Chapter 28
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 28
Chapter Title: Status Window. Can You Give Me the Eggplant Salad Recipe?
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"Come on in!"
Han Ye-seo greeted us with her usual booming voice that rang through the house.
The interior was surprisingly girly—nothing like what I'd expected.
I'd always thought women with high-pitched or loud voices wrecked their homes.
Just like my mom did.
Hmm, comparing Han Ye-seo to my mother? That was a mistake on my part.
Some things you just don't say about people.
Sorry.
I apologized inwardly and quickly stepped inside.
Now the headmaster would be stuck staring blankly in my dorm room for a while, wondering when I'd show up.
Ja-an spoke up.
"This is unexpected."
"Huh...? What do you mean by that?"
"I didn't think you'd live somewhere this decorated."
"Back when I was on the front lines as support, I couldn't bother with that stuff. So I used my spare cash for some interior work."
"Hmm..."
Han Ye-seo turned to Ja-an.
"What's your place like?"
"Just the bare essentials."
"Oh yeah? I'm curious now."
"I'll invite you over next time I have some free time."
"You got food too?"
"Of course."
The conversation flowed naturally into plans for next time.
Honestly, it was hard keeping up with their energy.
Was it because my life had been surrounded by non-humans? Or just my own lack of social skills and charisma?
Whatever the reason, typing had turned me into an introvert with no hope of going back to being an extrovert.
I want to be one of the cool kids too...
Han Ye-seo addressed me.
"What's your room like?"
"My room?"
"Yeah! You've never been to the dorms! It's been a whole month—don't you think it's time to invite me over?"
"Don't leave me out. I'll have you over soon. But don't get disappointed when you see it."
Han Ye-seo tilted her head.
Ja-an gave an awkward smile from the side.
"Ah ha...?"
"The place is a mess."
"Your house got messy?"
"No, it's always been a mess."
She was clearly enjoying steering the conversation in that direction.
Did she really want to pair us up that badly?
I turned to look at Ja-an.
He awkwardly avoided my gaze.
Han Ye-seo reopened the conversation, as if even a moment of silence was unacceptable in her own home.
"So, anything you feel like eating? I can make pretty much anything."
"You're going to cook too? We could just order delivery."
"Delivery fees are insane these days."
"What about all that money from the front lines?"
"Uh..."
Han Ye-seo avoided my eyes.
Did she mean she'd spent all her money on the interior...?
No way.
Nah, probably not.
No one would do that.
Ja-an hurriedly changed the subject.
"Let's just eat something. We can't stand around forever, right?"
"Y-yeah..."
"But making Ye-seo do all the cooking feels bad, so how about we all pitch in?"
"Good idea."
Han Ye-seo stared at us blankly for a moment.
Then she nodded vigorously in agreement.
I ended up cooking on a whim.
Seasoned Eggplant recipe? Pretty please?
[ ]
As expected, no response.
I'd once suspected the Status Window might be a sentient being, but experiments proved otherwise.
I searched for a recipe on my phone.
Back when I lived alone, most meals were delivery food.
When fees got too high, I switched to instant stuff, ending up with chronic indigestion.
One silver lining of becoming Ivy Lane: this body was lighter than a thirty-something guy's, digested better, and let me savor flavors more vividly.
Plus the magical stomach that could handle dessert right after lunch.
At first, desserts grossed me out.
A guy hitting up cafes for parfaits, cakes, and iced coffees after meals? Unreal.
What would my old self say if he saw me now?
Ask if I'd neutered my mental balls too, after the physical ones?
Whatever. Even if it weirded me out, it wasn't as bad as my first period. Maybe he'd cut me some slack.
I knew it was coming, but not like that.
It just gushed out like piss with zero warning. That's why pads exist.
I used to think you could just hold it in.
Lukewarm, sticky blobs? Like raw oysters without shells, if I had to compare.
It pours out in seconds at body temp, so the piss-pants disgust is bonus.
Ugh, stop thinking about it.
Ruins my mood and appetite.
