Chapter 66: Divine Thief and the Mad Physician (1)
Chapter 66: Divine Thief and the Mad Physician (1)
"Fist Hero, thank you for taking part in the Golden Escort Agency's escort mission. If you ever join us again, I'll be sure to treat you well, so you won't feel shortchanged!"
"I merely did what was only natural for someone who had accepted a commission. I hope you remain safe and well, Escort Chief."
After arriving in Henan, I had carried out the Golden Escort Agency's commission flawlessly. I exchanged pleasantries with the Escort Chief until it was time to part ways, collected my payment, and headed straight for the foot of Mount Song.
There, I found Mu-jeong, whose dantian had been shattered and who still hadn't regained consciousness, along with my women.
"Did you wait long? Come on, let's go up."
"Yeah, yeah. Let's hurry up there and take care of what we came for. The Buddhist energy is terribly uncomfortable."
"Just bear with it a little longer. Don't go doing something that'll make your disciple blush for no reason."
"...Ha! Why don't you say that after hiding those cow's-milk breasts of yours beneath a bandage? That Shaolin monk walking by is getting aroused just looking at your cow's milk."
"He's acting like that because of what you're wearing, you walking pile of obscenity."
"You'll be wearing something just as vulgar later anyway. I'm amazed you can even say that."
"...That was a slip of the tongue."
Their usual light bickering, like a catfight, continued.
But everything they said was true.
Even as people made their way up Mount Song, they blushed when they saw Chi-chi dressed as a bunny girl. The women cursed behind their backs, while the men would stare in a daze, only to get chewed out by their own women—or hurriedly strike an awkward, half-crouched pose before hurrying off somewhere.
Even without Chi-chi in her outlandish outfit, the sight of Seol Yu-ran, whose imposing bust stood out so prominently, could draw the same sort of reaction.
Amid reactions that had become so familiar they might as well have been expected—
"Let's go."
We calmly climbed Mount Song.
Shaolin Temple was a Buddhist temple and martial sect situated atop Shaoshi Peak, the highest point of Mount Song, and it upheld the Buddhist Martial Arts created by Bodhidharma. Perhaps because of that, the higher we climbed, the more uncomfortable Chi-chi, who carried Demonic Qi, seemed to feel; now and then, a somewhat irritated expression slipped across her face.
Still, I firmly believed that the Bunny Heavenly Demon would never kneel before something as trivial as Mount Song's spiritual power.
So I didn't slow my pace.
The path up Mount Song was quite gentle. Gentle enough, in fact, that even common folk who had never learned martial arts could climb it to pay their respects to Buddha. Considering that Mount Hua was so steep and high that one might suspect it was meant only for immortals to idle about on, and that common folk couldn't easily visit it, Mount Song seemed almost like a glimpse of Buddha's mercy.
'And yet, at the very top of this mountain, that bald bastard and his disciple take turns fucking each other in the ass.'
Just imagining those ugly bald monks pressing up against one another's asses made me feel sick.
Doing my best not to show that disgust, I proudly led Mu-jeong to the plaque inscribed with the words "Shaolin Temple." With a resolute determination to offer this guy as a gift and squeeze as many Fortuitous Encounters out of it as I could, I stepped through the mountain gate.
***
After we entered the temple grounds, Chi-chi's expression grew increasingly irritated. The Buddhist energy that filled the temple, worthy of its title of Thousand-Year Shaolin, was diametrically opposed to Chi-chi, and she seemed to be feeling its effects.
There was no need to deliberately make her endure all of this weighty energy, so I let Lightning Qi flow out and swept away the Buddhist energy weighing down the shoulders of everyone in our group.
Once the current had passed through us, not only Chi-chi but Seol Yu-ran, too, looked as if she felt much more at ease.
"Shaolin Temple is surprisingly hard to walk around in."
"The Buddhist energy pervading Shaolin Temple doesn't just stimulate Demonic Qi. It stimulates people's worldly desires and Demonic Obsessions, too. If we were here to cleanse our minds and wanted to endure it, that would be one thing, but there's no need for us to let it wash over us and cleanse away our worldly desires."
"And you simply stripped it away without so much as blinking?"
