude understood her exhaustion, and in truth, he sympathized with her completely.

And yet.

“Denied.”

“...”

Claude had cut her request down without a second's hesitation.

Retiring from the adventurer guild required either the explicit approval of the Guild Master or injuries severe enough to permanently cripple the applicant. Furthermore, adventurers were legally bound to participate in expeditions into dungeons and the White Tower at mandatory intervals, meaning one could not simply walk away from their duties without sanction.

Normally, when an adventurer wished to retire, the Guild Master used administrative discretion to ease the transition. But Teresia's situation was fundamentally different from that of any regular ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠adventurer.

“We cannot function without you.”

Ever since taking her first steps as an adventurer five years ago, she had amassed legendary feats faster than anyone in history. Five years later, she held the highest honor in the hierarchy: the rank of Platinum Adventurer.

A Platinum Adventurer represented the absolute apex of the craft, a stratum currently occupied by only eight individuals across the entire continent, including Teresia. The problem was that, without exception, every single one of those other seven possessed a thoroughly warped, unhinged personality.

Teresia, on the other hand, was the lone exception among the Platinum ranks who possessed an upright moral compass, basic manners, and common sense. A Platinum Adventurer who would actually heed orders and deploy whenever the guild called upon her was no longer merely useful—she was indispensable.

In fact, any dungeon entrusted to her had never suffered a single failure, and casualty rates dropped drastically under her command. Her presence alone exerted a massive influence on the morale of the entire guild, to the point where certain adventurers practically worshipped the ground she walked on.

...And a few of those obsessed bastards wouldn't leave her alone because of their twisted infatuations.

For all these reasons, Claude, in his capacity as Guild Master, simply could not let Teresia go.

“...”

As the flashback ended, the pieces of the puzzle clicked cleanly into place. Claude calmly returned to his seat and placed his palm upon the communication crystal sphere resting atop his desk.

“Do you hear me? There is a matter that must be handled immediately.”

Instantly, a voice resonated from the crystal sphere.

“Yes, loud and clear. What are your orders, Guild Master?”

Confirming that the communication line through the crystal ball was clear, Claude delivered his directive in a steady voice.

“As of today, revoke the death confirmation for former Platinum Adventurer Teresia and reclassify her as missing in action. Furthermore, distribute wanted posters bearing her likeness to every single adventurer guild branch across the continent. Make haste.”

“...Pardon? Understood, sir.”

The transmission cut off.

“Oh no you don't, Teresia.”

Leaning back against the headrest of his chair, Claude gazed up at the ceiling.

“You don't get to retire yet. You're going to work until you hit mandatory retirement age... Isn't that right?”

Conjuring the image of Teresia in his mind, he muttered with a cold, knowing smirk.