Chapter 30
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: Bolting Upright
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After climbing onto the bed, Han Ye-seo and I lay there like wooden statues, staring at the ceiling for a long while.
The excruciatingly awkward atmosphere lingered until Ja-an finally fell asleep.
Once Ja-an closed his eyes and drifted off, Han Ye-seo's heavy lips finally parted.
"...So, why'd you refuse?"
"Refuse what?"
"I went all out preparing dinner so you could sleep next to Ja-an. Why didn't you eat?"
Back in that alley, in my stupidity, I'd overplayed my hand to pique Han Ye-seo's interest.
She still mistakenly believed I was into Ja-an.
"...I don't like him anymore."
"That's nonsense. How does someone's feelings just fade in a month?"
"It's true."
"Liar."
It looked like the misunderstanding wouldn't clear up anytime soon.
A single moment's blunder had led to this mess.
I'd have to choose my words more carefully next time.
Han Ye-seo scooted a little closer to me.
An oppressively intimate distance.
Our breaths mingled.
It didn't faze me at all.
That made it even more awkward.
It had only been a month since I'd become a woman, and I'd already changed this much.
She opened her mouth.
"Do you still hate it? Associating with people."
"Nah? I'm friends with you guys. I actually like making friends."
"Friends besides us? None, right?"
"...Ugh."
It was true.
I'd tried building rapport with the other main characters, but there'd been no real progress.
A whole month, and I'd gained almost nothing.
...I've gained a daily routine. But is it okay to enjoy this?
Yeah. I was settling into this peaceful everyday life right now.
I was genuinely hoping I could just stay in this world, live quietly, grow old, and die without escaping.
That's why I'd stopped.
I'd lived a life without parents or many friends.
Even if I returned to reality, nothing awaited me there.
I'd come to prefer Ivy Lane's life in the game over my own reality.
Stealing someone else's life, skin, and name. Pretending to be them and living on.
It was pathetic.
"There you go with those eyes again."
A voice came from beside me.
I turned my head.
"...Why?"
"You're making that weird look. The one I saw a lot on the front lines."
"Ja-an said the same thing. I have no idea what kind of eyes they are."
"The eyes of someone teetering on the edge of death."
"...Lately, I thought I was smiling more."
Han Ye-seo puffed out her cheeks.
"Smile naturally!"
"Keep it down. There's a sleeping person here."
"Let's grab some late-night snacks if he wakes up at dawn!"
"I'll gain weight."
"Hmph... So you're the type who watches her weight? Didn't expect that."
Didn't expect it?
Health was my top priority.
"So, what's the real point?"
"Huh?"
"You always do this. Crank up the energy when you have something serious to say."
She flashed a faint smile.
"Busted."
"......"
"Just one thing I want to say. Don't worry so much about the future!"
The future.
No one worries because they want to.
I couldn't see my own future—only Ivy Lane's.
"Thanks."
Han Ye-seo scrutinized my smile closely.
For a split second, her expression stiffened.
She'd seen through the forced smile.
She replied with an awkward smile of her own.
"Yeah."
And with that, the conversation ended.
Time to close my eyes and sleep.
Lately, I've been having nightmares every time I sleep.
They weren't particularly scary after I got decent at fighting in Ivy Lane's body.
Just beat 'em down.
No matter how low my strength and stamina were, the majesty of Agility C+ was impressive.
They said A-rank let you dodge bullets with your eyes. Purely in terms of speed, I was superhuman territory.
A spear agility build... Never thought I'd end up with this trash setup.
I wanna use a gun.
They're convenient.
They didn't work on top-tier experts, but anything below that got shredded in seconds.
I couldn't beat top-tiers anyway, so guns were a solid pick.
I could just die and regress until I landed my shots.
In the dim room, I waited for my father—or mother—to appear.
It was dreadfully boring.
Even nightmares needed time to build up.
"You can never be a hero."
"Son, Mommy's sorry..."
The voices came.
Black shadows clumped together. Damp and musty like mold, utterly revolting.
