Worth Saving the Trash?
37th failure.
I'm starting to get tired.
Trash. Fucking bastards.
I told them to run, so why didn't they listen?
Why the hell are you taking pictures? Is that more important than your life right now?
Why are you shoving that kid while running? You think that'll lower your chances of dying?
Why do you do this?
Just stay still. Help me out a little.
You're trying to save them.
...Huh? You want me to hurry up and deal with it?
I'm not a hero. I'm still just a student.
Ah, right—I'm in plain clothes now.
Even if I'd been in uniform, their attitude wouldn't have changed.
My head throbs.
Is it worth it? When no one will even know about my sacrifice.
Ha. I let out a sigh.
Well, whatever. I still have to do it.
You wanted to stand by their side, right? I decided that.
You wanted to be a hero, right? I decided that. Whether they're worth saving doesn't matter much. I save them because I can. That's what makes someone a hero.
"...Being a hero is pretty amazing, huh."
I looked ahead.
I'd pocketed the suicide syringe, but it feels pointless now.
I never got to use it in most deaths, and in the others, I died trying to reach for it.
It's not about speed—it's stamina.
There were just too many.
We could have chosen not to go out to Gangbuk at all. There were even checkpoints where we did that.
The problem is, I didn't want to turn a blind eye.
I wanted to be a hero, and this was the perfect chance to take that first step.
"No."
A voice came again.
"The monster came here because you're here."
...Tch.
"Am I wrong?"
She might be right.
But after rewinding the checkpoint to check, the monster appeared regardless of whether I showed up or not.
Maybe becoming Ivy Lane triggered this event via some butterfly effect.
That's true.
But if I hadn't been here, the damage would have been worse.
That's also true.
So, I had no choice but to show up here.
I didn't want to see a future where Han Ye-seo and Ja-an tried to block all the monsters alone, collapsing in ruins.
So I regressed.
In this short time, I'd died more than ten times the deaths from that whole month.
Squashed flat under a giant palm, pummeled by a freakish thing with fists for arms. I died in almost every way imaginable.
Doesn't matter.
This body's senses are numbing from the drugs.
One advantage of the drugs: dulled sensations.
The initial terror of death has mostly faded.
Death is scary because it's painful.
Now that there's no pain, it's not so frightening.
I regress anyway. I try not to die. But if it's a death situation, I die.
Whatever.
It doesn't even hurt much.
The one thing bothering me... is Ja-an's reactions, changing slightly with each loop.
He's noticing something's off about me.
Too many regressions have some kind of effect.
I don't know what or how, but it's clear there's an influence.
And...
It's a little hard.
The repeated deaths and pain are familiar now. Numbed, so I barely feel it. As I said earlier.
But there's always someone witnessing my death.
Once it was Han Ye-seo, once Ja-an, once some nameless citizen, once in front of Ham Deok-gyu.
Han Ye-seo screamed and rushed in the moment she saw my lower body crushed by a fist.
Then my vision went dark; I don't know what happened to her after.
Hoo. I took a deep breath.
Ja-an saw a monster's fist pierce my gut.
His sword trembled in his grip, his face on the verge of tears, so I tried to smile and say I was fine.
Well, tried. I couldn't breathe right—only a wheeze came out.
A nameless extra saw my death.
She was a mother with a kid.
The child tripped stupidly on a rock while fleeing the monster, and the mom rushed to protect him.
I blocked in front with my spear.
Both arms snapped, then crunch—my torso pulverized in one go. My last memory lasted maybe one or two seconds.
I'll never forget their tearful stares at my corpse.
Ha...
Strength
D+
Agility
C+
Stamina
E+
Mana
C
Intelligence
A-
Luck
D-
Stupid and reckless. I didn't think the syringe would boost the stats I wanted.
But this is way below my expectations. Maybe I wasted the choice.
After the 4th failure, I returned to the checkpoint and injected the syringe. Used everything available. Had to. Really had to. Their deaths weren't in vain. Yeah. I used them so their deaths wouldn't be wasted. Right. That's what they wanted too.
Aimed for Agility, but luck wasn't on my side. Shouldn't have burned through the choices like that.
Stamina and Strength rose from F to normal range.
Can't erase the frail feeling entirely, though.
Still puke blood if I push too hard.
Just improved the body's limits, endurance, output. The inherent fragility remains.
