Chapter 56: The Everyday Life That Unfolds When Geum Tae-yang Invades a Private Home (3)
Chapter 56: The Everyday Life That Unfolds When Geum Tae-yang Invades a Private Home (3)
If you asked me whether losing your dantian in this smutty martial arts world meant you had to despair no matter what, I would answer with a firm "No."
That was because one of the Fortuitous Encounters originally obtained by Namgung Gang-o—in other words, the original owner of my body—was a martial art called the Celibacy Art.
It wasn't quite worthy of being called a peerless divine art, but it was a low-grade martial art of the sort a prestigious family might have, and it was good for building up colorless internal energy that harmonized well with any martial art.
And its greatest advantage of all was that it could be learned even without a dantian.
It was a peculiar martial art that absorbed the energy of nature through the entire body by endlessly repeating its characteristic movements. Instead of accumulating it in the dantian, one built up internal energy little by little by barely scraping together the energy in the various meridians throughout the body.
In the original story, one of the Six Phoenixes had her dantian shattered and fell into despair. There was an incident in which she became one of the heroines after being given this martial art.
Though this was a smutty martial arts world, the Celibacy Art wasn't something only women could learn. It was for both men and women, so there wasn't any particular problem with Wi Ji-ja learning it.
"A cultivation art that lets you build up internal energy even without a dantian? Is it all right to give something like that to someone else so carelessly?"
"Yes. Even if you learn it, you'll do well to reach the First-rate level, and even if you're a genius who masters it completely, the initial stage of the Peak Realm is your limit."
"...Was the Peak Realm really that low a level?"
Seol Yu-ran furrowed her brow, looking a little confused. Ever since she'd realized that Chi-chi was a demonic martial artist who bore the Heavenly Killing Star, her thoughts had been tangled. Now I was making a remark that seemed to look down on masters who had broken through the wall, so she seemed to be questioning her own common sense.
Her common sense was normal, and we were the ones in the abnormal realm, but there was no need to point that out.
As long as she kept traveling with us, Seol Yu-ran would naturally come to act like us, too. If she was going to be my wife, she needed to be able to read my thoughts well.
"It's not all that low, but in these Central Plains, Peak Realm experts are common enough to be underfoot. Every one of the Hundred Great Masters of the murim is Peak Realm, for starters. That means there are a hundred Peak Realm experts in these Central Plains alone."
"Now that you put it that way, a hundred does sound like quite a lot."
"Then, so you won't have any regrets, Master, I'll pass on a Fortuitous Encounter to this pitiful Sword Saint whose wife was stolen from him."
"...Thank you."
The male disciple's thoughtfulness moved his female master.
She was so grateful that she bent forward and offered her chest to me, telling me to feel her baby-feeding pillows to my heart's content.
Sway.
"...You're really going all out with the vulgarity."
It was an incident in which Chi-chi tasted defeat, an emotion she rarely experienced.
***
"You're going to teach me martial arts?"
"Yep. It's bad enough that I stole your wife. If something happens to your daughter later on, how could you live with that? I'm teaching you so you can take good care of her and protect her, at least."
"...I appreciate you worrying about Bo-a, but even if I learn martial arts, I won't be able to use them properly. Have you forgotten? I'm someone whose dantian was shattered. Surely you're not telling me to use my Innate True Qi?"
The most common way for a martial artist with no dantian and no internal energy to use their power was to trigger their Innate True Qi.
A technique that literally burned away one's lifespan. Its side effects were so severe that even a brief use meant spending at least several weeks lying down and recuperating.
That wouldn't have been so bad in itself, but he needed to protect Wi Ji-bo at least until she came of age.
It would be sad in its own way if she lost both her parents before she even grew up.
I didn't want to be the one who gave her a reason to become an orphan for no good reason.
"It's not that. That's an evil heterodox method. I'm orthodox—just the leader of the Post-Nut Clarity Sect, a sect of total perverts."
"......"
I ignored Wi Ji-ja's gaze, which seemed to question whether I had any conscience at all, and continued.
"Anyway, the Post-Nut Clarity Sect has all kinds of bizarre martial arts. The Thunder Heaven Divine Art I learned is one of them. As a side effect, my hair turns golden and my skin becomes as dark as a Kunlun slave."
"Why does your sect have so many bizarre martial arts?"
"How am I supposed to know what kind of woman I'll meet in what kind of situation? I gathered them so I'd be prepared in advance for everything."
"......"
It was a little rude of him to wear an expression that said, "Well, that does sound like the sort of sect you'd expect."
Well, I didn't really mind.
"In any case, the Celibacy Art I'm going to teach you lets you build up internal energy even without a dantian."
"A martial art like that exists...!"
"Instead of a dantian, you gradually absorb the energy of nature into the meridians throughout your body and build it up there. Just as the Three Calamities Sword Art works with internal energy of any nature, the internal energy you build with this Celibacy Art can go with any sword technique. For instance, it'll go well with your Zhongnan swordsmanship, too. It's also extremely slow to build up internal energy."
"What are the side effects?"
The moment I brought up its drawbacks, he asked about the side effects first. Was he worried he'd turn into a Geum Tae-yang like I had with the Thunder Heaven Divine Art?
"There aren't any particular side effects to the Celibacy Art....No, actually, there is one thing you could call a side effect."
