I Can't Acknowledge a Goddess Like This (1)
I should hurry and lend my strength to His Holiness the Pope.
'Judging by mental fortitude alone, this side seems more like the monster…'
The abbess, who until just moments ago had been in a state where even a lifetime of rest couldn't guarantee normal activity, rose to her feet while brushing herself off. She had just demonstrated firsthand how astonishingly fast recovery could be through divine power.
What was even more remarkable was her insane mentality. Despite having gone through a situation that would have been perfectly understandable to panic over, she simply dusted herself off as if nothing had happened and declared she was heading back into battle.
It wasn't just a few minor scratches, either. She had experienced the rather shocking ordeal of bones breaking and piercing through flesh, yet here she was, determined to help the others fighting against the demons.
No matter how many times she was knocked down, she always rose to protect those weaker than herself.
'This… this is what a priest should be.'
I didn't delude myself into thinking everyone would be as noble as the person standing before me. Having seen enough of the world, I knew there were all kinds of people. Still, I could regain my faith in humanity once more.
I had been the one who became a saintess simply because the goddess had chosen me, dreaming excitedly about what kind of journey lay ahead. The abbess had reached this position through her own convictions. And then there was me, who had instantly subdued the demon that had rendered both the abbess and her fellow sisters combat ineffective, completely annihilating it in one blow.
The difference in power was clear. But that was only possible because I communed with the goddess and had experience facing that creature before.
The abbess, burning with a sense of duty to save everyone, might actually be more suited to saving the world than I was.
'…I need to work harder too.'
"Then I should also…"
"No!"
The abbess gently pushed away the hand I had offered to support her, not enough to cause offense, and smiled as if to say she was fine.
"Please take care of the children, Saintess. It's difficult to fight properly when there are children around."
"Then it would be better if I went instead…"
Through this battle, I had realized something. I was stronger than I had anticipated. Rather than looking after the children, it might be better for me to handle the demons so the others could move more freely.
The abbess looked at me calmly, then flashed a bright smile at my hesitation and asked in a rather playful tone.
"Don't you trust me?"
"It's not that, but…"
'If she comes at me like that, how am I supposed to argue back—'
"Hey, you can't fight worth a damn. How about saying that once?"
⟨ Goddess's Suggestion ⟩
This goddess must have gone crazy again… Did she really need to torment someone so full of motivation to feel satisfied? How on earth did something like this end up being called a goddess?
"If you harbor irreverent thoughts, I can see them all."
'As if that could be true.'
I can't even control my own thoughts now— And it's not entirely wrong, either.
"The children will be too busy hiding in fear if they see me. It would be better if I assisted His Holiness the Pope."
'Certainly. That much can't be denied.'
"Then please be careful… I'll take care of the children and follow after you."
"Hehe. It'll be over before then. I'll head out first! Please take care."
With renewed determination, the abbess ran toward the place where a massive pillar of light was descending from the sky.
'Seeing her like that, the kids will definitely be scared.'
Her pure white nun's habit fluttered like a butterfly at first glance, but with the killing intent radiating from her, she looked less like a butterfly and more like a blade slicing through the air.
Weren't there always those people during school days—the ones kids called "old witch" in their innocent hearts, who seemed to scold only them every time? To the little novice nuns, the abbess might feel more threatening than the demons they were seeing for the first time.
Although she had been one-sidedly defeated, during her battle with the demon, the ferocious aura she had unleashed to protect this place still lingered, sharp enough to cut.
I finally understood why the young nuns, who instinctively sensed such atmospheres better, would find her even more frightening than me. She hadn't exactly felt soft before, but with the demonic energy surrounding the cathedral, her expression had truly become more terrifying than a devil's.
'I need to gather the children in a safe place quickly and take care of the small fry.'
It would be much easier to move if those guys were here. Their absence feels especially noticeable right now—
'…Is there really no way?'
"⋯."
'O merciful goddess… who listens well to her believers' words…'
My stomach churned as if I'd eaten spoiled food.
"Oh my! Is that what you were thinking? Haha. You've finally come to recognize me!"
She only answers promptly at times like this—
'You've been listening the whole time, so why pretend you didn't hear?'
"⋯I was checking the locations of the others!"
'Then will you help me?'
"It might take a while…"
If she would just help, time wouldn't be an issue.
'I'll leave it to you, then.'
I didn't even respond to the Earth Mother Goddess who had so readily agreed to help. If I showed too much gratitude, there was no telling what whims she might indulge in or what demands she would make next.
——This is truly frustrating. Where should I even start?
Looking around, many buildings still stood firm in their places, but quite a few had been completely destroyed beyond recognition.