At Chi-chi's observation, I shrugged.
"If you subdivide the Five Elements of Yin and Yang further, Lightning Qi is one of the kinds of energy with an evil-dispelling nature. To me, with my Thunder God Body through which that evil-dispelling nature flows, it's a familiar yet uncomfortable energy."
Buddhist energy stimulated Demonic Obsession and erased worldly desires.
Leaving Demonic Obsession aside, ordinary people couldn't escape their worldly desires, so Shaolin's gentle Buddha-light weighed heavily upon everyone else.
Besides, the fact that Buddha-light shone meant that the Buddhist energy had been thoroughly cultivated. I didn't know what the original history said, but in this smutty martial arts world, apparently the reason they shaved their heads was to come into contact with even a little more Buddha-light.
"But if it stimulates worldly desires... Setting aside the fact that it stripped away the stimulation from me and the Milk Girl, how is it that you're free of worldly desires, Master? There can't be anyone whose worldly desires are as complicated as yours."
"Chi-chi. What do you mean by that?"
I looked at the two of them as if I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and said,
"I have two wives who'll take care of my worldly desires whenever I want. Why would they build up?"
"Hah!"
"Ah."
Chi-chi and Seol Yu-ran let out sounds of admiration at my answer, then seemed to understand. After all, I released the Lust Demon's main worldly desire—sexual appetite—into them whenever I felt like it. So how could it accumulate? That was more or less the look on their faces.
In reality, with a Heavenly Demon who'd give me a dick sleeve and a mature-woman mentor who'd become a sperm bank for me, was there any man whose worldly desires would build up?
If there was a man whose worldly desires could accumulate despite having devoted wives who would take creampies at any time, then there was something wrong with his sex drive. A man like the Abbot of Shaolin, for instance—a homosexual.
Chi-chi then lifted her rear from where she had been sitting, leaned her upper body forward, and came toward me on all fours.
Since we were in a guest room where visitors were received, there was no need to worry about her knees getting scraped. Though worrying that the knees of a Super Peak master would get scraped just because she was walking on all fours would have been a pointless waste of mental energy anyway.
And so Chi-chi approached like a four-legged beast on guard. Then, when she got close, she smoothly raised her upper body, like an animal showing affection, and gazed up at me with blood-red eyes, acting sweet and gentle.
"Master. Master."
"I'll say this in advance: I'm not having sex here."
"Oh, why not?!"
"This is Shaolin Temple. They call it the place where all learning begins."
You never knew what might happen.
"What if some perverted freak has learned a perverted martial art like Thousand-Mile Listening?"
"But, my master..."
"What?"
Chi-chi glanced over her shoulder at the hand of mine that was busily groping her magnificent backside. I knew what that look meant, but I couldn't pull my hand away.
Perhaps because she liked that I wasn't stopping, Chi-chi smiled bashfully.
"Despite what you say, your hand never stops fondling my bottom."
"...I can't help it. How am I supposed to resist the temptation of the Heavenly Demon, with an ass this damn irresistible?"
Just as my eye contact with Chi-chi was about to grow more intense—
Mmph.
A whole new world unfolded beside me.
It was supremely soft, yet it sent such an explosive rush of ecstasy through my arm that "overwhelming" hardly did it justice.
"Disciple. You aren't going to neglect your master with me right in front of you, are you?"
A delicate hand caressed my chest. She teased my nipple while whispering a sweet voice into my ear—the beguiling allure of a seductress no man could resist.
The two of them were just about to shove my reason into a pit of lust—
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The measured taps at the door pulled the taut thread of my reason tight again. I gave Chi-chi and Seol Yu-ran a look that said now wasn't the time, and gently pushed them away.
Though they seemed disappointed, the two of them stepped back as if they had no choice and stood behind me.
"Please come in."
"Pardon the intrusion."
The door opened, and, unexpectedly, the one who entered wasn't a martial monk but a child monk.
A young monk from whom I couldn't sense even a trace of inner power. He didn't even have a Restraint Seal on his forehead, which told me he hadn't learned martial arts at all.
Ordinarily, when masters like us requested an audience, Shaolin might refuse, but they would still assign a first-generation martial monk to guide us. But I could tell this wasn't an act of disrespect toward us.
