A Child Doesn’t Know a Parent’s Heart
“…So that’s how it happened.”
“Hmm.”
At last, after a full hour of explanations, Journey’s story came to an end.
From the poverty her family had known since she was little to how they had never even gone out to eat like everyone else—though it wasn’t quite that dramatic—her long, roundabout account had finally convinced Aaron.
“So what you’re saying is, you treated her like a little sister?”
“Y-Yes, that’s right! Kanaria was just so cute, and I swear on my life I had absolutely no dirty intentions whatsoever, nor any plans to do anything to her, and if I’m lying then you can take my life right now—”
“...She’d come back to life anyway.”
“Eh.”
At the sudden interruption, Journey’s eyes rolled around in confusion.
W-Well, he wasn’t wrong, but did he really have to point it out…?
“Even if I’d come back to life, my life is still precious.”
For something she’d thought up after desperate mental scrambling, it was a rather pathetic excuse.
“In any case, I understand. Kanaria is a bit oblivious, yes, but if you had meant anything like that, she would’ve noticed. It seems she took a liking to you.”
“H-Haha. Ahh….”
...I don’t think that’s it.
What kind of person tries to assassinate someone they like?
Or was that, what was it called… yandere behavior?
Children’s hearts were truly impossible to understand.
If only I could ask her directly, but Kanaria, who would know the answer, had long since drifted off to dreamland, abandoned by the conversation that was going on without her.
Journey looked at Kanaria, sound asleep with her head against Aaron’s shoulder.
...I’ll let it slide because she’s cute.
She hadn’t even been that angry to begin with, but seeing that angelic sleeping face made the little bit of irritation she’d been holding onto melt away.
She felt as though she finally understood why so many parents, after being tormented by their children all day, found peace of mind the moment they saw those same children asleep.
Unlike when she was awake, seeing that her guard had dropped and she was sleeping so comfortably brought an involuntary smile to Journey’s face.
Of course she’s cute when she’s awake too.
It was just a different sort of charm.
“...Kanaria.”
“...Yes?
Journey, who had been admiring Kanaria’s sleeping face and had momentarily forgotten Aaron was even there, snapped back to attention at his voice.
Perhaps because he was conscious of the girl sleeping against his shoulder, his voice was a little lower than before.
“Has Kanaria been doing well?”
“Well, um….”
Journey hesitated.
If by “doing well” he meant eating properly and living comfortably, then yes, she would answer in the affirmative.
They lived deep in the mountains, but Kanaria’s house had everything it needed.
“She didn’t really seem... happy, though.”
But Journey’s answer was different.
“She looked very lonely.”
Kanaria bristled and pushed away anyone who came near her.
Now that Journey knew a little more about her past, it made perfect sense.
Not only had people tried to steal the keepsake of the father she treasured so dearly, they had even come at her with weapons, claiming they would kill her—how could anyone possibly respond kindly to that?
If the first button was fastened wrong, there was no chance the rest would line up properly.
That must be why players who climbed the mountain where Kanaria lived kept dying, regardless of what they were after.
Though she wasn’t sure whether Silians had been caught up in it too.
And yet Kanaria had accepted Journey, a player like the rest of them.
“Kanaria let me come close to her simply because I could speak Granic.”
Even though back then, Journey’s Granic skill had barely been enough to call it skill at all—she knew only a few words.
“If she had truly hated people, she would’ve ignored me even if I came to see her every day.”
Or she would have butchered her, just like the other players.
The fact that she hadn’t meant that even while she was living in the mountains, hiding from everyone’s gaze, she still must have wanted some kind of connection with people.
Consciously or not.
That was Journey’s guess.
Aaron, who had listened to her in silence, gave a soft hum.
“So that was it.”
The Kanaria he knew was not the sort of child who liked being touched.
If Garid patted her head, she would at least stay still, but she never looked like she enjoyed it.
And yet Kanaria had so readily allowed Journey to touch her.