'How long will it take to search all of this…?'
Clearing away completely collapsed structures wasn't difficult. But if someone was trapped inside a collapsed building, it was hard to calculate what accidents might occur while removing the debris. It would clearly take a long time, too.
'If only I could use clairvoyance magic at a time like this—'
I hadn't realized it when I could use magic freely, but now that I couldn't, the absence felt especially vast. I had gained divine power that was practically a disaster to demons, and I could instantly heal injuries that would have required weeks of recuperation. Yet even the things I used to do with a mere flick of my finger, or the instinctive knowledge of how to do them—I couldn't do any of it.
The feeling of being unable to do anything was as stifling as if my arms and legs had been paralyzed.
"If you pray desperately, I could help with something like clairvoyance…"
'Huh?'
"You want to look inside the buildings, right?"
That's right.
"Yes."
"I would never do it for male believers, but for a saintess, I can do as much as you want. Now, bark desperately… ahem! Pray to me!"
——Didn't she just try to say "bark"?
This Earth Mother Goddess. She's really going all out now.
"Mother, grant me eyes that can see through all things."
With every syllable I uttered, the goddess's words of "bark" echoed in my head, but what choice did I have? Having no power was a sin. If I had known this would happen, I never would have said I didn't want to use divine power.
"Yap! ⋯All done. Blink a few times and you should be able to see."
At the goddess's words, I blinked several times, and even the interior of the pillars supporting the buildings and the gaps in the collapsed debris became vividly visible.
'It's clearer than magic.'
Unlike magic, which only showed what was within my field of vision, this let me zoom in as much as I wanted and see every corner of the buildings. It was quite convenient.
"Of course. This is my power, you know? Got it?"
'Well… let's just say that's true.'
Divine power received through prayer moves according to my will. Therefore, after receiving divine power from the goddess, there was no reason for me to grovel before her.
"No! After showing you an ability like this, shouldn't you be jumping up and down in surprise and praising me!?"
——No. Since I was afraid of what trouble she might cause next time, it was better to soothe her a little.
'Wow… That's amazing. I almost fell over in shock, you know?'
"Hehe. As expected, it's me!"
Tsk. How pitiful…
There are sometimes people like that, aren't there? They've lived so long that they eventually develop dementia and regress mentally to a child's level—
'Living for eternity isn't such a good thing after all.'
"What are you saying?"
'It's just muttering to myself, so you can ignore it.'
Good grief. I'm not a saintess, I'm a nanny.
* * *
Whether it was fortunate or not, there were no children or nuns who hadn't evacuated near the collapsed buildings. I searched the structures thoroughly for quite a while but found no one, which only made me more anxious.
Instead of the little novice nuns who should have been running around and getting scolded by the other sisters, all I could see were the demons filling the cathedral.
"Phew. Has everything around here been taken care of?"
At first, when I encountered the demons, I had charged in recklessly, swinging fists wrapped in divine power. But it didn't take long for me to realize how incredibly inefficient and uncharacteristic this style of combat was.
A person who had been a mage, now trying to fight with their body just because they had obtained a form that could recover from injuries—
I could wield divine power now, but that didn't mean I had changed. No, my appearance had changed—
——Tsk. No matter what my appearance was, I could just continue living as 'me,' like I always had.
Once I made up my mind, dealing with the demons became instantaneous. Most things I could do with magic could be resolved with divine power. The only difference was that instead of incantations, I realized my thoughts through prayer.
'No, that's not all… I also have to listen to the goddess's nonsense now…'
"What did you say!?"
'I mean, it's a joy to do so.'
"Aha! Sigh… Don't fall for me too hard, okay?"
And I was also getting better at lightly brushing off the goddess's outbursts.
"It seems I'm getting a bit more used to using divine power now. As expected, my learning speed is quite fast."
When the magic that struck monsters with thunder and lightning came to mind, I dropped a pillar of light made of divine power. Instead of hurling fireballs, I launched clumps of divine power like the ones the Pope had shown me, like cannonballs.
The more familiar I became, the more convenient the divine power felt, following my thoughts obediently like a well-trained dog.
It was more convenient than magic, which could only be manifested according to fixed formulas and calculations. The way divine power changed according to my thoughts reawakened something I had forgotten.
The process and means had changed slightly, that was all. Wasn't I the same person who had been so delighted when first learning magic, moving the mana that wandered around me at will and changing its shape?
Feeling that same excitement I had when first learning magic once again, I realized how much joy I had lost as I grew older. From some point I couldn't even remember, I had begun to enjoy this moment that I might never feel again.