I started cooking based on the phone recipe.
Han Ye-seo spoke up.
"What? One dish each?"
"Yeah."
Ja-an replied.
Han Ye-seo glanced between us, then opened the fridge.
She pulled out three packs of ramen.
"That's... cooking?"
"The best kind. You two just make sides!"
Ja-an peered into the fridge.
"You got eggs and kimchi at least?"
"Uh... maybe?"
"Nope."
"B-but ramen's delicious on its own!"
Ja-an reached into his cloak and pulled out ingredients.
Han Ye-seo stared wide-eyed.
"Cool. Sides are covered then..."
"What is that? An A-rank relic? For real?"
"Kinda? Time stops inside, so no spoilage. Using it as a fridge."
"You're insane! Who uses an A-rank relic as a fridge?!"
"More space than you'd think...?"
Crazy bastard.
I turned back to my cooking.
I scanned Ja-an's ingredients briefly, then grabbed eggplant, green onions, and peppers.
Seasoning next.
"Got a seasoning container?"
"Probably? Bought one two years ago...?"
"What...?"
I asked incredulously.
Han Ye-seo looked away.
Damn.
Didn't she just say she could make pretty much anything?
Her idea of "pretty much anything" wasn't just ramen, was it?
You're officially disqualified as Ja-an's main girl candidate.
Can't have the protagonist living with a woman who can't cook.
Main heroines need life skills! All she's got is power, short height, and flat chest!
Ja-an spoke to me.
"Got seasoning."
"...?"
"Here."
Containers poured out of his cloak.
Gochugaru, plum syrup, sesame oil, sesame seeds, soy sauce, minced garlic... What, opening a market stall?
I shot Ja-an a bewildered look, and he averted his eyes.
Even he was embarrassed about fridge-relic life.
I get it.
As he gathered the containers, Ja-an asked me.
"So, what're you making?"
"Oh, seasoned eggplant."
"What?"
Han Ye-seo dropped something with a clatter.
Plastic, so no breakage. Lucky.
That big a deal?
Even in my instant-food days, seasoned eggplant was always there for me.
In cold noodle broth? Cold soup. Toss with radish? Crunchy bliss. Soy sauce mix? Salty perfection.
What isn't this miracle food?
Pisses me off when people whine about the mushy texture from bad batches.
They just haven't had good stuff!
I glared at Ja-an.
Han Ye-seo watched us amusedly.
Ja-an looked away.
"I mean, tastes differ. Gotta respect that."
"Respect? Does eggplant salad need respect? Is it politically incorrect or something?"
"Honestly, most people hate it. Coming to a friend's house and picking that?"
"You haven't tried a good place! I'll change your mind today...!"
I hunted for a steamer.
After rummaging, conclusion: none.
Can't take this.
I turned to Han Ye-seo.
She was still fumbling with the ramen packs.
"...What do you even have here?"
"Uh... knife?"
"Anything else?"
"Scissors?"
"And?"
"Nothing?"
Ja-an eyed me and jumped in.
"Whatcha looking for?"
"Steamer."
"You're really doing this...?"
"Dead serious."
"Got one."
...What?
Why the hell are cooking tools in an A-rank relic?
Han Ye-seo wore the same shocked face.
I plugged in the steamer he'd pulled out.
Wash eggplant clean, trim ends, quarter lengthwise.
Too thick...?
Halved them again.
Into the steamer, five-minute timer. Check doneness, add a minute up to seven if needed.
Minced green onions and peppers, dumped in all of Ja-an's seasonings.
Mix—done.
Beep—beep—beep—.
Thought it was tinnitus at first, but it was the steamer.
Ugh...
Head throbbed.
Toss into the bowl and mix.
Complete!
Budget-friendly pro-level seasoned eggplant...!
"Try it now."
"Huh? Wait, ramen's ready!"
"I'll go fry some kimchi..."
They both dodged my chopsticks.
So lonely...
.
.
.
A bit later, outside grew dark.
I casually brought it up.
"Hey, mind if I crash here tonight?"