I May Look Like This, But I'm a Saintess (1)
Just as I suspected, nothing has changed. There was no way a bit of sleep would ease the muscle pain. Yeah, of course not.
"Ugh?"
Like a toddler who had just learned to walk, I hurried my trembling legs and barely managed to climb down from the bed. Curious about how I looked, I stood in front of the mirror. The girl reflected there stared back at me with a completely dazed expression, her sharp, intelligent eyes from yesterday now utterly dulled in just a single day.
"...I look like I've pulled several all-nighters."
The way I could barely keep my eyes open was painful to see. The dark circles settled gently beneath them were as deep as those of academy students who had holed up in the lab for days, tearing their hair out.
――My lovely face is completely ruined.
I wonder if everyone is doing alright...
When I resigned my professorship to head to the Demon King Castle, the memory of that student who had clung to me in tears, crying 'Professor! At least until I finish my thesis!!' suddenly resurfaced. I bit my lip hard.
――Still, he was talented. He probably found his own path.
Right now I'm busy trying to secure my own survival, so please understand. Hehe.
Yes. There were far too many things I needed to do. Training to handle divine power more skillfully. Building a body that could dodge most attacks so I wouldn't have to waste divine power. In this pathetic physical state, collapsing after taking down just a few monsters was practically written in stone.
I had gained divine power and could now speak with the gods. But what was deepening wasn't my faith. I kept sighing at the daunting reality that I even had to train my body, yet it didn't make me feel any better.
They say if you're standing you want to sit, and if you're sitting you want to lie down. I shuffled back to the bed like a zombie, somewhere between crawling and walking, in front of the mirror.
If I was going to lie down anyway, I might as well do it all at once. I flopped forward as if diving into water. My unnecessarily large breasts were crushed flat, and an intense pain wrapped around my body like I'd been kicked in the balls.
"Kyaaa?!"
Just when would I get used to this body? It was a rather hoarse scream for such a beautiful voice, but who cared? The saintess's room was near a large chapel and the nuns' quarters, but there was no need to worry about the other nuns who were still asleep hearing me. From the murmuring voices already drifting in from outside, it was clear I was the only one still lounging peacefully in bed.
――I shouldn't have clung to pointless pride. I should have just prayed for the muscle pain to go away. What exactly does 'favored human' even mean? Does she only answer if I specifically ask for something?
If you favor me that much, why don't you come see me yourself?
...Did you call for me?
Whoa!? You startled me...
They say speak of the devil and he shall appear. Looks like the goddess shows up like a ghost the moment you badmouth her.
Did you miss me that much?
...Since you're here, just heal me already.
Ah——. I should go eavesdrop on the morning prayers.
The Earth Mother, who had just spouted that strange nonsense about eavesdropping on prayers offered to her, refused to answer no matter how many times I called afterward.
She's so self-willed as always... A goddess who only favors in words needs to experience some loneliness before she comes to her senses...
——What did you say?
She was listening?
"You're probably busy with morning duties. Was there really a need to listen to my words?"
Listening to the young children's prayers during morning service is quite healing. But I couldn't hear the prayer of the person I favor most, so I came to check if you were badmouthing me.
"If you were that worried, shouldn't you have helped me first?"
That would break the balance.
"Hah."
I don't know. I'll leave the bad saintess who doesn't even pray alone and go see the other pretty girls.
Yes, yes. Do as you please, you stingy Earth Mother. Miserly goddess.
While I was timidly hurling curses at the Earth Mother who had suddenly vanished again, the noisy sound of children moving about reached me from afar. A pang of conscience made me abruptly lift my bowed head.
"The saintess is leaving today... What if she still hasn't woken up? They say the heroes target sleeping saintesses like that!"
"T-target?"
"Yeah! They say they'll eat her!"
"Hiiik!? How starved would they have to be...? Th-the saintess will be in so much pain. What do we do?"
"Can't she just recover with prayer?"
No. That's not how it works——.
"C-can it do that too?"
"She's a saintess, different from us. They say she can even bring dead people back to life."
"Gasp."
What on earth are they talking about?
Their opinion of the hero was the absolute worst, while my abilities were ridiculously exaggerated. Whatever the previous saintesses had been like or how the previous heroes had lived had nothing to do with us.
――At least that guy would never do something like that. Nope. No way. After spending decades together in the solo squad, there's no chance he'd target me.
Looks like I'll be the safest saintess in history.
I'd gained another thing to teach those little nuns who remembered the hero as a cannibal whenever the chance arose, but I was genuinely curious how long their innocence would last. It was fascinating how one child who had picked up knowledge from who-knows-where and another with properly nun-like clean knowledge were going around together. Was this the yin-yang harmony the hero always talked about?
"Ah! My legs hurt! Why is it so far!"
"B-baby! What if you make noise! You'll wake the saintess!"
"We're here to wake her anyway, so it's fine...!"
"Ah, r-right? Ah! That's right. T-today's dinner looked really delicious."
Still, a young body really is better than an old one.