At first he had wondered whether it was because she was a woman too, but now Aaron thought he understood Kanaria’s feelings.
When Kanaria stirred in her sleep, Aaron adjusted his posture so the girl could lean more comfortably.
“Do you know about Garid?”
“Yes. Kanaria’s father….”
“To be precise, her adoptive father.”
Garid had saved Kanaria, who had lost her family and homeland and was on the verge of death, and taken her in as his adopted daughter.
Parents? They’re dead. Long ago.
Aaron had been there too when Garid asked Kanaria about her parents.
Later, he had learned that her parents were the sort of human garbage who couldn’t even be called parents.
A child who grew up without receiving the love every child should have was only natural to become a little girl who was stiff and reserved in ways far beyond her years.
“It was Garid who filled that missing love.”
Born to parents who were nothing like parents and raised among vagrants, Kanaria must have found being loved an utterly foreign experience.
That was why Garid had become, to her, the most precious existence of all. But Garid, who could never fully recover from the injuries he suffered in war, had eventually left her side.
She had covered the hole he left behind in her heart with the conviction that she would protect his ideals in his place, and with a burning desire for revenge against the Empire. But when the fall of Grasis erased even that, Kanaria disappeared as well.
“What a foolish girl.”
If she had been that lonely, she could have reached out to me too.
Aaron gave a bitter smile.
He had known her since she was little—since long before memory—but it seemed he had still been too lacking to fill the void.
Still….
Now she’s found someone who can fill it.
She didn’t seem fully aware of it yet, but the fact that she had allowed Journey to touch her must have left a strong impression.
Aaron looked at Journey, feeling a sting of regret at not having been able to serve as a proper support, but also relief that the little bird had found a new resting place.
“So he wasn’t her real father….”
Journey murmured softly, newly learning the shape of Kanaria’s past.
Then again, that meant they had been close enough for her to be that affectionate even without being her biological father.
As she mulled over Aaron’s words, Journey suddenly realized the atmosphere had grown far too heavy and quickly changed the subject.
“Oh, right. If nothing else, Kanaria really loves sweets and flowers. Was she always like that?”
“...Sweets, yes, she’s liked those for a long time. But flowers? You mean those common plants you see on the street?”
“...?”
“Yes, those flowers.”
What else would flowers be?
At Journey’s words, Aaron reacted as though he’d never heard anything stranger.
She had asked offhandedly just to steer the conversation elsewhere, but Aaron’s response sounded oddly off, and Journey swallowed nervously in turn.
“I wouldn’t say she dislikes them, but I don’t think she particularly likes them either.”
“Huh? She’s been tending a flower bed in front of the house like it’s precious to her. She’s been so careful with it that if you stepped on a flower, she’d kill yo—”
Journey caught herself before she could mention the gruesome ends of countless players.
“...Anyway, that’s how it was.”
“Could it be….”
Aaron fell silent for a moment.
He narrowed his eyes, as if he were thinking about something, and then finally spoke.
“Do you think Kanaria is feminine?”
“Gah…!”
Was he trying to assassinate her again?
For the second time that day, Journey nearly choked on her breath at an attempted murder.
Sure enough, the moment Aaron finished speaking, her chat window had become hell on earth.
“W-Well, I’m not really sure what you mean by feminine….”
Glancing at the chat and relying on her long-trained skill at dodging conversational pits, Journey tried to evade the question.
Aaron, puzzled by the fierce will to survive in her words, offered an explanation.
“Don’t think too hard about it. I mean things like caring about her appearance, or taking an interest in clothes. Have you ever seen her do that?”
“...Now that you mention it.”
Journey narrowed her eyes, searching through her memory.
...No, not really.
“Maybe it’s because she spent too long in knight life?”
“She was like that even before, but that may have made it worse. That’s not the important part, though. I think I understand what you’re trying to say.”
Aaron’s eyes went distant, as though he were looking toward some far-off place.