"What is it?"
"The posture for taking the energy of nature into your body is fucking ridiculous."
"......"
For once, it was far too easy to read what the man was thinking. Wi Ji-ja looked horrified, as if to ask just how ridiculous a posture had to be for me to put it that way.
If even I, an adulterer who'd stolen his wife, called it ridiculous, it was fair to assume it was truly bizarre.
It wasn't all that strange by modern standards, actually. But this was the Central Plains.
"I'll demonstrate the proper form."
I bent my knees as if sitting in an invisible chair and pushed my firm buttocks straight back. Then I leaned my upper body slightly forward at an angle, clasped my hands together, and rested them behind my head.
That was the starting position.
"This is the basic stance."
"...There is something rather indecent about it."
"From here, you repeat two movements that are unique to the art. Watch closely."
I began with the first movement.
I swayed my hips rhythmically up and down, bouncing my buttocks as if I were a woman making her tits jiggle.
Anyone from the modern world who saw it would have exclaimed that it was perfect twerking. They might have been a little embarrassed, though.
After repeating it a few times, I explained it to Wi Ji-ja, who had his mouth hanging open.
"This is the first movement. Hip shaking."
"Why does it have such an awful name?"
"Apparently, the founder was too embarrassed by the stance to give it a proper name."
"...I see."
Wi Ji-ja nodded. It was a reason he could readily understand.
"Now for the second movement. Watch carefully."
This time, I bent my knees and dropped my hips sharply, as if performing Mount Tai Suppression, then repeatedly raised and lowered them. It was the squat, which was considered good exercise even in the modern world.
Still, to a stodgy man of the Central Plains, sticking your ass out and shaking it up and down looked downright perverted.
I straightened up, releasing the stance of the Celibacy Art, and made him try it.
"Now, go on. I'll correct your form."
"If this is a joke, I will resent you."
"You already resent me. Just get on with it."
"Kh!"
I didn't want to hear a grown man go "Kh!" It wasn't like he was some female knight.
Following my instructions, Wi Ji-ja performed the stance perfectly. His middle-aged body made him sag a little, but, as a former martial artist, he had good form to begin with.
He imitated it so cleanly that I thought, if he could only regain his internal energy, he might progress quickly.
But seriously, this looks fucking ridiculous.
I wasn't one to talk, considering I was the one teaching him, but it really was a stupid-looking stance.
The whole situation was revolting: a cuckolded, handsome middle-aged man striking such an obscene pose in front of the stud who had stolen his wife.
I'd teach him as quickly as I could, then go fuck Seol Yu-ran. And while we were out, maybe I'd bring Chi-chi along for a threesome too.
"Breathe the way I showed you. Match the rhythm and force of your inhales and exhales exactly. Is your pride hurt because you're learning martial arts from the stud who stole your wife?"
"Kh! If you know that, would you stop provoking me already?"
"Then learn properly, and quickly. That way, we won't have to see each other anymore."
After I thoroughly ground down his pride, Wi Ji-ja clenched his teeth and began performing the stance flawlessly, even as sweat poured off him. Watching a middle-aged man twerk or squat was disgusting enough to make me want to look away, but there was a payoff.
It must have been about two hours later.
A faint trace of internal energy began to flow through Wi Ji-ja's body.
It was so slight that it couldn't even manifest outside his body, and it could barely circulate within him. Even so, for a man without a dantian, it must have been like seeing the light.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
After steadying his breathing, Wi Ji-ja opened his eyes. He had been so absorbed in the Celibacy Art that he was nearly in a trance, shaking only his hips the whole time. Anyone looking at him would have thought he was a middle-aged pervert.
But his expression was a little brighter than it had been when he sank beneath the earth's mantle after I stole Seol Yu-ran from him.
It seemed the restoration of the martial arts he had lost had made up for the grief of having his mate stolen.
So now I didn't need to feel any more guilt.
I silently resolved that, from now on, I would openly make displays of affection with Seol Yu-ran right in front of Wi Ji-ja, then spoke to him.
"That's the Celibacy Art. The stance may be a little questionable, but it's the only martial art that lets even someone without a dantian accumulate internal energy."
"Indeed... It's an impressive art. Rather than absorbing the energy of nature from a fixed position like the cross-legged posture, it uses movement to absorb it in a special way."
"If you master it, you might even be able to recover to First-rate. You were once called the Sword Saint, after all."
Just then, Seol Yu-ran and Chi-chi came out into the living room. As accomplished female martial artists, they had sensed that the flow of internal energy had stopped and realized we were finished, so they had come out.
At the sight of his wife, Wi Ji-ja's face turned gloomy again.
As expected, that sort of gloomy, defeated male suited him.
I slipped between Chi-chi and Seol Yu-ran and grabbed one handful of each woman's ample breasts.
Squeeze.
"Ah♡"
"Mmm♡"
With the sweetened voices of my two females as accompaniment, I fondled them as if kneading rice cake dough. Was I the only one who knew the pleasure of groping another man's wife's breasts right in front of her husband?
Leaving Wi Ji-ja behind with his face twisted, I walked out of the hut and said,
"Work hard at mastering the Celibacy Art, you impotent bastard. We're going to make Bo-a a little sibling."
"......"
I glanced back, and Wi Ji-ja's face had turned dark and murky.