After a month of this routine, I'd gotten the hang of it.
I had the nightmare.
One of my parents appeared in a grotesque, soulslike boss form.
I unleashed one-sided violence with my superior agility stats.
Released some stress.
Yeah.
I did this every day.
Ever since coming to this world, I'd dreamed this nightmare nightly—except when with Ja-an.
...Aren't we sharing a room right now? Why no show?
A slight mystery.
Random chance, maybe.
My mental state was fine.
Aside from the occasional eyes appearing on doors or walls, or my parents whispering from behind me.
I could still endure it.
No way to get more of the drug anyway.
I hadn't wasted the month.
I'd scoped Dana's academy schedule, snuck to back alleys to inquire about the drug, tried every method.
And failed.
This mystery potion, never seen in the game, targeted regressors or precogs with specific abilities.
Otherwise, why make a memory-altering drug? Just hit the mind or body directly.
Anyway, that was all I'd pieced together.
The masked man and Dana belonged to some organization, and they knew about my regressions.
I could easily infer that much by connecting the dots.
Not the only possibility, but the most likely given the situation.
...It's about time, though.
I was in the nightmare now.
I'd just zoned out a bit; Mom or Dad should appear any second.
Wonder which one today.
A little exciting.
"What the?"
Problem.
I waited ages, but the black mold didn't coalesce into human form.
The landscape mimicking my childhood home was fading.
Never happened before.
Rumble...
A vibration echoed.
I looked up at the ceiling.
Something massive was crushing the space itself.
The ceiling began sinking downward bit by bit.
...Collapsing?
Honestly, I was a bit flustered.
This space was built from my dreams and traumas, warped grotesquely by the drug.
Dreams that barely came when I was a man now hit nightly post-drug. The cause was obvious.
I'd expected changes as the drug wrecked my mental health... but not this abruptly.
And then, the ceiling crashed down.
Thud.
I squeezed my eyes shut at the sound, but nothing happened even after ages.
I slowly opened them.
Something stood before me.
I couldn't describe its shape.
The harder I tried to focus, the blurrier it got, distance growing.
Couldn't approach for the same reason.
Drug side effect? Nightmare evolving into something nastier?
Sinister thoughts first.
[ ? / 400 ]
The status window popped up abruptly.
A question mark where two names should be.
The thing before me spoke.
"...Can you hear me?"
The voice was a garbled mechanical screech, like it was distorted.
An oddly familiar tone.
"No need to be so guarded. In a dream, the dreamer is god."
"...What are you?"
It fell silent for a long time.
The vaguely humanoid form, like clumped black smoke, seemed deep in thought.
It felt like our senses were linked somehow.
I could vaguely sense its actions, emotions.
"One rule: I can't speak on what you don't know."
"...Aha."
I got the gist.
Guess I'd been coasting without thinking much.
"The status window shows my info, right?"
"Correct."
Status Window.
[ ? / 400 ]
Got it.
I understood.
That's me.
Most likely? Me from a previous loop? Memory wiped for some reason? To erase the drug?
The status window shows my info.
More bluntly: it can only display my information.
Impossible to view others'.
The status window always explained me or things directly tied to me.
Some unexplained bits, but so far, it fit the premise.
Hell, it might not even be a system—could be someone else's ability, herding me a certain way.
Time to think.
Assume that thing is me.
"Subconscious?"
"Yeah."
"Drug side effect?"
"No."
"Then?"
"Can't answer that."
A bit frustrating.
Okay. Straight fastball.
Can't just Q&A forever.
"Are you Ivy Lane?"
"Depends on perspective. You vaguely realized it, right? Proof: I can discuss this. I'm you, but subtly different."
Not the original owner, then.
Head throbbed.
It spoke.
No visible mouth, but the sensation of one opening transmitted vaguely.
"First time ends here. See you next."
"Wait...!"
Bolting upright.
Morning.
Birds chirped outside, and Han Ye-seo stared at me with wide, startled eyes.
She asked,
"...Nightmare?"
"No."
I don't know.