A Newbie After 700 Years
A Newbie After 700 Years
Fixed Nickname: Dungeon Rogue.
That IR Gallery user is an Infinite Regressor whose regression points got tangled up because they blurted out about Infinite Regression in their sleep.
[Ah f***, no matter what I do, I can't make it past 5 minutes;;]
[Author: Dungeon Rogue]
Even if I open my eyes and run like crazy, I get wiped out in 5 minutes lol.
Ha, I feel like I could escape to the labyrinth exit if I could just secure 30 minutes, but it's too hard.
└Martial God) I told you to practice the Lightfoot Technique I taught you.
└Dungeon Rogue) I'm really sorry, but the status window says it's another class's skill and won't let me use it, okay?
└Martial God) That damn status window, f***.
└PoisonCoated) Is there even a point in escaping? You guys said you're all f***ed anyway once the labyrinth collapses.
└Dungeon Rogue) I can browse the gallery more stably for longer, lol.
└PoisonCoated) You crazy gallery addict;;
"I almost ended up like this."
Is it you again?
The greatest actor in human history, Charlie Chaplin?
They say life is a comedy when viewed from afar, and a tragedy when viewed up close.
Having almost suffered the same fate, I couldn't bring myself to laugh while reading this post.
[It's coming it'scomingit'scomingit'scoming]
[Author: Dungeon Rogue]
(Thumbnail of a terrifying abyssal eye collapsing the dungeon floor as it appears)
Run at full full full speed awayyyy
└Vampire Princess) I'm starting to get attached to that eyeball monster the more I see it!
For your information, every post Dungeon Rogue writes right before regressing is like this.
Is it because it's a gallery written with one's soul?
The desperation is fully embedded in the writing.
"To think that blurting it out causes the final boss to descend immediately."
Was it fortunate that it was sleep-talking, so the judgment was ambiguous?
Dungeon Rogue had a grace period of about 1 minute.
They ran like crazy for that 1 minute to buy 5 minutes.
And they spent those 5 minutes entirely on browsing the gallery.
If I were to blurt out Infinite Regression, would I be trapped forever in a loop where the tower collapses?
I don't know, but I didn't even want to imagine it.
More than repeating death forever,
The fact that I could never play the Monolith again was the most terrifying thing of all.
"Ugh, I shouldn't end up like that."
The fear of having almost been screwed over lasted only a moment.
[Guys, I think a newbie is here?][7]
Dungeon Rogue, who had regained their spacing after regressing, posted a new thread.
"What?"
I haven't written anything.
I was just lurking under the guise of reading the room and gathering information, so how?
Or is there another newbie Infinite Regressor from my same batch?
Curious, I clicked on the post in my head.
The content was truly astonishing.
[Guys, I think a newbie is here?]
[Author: Dungeon Rogue]
The post view count just went up by one lol.
Hurry up and say hello~
└Martial God) Thought it was clickbait, but it's real? All recent posts have 1 more view.
└PoisonCoated) They're looking at this post too.
└Heresy Purger) Is it a brother or a sister?!
└Solo Hero*) Oh, it's real. Just realized this now.
└Puppet Master) 100%.
└Vampire Princess) Finally!
└Archmage) Hahaha, the gallery will be lively for a while.
My god.
I didn't even know while watching.
"Every single post's view count was just fixed."
It was a crazy, stagnant, clique-y gallery.
How much free time do they have that every single gallery user reads every single piece of trash post without exception?
'No, wait.'
They're Infinite Regressors.
They must have an infinite amount of time to rot away.
I realized anew that the mindset of Infinite Regressors is far removed from that of normal people.
"Ah, what do I do about this."
Originally, I was going to lurk slowly and then pop out at the right timing with a bam!
It feels like the surprise party I secretly prepared was discovered right from the start.
It's awkward to pretend I didn't see it.
The view count has already gone up.
"Sheesh. I wanted to enter the tower first."
Since it's come to this, I'll just give a refreshing greeting.
If my memory serves me right, the Doomsday Timer starts ticking one day after the first entrant appears.
In other words, the title of the first player to enter is still safe.
Ah, yes.
This is what they call an information gap among regressors.
My heart is overflowing with composure.
I looked at the fixed nickname setting window and pondered for a moment.
"Hmm."
Setting a nickname is a serious matter.
But if you think about it for too long, you make a bad move.
A brilliant idea popped into my head, and I set my fixed nickname.
Gratitude to my fate for bestowing upon me the blessing of Infinite Regression.
Afterward, I lightly posted a greeting.