One weird thing, too.
I thought the drugs harming my mind affected memory.
In other words, the crimson syringes made from other ability users' corpses that boost stats should reset on regression.
Since they act on the body.
But no.
Even after injecting and regressing to before, my stats stayed boosted.
Pushed aside the guilt thinking maybe stats copy over, injected again.
But already-boosted stats didn't rise again.
My regression doesn't send my mind back—nor memories that way.
It restores/regenerates the current body and sends it to the past.
All 8 syringes became unusable here, so I discarded them.
To avoid suspicion.
This was right.
Those in the crimson syringes were already dead long ago in the distant past—people I couldn't save. Use what you can, discard when needed.
Wise choice.
...I know it's self-justification.
But there was no other way. Really.
With the syringes used, no reason to regress further back.
I reset the checkpoint right to meeting Han Ye-seo and Ja-an.
Regressed over 30 times like that.
This is the 38th.
With these hopeless stats and one spear, help as many civilians evacuate as possible, hold off monsters until Hero Ham Deok-gyu arrives.
Told Ja-an and Han Ye-seo I could handle one direction alone, but honestly... it's impossible.
"Still... have to."
They said muttering to myself makes me look like a total loner, so I hold back, but I wanted to voice this resolve.
Gripped the spear.
Stepped forward boldly.
Intelligence A-.
Intelligence and wisdom are different; Intelligence mainly boosts rote memory.
Luckily, that's exactly what I desperately needed now.
3 seconds later, right alley, Type 3, dog form.
I thrust the spear right.
Kyaaang! With a burst, the wild dog lunging from the alley got impaled and tumbled across the ground.
Right above, the sign.
No time to retrieve the spear.
Grabbed the shaft and rolled on the ground.
Bang—! The rusty neon sign crashed where I'd stood moments ago.
Glass shards grazed my cheek, but no pain.
Senses dulled. Thanks to the drugs.
Is that a good thing?
"Ha..."
Still civilians who haven't evacuated.
Need to buy them time to run.
Thud. Vibration from the ground.
Type 2, hypertrophied muscles, gorilla-like form.
Died to that thing about 12 times in previous loops.
It appeared far off, yanked a utility pole, hurled it at me.
I leaped sideways immediately.
Before the pole hit ground again, it reached the landing spot first.
Catching the flying pole midair, it swung.
I twisted my body using the spear as leverage.
Hair grazed by the swing.
Now.
Armpit and torso exposed.
No matter how fast or strong, after one attack, there's a gap before the next.
Shortened my grip, dove into its guard.
Stab. Into the relatively weak hide between armpit and torso.
Not enough, huh...
Its elbow smashed my back.
"Kehuk..."
Heard my spine crunch.
Gush. Blood clots spewed from my mouth.
Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt.
The spear?
Dropped it.
It raised a foot to stomp me dead.
Left first. Then right.
As it slammed down, I threw myself at its ankle.
Hugged it, bit down hard.
It panicked, canceled the motion. Shaking its foot to dislodge me.
Obviously, my Strength couldn't hold.
Flung like trash, I rolled across the asphalt.
Feels like a rag.
Clothes shredded, skin scraped off, bloodied.
Have to stand. What choice?
Staggered up.
Vision red.
Blood in my eyes? Or from them.
"Haa... haa..."
Breath to my throat. Lungs tearing.
Just 3 minutes. Yeah, just 3. E+ Stamina can't hack it...
It raised a fist again.
Ditched the pole, I guess.
Wonder if I can dodge.
This far again?
How'd I win before? I remember, but body won't move.
Prep for next loop.
Closed my eyes.
Flash. Light sliced its forearm in half.
"Kiyaaak—!"
Gorilla-looking thing, but its scream was girly as hell.
...Who?
No one due.
Never happened in dozens of loops.
A familiar figure appeared.
"Ja-an?"
Why? ...No way.
The subtly changing actions with each regression. The deja vu he felt in the alley after Han Ye-seo died.
You're special, huh.
He stood blocking me, breathing ragged.
He was there.
"Sorry I'm late. Had a bad feeling, so I hurried as fast as..."
"No, perfect timing."
"You okay?"
"Not okay."
"...Leave it to me."
Hoo... feel a bit guilty. But let's rely on him.
He's the protagonist. Save me.