Even though the voices came from quite a distance, they sounded as loud as if the speakers were right beside me. I let out a small chuckle.
Should I pretend to be asleep?
"It must be because today is the day the saintess leaves for her ascetic journey. The head nun was worried too."
"It's fine. ...She's the saintess, after all."
"Right?"
The conversation wasn't much different from the way dwarf Selba and elf Elian bickered with each other. How could children who had lived only a few years sound so similar to beings who had lived for hundreds?
Yikes. I'd better lie down quickly.
I was somewhat curious about how those adorable little ones planned to wake me. Even as the sound that could have been either knocking or attempting to break down the door reached me, I lay still with my eyes slightly open.
When I roughly lay down, it felt like a draft was slipping between my legs, so I wiggled and pressed my thighs together. With a creak, the door swung wide open and tiny footsteps pattered inside.
"Saintess!"
"Y-you have to be quiet in the chapel!"
"Then how are we supposed to wake her!"
"Ah... R-right."
I nearly burst out laughing at the innocent little nuns' conversation but desperately bit my lower lip to hold it in.
What exactly are these cute little things trying to do?
"Hmm. Now I understand..."
The unexpectedly solemn voice made me swallow nervously.
"...The saintess is a sleepyhead."
"Huh?"
"She still hasn't woken up. The other nuns were always busy scolding us for being noisy."
"...They only scolded you, not the rest of us."
"What?!"
Oh dear. My ears. Is this child the next Pope? What a powerful voice.
"Later the saintess might scold us for being noisy... How about waking her with whispers?"
"Wouldn't tickling be better than that?"
Huh?
"I-is that okay?"
"Normally, tickling is the fastest way to wake someone up. And when else would we get to touch the saintess?"
...What?
Startled by the rather threatening words coming from a little nun—words that sounded like they belonged to old men—I was about to open my eyes when—
"Ahaha!? Kyaha!? Ahiiik!?!? Stop, I'm awake! Stop!! Ahaha!"
My nerves, already sharpened by muscle pain, made an enormous fuss from just a few wiggles of the children's fingers over my clothes.
"Wow... It really works. She woke up right away."
"See? I was right."
"Ahaha!? I said stop!? Kyaha! Stop!!!"
I have no idea how they're raising children in this chapel. They're raising demons——!!
Pushing the children away wouldn't have been difficult. However, my body that had been tense and rolling around all yesterday gave me a strange intuition that I might hurt them. So I ended up helplessly toyed with by the two little ones gently tickling my sides.
"Ailin... Stop now... The saintess will get angry."
"Wow... The worst... The saintess is getting angry..."
This kid?
"A-are you okay?"
——You did it too, you brat.
I should have just stayed awake. Pretending to sleep was a mistake. Curiosity really is the most terrifying enemy. Even after being done in like that, I got done in again.
"Ugh. I almost died..."
"D-die?"
"Yeah... People can die from tickling too."
It was a bit exaggerated, but I wasn't exactly lying. Tickling was a form of torture, and there were cases where people went mad and died from it. So it wasn't entirely wrong.
With this, I'm not that different from the Earth Mother——.
The little one who had been staring at me as I kept my mouth shut in bitter silence stealthily climbed onto the bed. I couldn't exactly get angry at a child for climbing onto the bed. As I wondered what she would do next, the little nun who knelt beside me radiated a more noble aura than I, who had somehow become a saintess.
Maybe because her hands were so small. Instead of clasping them, her left hand wrapped around her right like she was cradling it. With her tiny hands gathered in front of her chest, the child murmured so faintly that I wondered if her previous loud outbursts had been deliberate.
"Mother. Please don't let the saintess die."
...Hmm. That's a bit expensive.
What's expensive...? Are you taking a child's words literally?
Of course. I treat everyone equally.
You said you favored me——.
So it was all lies after all.
That... Are you jealous? Oh my!!
"Never mind."
What, what?! Are you finally recognizing my love? Oh dear!
All that fuss——.
I don't know.
"Ugh... It doesn't seem to work. ...The head nun's body was sparkling. Is my prayer still too small for the goddess to hear?"
No. It reached properly. ——The problem was directing it at the miserly goddess.
"How about speaking loudly like you usually do?"
"...If I do that even when praying, the head nun scolds me."
She's still a child after all.
Right? I think she's cute every time I see her.
"The Pope does that, doesn't he?"
That's true. That loud fellow—I figured the Earth Mother had no choice but to accept him because he was so noisy. It didn't seem strange at all.
"That must be because he's the Pope."
"Ah, I did that too..."
Perhaps wanting to join the cute children's conversation, I absentmindedly spoke up. The little ones' heads whipped around.
"...But I shouldn't do that."
Under their silent pressure of whether that was acceptable, I shuddered in fear that they would honestly report to the head nun, 'The saintess did it!' I hurriedly made excuses. In the end, doing something similar to what the Earth Mother would do was quite heartbreaking.
I'm in no position to criticize anyone....