[Got caught....]
[Author: Amor Fati]
Hello.
A newbie Infinite Regressor bowing deeply.
First impressions are important, so I was quite polite.
I even mixed in a light joke.
A normal greeting post without any rough edges.
I waited expectantly as I posted it.
In a stagnant community, a "fresh water" newbie is guaranteed to be pampered.
Even in Dungeon Rogue's post about a newbie arriving, everyone seemed to be looking forward to it, right?
How will they lick me up?
Ding!
However, the comment reactions were outside my expectations.
└Solo Hero*) Puppet, where are you? This guy feels a bit different from the usual newbies?
└Martial God) Ah, this guy's a headache lol.
└Archmage) Seems to have aptitude for the Magic Path.
└Dungeon Rogue) (Sticker of a twin-tailed character stroking their chin with a ? floating above)
└Heresy Purger) N-nice to meet you!
└PoisonCoated) Hey, are you a nutjob?
└Vampire Princess) The newbie's state is incredibly peculiar!
"No, this is disappointing. What on earth are they looking at..."
I only posted one greeting, yet everyone treats me like a weirdo.
Besides, isn't it a post that doesn't really deserve this kind of treatment?
Just as my disappointment and curiosity were growing, a user with the fixed nickname Puppet Master appeared and explained the reason.
└Puppet Master) According to the IR Gallery first-post algorithm, 78% chance of being insane.
└Puppet Master) Given that the tone of the title and content are vastly different, 63% chance of extreme emotional instability.
"What is this guy?"
My heart, which had been full of disappointment and curiosity, was engulfed in hot flames.
└Amor Fati) No, who are you to judge me?
└Puppet Master) 63% -> 92%
└Vampire Princess) Hahahahahahaha
Damn it.
Only after posting the comment did I realize I had made the worst move.
This place is a crazy, rotten gallery built on infinite clique-y behavior.
Blood is thicker than water, after all.
Meaning, my judgment that they would unconditionally pamper a "fresh water" newbie was wrong from the start.
They were all busy teasing me, agreeing with the comment posted by the user Puppet Master.
"So that's how it's going to be."
I immediately stopped commenting.
I'm not tucking my tail and running away because I lost a keyboard battle.
You IR Gallery users can play there forever.
This newbie is going into the tower.
Let's see who wins.
Thinking that, I tried to close the IR Gallery.
Doesn't everyone think about this at least once when they're young?
If I run away from home, my parents will cry and come looking for me, right? That kind of childish, petulant thought.
Of course, in my case, it was the orphanage director.
Anyway.
As I deliberately only lurked and didn't post any more comments, reactions started to come in.
[Ah, sorry newbie. It's been so long, that's why.]
[Author: Martial God]
Don't go anywhere, let's play with us a bit more.
When else would we get to tease a newbie?
If your feelings were hurt, we apologize.
└Puppet Master) Newbie. Sorry. Just copy-pasted the result calculated by the algorithm.
└Amor Fati) No, that means you're saying I'm insane after all.
└Puppet Master) That's even better.
└Amor Fati) ?
└Solo Hero*) Yeah, that's right. It's actually better that you're not a normal human.
└Vampire Princess) You might not even be human, right?
└Amor Fati) No, first of all, I am human. And what do you mean it's better that I'm not a normal human?
└Solo Hero*) Sane newbies don't even last a hundred years before their minds break and they press the suicide button.
└PoisonCoated) True lol.
"What's a suicide button again?"
A gruesome term popped out so casually.
└Amor Fati) Suicide button?
└Solo Hero*) Nothing you need to know right now. If your regression gets tangled like Dungeon Rogue over there, send me a private message. I'll make it comfortable for you.
These crazy people.
So there was an option for euthanasia!
I can state with certainty that I will never press such a button.
But even with that button, does that user, Dungeon Rogue, delay euthanasia because of gallery browsing?
That user wasn't normal either.
└Amor Fati) No, I don't think that will happen;;
└Solo Hero*) Good.
Anyway, I roughly understood the situation.
The form of affection was just a little different,
Everyone liked me!
But there was still one thing I didn't understand.
└Amor Fati) But everyone saw me as weird even before that Puppet Master guy spoke. What on earth was that for?
└Martial God) Simple. Normal newbies don't write posts like you.
└Amor Fati) Then how do they write?
└Martial God) No, seeing that you don't even understand this, you really are a bit off, aren't you? I like you more and more lol.
└Amor Fati) ?
└Martial God) Look here. You must have died and regressed once, right?