“A long time ago, Garid asked me something.”
Aaron, what do girls like?
Is this about Kanaria?
Yeah. I’d like her to laugh and chatter a bit more like other kids her age, but she’s so damn stiff. Like a boy, almost. Any good ideas?
Hmm… how about planting some flowers?
Flowers? Why flowers all of a sudden?
Kids and women like flowers, don’t they? Even if she’s not interested right now, if she sees you planting and caring for them, wouldn’t her curiosity be piqued? Then Kanaria might want to plant flowers too, and the more boyish side you’re worried about would disappear.
That makes sense. All right, I’ll give it a try!
Garid faithfully carried out Aaron’s advice.
Every time Aaron visited his house, the growing number of flowers told him Garid was making an effort for Kanaria’s sake.
It never produced the desired effect, of course, because Kanaria herself showed no interest at all.
“This girl doesn’t actually like flowers. She likes Garid, the one who loved flowers.”
That was why she had bought flowers with her own money and made a flower bed in front of the grave, even though she had no real interest in them.
So that she could see the flowers Garid had liked in life.
“Looking at it that way, it seems my and Garid’s intentions succeeded only halfway.”
If there was one thing that had never changed, from long ago until now, it was that a child never knew a parent’s heart.
That was why people only realized it after they grew up—and then regretted it, wasn’t it?
“Ah….”
Journey’s sigh drifted through the parlor.
* * *
“Mm….”
I must’ve dozed off.
Maybe it was because I’d eaten too many snacks, or because Aaron and Journey’s incomprehensible conversation had sounded like a lullaby.
I’d thought I was just feeling drowsy, but when exactly had I fallen asleep?
I blinked slowly, shaking off the remnants of sleep.
“...?”
Then, all at once, I met Journey’s eyes as she looked at me.
For some reason, her eyes were brimming with moisture, as though they might spill over at any moment.
“...Aaron.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Yeah. ...No.”
“...Which is it, you slept well or you didn’t?”
I answered Aaron lightly when I felt his presence and heard his greeting.
That wasn’t important right now.
“Did you hit her?”
“...What?”
“Journey, did you hit her?”
There didn’t seem to be any visible marks.
But it was the only reason I could think of for her to look so tearful, so I asked Aaron, and he stared down at me as if I were ridiculous.
“Do you think I’m you?”
“...If not, then fine.”
Honestly, if not, he could just say so. What was with “Do you think I’m you?”
At this rate, anyone watching would think I was the kind of person who went around hitting anyone I didn’t like.
Just as I was pouting, something came running straight at me.
“Hwaaah! Kanariaaaa!”
“...?!”
Needless to say, that something was Journey.
She came charging at me with tears and snot streaming down her face, and because it all happened so suddenly, I didn’t even have time to react before I was swallowed up in her arms.
“And I didn’t even know that, and I… ...and then… ...!”
“Ungh….”
I was already hard enough to hear with her hugging me like this, and then her crying mangled every word on top of that. I couldn’t make out a thing she was saying.
When I tried to pry her off by force, Journey only tightened her arms around me.
Even so, there was no way she was stronger than me, so I could have pulled away if I really wanted to….
Sigh.
Instead of tearing her off, I simply let myself go slack and dropped my arms.
She’d probably been put through the wringer by Aaron while I was asleep.
And since some of that was because of me, I supposed I ought to just endure it.
I told you to take it easy.
Through the narrow gap where I could see Aaron, I shot him a look loaded with that meaning.
“...This isn’t because of me.”
Oh, come on.
There are only three people here: Aaron, me, and Journey. So you’re saying I made her cry? Me, the one who was sleeping soundly?
As I gave him a flat, exasperated look at that absurd excuse, Aaron thumped his own chest with a frustrated expression.
“Kaaanaaaa….”
“Yeah.”
Fine, fine.
I let Journey cling to me and swayed this way and that with her movements.
She’d had a hard time, so I’d let it slide this once.
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