'There isn't a single speck of impurity in his eyes. A perfect vessel for the Buddha.'
It felt wrong to put it this way, but this young monk had been born male, with a cock between his legs, and yet he was fated to live the life of a monk who would never use it.
As a human being, I could only feel admiration and awe. But as a man, I couldn't help feeling pity and sympathy for him.
"Honored patrons, the abbot summons you. Please follow me."
"We shall."
We followed the child monk, who was young enough to be mistaken for an attendant.
As we passed, every monk we encountered took one look at Chi-chi's scandalous—no, downright shameless—clothing and hastily turned his head away. They were nothing like the monks outside, who had stared at her, completely enthralled.
If I hadn't known it was all thanks to the Restraint Seals stamped on their foreheads—those suppressants for sexual desire—I might have admired them for their discipline.
Now that Mu-jeong had shown me the truth, however, I couldn't help feeling a little bitter. I had no business saying that, considering I called myself the Lust Demon, but I still thought I'd behaved like a decent human being and kept within certain bounds.
To witness firsthand that Shaolin, a sect that had upheld the ways of the Rivers and Lakes for generations, had become so rotten made all the admiration I'd felt for them as a child vanish in an instant. As a martial artist, I was deeply disillusioned.
At last, guided by the child monk, we arrived at our destination.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Abbot, I have brought the honored patrons."
"Let them enter."
"Yes."
The child monk stepped aside from the door and bowed respectfully.
"Honored patrons, please enter."
"Thank you."
I offered him a brief word of thanks for guiding us, then went inside. There, the abbot greeted us with his palms pressed together.
"Amitabha. I am the humble Abbot of Shaolin, the Dharma Master Buddha's Son. It is a pleasure to meet you, honored patrons."
Looking at the old fellow's muscles bulging even through his robes made me feel sick. If the old bastard in front of me had been a Lust Demon who preyed on women, I'd have killed him on the spot. But since he was a Lust Demon who enjoyed men, I decided to leave him be for now.
Hiding my true feelings, I clasped my hands in greeting and put on a friendly smile.
"I am Geum Tae-yang, master of the One-Person Inheritance Post-Nut Clarity Sect. Behind me are my wives, Chi-chi and Seol Yu-ran. It is an honor for us as well to meet the renowned Buddha's Son."
"I'm Chi-chi."
"I am Seol Yu-ran."
Seol Yu-ran was so courteous that her bearing was positively refined, like that of a noblewoman from a prestigious family.
Chi-chi, on the other hand, folded her arms and greeted him without even bowing her head. Her manner was so aloof that it bordered on arrogance. In the Central Plains, where people paid their respects even to those beneath them, such a greeting would have offended the other party. But Buddha's Son merely smiled warmly, as if he didn't care.
"Ho ho ho. I would like to offer you some tea, honored patrons, but the matter at hand is of the utmost importance to this temple, so I would prefer to proceed directly to the point. Would that be all right?"
"That works better for us, too."
"Then I am glad. Allow me to get straight to the point."
Buddha's Son smiled and spoke to us.
"I hear Mu-jeong told you about Shaolin's secret. I ask that you keep it confidential."
He truly had gotten straight to the point without hesitation.
I had destroyed Mu-jeong's dantian, then taken advantage of his weakened state to place a suggestion on him with the Soul Subjugation Seduction Art: that he should tell Buddha's Son that Mu-jeong himself had killed the Eighteen Arhats and told us about Shaolin Temple's secret.
Of course, even though Mu-jeong was a First-rate martial artist, there was no way he could defeat eighteen Arhat monks who were First-rate martial artists just like him.
But if Buddha's Son really was a man corrupted by his love of men, then before he even considered the possibilities behind this situation, he would try to silence us.
I hadn't expected him to make such a direct demand, though.
"It wouldn't be difficult for us to keep quiet, but it might be a little hard to do so for nothing."
"Haha. Please don't worry. Shaolin is not so petty as to make a request without offering something in return. Of course, I will compensate you. What is it you desire, honored patron? Shall I give you a Great Rebirth Pill?"
With a face as unfailingly gentle as ever, Buddha's Son calmly held out a blank check.