└Amor Fati) That's right?
└Martial God) A normal person can't even write a post because they're confused. Even we don't get used to death, so imagine how it is when you die for the first time. Even if they do write, most of it is incoherent rambling like "What happened?" or "What is this place?"
└Martial God) But the first post you wrote after regressing was "Got caught"? Lol.
└Dungeon Rogue) I really thought I saw it wrong.
└Archmage) That's what I meant by having aptitude for the Magic Path. People who are missing a screw or two in their heads are usually the ones with talent for the Magic Path.
"Is that so?"
I'm not sure about that.
I died in such an instant that I didn't even have time to feel the fear of death.
Anyway, since it meant they were looking at me favorably on their own, there seemed to be no need to correct them.
Once I got used to the atmosphere to some extent, browsing the gallery was more fun than I had imagined.
Maybe it's because it's not a general gallery.
It felt like even my strong desire to enter the tower had disappeared from my field of vision for a moment.
.
.
.
.
Just as I was naturally blending into the clique-y behavior, bantering with the many IR Gallery users, the Head Admin posted a meaningful comment.
└Solo Hero*) Anyway, let's have an initiation ceremony soon.
└Martial God) Ah, right, we need to do the initiation.
└Heresy Purger) Wow! I'm looking forward to it!
└PoisonCoated) Let's go, let's go, let's go~
└Vampire Princess) How long has it been since the last initiation! I'm looking forward to it!
└Dungeon Rogue) Ha, has it been 700 years? Newbie Maker new season is here lol.
└Puppet Master) Probability of this newbie burning out is less than 2%.
└Archmage) I will definitely make you walk the Magic Path.
After the Head Admin's comment was posted, the gallery's atmosphere heated up.
"Newbie Maker?"
Judging by the tone, it feels like everyone is ready to give warm support and handouts right away?
"I don't dislike that kind of support!"
I've already figured it all out, but
If I pretend not to know and keep giving off a newbie scent, that's how I get generous support.
[What exactly is an initiation ceremony?]
[Author: Amor Fati]
Yeah.
└Solo Hero*) You just need to explain your worldview and upload a video of your first battle.
└Solo Hero*) That way we can judge what your talent is and help you.
"Aha!"
An initiation ceremony is a kind of measurement process.
In other words, it means they will pass down a secret manual that fits my body perfectly!
My nose tingled.
Is it okay for me to be this happy?
As expected, the world was a beautiful place.
Especially the IR Gallery, even more so.
I immediately wrote down the settings of my worldview in the IR Gallery with great care.
└Puppet Master) 78% probability of regression point fixation upon clearing a certain floor.
└Heresy Purger) You have to climb the tower alone? ㅠㅠ We'll always be with you so you're not lonely!
└Heresy Purger) By the way, are you a brother? Or a sister?
└PoisonCoated) That's difficult, right? You probably can't optimize various routes?
└Archmage) No matter how I look at it, the difficulty seems abnormally high.
└Martial God) I agree with the old man. Newbie, don't climb floors recklessly. If your regression point is saved incorrectly, you're seriously screwed.
└Dungeon Rogue) I know that well.
└Martial God)....
└Vampire Princess) For Infinite Regressors like us, solo play is hell difficulty....
└Solo Hero*) It's not necessarily like that. But solo play from the beginning is definitely very high difficulty.
The majority of gallery users expected my worldview's difficulty to be high.
"Even better."
If I can cheese it, I'll cheese it.
If it's hard, it's hard—that's what makes the game worth playing.
└Amor Fati) Don't worry.
└Amor Fati) So how do I record and upload the video?
└Solo Hero*) If you go into the gallery menu, there's Private Message, Screenshot, and Recording in order.
└Amor Fati) Okay, confirmed. Newbie is heading out!!
When I went into the menu, it was just as the Head Admin said.
When I clicked the recording function, a translucent camera began to float around.
-Zzzing
When I controlled it with my mental power, I could freely adjust the angle as long as I didn't send it too far away.
I changed the camera setting to a fisheye lens, then started recording the video with my face as close-up as possible.
"Newbie-no, wait, no. The newbie's tower climbing journey starts now. Entering!"
Whoosh!
And so, this round.
I became the first player in human history to enter the tower.
.
.
.
.
[First entrant detected!]
[Announcing to players nationwide.]
[The Doomsday Timer starts ticking from now on.]
[Time remaining: 7 DAYS]
[Required points: 50,000 P]
[When one player clears a floor, 1 P is accumulated.]